Chapter 4

Of all the heavenly gifts that mortal men commend, What trusty treasure in the world can countervail a friend? Our health is soon decayed; goods, casual, light and vain; Broke have we seen the force of power, and honor suffer stain. In body's lust man doth resemble but base brute; True virtue gets and keeps a friend, good guide of our pursuit. Whose hearty zeal with ours accords in every case; No term of time, no space of place, no storm can it deface.

--_Nicholas Grimoald_.

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When we have fallen through story after story of our vanity and aspiration, and sit rueful among the ruins, then it is that we begin to measure the stature of our friends; how they stand between us and our own contempt, believing in our best.

--_Stevenson_.

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Reason is the torch of friendship, judgment its guide, tenderness its aliment.

--_De Bonald_.

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Some I remember and will ne'er forget My early friends, friends of my evil day; Friends in my mirth, friends in my misery too, Friends given by God in mercy and in love; My counsellors, my comforters, and guides; My joy in grief, my second bliss in joy; Companions of my young desires; in doubt My oracles; my wings in high pursuit. Oh, I remember, and will ne'er forget Our meeting spots, our chosen sacred hours; Our burning words that utter'd all the soul; Our faces beaming with unearthly love; Sorrow with sorrow sighing, hope with hope Exulting, heart embracing heart entire.

--_R. Pollok_.

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Some love the glow of outward show, Some love mere wealth, and try to win it; The house to me may lowly be, If I but like the people in it!

What's all the gold that glitters cold, When link'd to hard or haughty feeling? Whate'er we're told, the nobler gold Is truth of heart and manly dealing!

Then let them seek, whose minds are weak, Mere fashion's smile, and try to win it; The house to me may lowly be, If I but like the people in it!

--_Swain_.

* * * * * Talk not of wasted affection, Affection never was wasted; If it enrich not the heart of another, Its waters returning Back to their springs like the rain, Shall fill them full of refreshment; That which the fountain sends forth Returns again to the fountain.

--_Longfellow_.

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There is no greater bane to friendship than adulation, fawning, and flattery. For this vice should be branded under as many names as possible, being that of worthless and designing men, who say everything with a view of pleasing, and nothing with regard to truth. Now while hypocrisy in all things is blamable (for it does away with all judgment of truth, and adulterates truth itself), so especially is it repugnant to friendship, for it destroys all truth, without which the name of friendship can avail nothing.

--_Cicero_.

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These things do not require to be spoken; there is something in the hand grip and the look in the eye that makes you know your man.

--_Chambers_.

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The man who prefers his dearest friend to the call of duty will soon show that he prefers himself to his dearest friend.

--_Robertson_.

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There is nothing like putting the shine on another's face to put the shine on our own. Nine-tenths of all loneliness, sensitiveness, despondency, moroseness, are connected with personal interests. Turn more of those selfish interests into unselfish ones, and by so much we change opportunities for disheartenment into their opposite. By a law of Nature part of her beautiful economy, he who lives most for others is really living most for himself.

--_Gannett_.

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The foundation of that steadfastness and constancy which we seek in friendship, is sincerity. For nothing is steadfast which is insincere.

--_Cicero_.

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The wise man seeks a friend in whom are those qualities which he himself may lack; for thus being united is their friendship the more completely defended against adversity.

--_Jeremy Taylor_.

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The Swallow is a summer bird; He in our chimneys, when the weather Is fine and warm, may then be heard Chirping his notes for weeks together.

Come there but one cold wintry day, Away will fly our guest the Swallow: And much like him we find the way Which many a gay young friend will follow.

In dreary days of snow and frost, Closer to Man will cling the Sparrow: Old friends, although in life we're crost, Their hearts to us will never narrow.

Give me the bird--give me the friend-- Will sing in frost--will love in sorrow-- Whate'er mischance to-day may send, Will greet me with his sight to-morrow.

--_Lamb_.

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True happiness consists not in the multitude of friends, but in the worth and choice. --_Dr. Johnson_.

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The earth-born clod who hugs his idol pelf, His only friends are Mammon and himself; The drunken sots, who want the art to think, Still cease from friendship when they cease from drink. The empty fop who scarce for man will pass, Ne'er sees a friend but when he views his glass. Friendship first springs from sympathy of mind, Which to complete the virtues all combine, And only found 'mongst men who can espy The merits of his friend without envy. Thus all pretending friendship's but a dream, Whose base is not reciprocal esteem.

--_Allan Ramsay_.

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We grow by love. It is said, why live for others? But others are our nutriment.

--_Channing_.

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There are no rules for friendship. It must be left to itself. We cannot force it any more than love.

--_Hazlitt_.

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There are few subjects which have been more written upon, and less understood, than that of friendship. To follow the dictates of some, this virtue instead of being the messenger of pain becomes the source of every inconvenience. Such specialists, by expecting too much from friendship, dissolve the connection, and by drawing the bands too loosely at length break them. It is certain that the best method to cultivate this virtue, is by letting it, in some measure, make itself; a similitude of minds and of studies, and even sometimes a diversity of pursuits, will produce all the pleasures that arise from it. The current of tenderness widens as it proceeds; and two men imperceptibly find their hearts filled with good nature for each other, when they were at first only in pursuit of mirth or relaxation.

--_Oliver Goldsmith_.