ACT I.

SCENE.--_The Meadow. Music. A birthday party in honor of_ LITTLE MISS MUFFET, _who at the rise of the curtain is discovered on her tuffet, centre_. _Left, a number of baskets. Dance of the_ SIX LITTLE DAIRYMAIDS.

MUFFET (_when the dance is done_). That was a beautiful dance, dear friends. Thank you ever so much. I notice that the four-o’clocks at my feet are opening, so that it is time for our guests to arrive.

FIRST DAIRYMAID. How fortunate that there are no ugly black clouds in the sky!

MUFFET. Please, please do not use the word “black” any oftener than you cannot help. It reminds me of that horrible, crawly, eight-legged creature who lives in a--ugh!--in a web!

SECOND DAIRYMAID. Pardon me, Miss Muffet, but is it true that the Sp---- I mean that this creature dropped down from a tree the other day and asked you to be his Queen, and live in his--den?

MUFFET. Yes, yes, of course, it’s true; but change the subject, I beg of you. (_Enter_, _left_, FLY; _right_, CRICKET. _They advance toward_ MUFFET, _glowering angrily at each other. Each kisses a hand of_ MUFFET _at the same moment_.) I am so glad you could come, both of you.

FLY (_pointing at_ CRICKET). What is _he_ here for, I’d like to know?

CRICKET (_pointing at_ FLY). And what is _he_ here for, pray?

MUFFET. O, I do hope you won’t quarrel--to-day, especially. I think a great deal of you both; don’t I, Dairymaids?

DAIRYMAIDS. Of course you do!

FLY. That’s the worst news I could possibly hear, Miss Muffet. Do you mean to say that you like that plain black fellow better than you do me? Why, just look at my wings! I really think you might choose me as your King of the Meadow!

CRICKET. How can you listen to such talk, Miss Muffet? That Fly is nothing but a vain popinjay, strutting and buzzing around! _He_ can’t sing. I’m the right kind of King for you, every time!

FLY (_angrily_). Bzzzzzzzzzz!

CRICKET. There! Did you ever hear a more disagreeable racket?

MUFFET (_covering her face with her hands_). O, what shall I do? My birthday party is being spoiled!

DAIRYMAIDS (_covering their faces with their hands_). Yes, her party is being spoiled!

(CRICKET _and_ FLY _disdainfully fold their arms, and turn their backs on each other. Music. Enter, right, in a dignified manner_, WISE MOLE _and_ THREE FIELD-MICE. _They bow low before_ MISS MUFFET.)

MUFFET. How glad I am to see you, Wise Mole, and you dear counsellors, the Field-Mice! What should I do without you all to guide me when I get into trouble?

MOLE. You have evidently been weeping, my dear Queen--and on your birthday, too! What dreadful thing can have happened? (_Looking about uneasily._) Surely you have not seen the black Spider again?

MUFFET AND DAIRYMAIDS. O, no, no, no!

MOLE. Tell me about it, whatever it may be.

MUFFET. Why, I cannot make up my mind which I would prefer for a husband--the Cricket, or the Fly. One has a beautiful song; the other, beautiful wings. They are both angry, and insist on knowing which one shall sit upon the tuffet with me.

(MOLE _and_ FIELD-MICE _put their heads together_.)

MOLE. It is our opinion that the tuffet is not big enough for more than one person, so that neither the Fly nor the Cricket can claim your hand. Come, be friends! (_Putting the hands of the rivals together. They shake hands not very cordially, while the_ DAIRYMAIDS _applaud_.)

MUFFET. O goody--goody! Now we can go on in peace! (_Music. Enter, left_, RABBITS; _right_, FAIRIES. MUFFET _stands up on her tuffet, and kisses her hands to the newcomers_. CRICKET, _right_; FLY, _left_; MOLE _and_ FIELD-MICE _right of stage_.) Welcome to my meadow and my party!

DAIRYMAIDS. Welcome! Welcome!

(_Music. Dance of the_ FAIRIES _and the_ RABBITS. _The_ DAIRYMAIDS _stand in a row at rear, clapping time_.)

MUFFET (_seating herself when the dance is over_). Sit down, my dear guests, and have some of the curds and whey which the dear Dairymaids have provided.

(_Music. The_ DAIRYMAIDS _take out from their baskets, left, spoons, bowls, and jars of curds and whey. They serve_ MUFFET _first. Rumbling, thundering music._ SPIDER _lets himself down directly over_ MUFFET _by means of his “thread” (rope), and lands at side of Queen, whom he tries to embrace._ MUFFET _and all her guests jump up, screaming. Stampede, left._ SPIDER, _quite deserted, seats himself on the tuffet. Low music._)

SPIDER (_untying the “thread” from his body. The thread is drawn upward, out of sight_). I’ll have her yet! She’s a pretty little thing. I’m bound that she shall sit in my parlor and spin for me all day long! My web shall be the largest and silkiest in the wide world. I have no time for spinning. I would much rather be eating nice fat flies. I’m hungry for one at this moment. Ah, but I saw a dainty specimen standing at Miss Muffet’s side. Burrrrrooooo! I’m furious to think that the Queen and her guests have escaped me! (FAIRIES _peep out, laughing_.) Who dares to laugh at Me, the King of the Web? (_The_ FAIRIES _dart out on stage, right_.)

FIRST ELF. You’re it for tag, Spider, old boy!

(_Exeunt_ FAIRIES, _right_. SPIDER _gives chase. Enter cautiously, left_, MUFFET _carrying her bowl of curds and whey, and_ FLY. MUFFET _seats herself on her tuffet, looking about fearfully_.)

MUFFET. Has the horrid thing really gone away?

FLY (_protectingly, but stammering with fright_). Of c-c-course, Miss Muffet, I-I will pro-protect you. (_He tries to sit on the tuffet._)

MUFFET. No, my dear Fly, there is room for only one on the tuffet, you know.

FLY. How can I show my great love for you, my Queen of the Meadow?

MUFFET. By slaying the wicked black Spider, who has devoured so many of your relatives, to say nothing of dragon-flies, caterpillars, and--crickets.

FLY (_drawing his dagger_). I’ll give battle to the monster at once! I’ll slay him single-handed, and wrap him up like a mummy in his own web! Farewell! (_Music._ FLY _kisses the hand of_ MUFFET. _Exit_ FLY, _right_. MUFFET _goes on eating her curds and whey_.)

CURTAIN.