CHAPTER I.

MY MOTHER'S PROMISE--CHASED BY WOLVES--A REMARKABLE DREAM--THROWN FROM A HORSE--PROVIDENTIALLY SAVED--RELIGIOUS REVIVAL--PREACHERS TRY IN VAIN TO CONVERT ME--RIDICULED FOR NOT PLAYING AT CARDS--READ INFIDEL WORKS--THEIR EFFECT--A VISION.

I was born October 19th, 1807, in the town of Smyrna, Chenango County, New York.

My mother was afflicted many years with consumption. I remember her as a fervent, praying woman. She used, frequently, to call me to her bedside and counsel me to be a good man, that the Lord might bless my future life. On one occasion, she told me that if I would not neglect to pray to my Heavenly Father, He would send a guardian angel to protect me in the dangers to which I might be exposed.

She had so trained me to trust in God, that, even in my early youth, I seemed capable of grasping, in my faith, the prophetic promise she had made. It sank deep into my heart, and ever since has been an anchor of hope in the difficulties and dangers to which I have been exposed.

This pious, faithful, friend and mother, drooped and died on the 11th of June, 1814.

Soon after her death, my father broke up housekeeping, and I was sent about sixty miles to live with my brother-in-law, John P. Green, near Cayuga Bridge.

It was a marshy, malarious country, and I was taken very sick with fever and ague, with which I suffered severely. In the fall of 1815, we removed to Tyrone, Schuyler County. In the meantime, my father had taken up some land on which to make a home, about six miles from where Mr. Green lived. This country, at that time, was new, and there was nothing but a dense forest between Mr. Green's house and my father's. The wolves were very numerous in this forest. At one time, several of them chased me to Mr. Green's house, and I seemed to barely escape with my life.

During the winter of 1815-16, in company with my brothers, Joseph, Phinehas and Brigham, I worked for my father and assisted him to clear off some land.

In the autumn of 1816, when about nine years old, I had a peculiar dream. I thought I stood in an open, clear space of ground, and saw a plain, fine road, leading, at an angle of 45 degrees, into the air, as far as I could see. I heard a noise like a carriage in rapid motion, at what seemed the upper end of the road. In a moment it came in sight. It was drawn by a pair of beautiful, white horses. The carriage and harness appeared brilliant with gold. The horses traveled with the speed of the wind. It was made manifest to me that the Savior was in the carriage, and that it was driven by His servant. The carriage stopped near me, and the Savior inquired where my brother Brigham was. After informing Him, He further inquired about my other brothers, and our father. After I had answered His inquiries, He stated that He wanted us all, but He especially wanted my brother Brigham. The team then turned right about, and returned on the road it had come.

I awoke at once, and slept no more that night. I felt frightened, and supposed we were all going to die. I saw no other solution to the dream. It was a shadowing of our future which I was then in no condition to discern.

In the morning I told my father the dream, and my fears that we were going to die. He comforted me with the assurance that he did not think my interpretation was correct.

In the winter of 1817-18, I went to live with my brother-in-law, James Little, in the town of Aurelius, Cayuga County, New York. I remained there about five years, learning the business of a gardener and fruit raiser.

In the summer of my twelfth year, I was placed upon a race horse by Mr. Little, and sent on an errand. The animal was too spirited for a boy of my age to safely ride. It became frightened and unmanageable. It turned so rapidly around that I was thrown out of the saddle. As I fell my bare foot slipped through the iron stirrup, where I hung with my head just touching the ground. With my left hand, I still grasped the bridle rein, on that side, firmly. The horse endeavored to kick me, but, fortunately, did not succeed on account of my being too close to him. My hold on the bridle rein prevented the animal from running away and caused him to whirl around almost in a circle.

In danger we often think with great rapidity. I comprehended my situation in a moment, and, at first, could see no way of escape from having my brains dashed out. But, as I hung, I was suddenly impressed to get hold of the stirrup with my right hand, and make an effort to raise myself up, so as to get my foot loose from it. By a great effort I succeeded in drawing myself up, and slipping the stirrup over my foot. I then let go all hold and fell to the ground.

The horse went at full speed for home and his stable. I got up and was not much hurt.

The promise my mother made me flashed into my mind, and I felt thankful to the Lord that I had been preserved from serious harm by a kind providence.

In the winter of 1819-20, I left Aurelius and went about twenty miles to Hector, Schuyler County. A Methodist revival occurred in that town, and religious excitement ran so high that it became fashionable to make a profession of religion.

So far as I knew, every young person in the neighborhood but myself professed to receive "a saving change of heart" before the close of the revival.

As was usual during such periods of religious excitement, meetings were held nightly. In these meetings it was the custom to request those who were "seeking religion," to come forward to some seat reserved for the purpose, to be prayed for.

I was somewhat affected by the intense religious feeling. One evening, I attended a meeting presided over by Elder Gilmore, the leading minister. Two or three other preachers were also present. The usual invitation was given for penitents to come forward to the "anxious seat."

Some time was spent in prayer, when all who had come forward, except myself, professed to have a "change of heart." The meeting was closed, and Elder Gilmore proposed that those who were willing to do so, should retire to a private house with me, and continue in prayer till I was converted.

As proposed, we retired to a neighboring house, where the praying continued until two o'clock in the morning.

Elder Gilmore then asked me if I had not received a "change of heart."

I replied that I had not realized any "change."

After so much fruitless labor, they were evidently disposed to give me up as a reprobate. Elder Gilmore told me that I had sinned away the day of grace, and my damnation was sure. He asserted that he would never offer another prayer for me.

Although religious in my nature, even at that early age, sectarian religion seemed empty and void.

The following morning, I left the scene of this religious excitement in Hector and returned to Cayuga County, about three miles from Auburn. There I went to work for Mr. Monroe, to learn the trade of a blacksmith. He carried on considerable business, and employed a number of young men and apprentices.

One evening, Mr. Monroe and the workmen gathered around the center table, in the sitting room, to while away the evening in a game of cards. Mr. Monroe invited me to participate.

My father had counseled me never to play a game of cards. "Not," said he, "that there is any particular harm in playing a game of cards, but card-playing has a tendency to lead those who follow it into other vices."

I determined, at the time, to keep his counsel should it cost me my situation. Mr. Monroe did not appear disposed to receive any apology for not accepting his invitation. I arose, took a Bible that was near me, and read during the evening while the remainder of the company played cards.

The most of Mr. Monroe's workmen were inclined to infidelity, and the course I took that evening, afterwards brought upon me much annoyance and ridicule.

Although infidel in principle, Mr. Monroe was kind to those around him, and manifested that kindness to me as well as others. He placed in my hands several infidel books. Among them, I recollect the writings of Voltaire and Thomas Payne. My experience at this time, taught me that skeptical works cannot be read without leaving their impression on the mind. A continuation of reading them must, eventually, lead to confirmed infidelity.

The teachings of my pious parents had given me considerable faith in God, and I enjoyed some of His Spirit. It has since been evident to me, that the reading of those infidel books stirred up an antagonism in me between the Spirit of truth and the spirit of skepticism. The struggle between them, in my bosom, continued about a year, and was a source of great affliction to me. The Lord, through His Spirit, was trying to save me from error and darkness.

I would advise all my young friends, and especially those who have had the testimony of the Spirit of truth, to never, by any act of theirs, invite the spirit of infidelity into their hearts, lest they fall away into darkness, and go down to death.

I remained with Mr. Monroe nearly two years. I injured myself lifting a log, and it was evident that I could not again work at the blacksmith business for some time. For this reason I left Mr. Monroe, and went to visit Mr. J. P. Green, who lived in Watertown, about one hundred miles from Auburn, in Jefferson County.

For sometime my health continued poor. One day I lay on a bed to rest where I could see the family in their ordinary occupations. All at once I heard the most beautiful music. I soon discovered from whence it came. Standing side by side, on the foot board of the beadstead on which I lay, were two beautiful, seraph-like beings, about the size of children seven or eight years old. They were dressed in white, and appeared surpassingly pure and heavenly. I felt certain that I was fully awake, and these juvenile personages were realistic to me. With their disappearance the music ceased. I turned and asked two of my sisters, who were in the room, if they had not heard the music. I was much surprised to learn that they had heard nothing.