Chapter 14

THE OLD, OLD STORY.

This is the springtime, when fancy lightly turns to thoughts of love and everybody wants to go a-soul-mating. Consequently my mail is leavened with letters from those who are unhappily married but who are sure they have got their eye on the One who from the foundation of the ion was intended for them. They all want to leave the old mis-mate and go to the new found soul mate, and they all want my advice and encouragement--to do it! Some of these writers have already left their husbands (?) and want to know whether or not they should go back, or go on. To one such I wrote the following letter, which I publish in the hope that it will help others to find and follow _themselves_. Here is the letter:

One thing at a time! Get off with the old love before you go fretting about a new one! Don't you think you are a silly girl to ask _anybody's_ advice as to whether or not you are to go back to your so-called husband? If _I_ know what _you_ ought to do I don't see what _you_ are worth to yourself or the universe. The truth is that YOU are the only person in creation who can make that decision. If you don't yet _know_ that you have a right to make your own life as you see fit; if you don't yet _know_ whether or not you could go back to him; then _be still_ until you _do_ know.

You know things today that you did not know yesterday, and tomorrow you will know things you "can't decide about" today. So attend strictly to business and keep still, and stiller yet, until you KNOW what is best to do.

Then DO it.

So much for the old love. As to the new one, not even _you_ can know for certain whether that other man would pan out the soul mate you now imagine him. But the Law of Love, or Attraction, will _prove_ whether or not he is what you think. _Your Own_ will come to you, and all creation can't hinder it--IF you keep that man was NOT what I longed for, a real comrade; sweet and cool, and free in your own mind, and make the best of THIS day as it comes along.

Ages ago I had a similar experience to yours. I found the only and original one intended for me. But I was tied to another man--NOT by a ceremony, for that ties nobody, but by my own conscience, which compelled me to "stand by" the man I thought "needed" me. So I stood, though I thought my heart was broken. In a few years I found that my soul mate was no mate at all!--I wouldn't have had him as a gracious gift! I felt like Ben Franklin who, as a barefooted boy, resolved that when he grew up and had pennies he would buy a stick of red striped peppermint candy; but when he grew up and had the pennies he didn't want the candy.

I have learned to smile at that experience as the bitterest and sweetest of my past life, and the source of volumes of wisdom. The _Law of Attraction knew_ and the Law kept him from me. I afterward found the real comrade, and _more_ than the joy I thought I had forever missed!

"We are pretty silly children, dearie, without the child's best quality, TRUST."

Just you _let go_ of everything and everybody and apply yourself to doing THIS hour, with _love_, what your _hands_ find to do; and trust the Law to bring you in due time ALL the good things you ever desired.

ACCEPT what comes as _from_ the Law; meet it kindly and do your best.

The time came when I left my husband and secured a divorce. This may be your time to leave, or it may not. But NO one can know but yourself, and you will know as soon as you really _want_ to know what is RIGHT, and get quiet enough to find the decision _about which you have no doubt_. "BLESSED is he that _doubteth_ not in that thing which he alloweth." "He that doubteth is _damned already_." When you are _sure_, then go ahead; and the whole universe, seen and unseen, will work together for you and with you.

What is it that ties you to one man and not to another? Not the words of a priest or a justice of the peace. It is _your thought_ about the matter, and _his_ thought about the matter, which ties you. You may not have thought you were tied until the preacher told you; but not his words but _your acceptance_ does the real tying.

If you are ever freed from a husband you must _think_ yourself free--just as you must think yourself free from any other bondage. I thought myself free several years before I applied for a legal separation; so that when I did apply it was to me merely a technicality.

Divorce or no divorce you are _tied_ to a man until you think yourself untied.

Be still and find your mental freedom. Then you will know what to do.

* * * * *

A year after I wrote the above letter to a young woman who wanted to leave her husband and go to her "soul mate," I received from her another letter in which she thanked me from her heart for my letter, which, she said, had saved her from a terrible mistake. She had let time try the new love; who was found sadly wanting. More than that she had come to love and respect her husband as never before. Many others, both men and women, have written me to the same effect.

Can you learn from the experiences of others--learn _caution_ at least? I hope so. Be _sure_ you are right before you resort to separation.

In the meantime make it the aspiration and business of your life to know _that_ ALL _things are_ NOW _working for good to you and your mate, and all you hold in common_.

Keep sweet, dearie, and _let_ them work--at least until you know exactly _what_ to do, and _how_ to do it; and can feel _sure_ in your heart of hearts that, _whatever the consequences_, you will never regret your action.

End of Project Gutenberg's Happiness and Marriage, by Elizabeth (Jones) Towne