Part 18
A man may play nine strokes in a hazard, but he hates to admit it. Adolphus grunted and withdrew to the other side of the pit, from which point he watched Windy morosely. With victory in sight the latter became cheerful again; conversation bubbled out of him.
"Boy, slip me the niblick and get up yonder on the edge of the ravine where you can watch this ball. I'm goin' to knock it a mile out of here. Ten shots he's had. If it was me, I'd give up. How am I to get a footin' on this infernal side hill? Spikes won't hold in that stuff. Wish I was a goat. Aha! The very thing!"
Suddenly he delivered a powerful blow at the slope some distance below his ball and three or four feet to the left of it. Cupid gasped and opened his mouth to say something, but I nudged him and he subsided, clucking like a nervous hen.
"What's the idea?" demanded Kitts.
"To make little boys ask questions," was the calm reply. "I climbed the Alps once. Had to dig holes for my feet. Guess I haven't forgotten how, but diggin' with a blasted niblick is hard work."
"Oh!" said Kitts.
Windy continued to hack at the wall, the gallery looking on in tense silence. Nobody would have offered a suggestion; we all felt that it was their own affair, and on the knees of the gods, as the saying is. When Windy had hacked out a place for his right foot he cut another one for his left. The weeds were tough and the soil was hard, and he grunted as he worked.
"Yep--that Alps trip--taught me something. Comes in--handy now. Pretty nifty--job, hey?"
I suppose a mountain climber would have called it a nifty job. Cupid began to mutter.
"Be quiet!" said I. "Let's see if Kitts has nerve enough to call it on him!"
With the shaft of his niblick in his teeth, Windy swarmed up the side of the wall, found the footholds and planted himself solidly. Grasping a bush above his head with his left hand, he measured the distance with his eye, steadied himself and swung the niblick with his powerful right arm. It was a wonderful shot, even if Windy Wilkins did make it; the ball went soaring skyward, far beyond all trouble.
"_Some--out!_" he panted, looking over his shoulder at Kitts. "I guess that'll clinch the match!"
For just a second Adolphus hesitated; then he must have thought of the cup. "I rather think it will," said he. "You're nicely out, Wilkins--in forty-seven strokes."
"Forty-seven devils!" shouted Windy. "I'm out _in two_!"
"In a hazard," quoted Kitts, "the club shall not touch the ground, nor shall anything be touched or moved before the player strikes at the ball." At this point Adolphus made a serious mistake; he reached for the book. "Under the rule," he continued, "I could claim the hole on you, but I won't do that. I'll only count the strokes you took in chopping a stance for yourself----"
That was where Windy dropped the niblick and jumped at him, and Cupid was correct about the coyote. Put him in a hole where he can't get out, attack him hard enough, and he _will_ fight.
Adolphus dropped the book and nailed Windy on the chin with a right upper cut that jarred the whole Wilkins family.
"Keep out of it, everybody!" yelled Cupid with a sudden flash of inspiration. "It's an elimination contest! More power to both of 'em--and may they both lose!"
Inside of two seconds the whole floor of the Devil's Kitchen was littered up with fists and elbows and boots and knees. They fought into clinches and battered their way out of them; they tripped over roots and scrambled to their feet again; they tossed all rules to the winds except the rule of self-preservation. The air was full of heartfelt grunts and sounds as of some one beating a rag carpet, and the language which floated to us was--well, elemental, to say the least. And through it all the gallery looked down in decent silence; there was no favourite for whom any one cared to cheer.
When Windy came toiling up out of the pit alone, but one remark was addressed to him.
"Aren't you going to play it out?" asked Cupid.
"Huh?" said Windy, pausing. His coat was torn off his back, his soiled white trousers were out at the knees, his nose was bleeding freely, and his mouth was lopsided.
"Aren't you going to finish the match? You've only played 46. Kitts made a mistake in the count."
"Finish--hell!" snarled Windy. "You roosted up here like a lot of buzzards and let me chop myself out of the contest! I feel like finishin' the lot of you, and I'm through with any club that'll let a swine like Kitts be a member!"
Oddly enough, this last statement was substantially the same as the one Adolphus made when he recovered consciousness.
The wily Cupid, concealing from each the intentions of the other, and becoming a bearer of pens, ink, and paper, managed to secure both their resignations before they left the clubhouse that evening, and peace now reigns at the Country Club.
We have been given to understand that in the future the committee on membership will require gilt-edged certificates of character and that no rough diamonds need apply.
Nobody won the handicap cup, and nobody knows what to do with it, though there is some talk of having it engraved as follows:
"Elimination Trophy--won by W. W. Wilkins, knockout, one round."
Other Fiction
ZANE GREY'S NOVELS
_THE MAN OF THE FOREST_ _THE DESERT OF WHEAT_ _THE U. P. TRAIL_ _WILDFIRE_ _THE BORDER LEGION_ _THE RAINBOW TRAIL_ _THE HERITAGE OF THE DESERT_ _RIDERS OF THE PURPLE SAGE_ _THE LIGHT OF WESTERN STARS_ _THE LAST OF THE PLAINSMEN_ _THE LONE STAR RANGER_ _DESERT GOLD_ _BETTY ZANE_ _LAST OF THE GREAT SCOUTS_ The life story of "Buffalo Bill" by his sister Helen Cody Wetmore, with Foreword and conclusion by Zane Grey
_ZANE GREY'S BOOKS FOR BOYS_
_KEN WARD IN THE JUNGLE_ _THE YOUNG LION HUNTER_ _THE YOUNG FORESTER_ _THE YOUNG PITCHER_ _THE SHORT STOP_ _THE RED-HEADED OUTFIELD AND OTHER BASEBALL STORIES_
* * * * *
STORIES OF RARE CHARM BY GENE STRATTON-PORTER
_MICHAEL O'HALLORAN._ Illustrated by Frances Rogers.
Michael is a quick-witted little Irish newsboy, living in Northern Indiana. He adopts a deserted little girl, a cripple. He also assumes the responsibility of leading the entire rural community upward and onward.
_LADDIE._ Illustrated by Herman Pfeifer.
This is a bright, cheery tale with the scenes laid in Indiana. The story is told by Little Sister, the youngest member of a large family, but it is concerned not so much with childish doings as with the love affairs of older members of the family. Chief among them is that of Laddie and the Princess, an English girl who has come to live in the neighborhood and about whose family there hangs a mystery.
_THE HARVESTER._ Illustrated by W. L. Jacobs.
"The Harvester," is a man of the woods and fields, and if the book had nothing in it but the splendid figure of this man it would be notable. But when the Girl comes to his "Medicine Woods," there begins a romance of the rarest idyllic quality.
_FRECKLES._ Illustrated.
Freckles is a nameless waif when the tale opens, but the way in which he takes hold of life; the nature friendships he forms in the great Limberlost Swamp; the manner in which everyone who meets him succumbs to the charm of his engaging personality; and his love-story with "The Angel" are full of real sentiment.
_A GIRL OF THE LIMBERLOST._ Illustrated.
The story of a girl of the Michigan woods; a buoyant, loveable type of the self-reliant American. Her philosophy is one of love and kindness towards all things; her hope is never dimmed. And by the sheer beauty of her soul, and the purity of her vision, she wins from barren and unpromising surroundings those rewards of high courage.
_AT THE FOOT OF THE RAINBOW._ Illustrations in colors.
The scene of this charming love story is laid in Central Indiana. The story is one of devoted friendship, and tender self-sacrificing love. The novel is brimful of the most beautiful word painting of nature, and its pathos and tender sentiment will endear it to all.
_THE SONG OF THE CARDINAL._ Profusely illustrated.
A love ideal of the Cardinal bird and his mate, told with delicacy and humor.
* * * * *
THE NOVELS OF MARY ROBERTS RINEHART
_DANGEROUS DAYS._
A brilliant story of married life. A romance of fine purpose and stirring appeal.
_THE AMAZING INTERLUDE._
Illustrations by The Kinneys.
The story of a great love which cannot be pictured--an interlude--amazing, romantic.
_LOVE STORIES._
This book is exactly what its title indicates, a collection of love affairs--sparkling with humor, tenderness and sweetness.
_"K."_ Illustrated.
K. LeMoyne, famous surgeon, goes to live in a little town where beautiful Sidney Page lives. She is in training to become a nurse. The joys and troubles of their young love are told with keen and sympathetic appreciation.
_THE MAN IN LOWER TEN._ Illustrated by Howard Chandler Christy.
An absorbing detective story woven around the mysterious death of the "Man in Lower Ten."
_WHEN A MAN MARRIES._ Illustrated by Harrison Fisher and Mayo Bunker.
A young artist, whose wife had recently divorced him, finds that his aunt is soon to visit him. The aunt, who contributes to the family income, knows nothing of the domestic upheaval. How the young man met the situation is entertainingly told.
_THE CIRCULAR STAIRCASE._ Illustrated by Lester Ralph.
The occupants of "Sunnyside" find the dead body of Arnold Armstrong on the circular staircase. Following the murder a bank failure is announced. Around these two events is woven a plot oL absorbing interest.
_THE STREET OF SEVEN STARS._ (Photoplay Edition.)
Harmony Wells, studying in Vienna to be a great violinist, suddenly realizes that her money is almost gone. She meets a young ambitious doctor who offers her chivalry and sympathy, and together with world-worn Dr. Anna and Jimmie, the waif, they share their love and slender means.
* * * * *
BOOTH TARKINGTON'S NOVELS
_SEVENTEEN._ Illustrated by Arthur William Brown.
No one but the creator of Penrod could have portrayed the immortal young people of this story. Its humor is irresistible and reminiscent of the time when the reader was Seventeen.
_PENROD._ Illustrated by Gordon Grant.
This is a picture of a boy's heart, full of the lovable, humorous, tragic things which are locked secrets to most older folks. It is a finished, exquisite work.
_PENROD AND SAM._ Illustrated by Worth Brehm.
Like "Penrod" and "Seventeen," this book contains some remarkable phases of real boyhood and some of the best stories of juvenile prankishness that have ever been written.
_THE TURMOIL._ Illustrated by C. E. Chambers.
Bibbs Sheridan is a dreamy, imaginative youth, who revolts against his father's plans for him to be a servitor of big business. The love of a fine girl turns Bibbs' life from failure to success.
_THE GENTLEMAN FROM INDIANA._ Frontispiece.
A story of love and politics,--more especially a picture of a country editor's life in Indiana, but the charm of the book lies in the love interest.
_THE FLIRT._ Illustrated by Clarence F. Underwood.
The "Flirt," the younger of two sisters, breaks one girl's engagement, drives one man to suicide, causes the murder of another, leads another to lose his fortune, and in the end marries a stupid and unpromising suitor, leaving the really worthy one to marry her sister.
* * * * *
KATHLEEN NORRIS' STORIES
_SISTERS._ Frontispiece by Frank Street.
The California Redwoods furnish the background for this beautiful story of sisterly devotion and sacrifice.
_POOR, DEAR, MARGARET KIRBY._ Frontispiece by George Gibbs.
A collection of delightful stories, including "Bridging the Years" and "The Tide-Marsh." This story is now shown in moving pictures.
_JOSSELYN'S WIFE._ Frontispiece by C. Allan Gilbert.
The story of a beautiful woman who fought a bitter fight for happiness and love.
_MARTIE, THE UNCONQUERED._ Illustrated by Charles E. Chambers.
The triumph of a dauntless spirit over adverse conditions.
_THE HEART OF RACHAEL._ Frontispiece by Charles E. Chambers.
An interesting story of divorce and the problems that come with a second marriage.
_THE STORY OF JULIA PAGE._ Frontispiece by C. Allan Gilbert.
A sympathetic portrayal of the quest of a normal girl, obscure and lonely, for the happiness of life.
_SATURDAY'S CHILD._ Frontispiece by F. Graham Cootes.
Can a girl, born in rather sordid conditions, lift herself through sheer determination to the better things for which her soul hungered?
_MOTHER._ Illustrated by F. C. Yohn.
A story of the big mother heart that beats in the background of every girl's life, and some dreams which came true.
* * * * *
SEWELL FORD'S STORIES
_SHORTY McCABE._ Illustrated by Francis Vaux Wilson.
A very humorous story. The hero, an independent and vigorous thinker, sees life, and tells about it in a very unconventional way.
_SIDE-STEPPING WITH SHORTY._ Illustrated by Francis Vaux Wilson.
Twenty skits, presenting people with their foibles. Sympathy with human nature and an abounding sense of humor are the requisites for "side-stepping with Shorty."
_SHORTY McCABE ON THE JOB._ Illustrated by Francis Vaux Wilson.
Shorty McCabe reappears with his figures of speech revamped right up to the minute. He aids in the right distribution of a "conscience fund," and gives joy to all concerned.
_SHORTY McCABE'S ODD NUMBERS._ Illustrated by Francis Vaux Wilson.
These further chronicles of Shorty McCabe tell of his studio for physical culture, and of his experiences both on the East side and at swell yachting parties.
_TORCHY._ Illus, by Geo. Biehm and Jas. Montgomery Flagg.
A red-headed office boy, overflowing with wit and wisdom peculiar to the youths reared on the sidewalks of New York, tells the story of his experiences.
_TRYING OUT TORCHY._ Illustrated by F. Foster Lincoln.
Torchy is just as deliriously funny in these stories as he was in the previous book.
_ON WITH TORCHY._ Illustrated by F. Foster Lincoln.
Torchy falls desperately in love with "the only girl that ever was," but that young society woman's aunt tries to keep the young people apart, which brings about many hilariously funny situations.
_TORCHY, PRIVATE SEC._ Illustrated by F. Foster Lincoln.
Torchy rises from the position of office boy to that of secretary for the Corrugated Iron Company. The story is full of humor and infectious American slang.
_WILT THOU TORCHY._ Illustrated by F. Snapp and A. W. Brown.
Torchy goes on a treasure search expedition to the Florida West Coast, in company with a group of friends of the Corrugated Trust and with his friend's aunt, on which trip Torchy wins the aunt's permission to place an engagement ring on Vee's finger.
* * * * *
ELEANOR H. PORTER'S NOVELS
_JUST DAVID_
The tale of a loveable boy and the place he comes to fill in the hearts of the gruff farmer folk to whose care he is left.
_THE ROAD TO UNDERSTANDING_
A compelling romance of love and marriage.
_OH, MONEY! MONEY!_
Stanley Fulton, a wealthy bachelor, to test the dispositions of his relatives, sends them each a check for $100,000, and then as plain John Smith comes among them to watch the result of his experiment.
_SIX STAR RANCH_
A wholesome story of a club of six girls and their summer on Six Star Ranch.
_DAWN_
The story of a blind boy whose courage leads him through the gulf of despair into a final victory gained by dedicating his life to the service of blind soldiers.
_ACROSS THE YEARS_
Short stories of our own kind and of our own people. Contains some of the best writing Mrs. Porter has done.
_THE TANGLED THREADS_
In these stories we find the concentrated charm and tenderness of all her other books.
_THE TIE THAT BINDS_
Intensely human stories told with Mrs. Porter's wonderful talent for warm and vivid character drawing.
* * * * *
ETHEL M. DELL'S NOVELS
_THE LAMP IN THE DESERT_
The scene of this splendid story is laid in India and tells of the lamp of love that continues to shine through all sorts of tribulations to final happiness.
_GREATHEART_
The story of a cripple whose deformed body conceals a noble soul.
_THE HUNDREDTH CHANCE_
A hero who worked to win even when there was only "a hundredth chance."
_THE SWINDLER_
The story of a "bad man's" soul revealed by a woman's faith.
_THE TIDAL WAVE_
Tales of love and of women who learned to know the true from the false.
_THE SAFETY CURTAIN_
A very vivid love story of India. The volume also contains four other long stories of equal interest.