Part 3

Little dishes of olives, radishes, celery—_hors d’œuvres_, as they are called—small fancy cakes, bonbons, and fruit, either fresh or dried, add to the decorative effect. A salt-cellar and pepper-pot may be put at each place, at each corner of the table, or on the edge of the centerpiece or lunch-cloth, where it is sufficiently large to bring them within easy reach. A bread-and-butter plate, with miniature silver knife, is provided for each person. It should stand at the left, where two or three silver forks—as many as will be needed before the sweet course—are also placed. At the right there should be a goblet or tumbler, a napkin with a roll or piece of bread folded in it, and one or more knives as occasion may require. If the bones are left in the fish, a silver knife should be provided for it, and one is sometimes put on for the salad. Since at luncheon soup is eaten out of cups with two handles instead of from plates, a dessert-spoon or large teaspoon is set at the right or at the top of each place. If there is grape-fruit, a fruit-spoon or teaspoon will also be needed. One finger-roll, or two rolls if they are very small, may be put in each bread-and-butter plate, instead of in the napkin.

The serving of wine at luncheon is rapidly going out of fashion. A hostess belonging to the older generation sometimes offers her guests Rhine wine—a light, white wine—or, if there are men present, sherry or claret. In this case a wine-glass is set beside the water-goblet at the right of each place, and a decanter is placed on the sideboard. Wine-cup, fruit-punch, and similar beverages are served from a glass pitcher, lemonade cups or small tumblers being substituted for wine-glasses. Slender, narrow tumblers are also used for Apollinaris and other effervescent waters, which are often served instead of wine. At a formal lunch the service is all from the side-table, no dishes being set on the dinner-table with the exception of the ornamental ones mentioned above. At an informal luncheon or dinner, the carving may be done by the head of the house, in accordance with the pleasant old custom. Many people prefer this method, thinking it shows more hospitality than the service _à la Russe_.

An experienced waitress or butler can attend to the wants of six persons; but for a formal lunch-party it is usual to have the assistance of a second maid or man when half a dozen or more are present. In houses where there is much entertaining, the parlor-maid or chambermaid is expected to help the butler or waitress whenever the number of guests makes this desirable. In all large cities and in suburban towns of good size it is easy to hire a cook or a waitress for the day. The correct dress for the latter is a plain black-stuff dress, white apron with bretelles, a plain linen collar and cuffs. To this a little white cap is added, unless the maid objects to wearing it on the ground that it is too much like a livery. In a free and democratic country no man or woman should be obliged to wear the latter. That it is a badge of servitude, Thackeray long ago demonstrated in his inimitable manner. Where a butler is employed he wears morning costume at luncheon—that is to say, black coat and waistcoat, dark trousers, and black necktie.

The hostess should make out her bill of fare in good season, as some of the dishes—the soup, for instance—will need to be cooked on the day preceding the luncheon. A bride may be tempted by the alluring advertisements bidding her to “add hot water and serve.” The older matron knows that the stock prepared at home from fresh meat makes soup that is much superior to the ready-made article. In a large city one can procure many excellent dishes at the confectioner’s and pastry-cook’s. For a large buffet luncheon, as for a ball supper, the hostess should issue her order to some reliable firm of caterers. For a lunch-party of smaller size, she should endeavor to have the dishes cooked in her own kitchen. Almost every one now prefers home to hotel cooking, if the former is all that it should be. We should advise the young hostess, therefore, if she or her maid has a fair understanding of the culinary art, to have the main staples of her bill of fare prepared at home. Certain articles it is usual to order from the caterer, such as patty-shells and ices. Home-made ice-cream composed of real cream is the best of all, but it takes time and trouble to prepare. It is well to test the excellence of a recipe in the privacy of the family before offering it to guests.

The bill of fare for a luncheon is usually briefer now than formerly, the emphasis being laid on the quality of the food rather than on the quantity. Fruit, soup, fish, chicken or chops, salad, a sweet course, and coffee make a menu that is amply sufficient for most people. It may be extended by the addition of an entrée—sweetbreads creamed or mushrooms, perhaps—between the fish and the meat course. The fish may be omitted, or it may “suffer a sea-change” and become oyster soup. A delicious bill of fare recently offered at a lunch for six ladies consisted of grape-fruit, oyster soup, fricasseed chicken served with sweet potatoes and string-beans, lettuce salad, brandied peaches surrounded with whipped cream, coffee, little cakes, and candies. The bill of fare may be varied in a great many ways, and lengthened or shortened to suit the tastes and circumstances of the hostess and the season of the year. A lady entertaining two or three friends at lunch very informally could offer them simply two or three courses with coffee or chocolate. These would be soup, chicken or some other form of meat with vegetables, and a sweet dish. When the weather becomes warm in the spring, the soup would be replaced by salad served after the meat.

In summer cold dishes are popular, but it is always well to have one or more hot courses. Certain old-fashioned hostesses still serve tea at luncheon, pouring it out themselves, and perhaps making it at the table. The prevalence of the afternoon tea-drinking habit has resulted in banishing the “cup that cheers but does not inebriate” from the noonday meal in many houses.

The hostess wears a pretty house gown or street dress, as she prefers. She will choose the latter if she is going out as soon as her friends leave. She does not, however, wear a hat. The guests come in street or reception costume, brocades being much worn at the present time by older women. They are invited to leave their outer wraps in the hall, the reception-room on the ground floor, or up-stairs, as the hostess may find most convenient. They keep on hat and gloves, however, the latter being removed when they sit down at the table. These may be turned back at the wrist should it be inconvenient to take them off altogether.

Guests should arrive at the hour named or within five minutes afterward. It is usual to wait a quarter of an hour for a late-comer. To delay longer might interfere with the engagements of the other guests, besides spoiling the food. If the hostess has inefficient servants or only one maid, she may find it necessary to excuse herself in order to inspect the arrangements of the table at the last moment. In this case it is well to have a friend who will take the place of the hostess during her brief absence.

The luncheon is announced in the same way as dinner (see Chapter IV). The entrance to the dining-room is informal, the hostess leading the way, taking with her, perhaps, the oldest lady or the guest of honor. The others follow without special order, save that married women precede young girls. If there are men present they come last. Usually a relative or familiar friend of the hostess takes the foot of the table opposite the latter. The guest of honor sits at the right of the lady of the house; the other places of distinction are at her left and at the right and left of the assistant hostess. Unless the occasion is a very formal one, however, a hostess will pay more attention to seating her guests beside congenial neighbors than to arranging them with strict regard to precedence. It is now usual to serve coffee in the drawing-room at the conclusion of the luncheon in order to avoid the fatigue of sitting too long at table.

The guests depart soon after the conclusion of the meal, as the hostess may have other engagements to fulfil. In New York the whole lunch-party may vanish in ten or fifteen minutes. If the ladies are not in haste or are having a very pleasant time, they remain longer. In the country they would be very apt to do so. At a formal luncheon the guest of honor should be the first to take leave. A lady who has some pressing engagement may excuse herself without waiting for the former.

A buffet luncheon is served from the sideboard or from the dining-table, the guests sitting about the room. It is a convenient form of entertainment where many people are to be provided for, or where it is uncertain how many will be present. The bill of fare should consist for the most part of articles that do not require cutting up, since it is difficult to manage this with a plate resting upon one’s knees. Sandwiches, salads, oysters, croquettes, and bouillon are all appropriate, with coffee, ices, cake, and bonbons. At a simpler luncheon, jellies or other sweet dishes may be substituted for the ices. Terrapin, cold salmon, and other expensive dainties may be added to the bill of fare if the host desires. If only a small number of persons are present, so that all can be seated at the same time, guests have everything passed to them by the servants in attendance. The fashion of the moment is to use little squares of soft, embroidered linen for luncheon; but these do not afford enough protection for the dress where one eats from the lap, and larger napkins are to be preferred for this purpose at a buffet lunch. Where no servants are present the lady of the house, assisted by one or two friends, waits on the guests. It is less formal, however, when the hostess asks all to help themselves. If there are men present they wait upon the ladies. This method of service is apt to be extravagant, however, since the amateur waiters often give portions that are unduly large. It is better to have some one possessed of knowledge and experience to help to the various dishes at the table, the gentlemen then passing the plates to the ladies.

IV

DINNERS FORMAL AND INFORMAL

Invitations and How to Answer Them—Telephone Invitations—Hints for the Young Hostess—Dress for Men and for Women—Entering and Leaving the Dining-room—Etiquette of the Formal Dinner—When to Arrive and When to Leave—Dressing-rooms—Dinner-calls.

AN engraved card is now used for the invitations to a formal dinner, spaces being left blank for the day, hour, and name of guest, as for instance:

_Mr. and Mrs. George Hazleton request the pleasure of Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Allen’s company at dinner on Thursday, April the ninth, at eight o’clock Thirty-three Hamilton Place_

The invitations are given in the name of husband and wife. A widow living with a grown-up son would add his name, as a widower would that of a daughter in society.

Dinner invitations may be written in the third person, or for an informal occasion in the first. Small sheets of perfectly plain white note-paper of the best quality, with envelopes to match, are always good form. In a democratic country crests are in questionable taste, although some persons use them, embossed in white. The address is often engraved in small and simple lettering at the top of the page.

In the gay season in a large city, invitations to a formal dinner are sent out two weeks or more beforehand. In Washington the guests are sometimes invited a month in advance. For an informal occasion a week or less suffices. Invitations by telephone are now extremely popular, but they have some decided disadvantages. The person invited, being suddenly held up at the point of a gun, as it were, is likely to forget some other engagement for the same day and hour, or she may feel constrained to accept when she would prefer to decline. As she has no written record of the invitation, it may slip her memory. Hence hostesses who are very exact send a note, in addition to speaking to their friends over the telephone. It is, of course, extremely convenient to do this when engagements must be made at short notice. A hostess desiring to arrange a dinner or other occasion in honor of a certain guest, may ascertain over the telephone whether he can come on a certain evening, and then invite other friends to meet him.

The answer to an invitation to dinner should be sent as promptly as possible, within twenty-four hours at the latest. As husband and wife are always invited together, except to a stag dinner, so both must either accept or send regrets. It is not good form for one to go without the other, unless to the house of a near relation or an intimate friend. An exception is sometimes made to this rule in the case of a married couple of widely divergent tastes. Thus a literary man who is fond of society may have a wife who does not like to dine out, or whose health does not permit her to do so. If he is a very agreeable and popular person, it soon comes to be understood among their friends that he will accept invitations while his wife cannot. Although this dispensation is occasionally granted to men and women of unusual charm and ability, the average citizen is expected to adhere strictly to the rule given above.

The answer to a dinner invitation must also be definite and exact. If Mrs. Jones is uncertain whether or not she or her husband will be able to attend the dinner, she must send regrets for both. The answer should correspond in form with the invitation. “Mr. and Mrs. Samuel Jones regret very much their inability to accept the kind invitation of Mr. and Mrs. Lloyd Griswold for dinner on April eleventh,” or “regret extremely that a previous engagement prevents their accepting,” etc. The day and hour should be repeated in an acceptance, to guard against possible mistakes.

A dinner engagement must never be broken except in case of sickness or death. Should one fall ill or be obliged for any imperative reason to withdraw the acceptance of the invitation, the hostess should be notified at once in order that she may if possible fill the place left vacant. For men the proper costume for late dinner (at six o’clock or after) is regulation evening dress—_i.e._, black swallow-tail coat, with trousers to match, low-cut white waistcoat, white dress-shirt, white lawn tie, pumps or patent-leather shoes, and black socks. Some men, especially those of the older generation, still follow the earlier fashion which prescribed a black waistcoat. The latter is also worn with mourning costume. At stag dinners and small informal occasions the dinner-jacket replaces the swallow-tail coat and is accompanied by a plain black-silk tie. This must be freshly fastened whenever worn. A “made” tie of any sort is considered among men to be in direct violation of all rules of social decorum. We do not pretend to understand why, but it is one of the unalterable laws of masculine etiquette. A white waistcoat is never worn with a dinner-jacket. For a formal dinner the proper costume for women is a low-necked evening gown, with sleeves either very short or of the length required by the fashion prevailing at the moment. It is by no means necessary that the bodice should be extremely décolleté. Long gloves, white or delicately tinted, dress-slippers, and silk stockings complete the costume. The foot-gear may match the dress or it may be white or black. Ornaments may be worn in the hair, varying with the fashion of the day. Elderly women often substitute a dress cut out slightly at the neck, with elbow or transparent sleeves, for the regulation décolleté gown. Those who catch cold very easily have their dresses cut accordingly.

For an informal dinner the usual costume in America is of the sort just described. Young women select light colors as a rule. Velvets, heavy brocades, and similar materials appropriate for matrons are out of place in the toilette of young girls. Those who follow the English fashion wear décolleté costume whether they dine at home or abroad. The custom is by no means general in this country, however.

One should arrive at the hour named in the invitation or five minutes later. In the city it is a decided mistake to come earlier, as the hostess may not be ready to receive her friends. Doubtless she should be, but the fact remains that in the rush and hurry of town life she sometimes does not descend to the drawing-room until the last moment. Guests coming from a distance may find it difficult to calculate exactly the time required to make the trip to the house of the hostess. In this case, a lady arriving before the time would explain the matter to the person opening the door. She might say: “Please do not disturb Mrs. So-and-so. I know that I am too early, and will wait in the drawing-room until she is ready to receive her friends.” In the country, where people do not have so many engagements and where the means of communication are slower and less certain, guests often arrive a little before the hour named, thinking this better than to risk being late and so causing the hostess inconvenience.

A dressing-room should be provided for the ladies. This should contain a mirror and dressing-table furnished with brush and comb, pins, hair-pins, and other small accessories of the feminine toilette. A maid is usually in attendance to assist in the removal of wraps. A second room may be arranged for the men, or they may leave their coats and hats in the hall. They also will need a mirror, and a man-servant may help them to take off and later to put on their overshoes and greatcoats. At a formal dinner each man receives a diminutive envelope containing a card with the name of the lady whom he is to take in to dinner. This may be handed to him on a salver by the butler or the waitress when he arrives, or he may find it in the dressing-room. According to a novel method, the envelope is omitted and a square card made to double into a long shape is used. On the inside are engraved the words:

_Will you kindly escort_

........................................

_to dinner?_

The hostess fills in the name of the lady and puts that of the gentleman on the outside.

Mr. Ward McAllister tells us in his book that this is a Boston fashion, and that the New York hostesses of his day were returning to the old method “of assigning the guests in the drawing-room.” While the last-mentioned way is to be preferred for small and informal dinners, cards are convenient for ceremonious functions. A bashful young man suggests to us that they have the advantage of giving the gentleman a few minutes to think over what he shall say to his dinner-partner before he goes up to speak to her.

It is no longer the custom to enter the drawing-room arm-in-arm. A gentleman waits until the ladies of his party appear at the door of their dressing-room, and then follows them into the drawing-room. Here the host and hostess should be standing in readiness to give their guests a cordial welcome. The gentleman very soon seeks the lady whom he is to take into dinner. If he is not acquainted with her he asks the host or hostess to present him. On a less formal occasion there would be no cards, the lady of the house asking each man to take in a certain lady.

The cook should be told beforehand at what hour the dinner will be served. This is usually fifteen minutes after that named in the invitations. The butler or waitress should also be informed of the number of guests expected, in order that he or she may not announce dinner until all have arrived. The hostess herself must decide whether to wait beyond the quarter of an hour for a tardy guest or to order dinner served. In justice to the friends already assembled she will not in any event delay long.

When all is in readiness the butler or waitress advances a little way into the room, saying in a low voice, “Dinner is served.” If the dining-room is next door, it suffices to draw the portières or open the folding-doors. At a formal dinner the host offers his right arm to the wife of the guest of honor, and with her leads the way to the table. The other couples all follow arm-in-arm, the hostess coming last with the most distinguished man present or with the one for whom the dinner is given. In official circles in Washington, as in European society, the question of precedence is a very serious one. The hosts must arrange with great care the procession to the dining-room, in order that each person may have his proper place. In other American cities and towns the rules are much less strict. The younger make way for the older, and married women take precedence of single ones.

If the guests are invited to meet a married couple, the host will take in the wife, seating her at his right, and the hostess will go in with the husband, who will sit at her right. A bride is usually awarded the place of honor, a clergyman and his wife receiving similar recognition. A hostess sometimes enters the dining-room with the man who is to sit on her left—the second most honorable place. Each gentleman assists in seating the lady under his charge, unless this office is performed by a servant. If a clergyman is present he is usually asked to say grace. On sitting down at table the ladies remove their gloves and endeavor not to drop them upon the floor. Since a silken lap is very slippery, it is difficult to prevent this. Men, however, rather dislike being obliged to dive head foremost under the table in order to recover fan, handkerchief, or gloves for the thoughtless fair. The large dinner-napkin is partially unfolded and spread out over the knees, not tucked into a buttonhole.

The table is covered with a white damask cloth of the best quality. According to the present fashion, the centerpiece should be white. It may be of lace or embroidery, but never of a material that will not wash. A lace or lace-trimmed cloth showing the bare table around the edges is sometimes used for dinner. The arrangement and decoration are much the same as at a lunch-party. Since dinner is the most formal of all meals, the hostess uses her handsomest silver, glass, and china, as well as an abundance of beautiful flowers.

Bread-and-butter plates are banished from the table. At a formal dinner butter does not appear, the theory being that the flavoring and sauces make it unnecessary. If it is used it should be passed from the sideboard, and a small individual butter-plate set at the left of each place. Here also are two or three forks, with the tines turned up. At the right are laid a dinner-knife, a silver fish-knife (if one will be required), a tablespoon or soup-spoon, and a tumbler or goblet. The napkin, containing a roll or thick piece of bread, is put on the empty or “place” plate or at the right. The little fork for raw oysters is put here also instead of on the left with the other forks. If wine is to be served the glass or glasses are set beside the water-goblet.