Chapter 3

_A month later. The shop as Act I. It is about mid-day_. ALICE _is in_ MAGGIE'S _chair at the desk, some ledgers in front of her, and_ VICKEY _is reading behind the counter. The trap is open and_ TUBBY _stands near the desk by_ ALICE.

ALICE. I'm sure I don't know what to tell you to do, Tubby.

TUBBY. There's nothing in at all to start on, Miss Alice. We're worked up.

ALICE. Well, father's out and I can't help you.

TUBBY. He'll play old Harry if he comes in and finds us doing nowt in the workroom.

VICKEY. Then do something. We're not stopping you. (_Rises and moves over to_ R.)

TUBBY (_turning on her_). You're not telling me neither. And I'm supposed to take my orders from the shop.

ALICE. I don't know what to tell you. Nobody seems to want any boots made.

TUBBY. The high-class trade has dropped like a stone this last month. Of course we can go on making clogs for stock if you like.

ALICE. Then you'd better.

TUBBY. You know what's got by selling clogs won't pay the rent, let alone wages, but if clogs are your orders, Miss Alice--(_He moves towards trap_.)

ALICE. You suggested it.

TUBBY. I made the remark. (_Starts going down_.) But I'm not a rash man, and I'm not going to be responsible to the master with his temper so nowty and all since Miss Maggie went.

ALICE. Oh, dear! What would Miss Maggie have told you to do?

TUBBY. I couldn't tell you that, Miss, I'm sure. I don't recollect things being as slack as this in her time.

VICKEY. You don't help us much for an intelligent foreman.

TUBBY. When you've told me what to do, I'll use my intelligence and see it's done properly.

ALICE. Then go and make clogs.

TUBBY. Them's your orders?

ALICE. Yes.

TUBBY. Thank you, Miss Alice.

(TUBBY _goes down trap and closes it_.)

ALICE (_rises and moves up_ L.). I wonder if I've done right?

VICKEY. That's your look-out.

ALICE. I don't care. It's father's place to be here to tell them what to do.

VICKEY. Maggie used to manage without him.

ALICE. Oh, yes. Go on. Blame me that the place is all at sixes and sevens. (_Coming down to desk_.)

VICKEY. I don't blame you. I know as well as you do that it's father's fault. He ought to look after his business himself instead of wasting more time than ever in the "Moonraker's," but you needn't be snappy with me about it.

ALICE. I'm not snappy in myself. (_Sitting at desk_.) It's these figures. I can't get them right. What's 17 and 25?

VICKEY (_promptly_). Fifty-two, of course.

ALICE. Well, it doesn't balance right. Oh, I wish I was married and out of it. (_Closes book_.)

VICKEY. Same here.

ALICE. You! (_Rises_.)

VICKEY. You needn't think you're the only one.

ALICE. Well, you're sly, Vickey Hobson. You've kept it to yourself.

VICKEY. It's just as well now that I did. Maggie's spoilt our chances for ever. Nobody's fretting to get Willie Mossop for a brother-in-law.

(MAGGIE _enters, followed by_ FREDDY BEENSTOCK _and then_ WILL. MAGGIE _and_ WILL _are actually about to be married, but their dress does not specially indicate it. They are not in their older clothes, and that is all_. FREDDY _is smarter than either, though only in his everyday dress. He is not at all a blood, but the respectable son of a respectable tradesman, and his appearance is such as to justify his attractiveness in_ VICKEY'S _eyes_. WILL, _very shy, remains up_ L. C. _near the counter_.)

ALICE. Maggie, you here!

MAGGIE. I thought we'd just drop in. Vickey, what's this that Mr. Beenstock's telling me about you and him?

VICKEY (_sullenly_). If he's told you I suppose you know.

FREDDY (L. _of counter, smilingly_). She got it out of me, Vickey.

VICKEY. I don't know that it's any business of yours, Maggie.

(_The positions now are_ VICKEY R., MAGGIE R. C., FREDDY C., WILL _up_ L. C., ALICE _down_ L. C.)

MAGGIE. You'll never get no farther with it by yourselves from what I hear of father's carryings-on.

VICKEY. That's your fault. Yours and his. (_Moving behind counter and indicating_ WILLIE, _who is trying to efface himself at the back_.)

MAGGIE (_sharply_). Leave that alone. I'm here to help you if you'll have my help.

(VICKEY _would say "No" but--_)

FREDDY. It's very good of you, Miss Maggie, I must say. Your father has turned very awkward.

MAGGIE. I reckon he'll change. Has your young man been in yet this morning, Alice? (_Moves to desk_.)

(FREDDY _moves to_ VICKEY _and leaning across the counter carries on a mild flirtation with her_.)

ALICE (_indignantly_). My young--

MAGGIE. Albert Prosser.

ALICE. No.

MAGGIE. Do you expect him?

ALICE. He's not been here so often since you and Willie Mossop got--

MAGGIE (_sharply_). Since when?

ALICE. Since you made him buy that pair of boots he didn't want.

MAGGIE (_moving_ C.). I see. He didn't like paying for taking his pleasure in our shop. Well, if he's not expected, somebody must go for him. Prosser, Pilkington & Prosser, Solicitors of Bexley Square. That's right, isn't it?

ALICE. Yes. Albert's "and Prosser."

MAGGIE (_moving up stage_ R.). Aye? Quite a big man in his way. Then, will you go and fetch him, Mr. Beenstock? Tell him to bring the paper with him.

VICKEY (_dropping down_ R., _indignantly_). You're ordering folk about a bit.

MAGGIE. I'm used to it.

FREDDY. It's all right, Vickey.

ALICE. Is it? Suppose father comes in and finds Albert and Freddy here?

MAGGIE. He won't.

ALICE. He's beyond his time already.

MAGGIE. I know. You must have worried father very badly since I went, Alice. (_Goes to_ ALICE, L.)

ALICE. Why?

MAGGIE. Tell them, Mr. Beenstock.

FREDDY. Well, the fact is, Mr. Hobson won't come because he's at our place just now.

VICKEY. At your corn warehouse? What's father doing there?

FREDDY. He's--he's sleeping, Vickey.

ALICE. Sleeping?

(WILLIE _sits on a chair in front of the counter_.)

FREDDY. You see, we've a cellar trap in our place that opens in the pavement and your father--wasn't looking very carefully where he was going and he fell into it.

VICKEY. Fell? Is father hurt? (_Up to_ FREDDY.)

FREDDY. He's snoring very loudly, but he isn't hurt. He fell soft on some bags.

MAGGIE. Now you can go for Albert Prosser.

(FREDDY _moves to doors_. L.)

ALICE. Is that all we're to be told?

MAGGIE. It's all there is to tell till Freddy's seen his solicitor.

FREDDY (_to_ VICKEY). I'll not be long.

MAGGIE. Don't. I've a job here for you when you get back.

(FREDDY _goes out_ L.)

ALICE. I don't know what you're aiming at, Maggie, but--

MAGGIE. The difference between us is that I do. I always did. (_Goes_ L.)

VICKEY (_indicating_ WILLIE). It's a queer thing you aimed at. (_Moves up to behind counter_.)

MAGGIE (_moving up to_ WILL). I've done uncommon well myself, and I've come here to put things straight for you. Father told you to get married and you don't shape.

ALICE. He changed his mind.

MAGGIE. I don't allow for folks to change their minds. He made his choice. He said get married, and you're going to.

VICKEY. You haven't made it easier for us, you know.

MAGGIE. Meaning Willie?

WILLIE. It wasn't my fault, Miss Vickey, really it wasn't.

MAGGIE. You call her Vickey, Will.

VICKEY. No, he doesn't. (_Drops down stage_ R.)

MAGGIE. He's in the family or going to be. And I'll tell you this. If you want your Freddy, and if you want your Albert, you'll be respectful to my Willie.

ALICE. Willie Mossop was our boot hand.

MAGGIE. He was, and you'll let bygones be bygones. He's as good as you are now, and better.

WILLIE. Nay, come, Maggie--

MAGGIE. Better, I say. They're shop assistants. You're your own master, aren't you?

WILLIE. I've got my name wrote up on the windows, but I dunno so much about being master.

MAGGIE (_producing card and moving down_ L. _to_ ALICE). That's his business card, William Mossop, Practical Boot and Shoe Maker, 39a, Oldfield Road, Salford. William Mossop, Master Bootmaker! That's the man you're privileged to call by his Christian name. Aye, and I'll do more for you than let you call him in his name. You can both of you kiss him for your brother-in-law to be.

WILLIE (_rising_). Nay, Maggie, I'm no great hand at kissing.

(VICKEY _and_ ALICE _are much annoyed_.)

MAGGIE (_dryly_). I've noticed that. A bit of practice will do you no harm. Come along, Vickey.

ALICE (_interposing_). But, Maggie ... a shop of your own--

MAGGIE (_grimly_). I'm waiting, Vickey.

WILLIE. I don't see that you ought to drive her to it, Maggie.

MAGGIE. You hold your hush. (_Crosses_ R. _to_ VICKEY.)

ALICE. But however did you manage it? Where did the capital come from?

MAGGIE. It came. Will, stand still. She's making up her mind to it.

WILLIE. I'd just as lief not put her to the trouble.

MAGGIE. You'll take your proper place in this family, my lad, trouble or no trouble.

VICKEY. I don't see why you should always get your way.

MAGGIE. It's just a habit. Come along now, Vickey, I've a lot to do to-day and you're holding everything back.

VICKEY. It's under protest.

MAGGIE. Protest, but kiss.

(VICKEY _goes to and kisses_ WILL, _who finds he rather likes it. She moves back_ R., _then goes up to case up_ R. _and starts dusting furiously_.)

Your turn now, Alice.

ALICE. I'll do it if you'll help me with these books, Maggie.

MAGGIE. Books? Father's put you in my place? (_Goes_ L. C.)

ALICE. Yes.

MAGGIE. Then he must take the consequences. Your books aren't my affair.

ALICE. I think you might help me, Maggie.

(VICKEY _glances back at_ WILL.)

MAGGIE. I'm surprised at you, Alice, I really am, after what you've just been told. Exposing your books to a rival shop. You ought to know better. Will's waiting. And you're to kiss him hearty now.

ALICE. Very well. (_She moves_ C. _and kisses_ WILL, _then goes back_ L.)

WILLIE. There's more in kissing nice young women than I thought.

MAGGIE. Don't get too fond of it, my lad. (_She goes to him_.)

ALICE. Well, I hope you're satisfied, Maggie. You've got your way again, and now perhaps you'll tell us if there's anything you want in this shop.

MAGGIE. Eh? Are you trying to sell me something?

ALICE. I'm asking you, what's your business here?

MAGGIE. I've told you once. Will and me's taking a day off to put you in the way of getting wed.

VICKEY (_moving to back of counter_). It looks like things are slow at your new shop if you can walk round in your best clothes on a working day.

WILLIE. It's not a working day with us. It's a wedding-day.

ALICE. You've been married this morning!

MAGGIE. Not us. (_Goes to_ R.) I'll have my sisters there when I get wed. It's at one o'clock at St. Philip's. (_Sits_ R.)

VICKEY. But we can't leave the shop to come.

MAGGIE. Why not? Is trade so brisk?

VICKEY. No, but--

(WILLIE _sits in front of counter_.)

MAGGIE. Not so much high-class trade doing with you, eh?

ALICE. I don't see how you knew.

MAGGIE. I'm good at guessing. You'll not miss owt by coming with us to church, and we'll expect you at home to-night for a wedding-spread.

VICKEY. It's asking us to approve.

MAGGIE. You have approved. You've kissed the bridegroom and you'll go along with us. Father's safe where he is. (_Rises and crosses_ L.)

ALICE. And the shop?

MAGGIE. Tubby can see to the shop. And that reminds me. You _can_ sell me something. There are some rings in that drawer there, Vickey.

VICKEY. Brass rings?

MAGGIE. Yes. I want one. That's the size. (_She holds up her wedding-ring finger and moves to the counter_.)

VICKEY. That! But you're not taking it for--

(VICKEY _puts box of rings on counter_.)

MAGGIE. Yes, I am. Will and me aren't throwing money round, but we can pay our way. There's fourpence for the ring. Gather it up, Vickey. (_Putting down money and trying on rings_.)

ALICE. Wedded with a brass ring!

MAGGIE. This one will do. It's a nice fit. Alice, you haven't entered that sale in your book. No wonder you're worried with the accounts if that's the way you see to them. (_She comes down_ L. C. _and puts ring in her bag_.)

ALICE. I'm a bit too much astonished at you to think about accounts. A ring out of stock!

MAGGIE. They're always out of some one's stock.

VICKEY. Well, I'd think shame to myself to be married with a ring like that.

MAGGIE. When folks can't afford the best they have to do without.

VICKEY. I'll take good care I never go without.

MAGGIE. Semi-detached for you, I suppose, and a houseful of new furniture.

ALICE. Haven't you furnished?

MAGGIE. Partly what. We've made a start at the Flat Iron Market. (_Sits_ L. _of_ WILLIE.)

ALICE. I'd stay single sooner than have other people's cast-off sticks in my house. Where's your pride gone to, Maggie?

MAGGIE. I'm not getting wed myself to help the furnishing trade along. I suppose you'd turn your nose up at second-hand stuff, too, Vickey?

VICKEY. I'd start properly or not at all. (_Goes to desk_, L.)

MAGGIE. Then you'll neither of you have any objections to my clearing out the lumber-room upstairs. (_Rises_.) We brought a hand-cart round with us. (_Nudges_ WILL.)

(WILL _rises and takes his coat off. He has detachable cuffs which he places carefully on the arm-chair_.)

VICKEY. You made sure of things.

MAGGIE. Yes. Get upstairs, Will. I told you what to bring.

ALICE. Wait a bit. (_Crosses to_ C.)

MAGGIE. Go on. (_Moves_ R. _slightly_.)

(WILL _goes into the house_.)

ALICE. Let me tell you if you claim the furniture from your old bedroom--(_up to_ MAGGIE),--that it's my room now, and you'll not budge a stick of it.

MAGGIE. I expected you'd promote yourself, Alice. But I said lumber-room. There's a two-three broken chairs in the attic and a sofa with the springs all gone. You'll not tell me they're of any use to you.

ALICE. Nor to you, neither.

MAGGIE. Will's handy with his fingers. He'll put in this afternoon mending them. They'll be secure against you come to sit on them at supper-time to-night.

VICKEY. And that's the way you're going to live! With cast-off furniture. (_Moves to window_, L.)

MAGGIE. Aye. In two cellars in Oldfield Road.

VICKEY _and_ ALICE. A cellar!

MAGGIE. _Two_ of 'em, Alice. One to live and work in and the other to sleep in.

ALICE. Well, it 'ud not suit me.

VICKEY. Nor me.

MAGGIE. It suits me fine. And when me and Will are richer than the lot of you together, it'll be a grand satisfaction to look back and think about how we were when we began.

(WILL _appears_ R. _with two crippled chairs and begins to cross the shop_.)

VICKEY (_stopping him_). Just a minute, Will. (_She examines the chairs_.) These chairs are not so bad.

MAGGIE. You can sit on one to-night and see.

VICKEY. You know, mended up, those chairs would do very well for my kitchen when I'm wed.

ALICE. Yes, or for mine.

MAGGIE. I reckon my parlour comes afront of your kitchens, though.

VICKEY. Parlour! I thought you said you'd only one living-room.

MAGGIE. Then it might as well be called a parlour as by any other name. (_Crosses to doors_, L., _and opens them_.) Put the chairs on the hand-cart, Will.

(WILL _goes out to street_.)

And as for your kitchens, you've got none yet, and if you want my plan for you to work, you'll just remember all I'm taking off you is some crippled stuff that isn't yours and what I'm getting for you is marriage portions.

ALICE. What? (_Moves to_ C.)

VICKEY. Marriage portions, Maggie!

(FREDDY _re-enters, accompanied by_ ALBERT.)

MAGGIE (_to_ VICKEY _and_ ALICE). You'd better put your hats on now, or you'll be late at the church. (_Gets between_ ALICE _and_ VICKEY, C.)

VICKEY. But aren't we to know first--?

MAGGIE (_herding them to_ R. _exit_). You'll know all right. Be quick with your things now.

(ALICE _and_ VICKEY _go out_ R.)

MAGGIE (_turns_). Good morning, Albert. (_Goes to him_, L.) Have you got what Freddy asked you for?

ALBERT. Yes, but I'm afraid--

(WILL _re-enters from street, crosses_ R. _and goes off_.)

MAGGIE. Never mind being afraid. Freddy, I told you I'd a job here for you. You go upstairs with Will. There's a sofa to come down. Get your coat off to it. Now, then, Albert.

FREDDY. But--(_Moving over to_ R.)

MAGGIE. I've told you what to do, and you can't do it in your coat. (_Moves down_ L.) If that sofa isn't here in two minutes, I'll leave the lot of you to tackle this yourselves and a nice hash you'll make of it.

(FREDDY _takes his coat off and puts it on a chair in front of the counter_.)

FREDDY. All right, Maggie.

(FREDDY _goes out_ R., ALBERT _produces blue paper. She reads_.)

MAGGIE (_sitting in arm-chair_, R. C.). Do you call this English?

ALBERT (_standing_ L. _of her_). Legal English, Miss Hobson.

MAGGIE. I thought it weren't the sort we talk in Lancashire. What is it when you've got behind the whereases and the saids and to wits?

ALBERT. It's what you told Freddy to instruct me. Action against Henry Horatio Hobson for trespass on the premises of Jonathan Beenstock & Co., Corn Merchants, of Chapel Street, Salford, with damages to certain corn bags caused by falling on them and further damages claimed for spying on the trade secrets of the aforesaid J. B. & Co.

MAGGIE. Well, I'll take your word that this means that--I shouldn't have thought it, but I suppose lawyers are like doctors. They've each a secret language, of their own so that if you get a letter from one lawyer you've to take it to another to get it read, just like a doctor sends you to a chemist with a rigmarole that no one else can read, so they can charge you what they like for a drop of coloured water.

ALBERT. I've made this out to your instructions, Miss Hobson, but I'm far from saying it's good law, and I'd not be keen on going into court with it.

MAGGIE. Nobody asked you to. It won't come into court.

(WILL _and_ FREDDY _enter C. with a ramshackle horsehair sofa_.)

(_Rises_.) Open that door for them, Albert.

(ALBERT _opens street door. They pass out_.)

What's the time? You can see the clock from there.

ALBERT (_outside street door_). It's a quarter to one.

MAGGIE (_flying to_ R. _door, opening it, and calling_). Girls, if you're late for my wedding I'll never forgive you.

(_She turns as_ WILL _and_ FREDDY _return_.)

Put your coats on. Now, then, Freddy--(_going_ C.),--you take that paper and put it on _my_ father in _your_ cellar.

FREDDY. Now?

MAGGIE. Now? Yes, of course now. He might waken any time.

FREDDY. He looked fast enough. Aren't I to come to the church?

MAGGIE. Yes, if you do that quick enough to get there before we're through.

FREDDY. All right. (_He goes out_ L., _pocketing the paper_. MAGGIE _follows him to the door_.)

MAGGIE. Now there's that hand-cart. Are we to take it with us?

ALBERT. To church! You can't do that.

WILLIE. I'll take it home. (_Slight move_.)

MAGGIE. And have me waiting for you at the church? That's not for me, my lad.

ALBERT. You can't very well leave it where it is.

MAGGIE. No. There's only one thing for it. You'll have to take it to our place, Albert.

ALBERT. Me!

MAGGIE. There's the key. (_Down to_ ALBERT, L., _and hands it from her bag_.) It's 39a, Oldfield Road.

ALBERT. Yes, but to push a hand-cart through Salford in broad daylight!

MAGGIE. It won't dirty your collar.

ALBERT. Suppose some of my friends see me?

(_They both move up_ L.)

MAGGIE. Look here, my lad, if you're too proud to do a job like that, you're not the husband for my sister.

ALBERT. It's the look of the thing. Can't you send somebody from here?

MAGGIE. No. You can think it over. (_She raises trap_.) Tubby!

TUBBY (_below_). Yes, Miss. (_He appears half-way up trap_.) Why, it's Miss Maggie!

MAGGIE. Come up, Tubby. You're in charge of the shop. We'll all be out for awhile.

TUBBY. I'll be up in half a minute, Miss Maggie. (_He goes down and closes trap_.)

MAGGIE. Well, Albert Prosser?

ALBERT (_up_ L.). I suppose I must.

MAGGIE. That's right. We'll call it your wedding gift to me, and I'll allow you're putting yourself out a bit for me.

(_Going with him to the door. He goes. She turns and comes to_ C.)

Well, Will, you've not had much to say for yourself to-day. Howst feeling, lad?

WILLIE. I'm going through with it, Maggie.

MAGGIE. Eh?

WILLIE. My mind's made up. I've got wrought up to point. I'm ready.

MAGGIE. It's church we're going to, not the dentist's.

WILLIE. I know. You get rid of summat at dentist's, but it's taking summat on to go to church with a wench, and the Lord knows what.

MAGGIE. Sithee, Will, I've a respect for church. Yon's not the place for lies. The parson's going to ask you will you have me and you'll either answer truthfully or not at all. If you're not willing, just say so now, and--

WILLIE. I'll tell him "yea".

MAGGIE. And truthfully?

WILLIE. Yes, Maggie. I'm resigned. You're growing on me, lass. I'll toe the line with you.

(ALICE _and_ VICKEY _enter_ R. _in their Sunday clothes--the same at which_ HOBSON _grew indignant in Act I_. MAGGIE _takes_ WILLIE _across to_ L.)

ALICE. We're ready, Maggie.

MAGGIE. And time you were. It's not your weddings that you're dressing for. (_By trap_.) Come up, Tubby, and keep an eye on things.

VICKEY. (_to_ WILL). Will, have you got the ring?

MAGGIE. I have. Do you think I'd trust him to remember?

(MAGGIE _goes off with_ WILL. VICKEY _and_ ALICE _are following, laughing_. TUBBY _comes up trap and throws old shoes after them_.)

CURTAIN.