LETTER XI.

_INNS._

All the comforts of life in a tavern are known, 'Tis his home who possesses not one of his own; And to him who has rather too much of that one, 'Tis the house of a friend where he's welcome to run: The instant you enter my door you're my lord, With whose taste and whose pleasure I'm proud to accord; And the louder you call and the longer you stay, The more I am happy to serve and obey.

To the house of a friend if you're pleased to retire, You must all things admit, you must all things admire; You must pay with observance the price of your treat, You must eat what is praised, and must praise what you eat: But here you may come, and no tax we require, You may loudly condemn what you greatly admire; You may growl at our wishes and pains to excel, And may snarl at the rascals who please you so well.

At your wish we attend, and confess that your speech On the nation's affairs might the minister teach; His views you may blame, and his measures oppose, There's no tavern-treason--you're under the Rose: Should rebellions arise in your own little state, With me you may safely their consequence wait; To recruit your lost spirits 'tis prudent to come, And to fly to a friend when the devil's at home.

That I've faults is confess'd; but it won't be denied, 'Tis my interest the faults of my neighbours to hide; If I've sometimes lent Scandal occasion to prate, I've often conceal'd what she'd love to relate; If to Justice's bar some have wander'd from mine, 'Twas because the dull rogues wouldn't stay by their wine; And for brawls at my house, well the poet explains, That men drink _shallow draughts_, and so madden their brains.

A difficult Subject for Poetry--Invocation of the Muse--Description of the principal Inn and those of the first Class--The large deserted Tavern--Those of a second Order--Their Company--One of particular Description--A lower Kind of Public-Houses; yet distinguished among themselves--Houses on the Quays for Sailors--The Green-Man: its Landlord, and the Adventure of his Marriage, &c.