Chapter 30

MORE SUNDAY THOUGHTS--IN MY ROOM--A TELEGRAM--IMPOSSIBILITIES-- INTERRUPTION.

_Happy Thought for Sunday._--Write down meditations. Like Marcus Aurelius did. Why not go in for _Sunday Books_? Telegraph to Popgood and Groolly (my publishers, who have been in treaty with me for two years about _Typ. Developments_), and say,

FROM ME, | Messrs. POPGOOD & GROOLLY, HAPPY THOUGHT HALL, | THE WORKS, HERTFORDSHIRE. | BOOKMAKERS' WALK, | FINSBURY, E.C.

Good notion for you. Sunday book. Nothing solemn. Lightly contemplative. Will you? Wire back.

Forgot it's Sunday, and no telegrams can be sent. Very absurd. Why shouldn't one want to send a telegram on Sunday equally as much as on Monday? Telegraphic people might arrange for holidays easily enough, by having small extra Sunday staff.

_Happy Thought._--Will commence my Meditations. Head them _Sunday Sayings_. No, they're _not_ sayings. Prefer alliterative title. Try _Sunday Sighs_. But they're not sighs. Try another, _Sunday Sermons_. No, they won't be sermons. Put down a lot of titles and see which I like. _Sunday Songs._ _Sobs for Sunday._ _Sunday Solids._ (This is something more like it.) Or a double title. _Sunday Solids and Sunday Suctions._ No; won't do.

_Happy Thought._--Write the meditations first, see what they come out like, and then give them a name. This will, so to speak, "suit my book," as to-morrow, with a name and everything cut and dried, I can write particulars to Popgood and Groolly.

For the nonce--(good word, by the way, "the nonce")--only it's always given me the idea of sounding like a vague part of the body, where one could be hit or knocked down. I mean it would never surprise me to hear that some one had met a man and hit him on the nonce. Result fatal.

_"He was not found for some days after, but there is no doubt that he was killed by a blow on the nonce."_

_Extract from local paper._

To resume:--

For the nonce, I will head them merely for my own personal information, "Sayings for Sunday."

_Happy Thought._--Good Hebdomadal Alliterative Series.

Sayings for Sundays. _1 Vol._

Mysteries for Mondays. _do._

Tales for Tuesdays. _do._

Wit for Wednesdays.

Themes for Thursdays.

Fun for Fridays.

Sonnets for Saturdays.

And then, all, in a monthly volume, as Medleys for the Month. I distinctly see Popgood and Groolly's rapid and colossal fortune. Then there'd be a quarterly. Why not _Quarterly Quips_? No, this is not sufficiently general. [N.B. Joke by a man on a treadmill might be termed a _Quip on a Crank_.]

_Happy Thought._--_Quantity and Quality, a Quarterly Quintessence._ _Quips, Quiddities, Quibbles, and Quirks_, by ... dear me, I want to say "ready writers"--that's the style of _nom de plume_ required.

_Plume_ is suggestive. I have it.

_Happy Thought._--"_Quick Quills._" Popgood's advertisement will say, "The above Quarterly by Quick Quills."

Now I'll begin.

Knock at the door. Mr. Orby Frimmely wants to know if I will stroll out with him and meet the Signor returning.

With pleasure. Leave the sayings for another Sunday.

We stroll.