Chapter 2
_The nursery. Half-past two in the afternoon. A cool, delightful white room, with a frieze of children playing in the ocean spray; shelves of bright-colored books on the walls, and the months of a large calendar by Elizabeth Shippen Green framed underneath. There is a deep bow-window at the back; the principal door is at the Left, and a smaller one on the Right. Toys of all sizes, for all ages, are scattered about with a holiday air. There is a sofa on the Right and a hobby horse on the Left._
_There are four charming though somewhat spoiled children, with intermittent manners, with napkins tied up under their chins, sitting around the table, which is a little to the right of the centre of the room._
_The_ FOOTMAN _is busy removing the plates; the butler,_ MOLES, _who stands behind_ PHILIP, _always takes_ PHILIP'S _plate. It is_ PHILIP'S _birthday._ LIZZIE _stands behind_ ELAINE. _In the centre of the table is a large cake with seven candles burning on it._
PHILIP. What comes next?
CHRISTOPHER. Soup!
[LIZZIE _and_ MOLES _suppress smiles, exchanging looks of delighted appreciation of_ CHRISTOPHER'S _humor._
TOOTS. Ice cream!
ELAINE. Don't be absurd, Christopher, we've _had_ soup.
CHRISTOPHER. I like it!
TOOTS. I like ice cream!
ELAINE. [_To_ TOOTS.] Sh!
PHILIP. What comes next, Moles?
MOLES. I don't know, sir.
[_He goes out._
ELAINE. T'ain't manners to ask, anyway, Phil.
PHILIP. Who cares! It's my birthday!
CHRISTOPHER. When will it be my birthday?
[_The_ FOOTMAN _reënters with plates, followed by_ MOLES, _with silver dish of croquettes._
PHILIP. Here it comes; what is it?
MOLES. Chicken croquettes, sir.
PHILIP. Left overs! Had chicken yesterday! Bring 'em here first!
MOLES. No, ladies first, sir.
[_Serves_ ELAINE.
LIZZIE. And besides, Miss Elaine is company.
[MOLES _serves_ CHRISTOPHER.
PHILIP. That's all right. S'long it's Elaine, everything goes!
ELAINE. Phil!
[_Sliding down from her chair, she runs to him and kisses him._
PHILIP. [_Hopelessly embarrassed._] Don't! not in front of everybody!
ELAINE. But I do love you, Phil, and you're my beau, and I'm so glad it's your birthday.
[_Goes back to her place unashamed and contented._
[MOLES _serves_ PHILIP.
LIZZIE. You oughtn't to talk about beaux at your age, Miss--ought Miss Elaine?
[_To_ MOLES _with a knowing glance._
MOLES. I ain't discussing the sex with you, Lizzie, but I will say all the girls I've known, began talking about beaux early and ended late.
CHRISTOPHER. I heard Lizzie and Moles talking about Aunt Georgiana's beau!
LIZZIE. Sh!
[FOOTMAN _goes out with the croquette dish._
ELAINE. Mr. Dick Coleman's Miss Carley's beau!
PHILIP. No, he isn't! Mr. Dick's known Aunt Georgiana always, they're just little boy and girl friends. Lizzie says she's Cousin Sammy Coast's sweetheart.
LIZZIE. [_Indignant, though convulsed._] I never did!
PHILIP. Yes, you did! To Maggie when you thought I wasn't paying attention.
[LIZZIE _and_ MOLES _exchange amused glances._
ELAINE. But Mr. Coast's your auntie's cousin; and your cousin can't be your beau.
PHILIP. He ain't any relation to Auntie Georgiana. Mamma said so. Mr. Coast's mamma's cousin, and grandma's nephew, but grandma isn't any real relation to auntie.
CHRISTOPHER. How?
PHILIP. I don't know how, only Aunt Georgiana had a different mamma, she didn't have grandma.
ELAINE. And the same papa!
PHILIP. Not all the time, mamma had another papa first.
CHRISTOPHER. It's sort of mixy, isn't it?
PHILIP. Yes, I guess mamma and Aunt Georgy are sort of divorced sisters!
ELAINE. Oh!
[_As if that explained it._
TOOTS. [_Beating the table._] Lemmlelade! lemmlelade!
[MOLES _crosses to pitcher and serves_ TOOTS _first, then the others._
PHILIP. Toots, you're getting tipsy!
[_The children laugh._
CHRISTOPHER. Cousin Sammy comes to see Aunt Georgiana nearly every day.
PHILIP. Yes--he's begun to bring toys just like some of the others did.
CHRISTOPHER. [_With his mouth full._] Hobby horse! Hobby horse!
[_Pointing to the hobby horse._
LIZZIE. Don't talk with your mouth full, Mr. Christopher.
PHILIP. [_Shouting._] He'll choke! He'll choke!
[_All laugh, tremendously amused._
MOLES. Mr. Coast is a very fine gentleman.
PHILIP. Oh, I know! I saw him give you a dollar the other day, when he came to see auntie, and you advised his waiting and said auntie'd be in by five.
LIZZIE. Isn't he a case!
MOLES. He certainly is.
[_Returns pitcher to table on the Left._
CHRISTOPHER. I like Mr. Dick best. He's always taking us places and things.
TOOTS. [_Who has finished his croquette and is now ready for conversation._] Um! Circus!
PHILIP. And not just 'cause he's stuck on auntie.
MOLES. You oughtn't to use that expression, Mr. Philip.
PHILIP. Why not! you do. I heard you tell Lizzie you were stuck on her last Sunday.
LIZZIE. [_Blushing._] Oh, my!
CHRISTOPHER. Mr. Dick's a soldier!
PHILIP. Yes, siree! He helped stop a strike of street cars in Brooklyn. His name was in the papers!
CHRISTOPHER. He was hurted bad, and if he was dead, he'd have a monnyment with "Hero" embroidered on it. Aunt Georgiana said so!
ELAINE. I should think Miss Georgiana was too old, anyway, to have beaux.
CHRISTOPHER. Oh, awful old!
LIZZIE. Oh! Miss Carley isn't so old!
PHILIP. Yes, she is, too! She's our old maid aunt.
ELAINE. If she wasn't old, she'd be married. It must be awful to be so old.
PHILIP. She's nearly thirty, I guess.
ALL THE CHILDREN. Oh!
[_Loud and long._
CHRISTOPHER. You'll be deader soon after thirty, won't you?
TOOTS. [_Crying._] I don't want Auntie Georgiana to be a deader!
PHILIP. [_Bored._] Shut up!
LIZZIE. [_Comes to_ TOOTS _and comforts him_.] Toots, dear!
PHILIP. I'm glad Aunt Georgiana's an old maid, 'cause I don't want her to leave us.
[FOOTMAN _enters and stands at the Right_.]
She gave me my birthday party.
MOLES. Yes, and this whole house'd miss your aunt, I can tell you that, Mr. Philip. [_Takes away the plates._] She just keeps things going smooth with everybody.
PHILIP. I told her I saw you kiss Lizzie on the back stairs, Saturday.
MOLES. What!
[_Gives dishes to the_ FOOTMAN.
LIZZIE. He didn't! He didn't!
PHILIP. Yes, that's what Aunt Georgiana said, but I know better, and so does she, I guess!
LIZZIE. Isn't he a case!
[MOLES _goes out with the_ FOOTMAN.
PHILIP. Now what?
CHRISTOPHER. Soup!
PHILIP. Ice cream! I want ice cream!
LIZZIE. Sh!
ELAINE. My mamma don't let my brothers behave so at the table.
PHILIP. Neither don't we, 'cept our birthdays.
[MOLES _reënters with a tray and plates._
CHRISTOPHER. What is it?
PHILIP. [_Screams._] Eeh! Ice cream! It's ice cream!
LIZZIE. Sh!
PHILIP. Go ahead, dish it out!
[_Laughs._
[MOLES _serves ice cream to_ ELAINE, _then to_ PHILIP, TOOTS, _and_ CHRISTOPHER.
CHRISTOPHER. Mr. Dick Coleman is gooder as Cousin Sammy Coast.
ELAINE. Aunt Georgiana is goodest as him!
CHRISTOPHER. Aunt Georgiana is gooder as mamma!
TOOTS. And most goodest as grandma.
[LIZZIE _exchanges a glance with_ MOLES _and goes out Right._
PHILIP. Grandma! Rats!
MOLES. [_To_ PHILIP.] Sh!
PHILIP. [_Shouts._] Stop, Chris! He's taking too much ice cream!
ALL THE CHILDREN. Chris! Chris!
[_They keep up the clamor, laughing and shouting, till_ LIZZIE _comes back._
LIZZIE. Children! here comes grandma.
PHILIP. [_Disgusted._] Oh, pshaw!
CHRISTOPHER. Don't want grandma.
LIZZIE. Sh!
[MRS. CARLEY _comes in from the Right. She is a middle-aged woman, of faded prettiness and frivolous manner. Every line and bit of character has been massaged out of her face. There is a sudden, embarrassed, and gloomy silence on the part of the children._
MRS. CARLEY. Well, children, having a lovely party?
PHILIP. [_Grudgingly._] Yes, ma'am!
ELAINE. [_Politely._] Yes, ma'am.
CHRISTOPHER. Aunt Georgiana's party!
MRS. CARLEY. Yes, dear, it's too bad mamma is ill in bed. She says when you are all through, you may come up and say how do you do, while she kisses Phil. [_Silence._] That will be nice, won't it?
PHILIP. [_Grudgingly._] Yes, ma'am.
ELAINE. Yes, ma'am.
CHRISTOPHER. Yes, ma'am.
TOOTS. No!
MRS. CARLEY. We are glad you could come in, Elaine, and help celebrate Philip's birthday.
ELAINE. Thank you, ma'am!
[TOOTS _is mashing his ice cream strenuously with a spoon._
MRS. CARLEY. Toots! don't be naughty and don't mash your ice cream up like that.
TOOTS. I like it.
CHRISTOPHER. Me too--it makes soup!
[_Copying_ TOOTS.
MRS. CARLEY. Your collar's crooked, Chris.
[_Arranging it._
CHRISTOPHER. Ouch!
[_Squirming._
MRS. CARLEY. Phil, shall grandma cut your cake for you?
PHILIP. No, ma'am, Auntie Georgiana's going to cut it.
MRS. CARLEY. Oh, very well. How's your mamma, Elaine? Is she going to the big ball to-morrow?
ELAINE. Yes, ma'am.
MRS. CARLEY. We feel dreadfully. Philip's mamma's illness prevents our going.
ELAINE. Mamma said you weren't invited.
MRS. CARLEY. [_Pats_ PHILIP _on the head, to his great disgust and discomfort._] Your mamma had better mind! Your mamma is mistaken! Good-by, children, grandma is sorry she can't stay and have a good time with you. I am going to call, Elaine, on the Countess of Worling, Mrs. Tom Cooley's daughter. I don't think your mother knows them. Good-by, dears, enjoy yourselves.
[_She goes out Left._
[_Silence till the door is well shut behind grandma, and then the children break out with shouts, all of them, of "Good-by, Grandma. Good-by," repeated ad lib. Then they calm down._
PHILIP. Bully! Grandma's gone!
CHRISTOPHER. Ice cream!
ALL THE CHILDREN. More ice cream! Ice cream!
PHILIP. Let's see.
[MOLES _hands him the ice cream dish._
CHRISTOPHER. [_To_ PHILIP.] Can I have some more, or will it make me sick?
PHILIP. [_Serves the children._] No, there's plenty. When there isn't enough, mamma always says it will make us sick.
CHRISTOPHER. And papa--when we have company unexpected, and there isn't enough of anything, papa always says F.H.B.
PHILIP. F.H.B.
ELAINE. Why?
CHRISTOPHER. He says it means Family Hold Back, and we all have to say "No, thank you," when it comes around! Do you like grandma, Phil?
PHILIP. Naw! Grandma's no good.
[MOLES _goes out with the empty ice cream dish._
TOOTS. No good, grandma!
[_A knock outside the door Left._
GEORGIANA. [_Outside._] Hello! Hello!
PHILIP. [_Delighted._] Aunt Georgiana!
ALL THE CHILDREN. Aunt Georgiana!
GEORGIANA. [_Outside._] Is this a private room at Sherry's, or may an old maid aunt come in?
ALL. No! Yes! Come in--come on in!
[_They clatter on the table with their spoons, and shout "Hurrah! Aunt Georgiana!" as_ GEORGIANA _enters. She is a beautiful creature, about thirty, and in the very height of health and spirits--an American Beauty rose the moment before it opens. She is flushed after her quick walk in the bracing, sunshiny winter's day. No wonder the children--and others--adore her!_
GEORGIANA. What a good time!
CHRISTOPHER. Oh, we're having the beautifulest time, Auntie!
PHILIP. Great!
ELAINE. Perfectly lovely!
TOOTS. Um! Ice cream! Lots!
GEORGIANA. That's good! Stuff all you can, Toots! Are you ready to cut the cake?
ALL THE CHILDREN. Yes! Yes!
PHILIP. We waited for you.
CHRISTOPHER. We wouldn't let grandma.
[GEORGIANA _drops her furs on the sofa and then comes to the table._
GEORGIANA. There's a ring in it. Whoever gets it will be married in a year.
[_Starts to cut the cake._
TOOTS. I want the ring!
PHILIP. Hush up, you're only a baby!
[_A loud knock on the door Left._
GEORGIANA. Oh, yes, I forgot. Cousin Sam wants to wish you many happy returns, Philip. May he come in?
PHILIP. Pshaw! Another man!
CHRISTOPHER. [_In a "stagewhisper" to_ ELAINE.] He's the one--auntie's sweetheart!
GEORGIANA. [_Amused._] Nonsense, Christopher, that's silly talk. Stop that for good! [_Loud knocks repeated. To_ PHILIP.] May Cousin Sam come in? [PHILIP _nods_.] All right, he's got some presents! Come in, Mr. Coast.
[COAST _comes in and goes straight to_ PHILIP. SAM COAST _is a tall, slender, but strong-looking man, rather "raw-boned." He is dressed most fashionably and most expensively,--over-dressed, in fact, and yet not too vulgarly. A man of muscle and nerve, who makes his own code and keeps his own counsel._
COAST. Shake, Phil.
[_Shakes his hand._
PHILIP. [_His hand hurt._] Golly! He can squeeze, can't he, Aunt Georgiana?
GEORGIANA. Well, really! Miss Elaine Jackson--Mr. Coast.
ELAINE. [_Embarrassed, rises, and curtseys._] How do you do?
COAST. Pleased to make your acquaintance. Hello, rest of you.
CHRISTOPHER and TOOTS. Hello!
CHRISTOPHER. Are you Auntie Georgiana's beau?
COAST. Yes!
GEORGIANA. Chris!
CHRISTOPHER. Lizzie says so!
LIZZIE. I never!
TOOTS, CHRISTOPHER, and PHILIP. Yes, you did! You did too! You did too!
LIZZIE. [_To_ GEORGIANA.] I never did, miss!
PHILIP. Yes you did, you did too!
GEORGIANA. I hope you didn't, Lizzie. You may leave the children with me now.
LIZZIE. Yes, ma'am.
[LIZZIE, MOLES, _and_ FOOTMAN _go out at Right, each taking some plates, etc._
GEORGIANA. [_To_ COAST.] I hope you don't mind.
COAST. Of course I don't. It's true as far as I'm concerned.
GEORGIANA. [_Laughing._] It's not!
COAST. Listen, will you bet?
GEORGIANA. [_Laughing._] Not before the children!
PHILIP. Come on, let's cut the cake!
GEORGIANA. Blow out the candles!
[_All the children blow out the candles and then get down from the table._
COAST. And here's my contribution to the party.
[_Brings out six big German mottoes from his pocket, and goes to table with them._
GEORGIANA. [_In pretended excitement._] What? Mottoes!
ALL THE CHILDREN. [_In delighted chorus_.] Oh, mottoes!
PHILIP. Are those the silver mines?
COAST. No! Why?
[_Laughing and handing the mottoes around, while_ GEORGIANA _cuts the cake._
PHILIP. I heard grandma say the other day, you had pockets full of silver mines.
GEORGIANA. The cake's ready!
[_All take a piece of cake. The children line up and down Centre from Right to Left:_ ELAINE, TOOTS, PHILIP, CHRISTOPHER.
COAST. Your motto!
[_Handing one to_ GEORGIANA.
GEORGIANA. One for me too! Oh, thank you!
COAST. Certainly, because I want a bit of cake. I'm after that ring.
[_Goes up back of table for cake._
GEORGIANA. Don't anybody swallow the ring.
[_All eat the cake and now speak with their mouths full._
CHRISTOPHER. I haven't got it yet, Auntie.
ELAINE. Nor I.
GEORGIANA. Don't talk. Everybody eat till some one gets it!
TOOTS. [_Crying._] I can't eat my cake! I can't eat my cake!
GEORGIANA. Why not, dear?
TOOTS. 'Cause I haven't got no place! I haven't got no place to put it!
[_Crying._
PHILIP. He's full up!
GEORGIANA. Never mind, Toots, dear, you shall have a piece for supper.
TOOTS. Will I have room then?
CHRISTOPHER. [_A sudden loud and frightened cry._] Oh! Oh!
ALL. What's the matter?
[_All gather around_ CHRISTOPHER.
GEORGIANA. [_Frightened._] What is it, Chris?
CHRISTOPHER. [_Screaming._] Oh!
GEORGIANA. What is it, dear?
CHRISTOPHER. I've swallowed it!
ALL. What?
CHRISTOPHER. I've swallowed the ring!
ELAINE. That isn't fair!
PHILIP. Just like Chris, 'fraid some one else'd get it.
GEORGIANA. No, Chris, dear! [_To_ COAST.] What will we do?
COAST. Chris has made a mistake, here is the ring! [_Finding it in his own piece of cake._] There weren't two, were there?
GEORGIANA. No, that's the one!
CHRISTOPHER. [_Smiling and greatly relieved._] Oh! I guess I 'magined it, then.
GEORGIANA. [_Affectionately pretending to shake him._] Well, young man, you can imagine yourself spanked for giving us all a fright. Now, come along, the mottoes. [_To_ COAST.] Of course the ring wasn't meant for you. What are you going to do with it?
COAST. Keep it.
GEORGIANA. No, you mustn't; it's the children's!
COAST. Philip, may I keep the ring?
PHILIP. [_On the hobby horse._] Yes, sir.
COAST. And I'll give each one of you a ring in place of it. What kind will you have, Elaine?
[_He makes movement towards each child as he asks the question._
ELAINE. One big pearl with two great big rubies.
GEORGIANA. Mercy! Small order!
COAST. Very well. And you, Phil?
PHILIP. I don't want any ring. I want a watch and chain.
COAST. Good! And you, Chris, do you want a ring?
CHRISTOPHER. I want a gun!
COAST. All right. [_Writing._] And Toots?
TOOTS. Nanny goat!
[_They all laugh._ MOLES _and_ FOOTMAN _enter, answering the bell which_ GEORGIANA _has rung._
GEORGIANA. The table, Moles.
MOLES. Yes, ma'am.
[_Takes away small plates, etc.; he then goes out Right, followed by_ FOOTMAN, _who takes everything else from the table, leaving only the cover and a false nose left from the mottoes._
PHILIP. [_Crosses to_ GEORGIANA _at table._] Grandma's been up and said we were all to go and see mamma.
GEORGIANA. Go in your mottoes; that will be great fun!
ALL THE CHILDREN. Oh, yes! Hurrah!
[_Running off Left._
GEORGIANA. Ssh! Don't shout so; remember poor mamma's headache!
[_All repeat, "Remember poor mamma's headache" and take hands as they tip-toe out,_ PHILIP _first,_ ELAINE _second_, CHRIS _third_, TOOTS _fourth, repeating "Poor mamma's headache" in a whisper till they are all out._
COAST. I can't get this damned thing on. Too bad Cousin Loo's ill.
GEORGIANA. Oh, she isn't really. Louise is never perfectly well and happy unless she has something the matter with her, especially if she has nothing else to do; she's bored to-day, so she's got a headache! To-night, when there's a big ball to which she is not invited, she'll be frightfully alarmed about herself for fear of appendicitis, but to-morrow, when we have smart company at luncheon, she'll recover like a shot! It's all right for Louise, but it's hard on my brother, who really adores her.
[_She sits beside the table._
COAST. Adores! Say! That's the word I want to use about you!
[_Follows_ GEORGIANA _to table, moves chair to front, and sits._
GEORGIANA. Nonsense, Sam! Do you know anything about some stocks called United Copper?
COAST. Rotten! Don't touch it!
GEORGIANA. My brother had a tip this morning on United Copper and wanted me to give him some money to put in it.
COAST. Listen! don't you do it.
GEORGIANA. I wish you'd use your influence with Steven to help him.
COAST. How?
GEORGIANA. You must know how mad he is over speculation? But perhaps you don't know that he has gone through all his own money, and, if she'll let him, he'll go through his wife's next. [_Smiling._] Then I suppose it would be my turn!
COAST. Why doesn't he keep out of it?
GEORGIANA. He can't, we must keep it out of him! Out of his blood!
COAST. There's only one way.
GEORGIANA. What?
COAST. Ruin him!
GEORGIANA. That's too anarchistic! You speculate.
COAST. But I always win!
GEORGIANA. Can't you teach him?
COAST. Listen, if I could do that, I'd be the richest man in the world before I got through.
GEORGIANA. Can't you give Steve a tip on some sure things?
COAST. There ain't any sure things.
GEORGIANA. Why, other friends of Steve are always "putting him on to something good."
COAST. And what happens?
GEORGIANA. [_Smiling distressfully._] Well, he does lose, usually.
COAST. I guess so!
GEORGIANA. But you must often have inside information.
COAST. And how much is that worth?
[_Takes up the false nose from table._
GEORGIANA. Well, it usually costs Steve all he has! But I thought you--
COAST. [_Interrupting._] Miss Georgiana, you see this false nose?
GEORGIANA. Yes.
COAST. [_Putting it on._] Well, now what do I look like?
GEORGIANA. [_Laughing._] I shouldn't like to say!
COAST. Exactly! Well, see? That's what I'd be if I believed in tips and "inside information." If a man gives your brother a good tip, let him drop it like hot lead. People with a real good tip ain't giving it away. There's never enough to divide up and go around,--not in this world,--and inside information that gets told to a lamb like your brother is too damned outside information for me!
[_He rises and moves away, half in irritation, half in humor._
GEORGIANA. Oh! Oh!
COAST. Pardon.
GEORGIANA. Are you as rich as people say?
COAST. Richer!
GEORGIANA. How did you get it?
COAST. I started my dough with a mine.
GEORGIANA. Why can't you put Steve into a mine?
COAST. [_Laughing._] What's the use? he'll lose everything just as quick in Wall Street.
GEORGIANA. But I mean a good mine.
COAST. [_Coming back to her._] Listen! I worked right in our mine with my father when I was only eight years old! That's why I ain't better educated--I worked for ten years there down in the dirt and muck!
GEORGIANA. [_Interrupting._] And silver!
COAST. [_Leaning on the back of the chair._] Yes, and silver. [_Laughs._] Father's out there working yet--don't have to now, but he likes it; he ain't comfortable on top of the earth--says there's too much room. If father'd been a man like Mackay, I guess he'd been just as rich as him to-day.
GEORGIANA. And still you won't help Steve?
COAST. T'ain't business. [_He puts back his chair and leans toward_ GEORGIANA, _hand on table._] If helping him, mind you, would get you, I might take it on. [_Humorously._] I'd pay even the price of Steve to buy you.
GEORGIANA. [_Taking the false nose and putting it on._] Well, I'm not for sale. [_Rises._] But I would like to dispose of Steven.
COAST. Go on, please take that blame thing off.
[_Follows_ GEORGIANA _across the room to the Left._
GEORGIANA. No, I like it! You must understand this about my brother. [_Taking off the nose._] He is the dearest, best fellow in the world! kind-hearted and wouldn't do a thing that wasn't straightforward in business.
COAST. But you've got to be tricky if you want to succeed in our business. I don't mind telling you right out between us, I'm tricky!
GEORGIANA. I'm sorry to hear it.
COAST. Louise was a pretty good liar when she was a kid. She ought to help her husband along a little.
GEORGIANA. That's just it! if Steve had the right sort of wife,--but all Louise wants is social position and more money.
[_She sits on the hobby horse, amusedly._]
COAST. If Louise was like you!
[GEORGIANA _puts the nose on quickly and rocks._
GEORGIANA. Heaven forbid! The only trouble with Steve is he's weak. He'd have been all right if he'd been a girl--or married to a president of Sorosis, or a daughter of the Present Revolution!
COAST. Miss Georgiana, take off that nose and let me ask you something.
GEORGIANA. Not at all, my dear Sammy. I know what it is you want to ask me! I'm much obliged and I won't.
COAST. You won't marry me!
GEORGIANA. No!
COAST. Why not?
GEORGIANA. Because I don't love you.
COAST. Who do you love?
GEORGIANA. That's not your business!
COAST. Do you love any one?
GEORGIANA. [_After a moment's hesitation, lies._] No!
COAST. [_With insinuation._] Why don't you get Dick Coleman to help Steven?
GEORGIANA. [_Taking off the nose._] Why do you ask me that now in that way?
COAST. Information!
GEORGIANA. Dick's a lawyer. What could he do for Steven?
COAST. That's not the information I wanted.
GEORGIANA. But it's all the information you'll get!
[_Gets off the hobby horse and comes down a little._
COAST. [_Follows her._] Georgiana, marry me, and I'll look after Steven all the rest of his life.
GEORGIANA. Sammy, you don't want me to marry you if I don't love you.
COAST. Yes, I do. Listen! I'd risk your not loving me; there's nothing on God's earth I wouldn't do to make you love me.
GEORGIANA. That's the trouble with you men, you think you can make a woman love you whether she wants to or not, but you can't!--neither can you keep her from loving you if she does, whether she wants to or not.
[_Throws nose away; crossing to the Left, sits in the rocking chair there._
COAST. I'd give you everything!
GEORGIANA. That you can buy!
COAST. Do you mean that you'd rather be dead poor than marry me?
GEORGIANA. No, I don't say that! When I've lost everything and Steven and Louise are bankrupt, and we haven't a penny--
COAST. Yes!
GEORGIANA. I might--I say I might--
COAST. Honest!
GEORGIANA. [_Laughing._] Oh, dear, no!
COAST. I take you at your word, anyhow.
[_The children's voices are heard._
CHILDREN. [_Off Left._] Come on back to our room and have some more fun.
GEORGIANA. Sh! Here come the children.
[_Rises._
COAST. Damn the children!
GEORGIANA. Sam!
[_She puts finger up,_ COAST _kisses it._
COAST. Pardon! But I don't give up! Understand--I'm going to marry you!
GEORGIANA. [_Teasing him._] When? When?
[_The children rush in screaming._
THE CHILDREN. Aunt Georgiana! Here's papa! Here's papa!
[_And_ STEVEN CARLEY _enters Left. He is a slender, smooth-shaven, young-old looking man, his voice and body almost vibrating with nerve; a personality that so often appeals to the tenderness in women, while it irritates men. He brings his hat and coat with him._
STEVEN. Hello, Sam!
COAST. Morning!
STEVEN. Many happy returns, Georgy.
GEORGIANA. Oh, no, thank you! It's not for me yet, thank goodness!
PHILIP. Now let's play hide and seek.
THE CHILDREN. Hide and seek!
LIZZIE. [_Entering Left._] Excuse me, please. Mrs. Jackson's maid is here for Miss Elaine.
PHILIP. Oh, pshaw!
CHRISTOPHER. Don't you go!
ELAINE. Oh, yes, I must! I'm sorry! [_She goes up stage with great diffidence to_ STEVEN _and shakes his hand as she curtseys.]_ Good-by, sir. [_To_ COAST _also._] Good-by, sir. [_To_ GEORGIANA.] Good-by, ma'am, I've had a perfectly lovely time. [_Aside to_ GEORGIANA.] Phil is my beau, but I like Mr. Coast awfully much too!
GEORGIANA. [_Laughing._] You're beginning early! Come along, children, we'll take Elaine down. Excuse me, everybody, please.
PHILIP. If you've got any good tips, papa, save some for little brother.
[_The children go out Left with_ GEORGIANA.
STEVEN. [_Putting his hat and coat down on the sofa._] He's on to his father early! Sam, any news?
COAST. No.
STEVEN. I've heard of a big thing, an absolutely straight tip,--inside information.
COAST. [_Sitting in the rocker._] Well, don't tell it, or you'll spoil it.
STEVEN. The women are so down on my speculating, Georgiana especially.
[_Sits on the table._
COAST. What do the women folks know about business? Why don't you keep what you do to yourself?
STEVEN. But you see my money's all gone, and I need more--only to recoup with.
COAST. [_After a slight pause._] As I remember, you can do what you like with Louise's money.
STEVEN. But is it right?
COAST. You're too blamed afraid, that's why you always lose.
STEVEN. [_Walking up and down._] I know it. And this is the biggest chance I've had yet. If I dared risk it, I'm sure I could make a fortune! Not in words! I know what I'm talking about, Sam. Louise would have everything she wanted--and the way she'd live then! She could drop the social chip off her shoulders, go anywhere, and receive everybody.
[_Standing beside the table, he eats a little cake._
COAST. Well?
STEVEN. Do you advise me to risk it?
COAST. [_Pretending indifference._] What?
STEVEN. Louise's money?
COAST. I ain't advising anything. If it went wrong, you'd blame me to the women.
STEVEN. Is that the kind of a man I am?
COAST. [_Rises and goes to Steven and slaps him on the back._] No, Steve, I take it back. You take a licking better'n any feller I ever saw.
STEVEN. Experience! But this thing can't go wrong! The man who told me is the head and--I told Georgiana--didn't she give you a hint?
COAST. [_After a slight pause._] No.
[_Turns up to the window and stands there with his back to Steven._
STEVEN. My tip's a great one--safe! Now, shall I take it?
COAST. Of course, when I feel as you do about a thing, I do it.
STEVEN. And by George, I will too!
COAST. Why not?
[_Turning and facing him._
STEVEN. Yes! what I make's for Louise, not for myself.
COAST. I wouldn't say anything to Louise about it.
[_Comes down a little._
STEVEN. No, she'd be sure to talk it over with Georgiana.
[_He sits by the table._
COAST. And, say, not a word, you know, about me in all this.
STEVEN. I give you my word, Sam.
COAST. Why not let the old lady in, too, Aunt Laura, if it's such a good thing?
[_He gives a side look at_ STEVEN.
STEVEN. Didn't they tell you?
COAST. What?
STEVEN. I put mother into East Mexicos!
COAST. Gee!
[_Whistles, crosses to the sofa Right, and sits on_ GEORGIANA'S _furs; jumps up quickly, moves the furs, and then sits again._
STEVEN. That was an extraordinary thing. No one knows how it happened, but she lost every cent.
COAST. But--
STEVEN. Dear old Georgiana pays the interest for me, and the old lady doesn't know.
COAST. Georgiana's a damn fine girl.
STEVEN. She is! I'll pay her back out of this coup, too, another good thing.
COAST. Fine!
STEVEN. I believe I'll go back down town now.
[_Both rise and go Left as_ MOLES _comes in._
COAST. All right. Come on, we'll go together.
STEVEN. Good!
MOLES. Please, sir, may I speak to you a minute, Mr. Carley?
COAST. I'll wait downstairs, Steve.
[_He goes out Left._
STEVEN. Yes, Moles?
MOLES. The champagne is out, sir.
STEVEN. Order another case.
MOLES. I did, three days ago, over the telephone, and I called them up yesterday to ask about it, and they said your bill was so long outstanding they'd please like it settled before filling any future orders.
STEVEN. Tell Mrs. Carley; the household bills are her affair, aren't they?
MOLES. She says there is some mistake. She gave you a check for the wine bill last month, sir.
STEVEN. Did she? Oh, of course she did. It was the day I heard about Alabama Rails and I bought a couple on margin! They're down just now. The wine people must wait.
[_Dismissing him._
MOLES. But we've a big luncheon, sir, to-morrow and no wine.
STEVEN. Very well, then, I'll get Miss Georgiana to give you a check. I don't want to bother Mrs. Carley, she's got a headache.
MOLES. The wages are due, sir, and the trades books weren't settled last month.
STEVEN. Well, I'll attend to it all to-morrow or next day, Moles. Give me my coat, will you? [MOLES _gets the coat from the sofa and hands it to_ STEVEN.] I've been short of ready money for a little while, but things are looking up. By the way, you're a good sort; I'd like to do you a good turn. I happen to be on to something, Moles, on to something down in Wall Street. Would you like to make a little money?
MOLES. [_Brightening visibly._] Indeed and I would, sir. I've got two thousand three hundred and sixteen dollars in my savings bank, and I've heard of how these Wall Street magnums made fortunes out of less'n that.
STEVEN. I'll double it for you! You get it for me, Moles, and I'll make it into five or six thousand for you, sure!
MOLES. Thank you, sir!
STEVEN. [_Writes in note book._] I'll put in an order to buy for you the first thing in the morning; and you have your money down at my office by ten o'clock, can you?
MOLES. Yes, sir, I can get off in the morning. I can't thank you enough, sir!
STEVEN. Oh, that's all right,--we'll be a rich household here before we get through, Moles. They'll be telephoning us to please send in some orders for champagne!
[_Puts note-book away._
MOLES. Oh, don't trouble about these bills, sir. I can hold off the people a little longer, and I'll order the wine in another place.
STEVEN. That's a good boy, Moles, then I won't have to bother my sister.
MOLES. Yes, sir.
[_He goes out as_ GEORGIANA _and the children enter Left._
GEORGIANA. Here's papa! Come along, now, Steve, I've promised the children a game of hide and go seek!
STEVEN. All right, I knew father wanted to do something very much,--only couldn't think what. Of course, it was hide and seek!
GEORGIANA. Philip must be "it" first!
PHILIP. All right!
[PHILIP _goes into the corner Right, with his back to the others. All hide behind or under the different pieces of furniture_--GEORGIANA _under the table,_ TOOTS _back of the rocker,_ STEVEN _under the sofa, etc._
PHILIP. [_Impatient._] Are you ready?
[_Pause._
CHRISTOPHER. Not yet!
[_Getting behind curtains Centre window._
PHILIP. Now are you ready?
[LIZZIE _comes in Left, as soon as_ STEVEN _hides under sofa._
GEORGIANA. Not yet!
[_Getting under the table._
LIZZIE. Mr. Carley, please, sir!
STEVEN. [_Putting his head out from under the sofa._] Yes, Lizzie?
CHRISTOPHER. Don't turn round, Phil, it's only Lizzie. Wait!
LIZZIE. Excuse me, but Mr. Coast sent me upstairs to see--
STEVEN. Oh, by George, yes! [_Coming out from the sofa._] I forgot. I must go back down town.
PHILIP. Oh, pshaw!
[_About to turn._
GEORGIANA. Don't turn, Phil!
CHRISTOPHER. No, the rest of us is hid!
STEVEN. I'm sorry, children! Father'd a great deal rather play hide and seek, but he's got to go to work. It's just like when you'd rather play but have to study!
PHILIP. When I get growed, I shan't never do anything I don't want to.
GEORGIANA. Then you'd be the most wonderful person in the world, and they'd put you in wax in the Eden Musée!
STEVEN. [_Kissing_ PHIL, _then_ CHRIS, _then_ TOOTS.] Good-by, dears.
THE CHILDREN. [_Dolefully._] Good-by.
[STEVEN _crosses to the door Left._
GEORGIANA. Never mind, I'll finish with you. Don't turn around, Phil.
LIZZIE. [_At the door Left._] Beg pardon, sir, but Moles has been and told me what you was going to do for him, sir. Would you be considering it great impertinence if I asked you to take six hundred dollars what I've saved, sir, and do things with it?
STEVEN. Certainly, Lizzie, send it by Moles in the morning.
LIZZIE. [_Delighted._] Oh, thank you, sir!
STEVEN. I'm glad to do it; you've served us faithfully for some years now, Lizzie.
[_He goes out._
LIZZIE. He's gone, miss.
[_She goes out also._
GEORGIANA. [_Calls._] Ready!
[PHILIP _turns and looks about the room, then begins to look under things. He sees his_ AUNT GEORGIANA _first and is about to touch her, but she laughingly motions him not to and points out_ TOOTS'S _hiding place._
PHILIP. [_Finding_ TOOTS, _touches him._] You're it!
TOOTS. [_Very pleased._] I'm it! I'm it!
[_Jumps up and down._
CHRISTOPHER. [_Disappointed._] Somebody find me.
PHILIP. Oh, come on out from behind the curtain--you're--easy.
[CHRISTOPHER _comes out. Meanwhile_ COLEMAN _is heard calling, "Hello, Phil, Phil," outside as he comes up the stairs._
PHILIP. [_By the hobby horse._] It's Mr. Dick!
THE CHILDREN. It's Mr. Dick!
GEORGIANA. Oh!
[_Starts to get out from under the table, but_ COLEMAN _enters, so she crawls back._
[LIEUTENANT RICHARD COLEMAN _is a handsome, finely built man of about thirty-two. He is a West Pointer, is a good oarsman, a crack shot, and a good fellow all around. No finicking about him, no nerves. Just a sane, healthy, fine fellow._
DICK. Hello! Many happy returns, Phil. [_Shakes hands._] Where's your Aunt Georgiana! [_Silence._] Is she out?
PHIL. No, she's under the table!
CHRISTOPHER AND TOOTS. [_Delighted._] She's under the table! She's under the table!
DICK. [_Laughing._] What!
PHILIP. Hide and seek.
[DICK _looks under the table; he and_ GEORGIANA _laugh._
DICK. Good morning, are you at home?
GEORGIANA. [_Very embarrassed._] Oh, mercy! Do go away so I can get out!
DICK. [_Tremendously amused._] Come on out!
GEORGIANA. No! I can't with you there. [_Laughing_.] Please leave the room for just one minute!
DICK. Not if I know it! Come on out!
GEORGIANA. Not for worlds! Go away, please! [DICK _shakes his head "No."_] Then I shall never come out.
DICK. Ah, but that's hardly fair, because I want to talk to you comfortably.
GEORGIANA. Well, then, come on under!
DICK. Is there room?
GEORGIANA. A cable car conductor who knew his business could seat four more people in here.
DICK. Still--I think I'm more comfortable up here.
GEORGIANA. Selfish! Go on away! [DICK _shakes his head._] Children, if you love your auntie, go for Mr. Dick with all your might and main and push him into the hall.
[_The children shout and rush toward_ DICK; _they catch hold of him._
THE CHILDREN. Go away!
DICK. [_With mock ferocity._] The first child I get hold of I'll _spank_!
[_The children laugh and shout and run away from him to behind the table._
THE CHILDREN. Spank!
GEORGIANA. Ogre! Very well! After all, I'm not vain! It would take Barnum's human snake to get out of this gracefully, anyway!
[_Coming out, arranging her dress and hair._
DICK. Have some help?
GEORGIANA. No, thank you. But still, what a horrid person you are, aren't you?
[_They both laugh._
DICK. _You_ aren't!
GEORGIANA. O dear me! Making up now with a compliment! Well, what do you think of my birthday antics? Playing hide and seek--or, perhaps, trained elephants--doesn't interest you!
CHRISTOPHER. Lelephants! Oh, Auntie! Is the _circus_ coming?
[_The children give themselves up to transports._ PHIL _hugs_ TOOTS _and repeats "Circus."_
GEORGIANA. No, darling, but this circus is going--your old-maid aunt--to put herself to rights!
DICK. You couldn't improve on present appearances!
GEORGIANA. Really! Such fine speeches! But they don't go with your manners! Would you like to join in the game?
PHILIP. Oh, yes! Hurrah!
[_Runs to_ DICK, _when_ MRS. CARLEY _comes in from the Left._
MRS. CARLEY. Well! What's going on?
PHILIP. Birthdays!
MRS. CARLEY. Not for me!
GEORGIANA. Don't you want to play hide and go seek, mother?
MRS. CARLEY. I'm playing it all the time with old age! That's enough!
GEORGIANA. Well, excuse me, please, while I repair damages.
[_She goes out Right._
DICK. [_Calls._] Come back.
CHILDREN. [_Calling._] Come back!
MRS. CARLEY. I want the children for a few minutes.
THE CHILDREN. [_Disappointed._] Oh, Grannie!
[_She goes to children and drives them off Left ahead of her._
THE CHILDREN. Oh, Grandma!
MRS. CARLEY. Mrs. Vale is downstairs with the twins, to wish Phil many happy returns.
[_The children go out Left unwillingly._ MRS. CARLEY _comes back._
DICK. Going to spoil our game, Grandma?
MRS. CARLEY. Don't you grandma me! You're old enough for me to marry you.
DICK. Help!
MRS. CARLEY. Don't worry! Having lost two good husbands, I'm not going to risk losing a third.
DICK. I breathe freely once more.
MRS. CARLEY. I thought Sammy Coast was here.
DICK. Not since I came. He seems a clever chap!
MRS. CARLEY. We think so, and we hope so. He adores Georgiana.
DICK. Oh!
MRS. CARLEY. Huh! huh! [DICK _walks away._] What do you say to that match?
DICK. You don't mean?--
[_Turns to_ MRS. CARLEY.
MRS. CARLEY. Looks like it! It would be a fine thing for both of them. Sam could give her a fortune, and Georgiana give him a big position.
DICK. But--
MRS. CARLEY. He's crazy about her! Comes here every day--follows her like a dog.
DICK. But it isn't--
MRS. CARLEY. [_Interrupting._] Not yet, but we don't dare breathe! And we're on tiptoe for the final word.
DICK. What does Steven say?
MRS. CARLEY. Delighted, of course. [_Walks away a little._] I hope you haven't brought Steve any tips to-day.
DICK. [_Laughing._] No!
MRS. CARLEY. Thank goodness! He doesn't seem to have had any this week and the house has been fairly quiet! [GEORGIANA _comes back._] I must go to Mrs. Vale. [_Goes out._]
GEORGIANA. Mother looks pleased.
DICK. She's never very depressed, is she?
GEORGIANA. Yes, sometimes,--in the day-time! It's largely a matter of frocks and bonnets, and depends sometimes on the exact color of her hair.
DICK. I often wonder that you keep on living with Mrs. Carley and Louise. They can't help being beastly uncongenial to you.
GEORGIANA. But Mrs. Carley brought me up. She did her worst with the best intentions, and you mustn't forget Steve! [_She sits beside the table and_ DICK _leans against it to talk to her._] He's my own brother, you know, and I'm so afraid Louise will finally disillusion him and spoil his happiness. I'm standing on guard.
DICK. You think a lot of Steve.
GEORGIANA. I love him better than any one else in the world. [_She adds in a very low voice._] Almost!
[_A short pause._
DICK. Steve comes second!
[_Pause._
GEORGIANA. [_Low voice and looking away._] Perhaps.
DICK. I hope you don't mind my asking you these questions.
GEORGIANA. No, I like it.
DICK. I don't want you to tell me anything more than you care to.
GEORGIANA. [_Turning and half laughing._] That's very good of you.
DICK. But I _wish_ you'd tell me everything.
GEORGIANA. My dear Dick, there isn't anything more for me to tell.
DICK. Oh, very well, if you want to leave it that way.
[_Moving away._
GEORGIANA. Leave what?
DICK. I mean if that's all you want to tell me.
GEORGIANA. Why don't _you_ tell _me_ something.
DICK. That's what I've come to do.
GEORGIANA. Have you?
DICK. [_Turns and faces_ GEORGIANA.] Our regiment is ordered off to the Philippines.
GEORGIANA. Your regiment?
DICK. Yes.
GEORGIANA. [_Breathless._] Who's going?
DICK. Who? Why, we're going, of course.
GEORGIANA. All of you?
DICK. Yes, all of us. There are two insurrections on a couple of islands that must be put down, and they want some fresh men.
GEORGIANA. But it will be awful warfare out there, won't it, unfair, cruel, unlawful warfare?
DICK. I suppose that's what it's likely to be with the natives until we teach them a thorough lesson on every one of the infernal islands.
GEORGIANA. But--
[_Hesitates, rises; they are both in front of the table._
DICK. But what?
GEORGIANA. [_Pause._] But your business,--how can you leave your office?
DICK. There are plenty of people who'll be only too glad to take on my clients.
GEORGIANA. But when you come back?
DICK. If the worst comes to the worst, I'll have to begin all over again.
GEORGIANA. No! Don't go--Dick! Don't go!
DICK. Why not?
GEORGIANA. [_Humorously, to cover her emotion._] I don't want any one else to get your clients.
DICK. Oh, you were thinking of my career! That'll take care of itself if I come back--and if I don't--
GEORGIANA. Please!
DICK. They said we were a lot of dandies in the regiment, and that if it ever came to fighting, people'd see us back down!
GEORGIANA. But need you all go?
DICK. That's the glory of it! It's fine, Georgy. There isn't a single man who'll be left behind, not on any old excuse!
GEORGIANA. Splendid!
DICK. You do want me to go, then, don't you?
GEORGIANA. Yes, if it's like that, I want you to go--but--I want you to come back, too!
[_Almost breaking down._]
DICK. Hello! I believe you're crying.
GEORGIANA. I'm not!
DICK. [_Tenderly, scarcely believing._] Do you care so much as that, Georgy?
GEORGIANA. [_Proudly._] Of course I care!
DICK. It's funny, isn't it--think how long we've known each other.
GEORGIANA. [_Still with a choke and a tear._] I don't see why it's funny.
DICK. What I mean is, we're sentimental beasts--we people.
GEORGIANA. Thank you, I don't care for the way you put it.
DICK. [_Takes a long breath._] Well, I wish you joy, Georgiana.
GEORGIANA. Much obliged.
DICK. And good-by.
[_Shakes hands._
GEORGIANA. [_Rises._] Not now, for good.
DICK. [_Laughing._] Oh, no, we aren't off for ten days yet. But I wanted to tell my old pal first.
GEORGIANA. That was good of you. And you'll come in often before you go, won't you, Dick?
DICK. You bet! Every chance I get.
[_Both go up to the window. He has meant to go, but she manoeuvres him to the big seat instead._
GEORGIANA. And anything I can do for you?
[_She sits._
DICK. [_Sitting beside her._] Oh, I don't think there can be anything.
GEORGIANA. Oh, yes, there is always something women can do for men who go away to fight. They make things! Let me make something for you.
DICK. Can't think of anything. Got everything I want.
GEORGIANA. You're a lucky man to have everything you want--and going off to the Philippines with a jolly crowd of friends and glad you're going! I take back all my sympathy, and I wouldn't make you anything now if you asked me to.
DICK. And, by George, just when I'd thought of something.
GEORGIANA. What?
DICK. [_Laughing._] A court-plaster case!
GEORGIANA. You can buy one in a drug store.
DICK. I ought to have some present to carry in my breast pocket; don't you know bullets are always warded off that way?
GEORGIANA. Oh, that was in the old romantic days of the nineteenth century, and then it was a prayer book or a bunch of love letters. To-day it's much more apt to be a cigarette case!
[_The children run in, led by_ PHILIP.
PHILIP. They've gone! Hurrah! They've gone!
[GEORGIANA _and_ DICK _rise._
CHRISTOPHER. They've gone! They've gone!
[TOOTS _hangs on to_ DICK.
PHILIP. [_Taking hold of_ GEORGIANA.] Come on, now, our game, or we'll never have it!
CHRISTOPHER. Blindman's buff!
TOOTS. Yes, blindman's buff!
GEORGIANA. [_To_ DICK.] Are you game?
DICK. Just one round, and then I must be off. I'll be blindfolded.
[_Takes out his handkerchief._
TOOTS. I want to be blindfolded!
PHILIP. No! Let Mr. Dick!
DICK. [_Giving his handkerchief to_ GEORGIANA.] Will you blindfold me?
GEORGIANA. [_Binds his eyes._] To my faults?
DICK. That would be Love's Labour Lost.
GEORGIANA. How do you mean Love's Labour Lost?
PHILIP. Don't let him peek!
DICK. And whoever I catch, I kiss!
PHILIP. No, tell the name first!
DICK. No, I must play my own game, and that is to kiss her first, and tell the name afterwards!
GEORGIANA. Now, turn him around three times, Christopher. [CHRISTOPHER _does so, holding_ DICK _by the knees._] And keep away, everybody!
CHRISTOPHER. Ready!
[_All watch eagerly._ DICK _moves down stage, reaching his arms out as a blindfolded person does, but always with his arms too high to catch one of the children._
PHILIP. Put your arms lower!
CHRISTOPHER. Yes, you can only catch Aunt Georgiana that way!
[GEORGIANA, _happy, pinches_ CHRISTOPHER'S _arm playfully._ DICK _lowers his arms for a moment, but purposely catches no one. Then he lifts his arms a little towards_ GEORGIANA, _who cries out and moves, lifting_ TOOTS _on the table._ DICK _follows the sound of her voice and catches hold of_ TOOTS'S _head._
PHILIP. [_Excited._] Musn't move your hands!
DICK. Make her kiss me, then.
[GEORGIANA _leans over, holding_ TOOTS _to one side, and kisses_ DICK _herself._
PHILIP. [_Delighted, calls out._] Guess who! Guess who!
[GEORGIANA _motions to the children not to tell and moves away._
DICK. [_Hearing the voice from where he supposes the kiss came, he lakes off the bandage. He sees_ TOOTS _and is disappointed._] Why--I thought it was Georgiana! Toots! You rascal!
CHRISTOPHER. [_Trying to tell._] But Mr. Dick, Mr. Dick!
[TOOTS _laughs and claps hands._ GEORGIANA _gets hold of_ CHRISTOPHER _and holds her hand over his mouth._ GEORGIANA _and_ CHRISTOPHER _follow_ DICK _to the door Left._
GEORGIANA. [_To_ CHRISTOPHER, _to stop his telling._] Sh! [_To_ DICK.] Good-by!
DICK. Good-by!
TOOTS. [_Wanting to tell._] But--
PHILIP. Good-by! Good-by!
GEORGIANA. Good-by Dick! Come soon again!
DICK. To-morrow!
GEORGIANA. I'll wait in all day!
CHRISTOPHER. But Mr. Dick, it was--
[GEORGIANA _hushes him with her hand over his mouth._
GEORGIANA. Good-by!
DICK. Good-by!
[_He goes out Left._
CHRISTOPHER, PHILIP, AND TOOTS. Good-by!
[GEORGIANA _bursts into tears and hugs_ TOOTS _on top of the table._
CHRISTOPHER. But it was you, Aunt Georgiana!
GEORGIANA. Don't any of you tell on auntie! You won't, will you? Let auntie have her own way.
THE CURTAIN FALLS