Category: Humour

Her Royal Highness Woman

The case for man, the defendant--Freemasonry between women--Which is right?--Influence of plumage--The female bird--Man is not invariably wrong--'What is good for the goose is good for the gander'--But there is a difference between the goose and the gander 74

Chapters

85. CHAPTER XLII

If I were a woman of robust health, rich or poor, and I had no fascination for men, and matrimony had no fascination for me, I would become a nurse. The great, the only problem...

86. CHAPTER XLIII

Madame Proquet lived in a little town in Brittany, which she had never quitted in her life. She had been born there, she had married there, and there it was that she had brought...

70. CHAPTER XXVII

I loathe the domination of woman, but I ever crave for her influence, and I believe that any man of refinement and thinking, that any lover and admirer of woman, will echo this...

87. CHAPTER XLIV

Women of strong character--Obstinacy and prejudice--Tastes and temperaments--The diplomatic woman--The strong-minded woman--The superiority of woman--Monopolizers--Little women-...

49. CHAPTER VI

If at the beginning of his married life a man cannot have enough control over himself to see that his wife does not get her own way in everything, and that he does not make hims...

88. CHAPTER XLV

Few lovers are sure of each other. If you doubt it, listen to what they say, and you will constantly hear them repeat: 'Do you love me?' 'Will you always love me?' or 'How long...

59. CHAPTER XVI

Well, if he marries a rich wife, of course it does; but, you see, money helps wherever it comes from, and so we must put this consideration out of the question altogether.

60. CHAPTER XVII

The case for man, the defendant--Freemasonry between women--Which is right?--Influence of plumage--The female bird--Man is not invariably wrong--'What is good for the goose is g...

57. CHAPTER XIV

I believe that what sexes admire most in the other are the qualities which they do not generally possess themselves. For instance, a man will always tell you that the qualities...

65. CHAPTER XXII

The English woman the most charming of women--The British the most ridiculous one--English and British--The British matron is the produce of British soil--Her ways--Her fads and...

62. CHAPTER XIX

The female attire--Women dress for breakfast and undress for dinner--You don't know them from Eve--Society likes to be exposed--How French, English, German and American women dr...

72. CHAPTER XXIX

England and America are two branches of a family who once quarrelled--For their common interests they may make it up, but there will never be any love lost--There are no such qu...

61. CHAPTER XVIII

The different kinds of girls that men seek in matrimony--Jealousy is intensified, not created, by love--Why should not a married man continue to admire women?--I want to knock d...

51. CHAPTER VIII

The best thing that can happen to a man is to be ruled by his wife; but she should rule him so discreetly, so diplomatically, that he could almost boast that it is he who rules...

83. CHAPTER XL

In some countries of the Far East the question has been settled, so far as women are concerned: they burn their widows. In many places much nearer home it is not unfrequent to h...

73. CHAPTER XXX

Ernest Renan, whom nobody would dream of charging with frivolity, said that the first duty of woman was to look beautiful. Victor Hugo once said that it was to look pleasant. In...

69. CHAPTER XXVI

On the whole, I believe that there is no country where men and women go through life together on such equal terms as in France. The wife follows her husband everywhere; she is t...

75. CHAPTER XXXII

If I were asked to name the spots of the earth where my eyes had the privilege of beholding the most beautiful specimens of womanhood, I think I would name the streets of Buda-P...

81. CHAPTER XXXVIII

Women do have grievances--Various specimens of widows--The jolly widow--The inconsolate widow--The plump widow--Marriageable widows--Mourning and black--Last wills and testament...

67. CHAPTER XXIV

The first time that I was in America, some twelve years ago, I one day mentioned to a newspaper reporter that I could not find a cup of tea to please me anywhere in America. The...

52. CHAPTER IX

Pleasure is a passing sensation. What the soul craves for is a permanent state. Pleasure is the satisfaction of the moment; happiness is the security of the morrow. Nothing but...

77. CHAPTER XXXIV

There is a great difference between the flirt and the coquette. The flirt accepts, even invites, your attentions, without expecting intentions. The coquette is a woman who gives...

44. CHAPTER I

'I am a man, and everything that concerns woman interests me,' might have said Terence. This is also what every Frenchman says, and why of all men on earth he is the one who kno...

53. CHAPTER X

The following reflections were suggested to me by a pitiful story that I heard a few days ago only. A young, beautiful girl, belonging to the best society, was engaged to be mar...

50. CHAPTER VII

The Roman and British Empires were founded by men who did not allow themselves to be led by women. The gentle submission of woman to man is the basis of every solid social syste...

66. CHAPTER XXIII

If I were asked to suggest a new coat-of-arms for the United States of America, I would propose a beautiful, bright, intelligent-looking woman, under the protection of an eagle...

47. CHAPTER IV

Now, what should influence him most in that choice? Money? Never--oh, never, unless it be out of philanthropy and on reflecting that, after all, it would be very hard on rich gi...

58. CHAPTER XV

Has love anything to do with gratitude? In other words, does gratitude engender love? No; to kill a woman's love for him a man has only to keep on reminding her of what he has d...

74. CHAPTER XXXI

I once wrote an article on 'The Woman I Hate,' which brought me an avalanche of letters, not all very pleasing reading. Many of them conveyed to me the wrath of viragos, women's...

79. CHAPTER XXXVI

Cupboard love--Every kind of love is more or less selfish except maternal love--Maternal love over-rated--If you never had a grannie, do get one--Reminiscences of grannies--A sa...

78. CHAPTER XXXV

'Am I the man as wants a gentleman to drive him?'--How can you tell a lady?--A lady is a woman who adds to the virtues of a woman the qualities of a gentleman.

63. CHAPTER XX

The wealthy classes of society in every civilized nation in the world are so much alike in their manners, habits, and customs, that they offer very little food to the observer o...

84. CHAPTER XLI

Laws that will be altered during the twentieth century--People will have to pass examinations before they are allowed to marry--The Church should give young couples a happy star...

64. CHAPTER XXI

The Englishman is no doubt cut out to make colonies, but less to make love, for the simple reason that he does not know how to forget himself, and spends the greater part of his...

55. CHAPTER XII

The art of courtship as practised in France and England leaves the amorous Gaul sometimes at a decided disadvantage, and sometimes at a marked advantage, by comparison with the...

56. CHAPTER XIII

Should a woman marry a woman-hater? Yes, some people say, because he will pay no attention to any other woman, and will be a faithful husband in all the force of the expression....

80. CHAPTER XXXVII

I once heard a Frenchman give the following definition of the difference that exists between an accident and a misfortune. Suppose you walk along the bank of a river in the comp...

45. CHAPTER II

If we look back into the dawn of the world, we see that, from her first appearance, woman has always been a great power. Indeed, she had the leading part in the first great dram...

54. CHAPTER XI

Man is capable of love as earnestly as woman is; but love is not the whole business of his life, whereas it is a woman's. When a child, she loves her doll; when a girl, her moth...

48. CHAPTER V

In choosing their partners for life, people should be as careful as in choosing their ancestors. To give advice in the matter, however, is a very delicate task to undertake.

46. Chapter III

Never go down on your knees to declare your love; you will spoil your trousers and feel very uncomfortable. Rather give the lady an opportunity of denying that you were on your...

71. CHAPTER XXVIII

Continental men visiting England and the United States do not, as a rule, understand the comparative familiarity with which they are treated by women to whom they have been prop...

76. CHAPTER XXXIII

Characteristics of blondes and brunettes--The _ingenue_ and the villainess--Which of the two do men like better?--Sauterne and Burgundy--I like both--All women cannot afford to...

68. CHAPTER XXV

Whenever I read a testimonial given to a candidate for some vacant post, I invariably take it for granted that the candidate does not possess the virtues, attainments, or qualit...

82. CHAPTER XXXIX

Next to the mother-in-law, the stepmother, and the widow, it is the old maid who comes in for the largest share of scorn and sarcasm, and this is all the more mean that, nine ti...

19. CHAPTER XIX

The female attire--Women dress for breakfast and undress for dinner--You don't know them from Eve--Society likes to be exposed --How French, English, German and American women d...

28. CHAPTER XXIX

England and America are two branches of a family who once quarrelled --For their common interests they may make it up, but there will never be any love lost--There are no such q...

42. CHAPTER XLIV

Women of strong character--Obstinacy and prejudice--Tastes and temperaments--The diplomatic woman--The strong-minded woman--The superiority of woman--Monopolizers--Little women-...

17. CHAPTER XVII

The case for man, the defendant--Freemasonry between women--Which is right?--Influence of plumage--The female bird--Man is not invariably wrong--'What is good for the goose is g...

18. CHAPTER XVIII

The different kinds of girls that men seek in matrimony--Jealousy is intensified, not created, by love--Why should not a married man continue to admire women?--I want to knock d...

40. CHAPTER XLI

Laws that will be altered during the twentieth century--People will have to pass examinations before they are allowed to marry-- The Church should give young couples a happy sta...

34. CHAPTER XXXV

'Am I the man as wants a gentleman to drive him?'--How can you tell a lady?--A lady is a woman who adds to the virtues of a woman the qualities of a gentleman 167

22. CHAPTER XXII

The English woman the most charming of women--The British the most ridiculous one--English and British--The British matron is the produce of British soil--Her ways--Her fads and...

35. CHAPTER XXXVI

Cupboard love--Every kind of love is more or less selfish except maternal love--Maternal love over-rated--If you never had a grannie, do get one--Reminiscences of grannies--A sa...

10. CHAPTER X

32. CHAPTER XXXIII

Characteristics of blondes and brunettes--The _ingenue_ and the villainess--Which of the two do men like better?--Sauterne and Burgundy--I like both--All women cannot afford to...

37. CHAPTER XXXVIII

Women do have grievances--Various specimens of widows--The jolly widow--The inconsolate widow--The plump widow--Marriageable widows--Mourning and black--Last wills and testament...

14. CHAPTER XIV

5. CHAPTER V

13. CHAPTER XIII

20. CHAPTER XX

11. CHAPTER XI

4. CHAPTER IV

21. CHAPTER XXI

31. CHAPTER XXXII

9. CHAPTER IX

1. CHAPTER I

3. CHAPTER III

38. CHAPTER XXXIX

26. CHAPTER XXVI

2. CHAPTER II

23. CHAPTER XXIII

39. CHAPTER XL

12. CHAPTER XII

16. CHAPTER XVI

24. CHAPTER XXIV

7. CHAPTER VII

8. CHAPTER VIII

36. CHAPTER XXXVII

15. CHAPTER XV

27. CHAPTER XXVIII

41. CHAPTER XLII

29. CHAPTER XXX

30. CHAPTER XXXI

6. CHAPTER VI

43. CHAPTER XLV

33. CHAPTER XXXIV

25. CHAPTER XXV