Part 1

FOOD for the MIND:

OR, A NEW

RIDDLE-BOOK.

Compiled for the Use of The Great and the Little GOOD BOYS and GIRLS In _England_, _Scotland_, and _Ireland_.

By John-the-Giant-Killer, Esq;

Who Riddles tells, and merry Tale, O'er nut-brown Cakes and Mugs of Ale.

Homer.

Come riddle me riddle me riddle me Ree, None are so blind as they that wont see.

Puffendorf.

LONDON:

Printed for the Booksellers of Europe, Asia, Africa, and America; and sold by T. Carnan and F. Newbery, Jun. at Number 65, St. Paul's Church Yard. 1778.

_The Public are desired to observe, that_ F. Newbery, _at the Corner of_ St. Paul's Church-Yard _and_ Ludgate Street, _has not the least Concern in any of the late_ Mr. John Newbery's _Entertaining Books for Children; and, to prevent having paltry Compilation obtruded on them instead of_ Mr. John Newbery's _useful Publications, they are desired to be particularly careful to apply for them to_ T. Carnan and F. Newbery, Jun. (_Successors to the late_ Mr. John Newbery) _at_ Number 65, near the Bar in St. Paul's Church-Yard.

_PREFACE._

_The art of making riddles is so antique, that it bears date almost with our earliest accounts of time, and is a diversion with which_ Sampson, _the strongest of all mankind, amused himself. Nor has it been confined to common people, as a certain author supposes; for Kings, and even some of the wisest of them, are said to have been adepts in the science; for such was the ever-to-be-remembered King_ Solomon, _and such was his friend_ Hiram _the King of_ Tyre.

Riddling, _if I am not mistaken, is the art of both_ dissembling _and_ undissembling, _and, if what a great Politician has asserted to be true_, that he who knows not how to dissemble knows not how to reign, _this art must be eminently useful to Princes, and their Ministers, and not to them only, but to all those who are any ways connected with courts, or concerned in political transactions; for as people in high life do not always speak as they mean, nor promise what they intend to perform; or, in other words, as_ dissembling _is held in such high estimation among the Great, and practised with applause every day, the art of_ undissembling, _should, I think, be called in to the aid of those whose heads may render them subject to imposition.--A squeeze by the hand is a dumb riddle, which may induce any one unskilled in this art to dance attendance for years; while an adept takes the unmeaning sign to pieces, and, like a_ Free-mason, _returns the compliment by_ another _squeeze, to let the Ænigmatist know that he is in the secret. All Cyphers used by Politicians are Riddles; and were Ambassadors, and those to whom Cyphers are sent, but skilled in this science, few blunders would be made from that mystical manner of conveyance; for the meaning, without a key, would be as obvious to them, as to the most profound decypherer of them all._

_Not that I would have this science confined to political affairs;-- No, its utility is unbounded, and may be extended with propriety and benefit to every part of life, and every branch of learning. It is a kind of natural_ Logic, _which I should be glad to see adopted by our Universities in the room of that jargon they at present make us of; for as it consists in discovering truth under borrowed appearances, it may prove of wonderful advantage to the Scholar in the pursuit of his studies, by habituating the mind to separate all foreign ideas, and consequently preserving it from that grand source of error, the being deceived by false connections. And in common life how necessary is it for a man to carry this sort of knowledge about him?--Every knave is an Ænigma that you must unriddle before you can safely deal with him, and every fool may be fathomed. What is making love but making riddles? And what else are some of our treaties, and indeed some of our laws? Even our gravestones can't tell the naked truth: tombs you see are sort of riddles! a Politician is a walking Riddle; and so is a Physician and his prescription a professed Ænigma, intended only to be solved by the Apothecary.------This being the truth, then will any man tell me, that the art of riddling is not of the utmost consequence to society?_

_I shall conclude this preface in the words of a great author_: As this science contains the sum of all human policy, and as there is no passage thro' the world without sometimes mixing with fools and knaves; who would not chuse to be master of the ænigmatical art, in order, on proper occasions, to be able to lead aside craft and impertinence from their aim, by the convenient artifice of a prudent disguise?

A

NEW RIDDLE BOOK.

While young I'm as gay as the maidens in _May_, And when dress'd in my holiday cloaths, Am the joy of the swains, and the pride of the plains, And may vie with the belles and the beaux. But my time's of short date, and so hard is my fate, That when to full stature I'm grown, I'm cut down by the lout, toss'd and tumbled about, Till no signs of life can be shown.

Four wings I have, Which swiftly mount on high On sturdy pinions, Yet I never fly; And tho' my body often moves around, Upon the self-same spot I'm always found; And, like a nurse who chews the infants meat, I chew for man before that he can eat.

With words unnumber'd I a-bound, In me mankind take much delight, In me great store of learning's found, Yet I can neither read nor write.

The world I view in little space I'm restless, ever changing place Nothing I eat, but by my pow'r, Procure what all mankind devour.

My body is both plump and round, With comely neck and breast, No brighter creature would be found Were I but oftner dress'd: But daily I am wearied so And my employment such, Black as any negro go, Nor scarce am fit to touch: Upon my mistress morn and eve, I constantly attend; Yet many a blow and nick-name have, Tho' I did ne'er offend.

When mortals are involv'd in ills, I sing with mournful voice; If mirth their hearts in gladness fills, I celebrate their joys. And as the lark with warbling throat, Ascends upon the wing; So I lift up my chearful note, And as I mount I sing.

A tall and slender shape I bear, Nor lady's skin's more white or fair: My life is short, and doth decay So soon it seldom lasts a day. If in the evening brought to light, I make my exit in the night; Yet to mankind I'm useful ever, And many hidden things discover; Which makes all those who round me tend, Oft with a sigh lament my end.

I'm of the same materials made as you, Have native ignorance and beauty too; But when I fly for safety to your arms, You to a foreigner resign my charms; He, to defile me thinks it no offence; And rudely robs me of my innocence; With inward rage I burn--but hug the foe, And breathe out vengeance wherefo'er I go. Nay, while thus lovingly we seem to agree, I serve him just as _Jove_ did _Semele_, For e'er from me the thoughtless _sot_ retires, By my embrace consum'd he soon expires.

_The_ HIGHWAY.

When _Cæsar_ did this Isle invade, I first experienc'd royal aid: Nay, now to Majesty belong, Tho' subject to the vulgar throng; Who with uncivil usage treat, And trample me beneath their feet; With heavy burdens me oppress, And money gain by my distress; Yet all their insults I endure, While they my given bruises cure: I am in every country found, And traverse all the kingdom round: Say what's my name, that's so well known, I am a common proverb grown.

I can money procure, For the rich and the poor, If I open my mouth pretty wide; So that there's not a house, Worth the skip of a louse, But will for me a lodging provide; Tho' with Tom, Will, or Bob, I am licens'd to rob, And plunder my country all over; Yet, however unjust, I keep true to my trust, And ne'er will my patron discover: When engag'd for the great, Or the minions of state, You'd be shock'd at the havock I make; For I hack, cut, and slay, Whate'er falls in my way, And send it to _hell_ for their sake.

_The_ EYE-LIDS.

In courts or cottages we may be found; Our skirts with fringe of various dyes are bound; And as we were by providence design'd, A guard from harm t' a fav'rite applejoin'd.

We ne'er rove long, nor far asunder stray, But meet and part a thousand times a day: When dark, like loving couples, we unite, And cuddle close together every night.

TIME.

I was before the world began, And shall for ever last; Ere father _Adam_ was a man, Or out of _Eden_ cast. Your mirthful moments I attend, And mitigate your grief; Th' industrious peasant I befriend; To pris'ners give relief. Make much of me if you are wise, And use me while you may; For you will lose me in a trice, As I for no man stay.

Tho' a cook, I'm so lean, That my ribs may be seen, Yet I care not a farthing for that; For when victuals I dress, All about me confess, They are cover'd all over with fat.

No twins could e'er with us compare, So like in shape and size; Our bodies are like ermin fair As black as jet our eyes: But tho' so like in ev'ry feature, We rival brothers be; Yet so obdurate is our nature, We often disagree. Sometimes we play the friendly part, And sometimes act the foe; Now transient happiness impart, Then cause a future woe: Thousands by us have curs'd their fate, Plung'd in the gulph of sin; Happy the youth who shuns the bait, And dreads the fatal gin.

_A_ DOLL.

Like Lady Patch, in diff'rent dress, I either sex can ape; And like her, all mankind confess, Have comeliness and shape: Had she the innocence of me, And I her air and parts, She would a perfect goddess be, And I should gain more hearts.

What though I have a hundred eyes, Which my beholders may surprise, Yet I could never see: What if I fine and gay appear, And sometimes gold and silver wear, I'm slav'd by industry. Both male and female me admire, Or for my service or attire; And I while young am priz'd. But when I into years am grown, And with hard labour quite worn down, I am by both despis'd.

There was a thing a full month old, When _Adam_ was no more; But 'ere that thing was five weeks old, _Adam_ was years five score.

Tho' you seem of me fond--for my safety provide, And when you walk out take me close by your side; Yet you oft use me ill, which I take in good part, Nor e'er murmur or sigh though I'm stabb'd to the heart.

What being's most despis'd by man, And does him all the good he can; Who bore the greatest Prince on earth, That gave to righteousness new birth; Who does sometimes o'er death prevail, And health restore when doctors fail.

We dwell in cottages of straw, And labour much for little gains; Sweet meat from us our masters draw, And then with death reward our pains.

Great virtues have I, There's none can deny, And to this I shall mention an odd one; When apply'd to the tail, 'Tis seldom I fail To make a good boy of a bad one.

Two twins we are, and let it not surprise, Alike in ev'ry feature, shape and size; We're square or round, of brass or iron made, Sometimes of wood, yet useful found in trade: But to conclude, for all our daily pains, We by the neck are often hung in chains.

A head and body large I have, Stomach and bowels too; One winding gut of mighty length, Where all my food goes through; But what's more strange, my food I take In at the lower end; And all, just like a drunken rake, Out at my mouth I send.

What force and strength could not get through, I with a gentle touch can do; And many in the streets would stand, Were I not as a friend at hand.

Homer of old, as stories tell, His _Iliad_ put in a nut-shell; But did you know what I conceal,-- Suppose a kingdom, common weal, At stake,--Here all the springs are found, Which set the wheel a whirling round. In me a thousand mischiefs lie, A thousand pleasures I supply; In me are bid affairs of state. In me the secrets of the great; In me the merchant lays his dust, In me the tradesman puts his trust; But hold--my being to explore, Know I'm inanimate--no more.

Tho' light my body is and small, Tho' I have wings to fly withal, And thro' the air may rove; Yet was I not by nature press'd In ease and indolence I'd rest; And never choose to move. 'Tis beating makes me diligent; When beat and on an errand sent, I hurry to and fro; And like an idle boy in school, Whom nothing but the rod can rule, Improve at every blow.

With a badge on my back, Of red, orange, and black, I travel the nation all over, And however abus'd, Without violence us'd, Will never my bus'ness discover; I'm of service to state, To the poor and the great, To the tradesman, mechanic and beau; Some of whom I attend Ev'ry day as a friend, But to others bring sorrow and woe: All kindly receive me, And you may believe me, Scarce ever refuse me my pay; For whoever does this, Take it well or amiss, With him not a moment I stay.

It foams without anger, It flies without wings, It cuts without edge, And without tongue it sings.

In spring I look gay, Deck'd in comely array, In summer more cloathing I wear: When colder it grows, I fling off my cloaths, And in winter quite naked appear.

Midst numbers round I spy'd a beauty fair, More charming than her circling sisters were: With blushing cheek she tempting of me stood, At last I cropt her bloom and suck'd her blood; Sweet meat she was, but neither flesh nor bone, Yet in her tender heart she had a stone.

1.

I'm captain of a party small, Whose number is but _five_; But yet do great exploits, for _all_, And ev'ry man alive.

2.

With _Adam_ I was seen to live, Ere he knew what was evil; But no connexion have with _Eve_, The serpent or the devil.

3.

I on our _Saviour's Laws_ attend, And fly deceit and vice; Patriot and Protestant befriend, But Infidels despise.

4.

_Matthew_ and _Mark_ both me have got; But to prevent vexation, St. _Luke_ and _John_ possess me not, Tho' found in ev'ry nation.

My form is aukward, let me tell ye, Long my legs and large my belly, Webb'd my feet and short my waist, My head with orb of glory grac'd; My neck indented makes the show Of breast protuberant below; And what your wonder more commands I use my feet instead of hands; Tho' such my shape, my station's warm, And many I preserve from harm; So that the belles oft me caress, And beaux sometimes my aid confess: Hence learn that all things have their use, That art or nature does produce.

Two bodies have I, Tho' both join'd in one: The stiller I stand, The faster I run.

Why should I my features sham, Why ugly to a proverb am, Fierce, obdurate, cruel, strong, Frightful to the old and young; Yet, by early education, Hit the taste of ev'ry nation, Dance and exercise my staff; But to make spectators laugh; Often ride before the great, Oft with ministers of state; And tho' aukward is my mein, I often on the stage am seen: But to raise your wonder higher, I to greater heights aspire; At table I my Lord attend, Please him and gratify his friend.

For vigilance and courage true I've no superior, equals few; Which makes me by th' industrious priz'd, But by the indolent despis'd; Bold and alert I meet the foe, In all engagements valour show; And if he proves too proud to yield, One falls before we quit the field: But tho' with these perfections great I am endu'd--such is my fate; They seize and to a stake me tie, And bastinade me till I die.

I know my owner, serve my feeder, But have no notion of my breeder; Who sought the means to change my nature, And from a fierce unruly creature, Made me as useful to the nation, As some who move in higher station; For I, with gratitude abundant, My owner's praise set forth redundant; And fraught with virtues deem'd inherent, May well be call'd the King's vicegerent; As I his subjects render stronger, And die that they may live the longer.

To king and subject I assistance lend; In war a firm ally, in peace a friend; To their diversions am a perfect slave, At home submissive, but in battle brave; When the shrill trumpet sounds I take the field, Laugh at the pointed spear and glitt'ring shield; Bold and intrepid meet the daring foe; Willing and able to repeat the blow; To peer or prelate I give health and ease; The lady, merchant, and the peasant please: Nay,--of such gen'ral use is my employment, Without me life would scarce be worth enjoyment.

I from abroad a pris'ner brought, Was soon the English language taught, And pleas'd my lord so well, He introduc'd me to his spouse, Where I in comfort dwell; For when the sky's serene and clear, I walk abroad to take the air, And to observe what passes; Where learning half the tricks in town, I make remarks on ev'ry clown, And laugh at lads and lasses: When tired with that I call a coach, (Bold and regardless of reproach) Then whistle, sing, and cough; And having teaz'd the man awhile, With the imposture pleas'd I smile, And bid the knave walk off.

My patron is wisdom--If wisdom you prize, In me put your confidence, borrow my eyes; Who into a millstone can see full as far, As the best of you all, by the light of a star; Cou'd the _Royal Society_ purchase my skill, Or the wise men of _Gresham_ like me have their will; They ne'er had admitted pretenders to science, And for learned members bid _Europe_ defiance. In short--had some wise ones but my penetration, It had long ago much better far'd with the nation.

In me behold the height of human art, Hear what the elements to me impart; My origin I owe to mother _Earth_, _Fire_ was the midwife forwarded my birth; _Air_ gave me wings, and added to my voice, And _Neptune_ made me his peculiar choice, To me committed his dominions vast: _Jove_ wav'd his sceptre, and the fiat pass'd; I took possession without more delay, And hold the liquid empire to this day.

I am short, let me tell ye, But have a big belly, Which a boddice lac'd round me restrains; I have also a head, But may truly be said, To carry no guts in my brains: My skull is so soft, That when taken aloft, You would swear I should soon shake asunder; For which I am beat, Till set down on my feet, And roar all the time loud as thunder, But the great ones of late, Who all pity'd my fate, Resolving to alter my station, Made me known to the fair, Who can now with an air, Call upon me for their recreation.

I in gold and silver dress'd, Am by belles and beaux caress'd; Who on each day attend, As their counsellor and friend, Here they practice harmless guiles, Artful glances, killing smiles: Here they all their beauty show, Here they string the bended bow: Here the quiver's fraught with darts, Which they aim at lovers hearts; And never make a visit twice, Without asking my advice.

I am white at the neck as _Susannah_ the fair, Tho' my body sometimes is all cover'd with hair; As a flounder am flat, as a beetle am blind, Yet good services do to the race of mankind: The copses and coverts I traverse each day, To drive from their holds and destroy beasts of prey; Having two rows of teeth for engagement design'd, They all fly before me like chaff before wind; Now tell but my name, ye mammas or misses, And those who stand by shall reward you with kisses.

One winter's evening very dark, As I cross'd o'er _St. James's_ Park, I got an odd but civil friend To light me to my journey's end; His cap to me did plain appear Like that of the fierce grenadier; Black was the cloak which wrapp'd him round, And his feet never touch'd the ground; He seem'd of the infernal race, With flaming fire about his face; While from his nostrils issu'd smoke, Yet all the way he never spoke: Thus guarded I was carry'd home; But soon as to the door I come, An opake body interpos'd, And the surprizing scene was clos'd.

When our master or mistress my service befriends, I keep moving all day to make them amends; I inform them when breakfast and dinner is ready, And am in my duty surprisingly steady; I speak when I'm bid, and if not hold my tongue, Thus accomplish'd, I'm welcome to old and to young; Ev'n for their devotion instructions I give, And can teach the extravagant heir how to live; But with them to the playhouse when I take a trip, If not narrowly watch'd I oft give them the slip; But tho' when well us'd I'm to all very civil, When slighted I'm sullen and false as the devil.

Tho' good fellows we are, We can't hope to be sav'd; From our very first day, To our last we're enslav'd, Our office is hardest, And food sure the worst, Being cramm'd with raw flesh, Till we're ready to burst; Tho' low in our state, Ev'n Kings we support; And at balls have The principal share of the sport.