PART III. treats of subjects relating to stamps not discussed in the two

preceding divisions, obliterations, surcharges, proofs, reprints, counterfeits, etc., together with an article on the _Universal Postal Union_ and another on the formation of an album.

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* * * * *

MAMMA. "Why, Harry, did your teacher send you home?"

HARRY. "Yes; she wanted to give me a set of books a fellow used last term, and I wouldn't take them, 'cause he got all there was to learn out of them."

* * * * *

TEACHER. "Why, George, John tells me you knocked him down. Did you?"

GEORGE (_happily remembering one of his lessons_). "No, marm; it was the force of gravitation that made him fall. I only pushed him."

* * * * *

FATHER. "Now, Tom, you should know how to defend yourself. You see, this is the first position, and so. Now don't be afraid; strike out with the gloves."

FATHER (_fifteen minutes later_). "Confound it, how was I to know he had been taking lessons at the school gymnasium."

* * * * *

PHILOSOPHY.

WALTER G. NICHOLS.

A puppy who had chased his tail Around the livelong day Quite unsuccessfully, was heard Unto his tail to say:

"I s'pose you think this quite a joke To lead me such a chase, And make me show my master now A disappointed face.

"But though this is for you more fun Than me, just wait a few More years, and then I'll be as good At 'wagging' as are you!"

* * * * *

A TIMELY QUESTION.

HORACE. "Father, why do they 'prefer charges' against policemen for acting improperly? Why don't they make 'em pay cash?"

* * * * *

Some years ago linemen were stringing a telegraph wire through a rural district, containing inhabitants that seldom came in contact with the outer world. A resident of the place, an old farmer, more curious than his neighbors, put many questions to the linemen, and after a while gained some confused ideas about its use, principally one, that the wire was put up to send messages on. Wishing to send his son John, who lived in the city, a pair of new boots, he thought it would be a cheap way of doing it to hang them on the wire--and this he did. Shortly after, a tramp coming along saw them there, and as they fitted him, he took them and left his own in their place. The next morning the old farmer seeing the tramp's shoes went about among the neighbors telling of the wonderful wire and how he had sent his son John the new boots, and John had not only got them, but had sent his old pair back.

* * * * *

TEACHER. "Tommy, how dare you waste your drawing-paper--covering it with ridiculous pictures?"

TOMMY. "I didn't need the paper to draw on, 'cause I was drawing on my imagination."

* * * * *

TEACHER. "Now suppose there were five boys going skating, and they had only three pairs of skates; how many boys would have to look on?"

BOY. "I know; the two that got the worst of the fight."

* * * * *

THE GREATEST OF THE LOT.

"I'm George Washington," said Kenniboy.

"I'm Napoleon Boneyparte," said Russell.

"I'm ME," said Francis.

End of Project Gutenberg's Harper's Round Table, November 12, 1895, by Various