Part 9

With this feeling within him, he laid himself out to please Lucy, anticipating her every want and devoting himself to her to an extent that caused Graeme's uxoriousness, as it was called, to become a byword, especially in Chillata, where connubial devotion was a somewhat unusual thing. Hector was far too desperately in earnest to care for the world's sneers; they didn't know what his object was, how should they? He redoubled his efforts, and now that a child was to be born to them strove with all his might to interest himself in the baby's coming--little liking as he had for children--for in the cultivation of such purely natural feelings as affection for wife and child, he realised dimly, could he hope to stifle the monster of whose existence he alone was aware.

Fortunately, or unfortunately, for her, Lucy knew nothing of all this. She was too sane and healthy-minded to be able to comprehend such a nature as her husband's, and with the curious fatality that had always marked her dealings with him, she now, instead of aiding, rather frustrated his efforts, and always, sadly enough, to her own undoing. It was not want of tact on her part, for of that quality Lucy had more than most, but simply that, being so normal herself, the comprehension of the abnormal was beyond her understanding; and, though touched and pleased with her husband's constant wish to be always with her, she yet fought against it, believing that he stayed solely to please her. With this idea in her mind, she was constantly urging him to leave her, and mix more with his kind; it was unnatural, she declared, for a man to wish to remain in the house all day with, at most, an hour's walk as his sole exercise. Of course, it was sweet of him to wish to be with her, and she appreciated the thought, but she would much rather he didn't; she could get on very well by herself, and he would always be home before dark.

Hector, driven in upon himself, would go off on long solitary rides--the worst thing for him--leaving Lucy happy in the consciousness of an unselfish action. How well she understood him, she thought, and what a dear he was. True, there was that one episode of the race-meeting--to which she owed the present state of her nerves--but even for that she had by now come to account. It had been an accident after all, she was certain, and Hector, to gratify his vanity, had made out it was intentional, and was hence naturally unable to feel the remorse, which she and Peter Carson, in their ignorance, had expected of him. Callous? Not he, why, every action of his since then had shown him to be the very reverse.

Gradually, braced by the clear Chillata air, and the prospect of a speedy return home, Lucy, though still feeble, had somewhat recovered, and with the arrival of her husband, on a quite unexpected two months' leave, was now almost happy. For the first two weeks after his coming she had been somewhat anxious, for talk in Chillata was almost exclusively of war, and the place thronged with applicants to be sent out to South Africa. Only too well did she realise Hector's vanity, and feared that he also, solely from a morbid disinclination to be left in the background, might in his turn apply; and she knew he would certainly succeed, as he always did, when those dreadful sudden fits of determination came upon him. It was therefore with a feeling of heartfelt relief that she saw him, apparently, in no way interested in the matter, though, had she known his mind, it is possible she would not have been so lighthearted on the subject, and would have been more than ever touched by a further proof of his devotion. For exactly what she had feared was in her husband's mind, and for that reason Hector avoided Chillata assemblies like the plague, refused to attend the theatre, despite Lucy's urgings, and, when obliged to pass that way, hurried by the Military Offices without a glance.

He was now, on this September morning, brooding over the subject, a crumpled copy of the _Pioneer_ in his hand, detailing some fresh disaster, which he felt bitterly, had he been in command, would have been no defeat, but a brilliant success. For a week without intermission it had rained steadily, rendering even the short morning and evening walks impossible; and day after day, night after night, the rain had poured drearily down, rattling on the corrugated iron of the roof, turning Lucy's small garden into a quagmire, and shrouding the surrounding hills and valleys with a pall of white vapour. Small streams had become torrents; hill paths running rivulets; while from weeping fir-tree and chestnut sounded the continuous drip of water on dank fern and rotting vegetation. As Hector looked and heard, a feeling of depression came over him, and with it that other self began to make itself heard. The longing came over him to be off at once to the Military Offices, send in his application, and go, for despite the constant refusal to others, he had no doubt of success, were he to apply.

"Three weeks more of this," he reflected, "then two months' idling in the plains, and after that home, a year's loafing again, while others are making names and passing me. It's that which galls me, being out of it, I who could leave them all if I chose. Oh, curse my folly of five years ago, impulsive fool that I was; I could have got out of it easily too, if only they hadn't opposed me. If they'd made it easy, I don't think somehow I'd have persisted. Oh, damnation take it, here am I, with the best wife in the world, regretting. Apply? Not I. Oh, thank God, here she is. Lucy dear," throwing down the paper, and hurrying forward to meet the pale ghost who now entered, "it's good to see you down so early. Here's your chair, I've got the cushions and everything ready for you. There," settling her comfortably and tucking the shawl round her feet, "now tell me how you feel, better?"

"Much better, Hector dear, thanks to you and the way you cheer me up. I'm afraid I'm rather a burden to you now, and so very plain and unattractive. You can't call me pretty, as you used to."

"Nonsense, Lucy, you're prettier than ever, and far more attractive to me now, naturally."

"Oh no, I'm not, Hector. You only say that because, because ... you're the best husband in the world, so different from most men to their wives. But isn't that the _Pioneer_, any news of the war?"

"I'm sure I don't know, Lucy; the war, as you know, doesn't interest me."

"But surely it ought to, besides, there are so many we know fighting out there. Oh, Hector, how thankful I am you're not one of those who volunteered. It would have broken my heart had you done so."

Hector turned sharply away, and walking to the window remained for a moment staring out into the mist.

"Lucy," he said suddenly, "why did you always oppose my retiring? I could have done so before the war started, now I can't."

"Because I didn't want to spoil your life, Hector. I want you to command your regiment, not settle down yet; you're too young. It was for your sake I refused. I should have loved it myself."

"And at the same time you don't want me to see active service," said Hector, with a somewhat justifiable show of irritation. "Can't you see, Lucy, that not being in this war will certainly prove a bar to my own or anybody else's chance of future command?"

"But you _have_ seen active service, Hector. Surely once is enough for any man, besides, you did so well then, everyone knows you ought to have got the V.C. Oh, by the way, I have meant to ask you for some time, do you know a---- Oh, bother, there's a caller, don't go. Hector, it's only Mrs. Swaine. How do you do, Mrs. Swaine?" to the lady who was ushered in by the bearer.

"So glad to find you in, Mrs. Graeme," said the new-comer. "I came round to ask whether you and your husband would care to come round to lunch to-day. Rather short notice, I'm afraid, but my nephew has just received orders for South Africa; he goes to-night, and I'm inviting a few friends to give him a send-off."

"Your nephew? oh, how dreadful for you, Mrs. Swaine, I'm so sorry."

"Oh, I don't know, after all, it's what soldiers are for, and Tom's really very fortunate to be selected. Everyone's applying nowadays, you know, and nearly all are refused. They only take the best men, and Tom, though he is my nephew, is very highly thought of at Headquarters."

"They'd like my husband to go, I know," said Lucy, up in arms at once, "he only has to apply."

"Oh, really? I didn't know they'd take married men. Sir Henry told me the other day they wouldn't. Anyway, I'm sure Captain Graeme wouldn't think of leaving you ... now," with an arch smile at the frowning Hector, "the thing's quite unthinkable. But about lunch, will you come?"

"Thank you very much, Mrs. Swaine, I should like to, but I'm afraid my husband----"

"Oh, I'll come," said Hector.

"Capital," said the lady. "Well, I must be off, I've got all sorts of things to see about. Good-bye, you two, so glad," and away trotted Mrs. Swaine, leaving silence behind her.

"Hector dear," said Lucy, after a pause, "you didn't mind what that woman said? She's a good soul really, only tactless."

"Not I," said Hector, "but you were saying something when she came in. You asked me if I knew----"

"Oh yes, General Quentin, such a curious person, Hector. They call him Golliwog here, and I should say he has about as much intelligence. Really, I don't think I ever met such a dull person in my life before."

"He's one of the few men I know, Lucy, whose opinion I respect. Also, he's the only fellow in the army from whom I ever learnt anything."

"Good gracious, Hector," said Lucy, surprised, for such commendation of a military superior was something very novel. "I didn't know you'd ever seen the man. Tell me about it."

"Oh, it was after that Mortlock affair, he spoke to me then, snubbed Schofield too--did it jolly well."

"That was nice of him, Hector, and of course I only saw him for a few minutes; he didn't even know my name. I'll tell you what we'll do, we'll invite him to dinner."

"Certainly not, Lucy," was the unexpected answer, "why, he's Adjutant-General."

"What does that matter? He'll come, and you must have somebody to talk to besides me, we'll ask him for to-morrow night; it's your birthday, you know, though I suppose you've forgotten that. Had you, Hector?"

"I had. I'm a fool about dates, as you know; but, Lucy, please don't ask Quentin."

"No, I won't please, I'm going to; you like him, and that's enough. Oh, look, Hector, the sun, a break in the rains at last. Now I'll write the note, and you shall take it; the ride will do you good, and you can meet me at the Swaines."

"Lucy, I'd much sooner stay here with you."

"No, I've got things to do, I must get on with my sewing, and I can't do that while you're here."

"Why not? I'm interested in that sewing. Oh, I do wish, Lucy, you'd let me know a little more about--about the infant. I really want to, and you never will talk about it."

"Of course not, such things are not for a man to know about. I intend to keep everything of that sort from you, dear. When he or she comes it will be different, but till then you mustn't ask questions."

"But, Lucy, can't you understand----?" began Hector.

"Perfectly, and it's sweet of you to be interested, or rather appear to be, for of course you're not really; no man could be in such details, and a woman would be a fool to expect it. Now go, like a good boy, and order the pony while I write the note."

She turned away and sat down at her writing-desk, leaving Hector standing looking at her, with a baffled expression on his face. For a moment he remained irresolute, then walked slowly away to order the pony, and presently returned to Lucy.

"Here's the letter, Hector," handing it to him. "You'd better go to the Military Offices, you'll find him there now; and I wonder, would you mind getting me some ribbons at Lace's when you pass?"

"Yes, I'll do that for you gladly, Lucy, but not the other."

Lucy looked at him, and then suddenly her eyes filled with tears.

"Very well, Hector. It's only a little thing I ask of you, but of course if you won't; and I understand, you--you'd rather your friend didn't see me like this. I--I know I'm dull and plain, but--but----"

"Give me the note, Lucy," said Hector quietly. "I'll take it, and enter the Military Offices for the first time since I've been here." He went out, and, mounting the pony, departed on his mission.

* * * * *

As Lucy had said, there was a break in the rains, and for a while the dense canopy of cloud burst asunder, and lay in sullen banked-up masses girdling the horizon. A blue sky glared overhead, from which shone a bright sun, its rays burning down on dripping tree and sodden ground, forcing from the latter a thick steam, odorous of damp earth, reeking fern, and rotting leaves.

The sound of running water filled the air, from the faint murmur of tiny rills, threading their way through emerald moss and tangled undergrowth, to the roar of swollen torrents thundering down the hillside on their way to parent streams below, faint gleams of silver appearing at intervals through the luxuriant vegetation clothing the valley depths. Beyond gleamed the mountains, no longer parched and bare as three weeks before, but clad in velvet green, veined with silver threads glittering in the sunlight, as they too danced on their way to the river below.

Graeme noticed none of these things, for the depression of the morning had now deepened to heavy gloom, and with it had come a sense of foreboding, the feeling of being driven on by destiny, which, struggle as he might, he was powerless to resist.

Two or three times, in obedience to a faint far-off and in some way strangely reproachful voice, he reined in his pony and paused, the inclination to return strong upon him, but then, cursing himself for an irresolute fool, he rode on. As he passed through the Mall, crowded with folk, who, like butterflies, had emerged from seclusion to desport themselves in the welcome sunshine, the feeling of foreboding grew, till, on reaching the Military Offices, so loud had the voice become that he then and there determined to obey it and return. Arriving at this decision, he experienced a sense of great relief; the cloud of gloom lifted from his mind, and, feeling strangely light-hearted, he was turning his horse about, when the animal suddenly stumbled, recovered himself, and then went on; but he was dead lame. "Picked up a stone," muttered his rider, and, dismounting, was proceeding to extract a sharp, three-cornered flint wedged between the frog and shoe, when a voice hailed him.

"Good morning, Graeme, what are you doing here?"

"Nothing," answered Hector, "a ride, that's all. Just going back. Curse this stone."

Captain Pushful, for that person it was, winked solemnly.

"'Nothing,'" he said, "'only a ride,' just so, that's what I'm here for, that's what we all come to the Offices for; it's no use, though, Golliwog won't see you, none of 'em will. I ought to know, for I've tried most of 'em. Going to have a go at his Excellency, though, this afternoon; we'll see what that will do. Another choking off, I suppose, but no matter."

"What on earth for?"

"Same old thing, to get out to South Africa. I'll do it yet, though, in spite of 'em all."--It may here be remarked that Captain Pushful was eventually sent out; De Boudoir, indeed, offered to pay his passage to get rid of him--"But surely you're not having a shot? It's no earthly use for you, believe me, you're married. He won't see you, I tell you," as, the stone extracted, Hector moved away.

"He certainly would, if I wanted him to," said Graeme, stopping; "but, as it happens, I don't."

"I'll bet you he doesn't."

"Oh, all right then, we'll see," and Hector, tying up his pony to the rails, mounted the steps leading to the Offices.

"Which way?" he asked; "d'you know?"

"Do I know," answered Pushful, with some scorn, "couldn't I draw a plan of the whole rotten place by now? You come with me; I'll have another try too. I'll ask him if he's got my application."

"Hang it, we can't both go."

"Oh yes, we can," and, regardless of Graeme's protests, Pushful led the way to the door of De Boudoir's room, and, without knocking, entered.

"Can I see----" began both simultaneously.

"No, you can't. Oh Lord, it's you again," said De Boudoir wrathfully, seeing Pushful, who had thrust himself ahead of Graeme. "By the Poker, but I'll have you out of this double quick," and, springing up, he seized Pushful, who was stealing past to the Adjutant-General's door, by the collar, and after a short but sharp struggle succeeded in putting him outside.

"And now for you," he began, turning to the other visitant. "It's no use, I tell you beforehand; the Chief won't see anyone. Oh, it's you, Graeme; I beg your pardon. I was just writing a note to you, asking you to come round. The General wants to see you. That door; go in quietly; he's a bit upset this morning."

Upon which Graeme knocked, and a testy "Come in" answering him, entered.

*CHAPTER IX*

"Well, what is it now," said Quentin, not looking up from his papers as Graeme entered, "and what the devil's all that row about? Damn it, De Boudoir, if you want to play 'Box and Cox,' you must find another.... Oh, good morning, Graeme; I didn't see it was you. Glad to meet you again. How are you?"

"All right, thank you, sir. I'm sorry to disturb you; I only came to----"

"Yes, yes, I know; I sent for you. Wait a minute, will you, till I've finished this letter, I've something to say to you. Sit down; smoke if you like; there are cigarettes."

Graeme took one from the box pushed towards him, and lighting it sat back in his chair and waited till the other had finished. What on earth, he wondered, could the Adjutant-General have to say to him? Surely it didn't mean that Colonel Schofield had already submitted his application for leave home, and it had arrived at Headquarters, only to be refused? Yes, that must be it, and Quentin had now sent for him to inform him of the fact. At the thought, Graeme was seized with anger, and he braced himself for fight. He wouldn't stand it, not he; he would speak his mind, and tell this Jack-in-office, Adjutant-General though he was, that he had made up his mind ...

Suddenly he became aware that the scratching of the pen had ceased, and that Quentin was regarding him with the same unwinking stare with which he had favoured him three years before at Fort Hussein.

"Have you ever met a Colonel Bradford, Graeme," he asked abruptly, "now commanding at Gurrumbad?"

"I think I have, sir; he dined with the regiment last manoeuvres," answered Graeme, his anger giving way to surprise at the unexpectedness of the question. What was the man driving at, he wondered.

"Does he know you?" was the next and equally abrupt query.

"I don't think so, sir, by sight possibly, but that's all."

"Hum ... pity."

A pause, then Quentin went on.

"He's one of the rising men, Graeme, one of the cleverest they ever had at the Staff College, they tell me; did well, too at last cold weather manoeuvres."

"Indeed, sir," muttered Graeme, his perplexity increasing.

"They've just given him the command of a brigade in South Africa, and he has written to me asking if I know of a"--a pause--"a suitable A.D.C."

Enlightenment at last, and with it the blood rushed to Hector's face. His forehead grew wet, and the room reeled before him. Far off he heard Quentin's voice continuing:

"It's a great chance, Graeme, for any soldier, and after consideration I've determined to offer the post to you."

"But, but ... sir, I'd give my soul to go, but----"

"You're thinking about the recommendation, I suppose, from your Colonel. He won't give it; is that what you mean?"

"No, he would not, sir," said Graeme, snatching at a straw.

"Hum, that's a pity, a very great pity. A Colonel's word, you know, Graeme, goes for a lot in these matters. Still, this is a purely personal appointment, and if I choose to take the risk of recommending you in spite of unfavourable reports, well, that's my lookout. And I'm prepared to take it, Graeme."

Silence.

"I'm prepared to take it, Captain Graeme," repeated Quentin, his eyes now like lamps. "What's the matter, aren't you well?"

"Yes, sir, only--only rather taken by surprise, sir."

"I hope you'll do me credit, Graeme."

"I--I'll try, sir. Thank you."

"I'm sure you will, and now I must ask you to leave me, I've got a good three hours' work here," laying his hand on the papers before him. "I'll wire to Bradford at once, and let you know his answer this afternoon; but I think I can tell you beforehand it will be all right. You'd better go home now and pack. Good-day."

"Good-day, sir," and Graeme stumbled out of the office and along the stone-flagged passage leading from it, till he found himself once more at the steps, on the top of which was seated Pushful, pensively smoking a pipe.

On seeing Hector he sprang up, with inquiry in his eye, but the other passed by unheeding. Declining an offer of his company in a manner that even Pushful recognised as final, he unhitched his pony from the rails, and rode off--Lucy, ribbons, and the Swaines' luncheon party completely forgotten. Arrived at home, he entered the house, and deaf to the bearer's offers of lunch went off to his room, where, locking the door, he flung himself down on the bed and tried to grasp the reality of what had happened. "I am going out to South Africa; to-morrow at this time I shall be gone," he repeated to himself for the hundredth time. But in vain--the words conveyed no meaning, and his thoughts wandered off into a confused labyrinth of trivial matters.

Finally, in desperation, he sprang up and hurried out to the garden, where for a time he walked up and down the sodden paths, and then gradually realisation came, and with it an intense feeling of remorse and unavailing regret. Oh, cursed unstable fool that he'd been, thus to allow himself to be driven into the very thing he had vowed to avoid. Where was his boasted strength, where the resolutions of the last three years? Gone, all gone. At a word from a stranger, he had betrayed the only being who loved him. From a weak-minded inability to refuse, he had accepted a thing for which he had not only no wish, but actual loathing, and brought misery on one whose only thought and wish were for his happiness. To leave her now, alone here amongst strangers, to get home as best she might, oh God! And, thoughts crowding thick upon Hector, he clenched his hands and cursed.

Then suddenly through the darkness shone a gleam, one of those that always come when the hour is blackest: the hope of the coup that haunts the ruined gambler; the dream of reprieve to the criminal on his way to the scaffold--false, always false, mere Will-o'-the-wisps, but clung to and believed in always. Perhaps he might not be sent after all, Quentin must have seen his disinclination, he had thought his manner cold when he said good-bye. No, he would choose someone else, someone who wanted to go, like that fool who was sitting on the Office steps--not him. Why, two hours had already elapsed since he left; if a wire had been coming it would have been here by this time, and Lucy ought to be back by now from the Swaines--good heavens, he had forgotten all about the luncheon party. Never mind, he would make it up to her, he would show her a devotion that would surprise even her, would make her so happy, and this time there should be no mistake. He had had his last lesson, and, once home, in would go his papers and ...

"Chitthi sahib, Faujdari dufta say aya,"[#] said a voice at his elbow, and looking round he saw his bearer holding out a salver on which lay a letter.

[#] "Letter from the Military Offices, sir."