Part 9

The automobilist who has invited one or more ladies to go out with him stops for them in his car. Arrived at their dwelling, he asks to have them informed that the car is there, and waits for them in the reception or drawing-room. He assists his guests to enter the car, and wraps the robe carefully around them, tucking it in at the sides. In winter, plenty of fur or heavy woolen robes should be provided. In summer lighter ones will suffice, with linen covers to protect the dresses from the dust. For an open car, it is well to have several pairs of goggles of different kinds on hand, and to offer these to the guests if a long trip is contemplated or if the roads are dusty. The host asks whether the ladies would like the windows open or closed, and the wind-shield up or down. In the course of the trip he repeats these inquiries, especially if there is a strong breeze blowing, or if a change occurs in the weather. Having made sure that his guests are comfortably settled, he climbs in and takes his place. While the tonneau, or main body of the automobile, is held to be the place of honor, because it is less exposed than the front seats, the latter are really more comfortable in many cars because the motion is less felt there. Hence if the host is driving himself, he will ask whether any of his guests would like to sit beside him. Some young lady will probably prefer to do so, unless he is a very tiresome person. A good driver does not go too fast, and proceeds with caution over the rough places, in order not to shake up the occupants of the car.

The host decides in what direction the trip shall be, although he may very properly ask whether his guests would like to go there. If requested to do so, the latter are at liberty to express their choice. A courteous person does not insist, however, on being taken in any special direction. Where the proposed trip is a long one, and the guest has a later engagement, he should say frankly: “I should enjoy very much going to ——, but I fear there will not be time, as I have promised to be down-town at five o’clock.”

If the excursion is to be an all-day or overnight affair, it is usually arranged beforehand. When the owner of the car invites the party to go with him at his expense and makes this evident by saying explicitly, “I want you all to be my guests for the trip,” he pays the hotel bill and all other costs. He acts as host just as he would in his own house, ordering the meals and naming the hours when they shall be served. He should inquire whether any of the party would like to have breakfast served in their own rooms. He plans the whole trip and lays out the course to be traversed each day.

There are some circumstances, however, under which the automobilist may very properly offer only a limited hospitality to his guests. Thus, it may happen that a number of friends all wish to go to see a football game or other athletic contest in a neighboring town. If one of the number then offers to take them there in his car, it is understood of course that his hospitality extends only to the means of transportation. All procure their tickets beforehand, and the expense of the entertainment at the hotel is divided among them. When one is doubtful on which plan the trip is to be conducted, one should by all means endeavor to pay one’s share. It is best in a case of this sort for a single individual to speak for the rest. He can say when the time comes for payment, “You must let us know, John, what our share of the hotel bill is.” Or it could be proposed beforehand that one of the number should act as treasurer. This is an ungrateful office to fill, since some one is apt to forget to pay, and dunning friends is an unpleasant task. The man selected should not be the host, who may be thought to have done his share. He should, however, be the richest man of the party; first, because it will be easier for him than for his poorer comrades to bear any loss should there be one; second, because in nine cases out of ten rich people care more about money than poor ones; third, because they are more accustomed to making financial arrangements. Hence the job of collecting is less difficult for them. A guest should embark on a motor-trip with the intention of having a good time and enjoying all that there is to be enjoyed. He should be prepared to take any delay or mishap with cheerful philosophy. A man or a woman who possesses the true spirit of sport will not sulk or complain if the tire bursts or the engine for some mysterious reason refuses to work. All complicated machinery is liable to accident, and if one enjoys all the advantages of very rapid motion, one must expect from time to time to experience the drawbacks. Neither should one take it in dudgeon if rain comes on. The host cannot be expected to insure good weather. A guest sitting in the rear must not talk to the driver. The latter must constantly watch the road, and cannot turn his head to speak to any one behind him without risk of accident.

The automobile practically annihilates distance, thus greatly increasing the number of places which can be readily reached from any given spot. A picnic to which the company go in motor-cars may be ten, twenty, or more miles away. If many people are to take part in it, the site must be selected with great care. When half a dozen friends go off for a frolic, it does not so much matter what sort of place they choose, because if it does not come up to their expectations they can eat their luncheon without leaving the car. For a larger number all the arrangements should be carefully made in advance. A committee of one or more should visit the chosen spot beforehand, and get the owner’s permission to hold the picnic there. It is very sad for a party of friends on pleasure bent to be warned off the grounds just as they have their whole luncheon unpacked and spread out on the grass. Yet this frequently happens at places in the neighborhood of summer resorts. The city visitor, misled by the uncultivated aspect of some beautiful spot, fails to realize that it is private property, and that the owners may find it extremely inconvenient to have their premises constantly invaded and their privacy destroyed. Some owners are willing to allow picknickers to come to their places, provided permission is obtained beforehand, the débris removed, and no damage done to the trees and shrubs. The vandalism of certain summer visitors is hardly believable. They will calmly leave the unsightly and unwholesome remains of their repast lying about to offend the eyes and nostrils of later comers and to breed flies. Farmers and others sometimes make a regular charge for letting their grounds for the day.

Our committee of one should choose a spot where the grass is not too long, and should find out whether there is any danger of an incursion by cattle. It is very desirable to select a place near shade-trees. Luncheon-baskets furnished with knives, forks, etc., can now be readily purchased. Cold water, fruit-punch, or lemonade and hot coffee may be conveniently transported in Thermos bottles. Some people carry chafing-dishes and prepare scrambled eggs, mushrooms, or Welsh rarebit on the spot. It is usual to have every one contribute some article to the bill of fare at a picnic. In order that there shall not be a surplus of one article and a shortage of another, the persons or committee who get up the affair should arrange with each individual or party what they shall bring. If there are tables at the appointed rendezvous, cold ham, chickens, etc., may be brought whole. If the cloth is to be spread upon the grass, the carving should all be done beforehand. The idea of a picnic is that it shall be a more or less unceremonious occasion, yet care must be taken that informality does not degenerate into slovenly disorder. The food should all be done up neatly and daintily, napkins of paper, if not of linen, should be provided, also knives and forks and spoons where these will be needed.

The best results are secured by deputing two or more persons to arrange the table, instead of intrusting this task to the whole company. When the feast is ready the gentlemen pass the dishes to the ladies, but it is a part of the fun to have the latter assist in the work. If there are older people present, they are asked to sit still and be waited upon. At formal picnics the table is arranged and the food set out by servants. Impromptu vaudeville, charades, tableaux, or songs with guitar accompaniment make a pleasant ending to the affair, where time permits. Dancing has always been popular on these occasions. They are often held at some place of resort which boasts a hall or open-air platform for the dancers.

In dressing for a trip in a motor-car, a woman should wear a small, close-fitting hat or an automobile bonnet. This and the large veil covering it should be securely fastened down, so that there will be no danger of their blowing away. All superfluous ribbons and streamers should be avoided for the same reason. A dust-cloak of linen or pongee is a great protection in summer. As such a garment affords little warmth, the tourist should provide herself with a cloth coat also. Men wear small caps and dusters or light overcoats. Since there is little room for luggage on a car, a guest who is invited to go for a tour should take as little as possible, packing it in a suit-case or bag, or small automobile trunk, if she has received permission to carry one. Since motoring is extremely dusty business, it is well to take a change of costume to wear in the evening, if this is to be spent at an inn. Foulards and India silks are excellent for this purpose, as they weigh so little and are not easily creased or tumbled. If one has not space for an entire gown, a dressy waist should be carried.

The craze for motoring has developed many wayside inns scattered along the routes most frequented by tourists. Some of these are ancient hostelries, or reproductions of the same, charmingly furnished in ye olden style. Here travelers by automobile stop for lunch, afternoon tea, or dinner, or to spend the night. As inn-keepers sometimes charge the owners of motor-cars extortionate prices, those who wish to avoid great expense should carry lunch-baskets with them. They can then arrange an impromptu picnic by the wayside and so be independent of landlords, should the latter be unreasonable in their charges. Indeed, many people consider these wayside lunches part of the fun of a motor-trip. They start off for a tour of several days, equipped with a large basket containing plenty of provisions. Some picturesque spot is chosen for the daily picnic, the basket being replenished at shops or hotels _en route_, should this be necessary.

People who wish to go on a motor-trip in Europe now find it better to take over their own car and chauffeur, rather than to hire these on the other side of the water. It is necessary, however, to procure a permit allowing the party to cross from one country into another. Otherwise the traveler is subject to vexatious delays at the frontiers. The owner of a car must always remember that the chauffeur, like the passengers, requires food at regular intervals. Sometimes an allowance is made to him and he gets his meals where he likes; sometimes his employer arranges for his entertainment. As he is usually of a better class than the ordinary domestic, he is not willing to eat with the servants. He prefers to take his meals after his employer, but at the same table. If the latter is visiting at an expensive inn, and there are cheaper ones of a suitable character in the neighborhood, he may request his chauffeur to dine or spend the night at one of these, furnishing him with the money.

Instead of staying at an inn, the automobilist sometimes makes a visit to friends in the country. Where this is by invitation, the host entertains the chauffeur, or arranges to have him cared for in the neighborhood. As the touring party probably consists of two or three people in addition, such a visit, if prolonged, may readily become a tax on the hospitality of the host. Hence the stay should be limited to one or two nights, else it may become a “visitation.”

If a party of motorists stop to lunch or spend the night at a friend’s house without previous invitation, they should endeavor to provide for the entertainment of their chauffeur elsewhere, since it would hardly be courteous to put this additional strain on the hospitality of their host.

X

BRIDGE PARTIES AND EVENING RECEPTIONS

Arrangement of the Card-tables—Playing for Prizes—Good and Bad Manners at the Card-table—Why Certain People are not Asked—Duties of Hostess—Card Parties for Charity—Dress and Etiquette of Evening Receptions.

THE extreme popularity of bridge has somewhat lessened since the tango craze invaded society. Card-playing still has many devotees, however, and is likely to have them in the future, as in the past. When not carried on too strenuously, it affords a mild and gentle form of amusement that is especially valuable to elderly persons, or to younger ones of quiet tastes.

For a bridge party, card-tables and light chairs can be hired from furniture stores or caterers. Ordinary tables may be used, provided they are large enough to seat four persons comfortably, and not so large as to make it difficult to reach across them to gather up the tricks. It is now thought well to cover them with a cloth, although our grandparents used the bare mahogany, if we may judge by the tables that have come down to us. Hostesses who often give card parties will find it convenient to buy several tables. These may be covered with green baize or enamel cloth, or upholstered in silk or damask to match the room. In the latter case one should have white linen slips that can be taken off and washed every time they are used. Small, light chairs are preferred to heavy ones, and they must be of the right height. The hostess should measure her rooms beforehand, to see how many people she can accommodate comfortably.

Space must be left to pass between the tables, and these must not be placed too near steam-pipes or draughty windows. The drawing-rooms should be well ventilated before the guests arrive, yet not quite so cool as they would be for a dance. Should they become close in the course of the evening, the hostess should be careful not to open a window without warning those in the vicinity that she is about to do so, and so give them an opportunity of changing their seats. In a house furnished with electric lights, it is easy to have the rooms well lighted yet not overheated. Where it is necessary to use lamps or candles, their arrangement will require some care. They must be near enough the players to enable them to see, yet never set on the card-table itself. It is dangerous to place them on stands so small and light that they are liable to be upset.

All the paraphernalia used in the game, the playing-cards, scoring tablets or cards, counters, etc., must be fresh and in good condition. A pencil that refuses to write furnishes one of the peculiarly exasperating, though small, miseries of life. If many people are invited, new cards should be provided. For progressive euchre there must be punches and score-cards. The hostess asks some one to do the punching, or attends to it herself. At a large party she does not play unless it is necessary to fill an empty place.

Some persons think it no harm to play for money, provided the stakes are very small. The habit of gambling, which was introduced into society in this country not many years ago, has resulted in such scandals and so much evil that the wisest and safest way is to avoid it altogether. Even where there is playing for money, a hostess must provide one or more tables for those guests who object to it on principle. Good form and common sense alike demand this. Many people become so excited by the desire to win the prize or stakes of the evening that they treat one another with scanty politeness, and the unfortunate player who makes a mistake is often roundly scolded for her carelessness. During the card mania which prevailed at Newport a year or two ago, it was said that many people did not speak as they passed by, owing to quarrels over bridge. To give prizes that are very handsome and expensive is not considered to be in the best taste. The hostess should take pains to secure articles that are pretty and attractive, but not of great money value. It is also thought best not to show them until the playing is over.

Some people find it interesting to play nominally, but not actually, for money. A gentleman who took part in a series of games while crossing the Atlantic was relieved when the voyage was over to find that the ladies of the party construed all the financial obligations in a purely Pickwickian sense. The score was made out, but no payments were permitted. It need scarcely be said that a real debt at the gaming-table is held to be one of honor, for the simple reason that there is no legal obligation to pay it. To induce a young man or woman to play, and perhaps lose a large sum of money, may be thought a greater offense against honor.

Good form demands that all who take part in a game of cards shall pay strict attention to it and follow the rules. Not every one can win, but all should do their best. It is extremely annoying to devotees of bridge to be interrupted by conversation while the hands are being played. The great actress Charlotte Cushman once had her patience severely taxed by a gentleman who persisted in talking to her partner. Presently she said in her rich, deep voice, with great emphasis:

“_Remember, this is whist._”

The effect was startling, and the offender sinned no more, at least on that occasion.

If a player does her best, more cannot be expected of her. To find fault with one’s partner, asking her in an injured tone why she did not return a certain lead, or why she played that ace of hearts second hand, is decidedly bad form. We must always remember that among ladies and gentlemen card-playing should be considered as an amusement, serious if you will, but nevertheless a form of diversion and not a matter of business. Hence the well-bred woman loses neither her temper nor her philosophical spirit. She may wish to win, but her desire must not be so overwhelming as to make every one feel uncomfortable if she loses. If she destroys the pleasure of her neighbors by sulking, by snubbing or scolding her partner, she has only herself to thank if she is not invited to card parties. The habitual late-comer is also likely to be left out. The person who arrives after every one has begun to play, or who leaves before the games are over, interferes seriously with the pleasure of others. As we have said above, the hostess does not play when many persons are present, in order that she may be free to receive late-comers and to have a general supervision of the comfort and pleasure of her guests.

Bridge parties may be arranged for the afternoon or evening, or they may take place in connection with a luncheon or a dinner. In either of the latter cases it suffices to have lemonade or some other cooling drink handed to the guests as they sit at the card-table. Some hostesses offer sandwiches also, or give ices in the evening; others serve tea in the afternoon. Where guests are invited to the card party only, a light supper is served in the evening. Hostesses who expect to have bridge follow a dinner should either invite card-players only or else arrange for the entertainment of those who do not take part in the game. It is rather forlorn for a single couple to be left out in the cold when the players retire to another room and shut the doors to avoid being disturbed. The former, having no one save their hosts to talk to, soon take their leave.

Card parties are often used as a means of raising money for a charity, or for the work of a society. These may be given at a hotel, a woman’s club-house, or a private house. In the case last mentioned, the hostess throws open her rooms and provides the refreshments, or a part of them, as may be preferred. The members of the society may each bring a cake or some sandwiches, the lady of the house furnishing tea and chocolate. It is usually arranged to have several ladies buy a table apiece for a certain sum of money. If this is two dollars, they sell the single seats to their friends for fifty cents each, or invite the latter to come as their guests. They bring their own outfit—cards, score, and the light, collapsible tables that are easily carried; or these may be sent beforehand to the house of the hostess. Occasionally an enterprising member of the society brings some of her own handiwork and offers it for sale, thus netting an additional sum for the charitable enterprise.

Evening receptions, unless enlivened by some special attraction, are less popular now than in the earlier and simpler society of the Victorian era. One of their obvious advantages is that men can attend them, another is that they enable the hostess with limited space at her command to invite a number of guests who would overcrowd her rooms should she attempt to give a dance. The evening reception is a favorite form of entertainment for introducing a distinguished guest to a circle of friends. Certain hostesses in New York still receive on one evening in the week, and succeed in gathering in their drawing-rooms an interesting company of literary and artistic folk—people who know how to talk and who enjoy doing so. A bride and groom may conveniently issue cards for one or more evening receptions when they are settled in their new home. They thus make themselves known to new friends and renew acquaintance with old ones.

A reception in the evening is gayer than an affair in the daytime, yet it need not necessarily be formal. For a large and handsome function, engraved invitations in the names of both husband and wife are issued, the “At Home” form being ordinarily used. If it is in honor of distinguished guests, the phrase, “To meet Mr. and Mrs. —— ——” is added.

According to strict rule, the “At Home” formula does not require an answer. It is always polite, however, to send regrets if one is unable to attend the entertainment. For one or more informal receptions, the joint visiting-card of husband and wife may be used, with the words “At Home” and the date written in, the hours also (“9 to 11” in the city), if desired. The arrangements are the same as for any evening occasion. The central part of the drawing-rooms is cleared of furniture, and vases, small stands, or other articles liable to be knocked over are removed to some other part of the house. If the occasion is a large and stately one, potted plants or other floral decorations may adorn the rooms, while an orchestra composed of a few stringed instruments discourses sweet sounds behind a leafy trellis. A handsome supper is served in the dining-room during the greater part of the evening, since guests are supposed to come and go rather than to stay through a reception.

It is in perfectly good form, however, to receive in a much more simple fashion, in accordance with the customs of good society in continental Europe. It is not necessary to provide either music, elaborate floral decorations, or an expensive supper. In Italy, where evening receptions are a favorite form of entertainment, ladies of rank give their guests lemonade and biscuits, or sponge-cake and wine, or nothing at all! At an occasion of this sort husband and wife usually receive together, presenting all the company to the guest of honor, who stands beside them.