SCENE II.

_SIR JOHN'S Apartments in the Hotel._

_Enter FIRST WAITER, introducing COLONEL EPAULETTE in an English Dress._

_Colonel E._ Only tell Sir John and my Lady de Bull, dat Colonel Epaulette is come to vait on dem.

_Waiter._ Sir!

_Colonel E._ Dat Colonel Epaulette is come to vait on dem.

_Waiter._ I shall, sir.

[_Exit._

_Colonel E._ By all I can hear, de must be vile bourgeois, but on account of my lord's recommendation, I must show dem some civility, and Squire Tallyho tells me, dey have a fine daughter too--Ay, my English dress is lucky upon de occasion--dey must be vonderfully pleased vid it. Lepoche, my taileur, has not been in London for noting, and I am much oblige to Mr. Lackland for his advice in my affairs--I hope dey did tell my Ladyde Bull too, dat I vas coming to wait on her.

[_Retires._

_Enter SIR JOHN BULL, in a passion, and ROBIN._

_Sir J. B._ You've been, sirrah, but where have you been?

_Robin._ Why, wasn't I sent for the French tailor?

_Sir J. B._ The French tailor! Oh, to take measure of me--well, where is he?

_Robin._ I don't know, he came into the house with me.

_Sir J. B._ Very well; since it must be so, go, and send him here.--[_Exit ROBIN._] Ha! ha! ha! any thing to please mademoiselle my wife, since I must be a jackanapes, and have a French tailor, ha! ha! ha! Oh, 'gad here he is!

_Colonel E._ Oh, dis must be Sir John--[_Aside._] Sir, I am your most obedient servant.

_Sir J. B._ Servant, friend!

_Colonel E._ I presume, you are Sir John de Bull.

_Sir J. B._ Ay.

_Colonel E._ Sir, I have receive a lettre, from my friend de Duke----

_Sir J. B._ His friend the Duke--what a grand tailor it is!

[_Aside._

_Colonel E._ I ave great reason to tink I am dear to him, and he recommend you to me in de highest terms.

_Sir J. B._ Sir, if you are dear to your friends, no doubt but your terms will be high to me.

_Colonel E._ Sir!

_Sir J. B._ However, since my wife will have it so--out with your shears.

_Colonel E._ Sir!

_Sir J. B._ Let's see your book of patterns.

_Colonel. E._ Pattern!

_Sir J. B._ Yes, to chuse my colour.

_Colonel E._ I carry de colour! vat, you take me for an ensign?--but I excuse, as de custom of your country gives a privilege--

_Sir J. B._ I can't answer for my country, but you shall have my custom--Now, pray, friend, how many men may you have?

_Colonel E._ About a tousand.

_Sir J. B._ [_Aside._] A thousand journeymen! must have great business.

_Colonel E._ About a tousand in my regiment.

_Sir J. B._ Oh, you work for a regiment?

_Colonel E._ Vork! I no understand vat he mean--Sir, de ladies----

_Sir J. B._ You understand the work for the ladies?

_Colonel E._ Monsieur, in compliance vid the lettre of his grace, I shall show every civilite, and, if you please, vill ave de honour of introduce my Lady de Bull, and mademoiselle, her daughter, to de prince.

_Sir. J. B._ You! My Lady Bull introduced by a tailor!

_Colonel E._ Tailor! Aha! Sir, if you vere not an Englishman, your life--your life, sir, should answer for dis affront--but from my respect to your country, I pardon you.

_Sir J. B._ Affront! What! are you above your business, you proud monkey, you?

_Colonel E._ You are under some gross error, or you are a person void of manners--if de former, you are a fool by nature; if de latter, a clown by habit--and as both is beneath my resentment, I sall look to my noble friend for an explanation of dis affront offered to Colonel Epaulette.

[_Exit._

_Sir J. B._ Colonel Epaulette! Oh, the devil! what a blunder I have made!--[_Calls out._] My lady--my Lady Bull!

_Enter LADY BULL._

_Lady B._ What's the matter--what's the matter now with you, Sir John?

_Sir J. B._ The mischief to play--here has been Colonel Epaulette, and I unfortunately mistook him for the French tailor that I expected, to take orders for my new clothes.

_Lady B._ Sir John, why will you ever attempt to speak to persons of distinction?--Take a Colonel of the Gendesarmes for a tailor--how absurd!--[_Calls._] Who waits?--Sir John, pray stay and explain this affair.

_Sir J. B._ Me!--damme, I wouldn't face him again for the pay of his whole regiment.

[_Exit._

_Lady B._ [_Passionately._] Who waits, I say?

_Enter ROBIN._

Show that gentleman up stairs.

_Robin._ Who, madam?

_Lady B._ The tailor, as your master calls him.

_Robin._ The tailor--oh, here he comes, madam.

[_Exit._

_Lady B._ Ay, here is the colonel, endeed--no regimentals--yes, I heard of his dressing entirely in the English manner.

_Enter LEPOCHE._

[_Courtesies very respectfully._] Sir, I almost blush to see you, and scarce know how to apologize for Sir John's mistake.

_Lep._ Madam, I vait upon Sir John, to----

_Lady B._ Really, sir, he's ashamed to appear in your presence, after----but he has contracted such unfashionable habits, that he----

_Lep._ Madam, I vill equip him vid de fashionable habit, dat he need not shame to appear in de royal presence.

_Lady B._ Sir, you have had a loss to-day?

_Lep._ Oui, I lose my lodger.

_Lady B._ By this day's running?

_Lep._ Oui, they did run away.

_Lady B._ Sir, I mean the match.

_Lep._ Oui, dey make de match.

_Lady B._ But, sir, I wish better success to your Joan.

_Lep._ [_Aside._] Success to my Joan!

_Lady B._ But, for all your turf amusements, I dare say, you are a great man in the cabinet--in committees--privy councils, and board of works.

_Lep._ Board of vorks! [_Aside._] Ay, she mean my shopboard.

_Lady B._ And, I warrant, you are in all the deep French political secrets--you know all the ministers' measures.

_Lep._ Oui, I take all deir measures.

_Lady B._ We were informed, sir, in Paris, that you were much with the prince.

_Lep._ Oui, I am quite free in de family.

_Lady B._ And, when it suits you to introduce us to his highness--

_Lep._ Me? non!--de prince? I could introduce you to de head butler indeed--

_Lady B._ Introduce us to the butler!--Ay, ay, from Sir John's rustic behaviour, the colonel here, thinks us fit for no better company.

_Enter SIR JOHN, LEPOCHE takes out Pattern-Book._

Oh, Sir John, I have been endeavouring to apologize for you, to the colonel here.

_Lep._ [_Looks about._] Colonel!

_Sir J. B._ Egad, I fancy this is the tailor, indeed.

_Lep._ I am, at your service, sir.

_Lady B._ How!

_Sir J. B._ Ha! ha! ha! My lady, why will you pretend to speak to persons of distinction?--mistake a tailor, for a colonel, and a gendesarmes! ha! ha! ha!

_Lady B._ A tailor! then you're a very impudent little fellow!

_Lep._ Vell, miss, your moder voud not call me so.

_Sir J. B._ Her mother, you villain!

_Lady B._ Sir John, pray don't abuse the young man.

_Sir J. B._ Abuse! You little rascal, how dare you have the impudence to be taken for a colonel?--Get away, this instant, or, I'll crop you, with your own shears--Get along, you rascal.

[_Pushes out LEPOCHE._

_Enter ROBIN._

_Robin._ Madam, there's Miss Dolly gone off,--and Mrs. Casey says, it's upon some marriage scheme, or other.

_Lady B._ My daughter!

_Sir J. B._ My Doll!

_Robin._ And from what I can learn from Squire Tallyho's man, she's to meet his master.

_Lady B._ There's your honest Yorkshireman, Sir John Bull!

_Robin._ I think they say, sir, she's gone to Colonel Epaulette's lodge.

_Sir J. B._ Ay, there's your honourable Frenchman, my Lady Bull!--but, come along--I'll have my daughter!--Rob me of my child!--Oh, for a search warrant!--Oh, for an English jury! Come along.

[_Exeunt._