Part 7

Let us now discuss, in detail, those particulars of which it is the duty of a woman to be well informed. What are her employments? She is charged with the education of her children--of the boys, till a certain age--of the girls till they are married; of the conduct, manners, and morals of her domestic attendants; of the whole detail of household expenses; of the means of managing every thing with credit and economy; and sometimes, of the regulation of farms and the receipt of profits which arise from them.

Women, as well as men, should adapt their pursuits in literature and science to their situations and functions in life; and according to their occupations, should be their studies. We must, therefore, confine the instruction of women to the foregoing circumstances. But a curious woman, wishing to pry into every thing, may fancy that these instructions will confine her curiosity within narrow limits indeed--she is mistaken, because she knows not the importance and extent of the particulars in which I wish her to be instructed.

What discernment is necessary to know the disposition and genius of each of her children! to find out the proper mode of conduct so as to discover their humours, inclinations, and talents! to check those passions which are born with them, to inculcate good maxims, and to cure them of their errors! What prudence should she possess, to acquire and preserve authority over them, without forfeiting their confidence and esteem! Has she not also need of observing and thoroughly knowing those people whom she places near them? Undoubtedly she has: a mother of a family ought to be completely instructed in religion, and to possess a mature firm mind, adapted to, and experienced in, the government of her children.

Can it be supposed that women ought _not_ to be explicitly and _formally instructed_ in these duties, because they naturally fall into them during the lives of their husbands, who are generally engaged in business from home? Or, if widows, they still attend to them more closely? St. Paul generally attaches the salvation of mothers to the good education of daughters; for by these, he assures them, they will be saved.

I do not here take upon me to explain all that a woman ought to know for the education of her daughters; because such a memorial would make them sufficiently feel the extent of that knowledge which it is their duty to obtain.

To the government of families, add ECONOMY. The greater part of women neglect it as a mean consideration, fit only for country folks or farmers; or, at best, for innkeepers and housekeepers. Women nursed in the lap of affluence, luxury, and idleness, not only neglect, but despise, this domestic virtue; and seem to be forgetful of a middle state between the rusticity of a peasant, and the wildness of a Canadian savage. If you speak to them of the sale of corn, of the cultivation of lands, of the different kinds of revenue, of the receipt or raising of rents and other seignoral rights, of the best method of laying out farms, and appointing receivers, they imagine that you wish to reduce them to occupations, unworthy of their rank and character.

Ignorance is the offspring of their contempt for economy. The ancient Greeks and Romans, so distinguished for their ability and politeness, studied economy with the utmost care: some of their finest writers, from their own experience, have composed works which we still possess, and in which they give an account of the latest improvements of agriculture. It is well known that even their conquerors did not disdain to work in the field; and instances have come down to us in which the splendor of a triumph was followed by the care and conduct of a plough. All this is so foreign to our own customs and manners, that we should not credit it if it were not supported by historical truth. But is it not natural that the defence or augmentation of a country should be subordinate to the ultimate object of cultivating it peaceably? Of what advantage is victory, if it enable us not to gather the fruits of peace? After all, solidity of intellect consists in wishing to be exactly informed of the way in which those things operate, which constitute the foundations of human life: the greatest occurrences are regulated by this principle. The strength and felicity of a country consists not in the possession of provinces badly cultivated, but in the enjoyment of those productions of the earth which are necessary and sufficient for the sustenance of a numerous people.

Without doubt it requires a more elevated and comprehensive genius to be instructed and well informed in all the particulars relating to economy, and to be thereby able to regulate an entire family (which is a little republic), than to play, talk of the fashions, and be expert in all the little polite arts of conversation. That is a contemptible mind indeed, which aspires not beyond perfection in the talent of conversation: one sees, on all sides, women whose discourse is full of sound sense and solid maxims--while this conduct is replete with frivolousness and absurdity--the effect of not applying by times to better pursuits.

But take care of the opposite defect: women run a risk of being in extremes in every thing. It would be advisable for them, from their infancy, to have the management of some trifling affair--to keep accounts--to see the mode of bargaining for what they purchase, and to know how each thing should be made to answer a good use. Take care, also, that economy borders not on avarice: shew them, in detail, all the absurdities attendant on this latter passion. Tell them that "avarice gains little, and dishonors itself greatly." A reasonable mind will seek, in a frugal and laborious life, only how to avoid the shame and injustice attached to a prodigal and ruinous conduct. Superfluous expenses are to be retrenched as they enable a person to devote a portion of money to satisfy the claims of benevolence, friendship, and charity: great gain is frequently the result of seasonable forbearance: good order and management, and not sordid savings, are the source of profit. Do not fail to expose the gross error of those female economists who pertinaceously forbid a mold candle, while they suffer their whole affairs to be subjected to the knavery or rapacity of a steward. Respect propriety as well as economy. Accustom young people to do nothing in a slovenly and disorderly manner, and to remark the least disarrangement in a house. Make them also sensible that nothing so much contributes to propriety and economy, as the keeping of every thing in its proper place. This rule appears too trifling to mention; nevertheless it goes a great way if it be rigidly observed. For instance--are you in want of any thing? not a moment is lost in finding it--there is neither trouble, disputation, nor embarrassment attending its search: you put your hand immediately upon it, and when satisfied, replace it in the situation where you found it. This _nice order_ constitutes one of the essential parts of propriety; and every eye is struck with the neat appearance of so exact an arrangement. Moreover, a particular place allotted to each article, not only has a pleasing appearance, but, in reality, tends to the preservation of that article. It is _used_ less than it otherwise would be--it is not so frequently spoilt by accident--it is even more respected and treasured: for example, a vase would never be covered with dust, or become liable to be broken, if it were instantly put away after being done with. A passion for arranging things orderly, produces a love of neatness; and this will appear very advantageous, if it be considered that by such means servants are never encouraged in idleness and confusion. Again, something is gained by making their service prompt and easy, and depriving us of an opportunity of becoming impatient and impetuous, which is generally the case when things cannot be found from confusion and irregularity.

At the same time, avoid the excess of politeness and propriety. When propriety is within moderation, it is a virtue; but when we consult too much our own tastes and fancies, it is converted into a littleness of mind. Good taste rejects excessive delicacy: it treats little matters _as_ little ones, and is not hurt at any unpleasant consequences resulting therefrom. Ridicule, before children, those knick-knacks and gewgaws, of which some women are prodigiously fond, and which lead them insensibly into unwarrantable expenses. Accustom young people to a propriety and decorum which is simple and easy of practice--shew them the best way of managing things--but shew them also the advantage of slighting them. Tell them how paltry and contemptible it is to grumble if a dish be badly seasoned, if a curtain be unevenly folded, or a chair be too high or too low.

It is undoubtedly better to be naturally coarse, than to have an overweening delicacy in matters of little moment. This pernicious delicacy, if not repressed in women of understanding, is more dangerous as it regards conversation than every thing else: to females of this stamp, the greater part of mankind appears insipid or fatiguing: the least deviation from politeness is monstrous: and they are always ridiculing and disgusted. Make such women know betimes that nothing is so injudicious as judging superficially of people by their manners, instead of examining the very bottom of their intellect, their sentiments and useful qualities. Convince them, by a variety of proofs, how much a country woman, with a coarse or even ridiculous manner, but with a good heart and sound understanding, is more estimable than a courtisan, who, under an acquired politeness, hides an ungrateful and unjust heart, capable of every meanness and dissimulation. Observe also, that those characters are always weak which incline to idleness and disgust. There is no one whose conversation is so bad, as that some good may not, occasionally, be drawn from it; and although a person at liberty would prefer choosing the best characters to converse with, yet there is some consolation, when reduced to converse with inferior characters, that we may make them talk on subjects that they understand, from which, perhaps, some information may be gained. But let us now return to those particulars in which a girl should be instructed.

CHAP. XII.

_Continuation of the Duties of Women._

To the duties previously enumerated, may be added the art of _choosing and retaining servants_. We should employ such as have honor and religion: their offices should be distinctly ascertained: the time and trouble which each thing requires, the manner of doing it well, and the expense attending it, should also be considered. It would be absurd (for instance) to find fault with a servant if you wished her to dress any thing quicker than it could be dressed; and if you have not some knowledge of the quantity and price of the ingredients which compose dishes, you will be liable to become the dupe or the scourge of your domestics; so that a knowledge of these matters is essential to a mistress of a family.

It is also necessary to know their humours, to manage their tempers, and to regulate in a christian-like manner this little household republic, which is, in general, sufficiently turbulent. Authority, is absolutely essential in this respect; for the more unreasonable servants are, the more they should be made obedient by fear: but as they are your brethren in Christ, and members of his kingdom, a rigid authority should never be exercised towards them, unless previous persuasion is found to fail.

Strive, therefore, to be beloved by your servants, without descending to low familiarity; enter not into conversation with them, but at the same time do not be backward in occasionally speaking, with kindness and affability, respecting their wants and concerns; and let them be assured of finding in you a compassionate counsellor. Do not check them too eagerly in their faults--appear neither surprised nor dissatisfied, provided you think them not incorrigible: let them gently hear reason; and submit frequently to little losses by their service, that you may be able coolly to convince them, that it is not from impetuosity and chagrin that you correct them, but rather for their own, than your, interest.

It would be no easy task to accustom _young women of fashion_ to adopt a conduct, at once so amiable and benevolent. The impatience and ardor of youth, united with the false idea they are apt to entertain of their birth, often induce them to treat their domestics pretty nearly the same as they do their horses--they imagine that servants are any thing but what they really are--and made solely for the convenience of their masters. Endeavour to shew how revolting these principles are to modesty in yourself, and to humanity towards your neighbour.

Let it be comprehended that men are not born to be slaves--that it is a brutal error to suppose our fellow mortals are created to flatter our laziness and pride; that servitude being established against the natural equality of mankind, we should endeavour to soften it as much as possible; that masters themselves, though above their servants in situation, are not free from errors, and therefore should not expect an exemption from them in domestics; especially as they have not had the benefit of instruction and good example--and lastly, if servants become good for nothing by serving ill, masters also, frequently, become so, by being served well: for a facility of accommodation in every wish, and an immediate gratification in every desire, only softens and effeminates the soul, and renders it peevish and irritable under every trifling inconvenience.

Nothing is so well calculated to effect this domestic government, as the being _early_ initiated in it. Give a young woman something to manage herself, on condition of her rendering you some account of it: this confidence will delight her, for youth is highly pleased when it is thought worthy of confidence, and capable of doing serious business. The example of Queen Margaret is a fine illustration of this. That princess informs us, in her memoirs, that the most sensible pleasure she ever experienced, was in seeing the queen, her mother, begin to converse with her, when she was very young, as with a person of years and maturity--she felt transported with joy on entering into the secrets of state with the queen and her brother the Duke of Anjou, reflecting that, not long ago, she had been immersed in the pastimes of children. Overlook the faults of a child in her first attempts at these things, and sacrifice something in order that she may ultimately gain instruction. Make her sensible, in a mild manner, of what she should have said or done, to avoid the inconveniencies into which she has been betrayed. Relate to her what has happened to yourself, and be not anxious to suppress faults, similar to her own, which you committed when young. Thus will you inspire her with confidence; without which, all education is but a formal wearisome task.

Teach a girl to read and write correctly. It is a shameful thing, but too common, to see women of understanding and good breeding, who cannot accurately pronounce what they read: either they stammer, or have a sort of singing or whine in their reading--whereas good reading consists in a simple and natural, but firm and even, tone of voice. They are, moreover, sometimes grossly deficient in orthography; either as to the manner of forming, or connecting, their letters when writing: at any rate they should be taught to write straight, and in a character neat and legible.

A girl should know the grammar of her own language; not, however, that she is to be taught by rule, as schoolboys are taught the Latin language--but that she be used to distinguish the different tenses, in an obvious and easy manner; to make use of proper terms; and to explain their thoughts, in a way, at once clear and concise. By these means you will enable her one day to teach her own children to speak accurately without previous study. It is well known that in ancient Rome, the mother of the Gracchi contributed greatly, by a sound education, to improve the language of her children, who became afterwards such eminent characters.

Females should also be instructed in the first four rules of arithmetic; namely, in addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division; which will be of essential use to them in keeping accounts. This, though a very important, is a very disagreeable, occupation with many people; but early habits, joined to a facility of quick reckoning, by the help of rules, will overcome every antipathy, and enable us to arrange the most perplexed accounts. No one can be ignorant that a correct method of keeping them is often productive of good order throughout an establishment.

It will be prudent also to give them a knowledge of the principal rules of justice: for example, of the difference between a gift and a thing bequeathed; between a contract, an entail, and a copartnership of inheritance; the general rules of law, or the particular customs of a country, which render these things valid; what is exclusive, and what is common, property; what goods are moveable, and what immoveable. When women marry, they will find a knowledge of these things of great importance to them.

But, at the same time, convince them, how incapable they are of entering deeply into the subtilties of law: how much the law itself, by the weakness of human reason, is subject to obscurity, and doubtful rules: how it varies: how uncertain every thing is that depends upon judicial decision, clear and upright as it may seem: how ruinous and insupportable is the law's delay, even in the most obvious cases.[13]

[13] I have here omitted two or three passages of the original, because they describe such incongruity and perniciousness in the law of France, as cannot be applicable to the modes observed in the British courts of judicature. _T._

All this is of importance for women to know, in order to abate their fondness for lawsuits, and to prevent their trusting implicitly to counsellors, who would dissuade them from peaceful measures. When they are widows, or mistresses of their estates in any other way, they may do well to hear their agents, but not blindly follow them. They should act with the utmost caution in any suits their agents may advise them to undertake; and consult men of greater ability, and such as are more inclined to recommend the advantages of compromise: in short they should be assured, that the best ability in law causes, is, to foresee the mischiefs of them, and to know how they may be avoided.

Young women of rank and large fortune should be acquainted with the duties more particularly attached to great estates: tell them therefore, what should be done, to prevent the abuses, violence, tricks and treacheries so common in the country; how they ought to establish little schools and charitable societies, for the relief of the sick and needy: shew them also the handicraft trades, that may be set on foot in certain countries, to help the poor; and above all, how they may be taught useful knowledge and christian conduct; this however will lead to a detail too long to be here discussed.

[14]These instructions having been attended to, I think it may not be improper to allow young women, according to their leisure and capacity, the perusal of profane or classical writers, provided there be nothing in them to inflame or mislead the passions: these will be a means also of giving them a distaste for plays and romances. Put into their hands, therefore, the Greek and Roman historians; they will there see prodigies of courage and disinterestedness: let them be acquainted likewise with the history of their _own country_, which has its excellencies also, and with that of the neighbouring or foreign countries, judiciously written. All this will serve to enlarge their understandings, and to fill their hearts with noble sentiments, provided you guard against vanity and affectation. It is generally thought a necessary part of a good education, for a young lady of rank to be taught the Italian and Spanish languages: for my part I see no use in these acquirements, unless the lady is to be connected with some Spanish or Italian princess:[15] besides these two languages often lead them to books that are dangerous, and which might increase the faults to which they are liable; there is much to lose, and little to be gained, by these studies. Latin might be of some use; even in cultivating the elegancies of language, they will find the Latin more perfect than the Italian and Spanish, which are full of quaint conceits, and a wantonness of imagination bordering on extravagance: Latin however should be taught to young women of good judgment and discreet conduct only; who will set no greater value on this study than it deserves; who will renounce all vain curiosity, and have no other view than their own edification.

[14] Another passage of the original is also here omitted; because it relates to the observance of certain feudal rites, and to a knowledge of real property, which can be of no service to a woman in this country. _T._

[15] Fenelon is certainly fastidious when he censures the acquirement of the Italian language, which is one of the most soft and pleasing of any in modern Europe. Nor does it at all follow that a knowledge of the Italian language should lead to a knowledge of improper books--the same argument may be applied to any other language. _T._

I would allow also, but with great care, the perusal of works of eloquence and poetry, if I saw they had a taste for them, and solidity of judgment enough to confine themselves to their real use: but fearful of agitating too much their lively imaginations, I would have the utmost caution observed in this respect: every thing that may awaken the sentiments of love, seems to me the more dangerous in proportion as it is softened and disguised.

MUSIC and PAINTING require the same precautions; all these arts are of the same taste and tendency: as to music, we know that the ancients thought nothing was more pernicious to a well regulated republic, than to admit an _effeminate melody_: it enervates men, unbending and sensualizing their minds: languishing and passionate tones please only, by subjecting the soul to the seducement of the senses, till it becomes intoxicated by them. It was on this account, that the magistrates of Sparta broke all the instruments, the harmony of which was too delicate; and this was one of the most important parts of their policy. On the same account Plato strictly forbids all the luxurious tones of the Asiatic music; and christians, who ought never to pursue pleasure only for the sake of pleasure, are under much stronger obligations to guard themselves against these dangerous entertainments.

Poetry and music, _directed to their true end_, may be of excellent use to excite in the soul, lively and sublime sentiments of virtue. How many of the books of scripture of the poetical kind, according to all appearance were sung by the Hebrews. Songs were the first memorials which preserved more distinctly, the tradition of divine truths among men, before the invention of writing. We see how powerful music has been among the heathen nations, in elevating their minds above the sentiments of the vulgar: and the church has employed it,[16] for the consolation of her children, in celebrating the praises of God. We ought not therefore to abandon these arts, which the spirit of God himself hath consecrated.