Part 20

"'When it's a matter of love, that is true.'

"'I think of you for everything. My little Loquet, you must lend me the fifteen thousand francs.'

"'I should be delighted to oblige you, my sweet love; but there's a trifle that prevents me too: I have no money.'

"'Oh! nonsense!'

"'Five or six hundred francs, at your service, but no more. I am just beginning the practice of medicine, you understand; I have a large number of patients already: almost all the lorettes in the Bréda quarter have me to attend them, and they often have trifling indispositions; but not one of them ever pays me, that isn't their custom. As for my parents, who live in La Beauce, they have got tired of sending me money. They claim that I ought to have acquired talent enough to earn my living. Parbleu! talent isn't what I lack, but paying patients.'

"My brunette stamped impatiently, crying:

"'I mean to make my fortune, I tell you, and I can do it by selling seamless gloves. Look you, my little Loquet, you can give me your notes of hand; I can negotiate them; the owner of the process will take them in payment.'

"'But how am I to pay them?'

"'The profits will begin to come in before they fall due; I shall be selling my new gloves, and we shall have the means to pay them.'

"I hesitated; but my brunette was so sure of success; and then, I had dined well, and at such times I sign whatever anyone asks me to. I made five notes of hand, of three thousand francs each.--You can guess the result! The seamless gloves tore as soon as anyone attempted to put them on. My poor Satiné was forced to assign. We paid the first two notes, but I was obliged to sell almost everything I possessed. The third has come due, and they will soon be here to demand payment. I am besieged already by a crowd of other creditors; for, after all, a man must live, and clothe himself, and have a roof over his head. I am completely cleaned out! But I don't bear my mistress any grudge; she has gone to law with the villain who defrauded her with his secret, and hopes to make him disgorge the last two notes at least, and----"

A ring at the doorbell interrupted Balloquet, who sat up in bed and looked at me, saying in an undertone:

"Damnation! there's someone!"

"Shall I open the door?"

"No, no! wait a moment. I recognize a creditor by his way of ringing; perhaps it's the bearer of that note. No matter! I might as well have it over with. Wait!"

Balloquet jumped out of bed and opened a closet near the headboard, in which I saw a rather large iron chest set into the wall.

"I found this safe here when I took possession," whispered Balloquet, "and it serves my turn splendidly."

"I can't imagine what purpose a safe can serve, when you have no money."

"You will see, my dear fellow."

He opened the chest, threw in three large two-sou pieces, then said to me:

"Will you lend me two hundred-sou pieces for a few minutes? They will do much better."

"With pleasure, my dear fellow! do you want more?"

"No, two are enough, but I don't happen to have any at this moment."

He took out the two-sou pieces and replaced them by the five-franc pieces I had given him; then, untying his squirrel, he put him into the chest, and at once closed and locked the door, taking care to remove the key. Then he closed the closet. Having completed this operation, he returned to the bed, motioning to me to open the door.

An old man stood on the landing, well dressed, very short and stout, with a red face; he had all the externals of a retired restaurant keeper.

"Monsieur Balloquet, if you please?"

"This is the place, monsieur."

"I have come to collect a note for----"

"Be good enough to come in, monsieur."

He entered the inner room, where Balloquet, still in bed, nodded his head to him.

"I have come," the visitor repeated, "to collect a note of hand for three thousand francs, due to-morrow; but to-morrow being a holiday, it falls due the day before."

"Very well, monsieur. Please take a seat, and you shall be paid.--My dear Charles, will you be good enough to get the amount from my safe? It's in the closet at the head of my bed."

Balloquet said this with a self-possession which I could not but admire; I opened the closet, and we heard the jingling of money in the safe. I guessed that it was the squirrel playing with the coins with which he was confined, and I had to bite my lips to keep from laughing, while Balloquet exclaimed:

"I would like right well to know what my next-door neighbor is doing; something that shakes the house, apparently, as it makes the gold pieces dance in my safe; and it's like that almost all day. I shall end by complaining to the landlord.--Take three thousand francs and pay monsieur, will you, Charles?"

I put my head into the closet and replied:

"But the safe is locked and the key isn't in it."

"What do you say? the key isn't in the lock?"

"No."

"Look on the floor--and on top."

"I have looked on top and underneath, but I don't see any key."

"Ah! the rattle-headed rascal! I'll stake my head that that's what has happened. Sapristi! it puts me in a pretty fix, on my word!"

"What's the matter?"

"Imagine, Charles, that I had twelve thousand francs to pay this morning. It was all right, the funds were ready--I am never behindhand, you know--but, being ill, I had asked Bertinet, a friend of mine, who happened to drop in, to stay with me, so that I need not have to get up. He consented, after some urging; he had business at Rouen and was in a hurry to be off. Luckily, my creditor came early to get the twelve thousand francs. Bertinet paid him, and soon after went away. Well, I see now that the careless fellow must have put the key of my safe in his pocket, by accident, and gone off with it! It's very amusing, as he isn't to return for a week!"

Balloquet's tale was accompanied by the rattle of the silver pieces, which the squirrel kept constantly in motion in the safe. It seemed to me a most ingenious trick, and I rejoined, indulgently:

"It's all the more disagreeable because these safes have secret locks and there's no way of opening them except by destroying them altogether; and that would be a pity, for they're quite expensive."

"I should say so! that safe cost me nine hundred francs. But it's a solid fellow! You might try to smash it, but you couldn't do it. It would require a charge of gunpowder to open it, and then---- You see what has happened, monsieur; I am exceedingly mortified that you have come here for nothing, but it is not my fault; my friend will return in a week, and then----"

The old gentleman, who had listened with an expression bordering on idiocy, rejoined in the same tone as when he first entered the room:

"I have come to collect a note for three thousand francs, due to-morrow; but as to-morrow is a----"

"All right, monsieur!" interposed Balloquet, impatiently; "I know perfectly well why you have come, and I was going to pay you. Parbleu! your money's there; it isn't the money that's lacking; indeed, you can hear my gold pieces dancing, thanks to my neighbor. But as I haven't the key of my safe, as it has been carried off by mistake,--for it wasn't done maliciously, I am sure,--I can't pay you to-day. It is annoying, I can understand that; but, after all, it's only a delay of a few days."

The little old man blew his nose at great length, took a pinch of snuff, coughed, spat, wiped his nose, and began:

"I have come to collect a note----"

"Sapristi! this is too much!" cried Balloquet, throwing his head back on his pillow; then he crawled under his bedclothes, so that nothing was visible but the end of his nose, muttering: "Do what you please; I have had enough; I've nothing more to say."

The bearer of the note of hand gazed at me in blank amazement. I tried to make him understand the situation. I took him by the hand and led him to the safe, where the squirrel was still at play, and said:

"How do you expect my friend to pay you? He hasn't the key; it's at Rouen; and there's no way of forcing this lock."

"But then I, who came here to----"

"Come again in a few days; then my friend will have his key, and you will be paid. I have the honor to salute you, monsieur; if you should stay here three hours, the fact would remain the same, so you might as well go!"

And I pushed him gently toward the door; he made no resistance, so I escorted him to the landing and closed the door on him. I heard him mumbling as he went downstairs:

"I came to collect a note of hand for three thousand francs----"

"Bravo, my dear Rochebrune, and a thousand thanks!" said Balloquet. "We had hard work; he was as tenacious as the devil, that fellow, but I am rid of him."

"He'll come again in a few days."

"He won't find me, for I am going to move, to hide myself, wall myself up. Would you have me pay a second time for those seamless abortions? Satiné will find money somehow--that's her business."

The bell rang again.

"_Bigre!_ do you suppose the old fossil has come back? He can't have gone to get a locksmith, can he?"

"It isn't probable; he hasn't had time. What are you going to do? Shall I open the door?"

"Faith! the squirrel is still in the safe, playing his little game. If it happens to be a creditor, the trick may work again. Be kind enough to open the door."

I complied with his request, and received a lady fully fifty years of age, who was dressed with much coquetry, although her costume was not absolutely fresh. She bowed to me, and, without waiting to be ushered in, walked quickly by me, saying:

"I beg pardon, monsieur, it's Monsieur Balloquet I want to see, and I know he's in; I took pains to inquire."

She was in the inner room before I had had time to answer her. Seeing my friend in bed, she started back; but she speedily recovered herself and went on.

"Ah! so you're in bed, are you?" she exclaimed. "But, after all, the doctors visit us when we're in bed; so why shouldn't we do the same by them?"

"Perfectly argued, Madame Philocome. Pray take the trouble to be seated."

Madame Philocome took a chair, after some show of reluctance.

"Are you sick?" she said, twisting her mouth out of shape.

"Mon Dieu! yes, dear Madame Philocome, I am sick. But may I know to what I am indebted for the honor of this visit?"

"Why, I happen to have in my hands a little _broche_ of yours."

"A _broche?_"

"A little note, if you like that better; a hundred and fifty francs. It's a small matter. You made it to your tailor's order; he paid it to me, and I came to collect it. If, at the same time, you could give me what you owe me for perfumery and essences, you know----"

"Yes, I know that I owe you a trifle. Parbleu! if you have your bill here, we'll settle the whole thing together; I ask nothing better."

"It will be an accommodation to me, especially as you don't come to see us any more, doctor; you've taken your custom away from us; that's all wrong."

"Not at all; but when I moved into another quarter----"

"Here's my bill; it amounts to a hundred and thirty-two francs."

"Very good; a hundred and fifty and a hundred and thirty-two; that makes two hundred and eighty-two in all.--My dear Charles, do me the favor to take that amount from my safe."

Thereupon we performed for Madame Philocome's benefit the scene of the lost key, with an accompaniment of money jingling by the squirrel. But I was pained to see that the perfumer shook her head and smiled in a very equivocal fashion. Finally, when Balloquet essayed to express his regret at the loss of his key, the old coquette interrupted him, saying:

"It seems that you mislay your key very often, monsieur; for I have happened to see two of your creditors, and they have told me why you didn't pay them; it was exactly the same thing as to-day--the same scheme and the same details."

"That may be, madame; in fact, I did lose my key several days ago."

"Then, monsieur, why did you pretend at first that you were ready to pay me?"

Balloquet buried himself under the bedclothes, with a horrible grimace. I closed the closet door so that we could no longer hear the squirrel, whose efforts thenceforth were of no avail. Madame Philocome settled herself comfortably in her chair, saying:

"I'm very sorry, monsieur, but I want my money. You must have some, judging from that silvery tinkle in your safe. I refuse to be so good-natured as the others you have got rid of by this means. You must pay me; I won't go away until you do."

"Then you'll stay here a long while, madame."

"It's all the same to me, monsieur; I'm in no hurry."

Balloquet angrily rolled himself up in his bedclothes. I seated myself beside the hearth, curious to see how it would end. Madame Philocome stared for a while at the centre-piece on the ceiling, then took a book from the shelves. If she began to read, the situation might be prolonged indefinitely.

After some time, Balloquet broke the silence by groaning as if he were in pain; I rose and went to the bedside.

"My friend," he said, with a wink that I understood, "is my face red in spots?"

"Why, yes--you have some blotches."

"Are the whites of my eyes yellow?"

"Very yellow!"

"The devil! Be kind enough to look at my tongue and tell me if there are any little swellings on it?"

He put out his tongue, and I exclaimed after examining it:

"It's covered with them!"

"Damnation! Then it must be that; I can't fool myself any longer. I know now what my trouble is. However, I can take care of myself."

"Why, what is your trouble?"

"Pardieu! I am going to have the smallpox, that's all! However, I have been vaccinated!"

Balloquet had not finished speaking, when Madame Philocome threw down her book, sprang abruptly to her feet, and rushed from the room, crying:

"Adieu, doctor! you can pay me later; when you please!"

"But, Madame Philocome, if you would rather wait for my key, I'll send to Rouen."

It was unnecessary to say more; we heard the outer door open and close with a bang, and Madame Philocome scrambling down the stairs. Then Balloquet looked at me and roared with laughter, in which I joined. We were still laughing, I am sure, when the old coquette was a long way from the house.

XXVII

A CONSULTATION

"What do you think of my second method, Rochebrune?"

"Excellent; indeed, I think that it's better than the other, for it requires less preparation."

"That depends. We have creditors who will defy smallpox, yellow fever--aye, the plague itself. But I must get up and liberate my squirrel, and return your ten francs."

"I will take back the ten francs, which would be of no great use to you; but if you would like this five-hundred-franc note, which I put in my pocket with a view to settling with my tailor, why, don't hesitate to say so; I shall be glad to do you a service."

Balloquet forgot that he was in his shirt; he leaped on my neck, crying:

"Would I like it! I should say so! I wouldn't have asked for it, but you offer it! You're a friend indeed! Let me hear anyone say that there are no such things as friends nowadays! Dear old Rochebrune! And you don't know me very well, either."

"I know you well enough to be happy that I am able to oblige you."

"Oh! by the way, I ought to warn you of one thing: I can't say just when I shall be able to pay you."

"Don't let that disturb you! You may pay me when fortune smiles on you again, when you have a profitable practice."

"Oh! as for that, you will be the first person paid. So I'm in funds once more! _Vive la joie!_--No more potatoes! I've had enough of them; I've been stuffed with them for a long time. But I won't tell Satiné that my pockets are lined, for she has always some invention or other in her head, and it's too risky."

I was about to take leave of Balloquet, who was just pulling on his trousers, when we heard three little taps at his door. The young doctor listened and smiled.

"What sort of a farce are you going to play this time?" I asked him.

"Oh! this is no creditor, my dear fellow, I am sure. The creditor knocks noisily; but those soft little taps--I'll bet that it's someone to consult me."

He went into the outer room and called:

"Who's there?"

"Someone who wishes to consult monsieur le médécin," replied a soft, female voice.

"I will leave you," I said, taking my hat; but Balloquet detained me.

"Do stay," he said. "Thus far you have seen nothing but the unpleasant features of my position as a debtor; it is only fair that you should be a witness also of the advantages we owe to our profession. This is some girl to consult me. It is sometimes quite amusing to listen. They conceal nothing from their doctor; they tell him some things that they certainly wouldn't tell their lovers."

"But she won't dare to say anything before a witness, will she?"

"It will be enough to tell her that you're a confrère; then she'll look on you as another myself. If there were ten of us here, and I should say they were all doctors, she'd take them all for her confidants."

"In that case, I will stay and listen to the consultation."

I resumed my seat, while Balloquet donned his dressing gown, and opened the door himself.

The doctor was not mistaken; it was a young girl, with a costume halfway between that of a grisette and a nursery maid. Light hair, an attractive face, eyes cast down like an innocent schoolgirl, but with a certain twist in her gait which bore no trace of innocence.

She made a courtesy, then glanced at me, and halted.

"Monsieur is a confrère, another myself," said Balloquet; "so you may speak before him without fear; indeed, you may be the gainer by so doing, for two opinions are better than one. Be seated, mademoiselle, and tell me what brings you here."

The girl courtesied again, and tried to smile; but in the midst of the smile, her features contracted with pain; she pressed her lips together, clenched her hands, and leaned against the desk.

"Are you in pain?" asked Balloquet, pushing a chair toward her.

She seemed to breathe with difficulty, but she smiled again, saying:

"It's over now; I hope it won't amount to anything, but it makes me feel very bad at times."

"Tell me what it is."

"I am a lacemaker, monsieur; but there hasn't been much doing in that trade for some time, and one earns so little! And I admit that I'm a good deal of an idler; when I'm sent on an errand, I like to stop in front of the caricature shops and confectioners; and I like the theatre too, and balls. It's such good fun to dance at Mabille, at Valentino's, and at the Cité-d'Antin. In fact, I like a good time, I don't deny it."

"That's characteristic of your age, mademoiselle; indeed, we all like a good time. Everyone enjoys it according to his tastes. At twenty, it's love and clothes; at thirty, money; at forty, ambition and titles; later, cards and rest. But at every age, when we seek to gratify our desires, we are always after a good time. Go on."

"But, monsieur, when you want to enjoy yourself, and haven't any money, it's very hard!"

"Sometimes; it depends on the sort of enjoyment you want."

"One night, I was walking on the Champs-Élysées with a friend of mine, who's a good deal of an idler, like myself, and likes good things to eat, too. As we passed a café, we looked at the people eating ices at the tables outside, and my friend said: 'I've never eaten any of that! None of the lovers I've ever had have been good for more than a bottle of cider or beer. Oh, yes! there was one who ordered punch; but he drank it all and didn't leave me half a glass!'--'I don't know what ices taste like, either,' said I; 'but I'd like right well to try one.'--At that, a fat man behind us, who was listening to us, I suppose, said: 'Allow me to satisfy your longing, mesdemoiselles, and to offer you an ice. See, here's an unoccupied table; let's sit down here.'

"I was rather taken by surprise and didn't know what to reply, but my friend nudged me and whispered: 'Let's accept and take the ices; what harm will it do? it don't bind us to anything. Besides, he's a well-dressed man, he's _comme il faut_. I'm going to accept, anyway!'--And she drew me toward the table. You can understand that I couldn't very well refuse.--Well, he treated us; my friend had three ices, but I only took two; they made my teeth ache a little. He stuffed us with cakes and macaroons, too; so my friend thought he was charming; but he wasn't at all to my taste. His face was red and all covered with pimples. However, he had pleasant manners, and, although my friend made eyes at him, he paid all his attention to me. That made my friend mad. At last, messieurs--monsieur le docteur--you understand?"

"Yes, perfectly; you made the acquaintance of the stout man who paid for the ices; but that doesn't tell us why you are suffering now."

"Ah! that's the sequel. I had known that gentleman about six months. I hadn't got used to him at all; but I had got used to his presents. It isn't that he was very generous---- However, when you don't love a man, you ask nothing better than to deceive him."

"That is perfectly natural, mademoiselle; sometimes, indeed, you deceive him when you do love him."

"Oh! that's true, too; I believe such things have been known. Well, about six weeks ago I made the acquaintance of a young man I liked very much."

"And you left the stout party?"

"Mon Dieu! I intended to, certainly--that was my purpose--but----"

"You didn't have a chance, eh?"

"That's it, monsieur. I was looking for an opportunity; I didn't know just what to do, for I had discovered that Monsieur Bouqueton was very brutal, with all his _comme il faut_ air."

"Bouqueton!" I exclaimed, struck by that name, as I recalled Madame Dauberny's confidences on the subject of her husband. "So your stout man's name is Bouqueton, is it?"

"Yes, monsieur. Do you know him?"

"No, not I. But I have heard of him from a friend of mine, who didn't speak very highly of him. Go on, mademoiselle."

"I was looking for a chance to break with Monsieur Bouqueton; but, meanwhile, I continued to receive his presents--so as not to make him suspicious. Well, three days ago, my lover--my real lover--came and asked me to dine with him at a little restaurant on Rue du Ponceau, where they have private rooms. Naturally, I said _yes_. When I went out, I met my friend, the one who had the ices with me on the Champs-Élysées. She asked me where I was going, and I was fool enough to tell her. Oh! women are such traitors! It's never safe to trust one's friends! I am sure that it was she who told Monsieur Bouqueton that I had another lover. By making trouble between him and me, she hoped he'd take her, I suppose--the vile slut! Well, messieurs, when I came out of the restaurant with my lover, I saw Monsieur Bouqueton standing guard at the door. I trembled all over. I didn't want to go home, but my young man couldn't take me with him, for he hadn't any rooms of his own: he lives with his employer, four clerks in one room. I couldn't go and play puss-in-the-corner with all four; so I says to myself: 'Never mind! here's the opportunity I've been looking for to break with Monsieur Bouqueton.'

"Sure enough, I hadn't been at home half an hour, when someone knocked at my door. It was Monsieur Bouqueton. I was all of a tremble when I opened the door; but I was surprised to hear him speak to me very gently, and say: 'So you don't love me any more, Annette?'--My name's Annette.--'I can't blame you; for I know that liaisons like ours can't last forever. I have come to say good-bye to you; but I don't propose to part on bad terms; on the contrary, to prove that I don't bear you any grudge, I'll treat you to _bischoff_. I know a place where they make it delicious. We'll take a cab and go there; then I'll bring you home, and we'll part the best of friends.'