Chapter 2

VERNON. Ah, Bennet! [_He advances_, _holding out his hand_.] You quite well?

BENNET [_shaking hands with him_]. Quite well.

VERNON. Good! And all the family?

BENNET. Nothing to complain of. Charles has had a touch of influenza.

VERNON. Ah, sorry to hear that.

BENNET. And your lordship?

VERNON. Fit as a fiddle—your new mistress.

_Fanny has risen_. _Bennet turns to her_. _For a moment his back is towards the other three_. _Fanny alone sees his face_.

BENNET. We shall endeavour to do our duty to her ladyship. [_He turns to Vernon_.] I had arranged for a more fitting reception—

VERNON. To tell the honest truth, Bennet, the very thing we were afraid of—why we walked from the station, and slipped in by the side door. [_Laughing_.] Has the luggage come?

BENNET. It has just arrived. It was about that I came to ask. I could not understand—

_The Misses Wetherell have also risen_. _Fanny’s speechless amazement is attributed by them and Vernon to natural astonishment at discovery of his rank_.

THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL. You will be wanting a quiet talk together. We shall see you at dinner.

VERNON. What time is dinner?

THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL. Half past seven. [_To Fanny_] But don’t you hurry, dear. I will tell cook to delay it a little. [_She kisses her_.]

THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL. You will want some time to arrange that pretty hair of yours. [_She also kisses the passive_, _speechless Fanny_. _They go out hand in hand_.]

BENNET. I will see, while I am here, that your lordship’s room is in order.

VERNON. Why, where’s Robert, then?

BENNET. He has gone into town to do some shopping. We did not expect your lordship much before nine. There may be one or two things to see to. [_He goes into his lordship’s apartments_, _closing the door behind him_.]

FANNY. Vernon, where am I?

VERNON. At home, dear.

FANNY. Yes, but where?

VERNON. At Bantock Hall, Rutlandshire. [_Fanny sits down on the settee—drops down rather_.] You’re not angry with me? You know how the world always talks in these cases. I wanted to be able to prove to them all that you married me for myself. Not because I was Lord Bantock. Can you forgive me?

FANNY [_she still seems in a dream_]. Yes—of course. You didn’t—you wouldn’t—[_She suddenly springs up_.] Vernon, you do love me? [_She flings her arms round his neck_.]

VERNON. Dear!

FANNY. You will never be ashamed of me?

VERNON. Dearest!

FANNY. I was only a music-hall singer. There’s no getting over it, you know.

VERNON. I should have loved you had you been a beggar-maid.

FANNY [_she still clings to him_]. With an uncle a costermonger, and an aunt who sold matches. It wouldn’t have made any difference to you, would it? You didn’t marry me for my family, did you? You didn’t, did you?

VERNON. Darling! I married you because you are the most fascinating, the most lovable, the most wonderful little woman in the world. [_Fanny gives a sob_.] As for your family—I’ve got a confession to make to you, dear. I made inquiries about your family before I proposed to you. Not for my own sake—because I knew I’d have to answer a lot of stupid questions. It seemed to me quite a good family.

FANNY. It is! Oh, it is! There never was such a respectable family. That’s why I never could get on with them.

VERNON [_laughing_]. Well, you haven’t got to—any more. We needn’t even let them know—

_Bennet returns_.

BENNET. Robert I find has returned. It is ten minutes to seven.

VERNON. Thanks. Well, I shall be glad of a bath. [_He turns to Fanny_.] Bennet will send your maid to you. [_He whispers to her_.] You’ll soon get used to it all. As for the confounded family—we will forget all about them. [_Fanny answers with another little stifled sob_. _Bennet is drawing the curtains_, _his back to the room_. _Vernon_, _seeing that Bennet is occupied_, _kisses the unresponsive Fanny and goes out_.]

_At the sound of the closing of the door_, _Fanny looks up_. _She goes to the door through which Vernon has just passed_, _listens a moment_, _then returns_. _Bennet calmly finishes the drawing of the curtains_. _Then he_, _too_, _crosses slowly till he and Fanny are facing one another across the centre of the room_.

FANNY. Well, what are you going to do?

BENNET. My duty!

FANNY. What’s that? Something unpleasant, I know. I can bet my bottom dollar.

BENNET. That, my girl, will depend upon you.

FANNY. How upon me?

BENNET. Whether you prove an easy or a difficult subject. To fit you for your position, a certain amount of training will, I fancy, be necessary.

FANNY. Training! I’m to be—[_She draws herself up_.] Are you aware who I am?

BENNET. Oh yes. _And_ who you were. His lordship, I take it, would hardly relish the discovery that he had married his butler’s niece. He might consider the situation awkward.

FANNY. And who’s going to train me?

BENNET. I am. With the assistance of your aunt and such other members of your family as I consider can be trusted.

FANNY [_for a moment she is speechless_, _then she bursts out_]. That ends it! I shall tell him! I shall tell him this very moment. [_She sweeps towards the door_.]

BENNET. At this moment you will most likely find his lordship in his bath.

FANNY. I don’t care! Do you think—do you think for a moment that I’m going to allow myself—I, Lady Bantock, to be—[_Her hand upon the door_.] I shall tell him, and you’ll only have yourself to blame. He loves me. He loves me for myself. I shall tell him the whole truth, and ask him to give you all the sack.

BENNET. You’re not forgetting that you’ve already told him _once_ who you were?

[_It stops her_. _What she really did was to leave the marriage arrangements in the hands of her business manager_, _George P. Newte_. _As agent for a music-hall star_, _he is ideal_, _but it is possible that in answering Lord Bantock’s inquiries concerning Fanny’s antecedents he may not have kept strictly to the truth_.]

FANNY. I never did. I’ve never told him anything about my family.

BENNET. Curious. I was given to understand it was rather a classy affair.

FANNY. I can’t help what other people may have done. Because some silly idiot of a man may possibly—[_She will try a new tack_. _She leaves the door and comes to him_.] Uncle, dear, wouldn’t it be simpler for you all to go away? He’s awfully fond of me. He’ll do anything I ask him. I could merely say that I didn’t like you and get him to pension you off. You and aunt could have a little roadside inn somewhere—with ivy.

BENNET. Seeing that together with the stables and the garden there are twenty-three of us—

FANNY. No, of course, he couldn’t pension you all. You couldn’t expect—

BENNET. I think his lordship might prefer to leave things as they are. Good servants nowadays are not so easily replaced. And neither your aunt nor I are at an age when change appeals to one.

FANNY. You see, it’s almost bound to creep out sooner or later, and then—

BENNET. We will make it as late as possible [_He crosses and rings the bell_], giving you time to prove to his lordship that you are not incapable of learning.

FANNY [_she drops back on the settee_. _She is half-crying_.] Some people would be pleased that their niece had married well.

BENNET. I am old-fashioned enough to think also of my duty to those I serve. If his lordship has done me the honour to marry my niece, the least I can is to see to it that she brings no discredit to his name. [_Mrs. Bennet_, _followed by Jane Bennet_, _a severe-looking woman of middle age_, _has entered upon the words_ “_the least I can do_.” _Bennet stays them a moment with his hand while he finishes_. _Then he turns to his wife_.] You will be interested to find, Susannah, that the new Lady Bantock is not a stranger.

MRS. BENNET. Not a stranger! [_She has reached a position from where she sees the girl_.] Fanny! You wicked girl! Where have you been all these years?

BENNET [_interposing_]. There will be other opportunities for the discussion of family differences. Just now, her ladyship is waiting to dress for dinner.

MRS. BENNET [_sneering_]. Her ladyship!

JANE [_also sneering_]. I think she might have forewarned us of the honour in store for us.

MRS. BENNET. Yes, why didn’t she write?

FANNY. Because I didn’t know. Do you think—[_she rises_]—that if I had I would ever have married him—to be brought back here and put in this ridiculous position? Do you think that I am so fond of you all that I couldn’t keep away from you, at any price?

MRS. BENNET. But you must have known that Lord Bantock—

FANNY. I didn’t know he was Lord Bantock. I only knew him as Mr. Wetherell, an artist. He wanted to feel sure that I was marrying him for himself alone. He never told me—[_Ernest Bennet_, _a very young footman_, _has entered in answer to Bennet’s ring of a minute ago_. _He has come forward step by step_, _staring all the while open-mouthed at Fanny_. _Turning_, _she sees him beside her_.] Hulloa, Ernie. How are the rabbits? [_She kisses him_.]

BENNET. Don’t stand there gaping. I rang for some wood. Tell your brother dinner will be at a quarter to eight.

_Ernest_, _never speaking_, _still staring at Fanny_, _gets clumsily out again_.

FANNY. Well, I suppose I’d better see about dressing? Do I dine with his lordship or in the servants’ hall?

MRS. BENNET [_turns to her husband_]. You see! Still the old impertinence.

FANNY. Only wanted to know. My only desire is to give satisfaction.

BENNET [_he moves towards the door_]. You will do it by treating the matter more seriously. At dinner, by keeping your eye upon me, you will be able to tell whether you are behaving yourself or not.

MRS. BENNET. And mind you are punctual. I have appointed Jane to be your maid.

FANNY. Jane!

MRS. BENNET [_in arms_]. Have you any objections?

FANNY. No, oh no, so long as you’re all satisfied.

MRS. BENNET. Remember, you are no longer on the music-hall stage. In dressing for Bantock Hall you will do well to follow her advice.

_Bennet_, _who has been waiting with the door in his hand_, _goes out_; _Mrs. Bennet follows_.

JANE [_in the tones of a patient executioner_]. Are you ready?

FANNY. Quite ready, dear. Of course—I don’t know what you will think of them—but I’ve only brought modern costumes with me.

JANE [_not a lady who understands satire_]. We must do the best we can. [_She marches out—into the dressing-room_.]

_Fanny_, _after following a few steps_, _stops and thinks_. _Ernest has entered with the wood_. _He is piling it in the basket by the fire_. _His entrance decides her_. _She glances through the open door of the dressing-room_, _then flies across to the desk_, _seats herself_, _and begins feverishly to write a telegram_.

FANNY. Ernie! [_He comes across to her_.] Have you still got your bicycle?

ERNEST. Yes.

FANNY. Could you get this telegram off for me before eight o’clock? I don’t want it sent from the village; I want you to take it _yourself_—into the town. There’s a sovereign for you if you do it all right.

ERNEST. I’ll do it. Can only get into a row.

FANNY. Pretty used to them, ain’t you? [_She has risen_. _She gives him the telegram_. _She has stamped it_.] Can you read it?

ERNEST. “George P. Newte.”

FANNY. Hush!

_They both glance at the open door_.

ERNEST [_he continues in a lower voice_]. “72A, Waterloo Bridge Road, London. Must see you at once. Am at the new shop.” [_He looks up_.]

FANNY. That’s all right.

ERNEST. “Come down. Q.T. Fanny.”

FANNY [_nods_]. Get off quietly. I’ll see you again—

THE VOICE OF JANE [_from the dressing-room_]. Are you going to keep me waiting all night?

[_They start_. _Ernest hastily thrusts the telegram into his breast-pocket_.]

FANNY. Coming, dear, coming. [_To Ernest_] Not a word to anyone! [_She hurries him out and closes door behind him_.] Merely been putting the room a bit tidy. [_She is flying round collecting her outdoor garments_.] Thought it would please you. So sorry if I’ve kept you waiting. [_Jane has appeared at door_.] After you, dear.

_Jane goes out again_. _Fanny_, _with her pile of luggage_, _follows_.

[CURTAIN]

_ACT II_

_SCENE_

_The same_.

_Time_.—_The next morning_.

_The door opens_. _Dr. Freemantle enters_, _shown in by Bennet_, _who follows him_.

DR. FREEMANTLE [_talking as he enters_]. Wonderful! Wonderful! I don’t really think I ever remember so fine a spring.

BENNET [_he is making up the fire_]. I’m afraid we shall have to pay for it later on.

DR. FREEMANTLE. I expect so. Law of the universe, you know, Bennet—law of the universe. Everything in this world has got to be paid for.

BENNET. Except trouble. [_The doctor laughs_.] The Times? [_He hands it to him_.]

DR. FREEMANTLE. Thanks. Thanks. [_Seats himself_.] Won’t be long—his lordship, will he?

BENNET. I don’t think so. I told him you would be here about eleven.

DR. FREEMANTLE. Um—what do you think of her?

BENNET. Of—of her ladyship?

DR. FREEMANTLE. What’s she like?

BENNET. [_They have sunk their voices_.] Well, it might have been worse.

DR. FREEMANTLE. Ah! There’s always that consolation, isn’t there?

BENNET. I think her ladyship—with _management_—may turn out very satisfactory.

DR. FREEMANTLE. You like her?

BENNET. At present, I must say for her, she appears willing to be taught.

DR. FREEMANTLE. And you think it will last?

BENNET. I think her ladyship appreciates the peculiarity of her position. I will tell the Miss Wetherells you are here.

DR. FREEMANTLE. Ah, thanks!

BENNET. I fancy her ladyship will not herself be visible much before lunch time. I understand she woke this morning with a headache. [_He goes out_.]

_The Doctor reads a moment_. _Then the door of the dressing-room opens_, _and Fanny enters_. _Her dress is a wonderful contrast to her costume of last evening_. _It might be that of a poor and demure nursery governess_. _Her hair is dressed in keeping_. _She hardly seems the same woman_.

FANNY [_seeing the Doctor_, _she pauses_]. Oh!

DR. FREEMANTLE [_rises_]. I beg pardon, have I the pleasure of seeing Lady Bantock?

FANNY. Yes.

DR. FREEMANTLE. Delighted. May I introduce myself—Dr. Freemantle? I helped your husband into the world.

FANNY. Yes. I’ve heard of you. You don’t mind my closing this door, do you? [_Her very voice and manner are changed_.]

DR. FREEMANTLE [_a little puzzled_]. Not at all.

FANNY [_she closes the door and returns_]. Won’t—won’t you be seated?

DR. FREEMANTLE. Thanks. [_They both sit_.] How’s the headache?

FANNY. Oh, it’s better.

DR. FREEMANTLE. Ah! [_A silence_.] Forgive me—I’m an old friend of the family. You’re not a bit what I expected.

FANNY. But you like it? I mean you think this—[_with a gesture_]—is all right?

DR. FREEMANTLE. My dear young lady, it’s charming. You couldn’t be anything else.

FANNY. Thank you.

DR. FREEMANTLE. I merely meant that—well, I was not expecting anything so delightfully demure.

FANNY. That’s the idea—“seemly.” The Lady Bantocks have always been “seemly”? [_She puts it as a question_.]

DR. FREEMANTLE [_more and more puzzled_]. Yes—oh, yes. They have always been—[_His eye catches that of Constance_, _first Lady Bantock_, _looking down at him from above the chimney-piece_. _His tone changes_.] Well, yes, in their way, you know.

FANNY. You see, I’m in the difficult position of following her _late_ ladyship. _She_ appears to have been exceptionally “seemly.” This is her frock. I mean it _was_ her frock.

DR. FREEMANTLE. God bless my soul! You are not dressing yourself up in her late ladyship’s clothes? The dear good woman has been dead and buried these twenty years.

FANNY [_she looks at her dress_]. Yes, it struck me as being about that period.

DR. FREEMANTLE [_he goes across to her_]. What’s the trouble? Too much Bennet?

FANNY [_she looks up_. _There is a suspicion of a smile_]. One might say—sufficient?

DR. FREEMANTLE [_laughs_]. Excellent servants. If they’d only remember it. [_He glances round—sinks his voice_.] Take my advice. Put your foot down—before it’s too late.

FANNY. Sit down, please. [_She makes room for him on the settee_.] Because I’m going to be confidential. You don’t mind, do you?

DR. FREEMANTLE [_seating himself_]. My dear, I take it as the greatest compliment I have had paid to me for years.

FANNY. You put everything so nicely. I’m two persons. I’m an angel—perhaps that is too strong a word?

DR. FREEMANTLE [_doubtfully_]. Well—

FANNY. We’ll say saint. Or else I’m—the other thing.

DR. FREEMANTLE. Do you know, I think you could be.

FANNY. It’s not a question about which there is any doubt.

DR. FREEMANTLE. Of course, in this case, a _little_ bit of the devil—

FANNY [_she shakes her head_]. There’s such a lot of mine. It has always hampered me, never being able to hit the happy medium.

DR. FREEMANTLE. It _is_ awkward.

FANNY. I thought I would go on being an angel—

DR. FREEMANTLE. Saint.

FANNY. Saint—till—well, till it became physically impossible to be a saint any longer.

DR. FREEMANTLE. And then?

FANNY [_she rises_, _turns to him with a gesture of half-comic_, _half-tragic despair_]. Well, then I can’t help it, can I?

DR. FREEMANTLE. I think you’re making a mistake. An explosion will undoubtedly have to take place. That being so, the sooner it takes place the better. [_He rises_.] What are you afraid of?

FANNY [_she changes her tone—the talk becomes serious_]. You’ve known Vernon all his life?

DR. FREEMANTLE. No one better.

FANNY. Tell me. I’ve known him only as a lover. What sort of a man is he?

_A pause_. _They are looking straight into each other’s eyes_.

DR. FREEMANTLE. A man it pays to be perfectly frank with.

FANNY. It’s a very old family, isn’t it?

DR. FREEMANTLE. Old! Good Lord no! First Lord Bantock was only Vernon’s great-grandfather. That is the woman that did it all. [_He is looking at the Hoppner_.]

FANNY. How do you mean?

DR. FREEMANTLE. Got them their title. Made the name of Bantock of importance in the history of the Georges. Clever woman.

FANNY [_leaning over a chair_, _she is staring into the eyes of the first Lady Bantock_]. I wonder what she would have done if she had ever got herself into a really first-class muddle?

DR. FREEMANTLE. One thing’s certain. [_Fanny turns to him_.] She’d have got out of it.

FANNY [_addresses the portrait_]. I do wish you could talk.

_Vernon bursts into the room_. _He has been riding_. _He throws aside his hat and stick_.

VERNON. Hulloa! This is good of you. [_He shakes hands with the Doctor_.] How are you? [_Without waiting for any reply_, _he goes to Fanny_, _kisses her_.] Good morning, dear. How have you been getting on together, you two? Has she been talking to you?

DR. FREEMANTLE. Oh, yes.

VERNON. Doesn’t she talk well? I say, what have you been doing to yourself?

FANNY. Jane thought this style—[_with a gesture_]—more appropriate to Lady Bantock.

VERNON. Um! Wonder if she’s right? [_To the Doctor_] What do you think?

DR. FREEMANTLE. I think it a question solely for Lady Bantock.

VERNON. Of course it is. [_To Fanny_] You know, you mustn’t let them dictate to you. Dear, good, faithful souls, all of them. But they must understand that you are mistress.

FANNY [_she seizes eagerly at the chance_]. You might mention it to them, dear. It would come so much better from you.

VERNON. No, you. They will take more notice of you.

FANNY. I’d so much rather you did it. [_To Dr. Freemantle_] Don’t you think it would come better from him?

DR. FREEMANTLE [_laughs_]. I’m afraid you’ll have to do it yourself.

VERNON. You see, dear, it might hurt them, coming from me. It would seem like ingratitude. Mrs. Bennet—Why, it wasn’t till I began to ask questions that I grasped the fact that she _wasn’t_ my real mother. As for old Bennet, ever since my father died—well, I hardly know how I could have got on without him. It was Charles Bennet that taught me to ride; I learned my letters sitting on Jane’s lap.

FANNY. Yes. Perhaps I had better do it myself.

VERNON. I’m sure it will be more effective. Of course I shall support you.

FANNY. Thank you. Oh, by the by, dear, I shan’t be able to go with you to-day.

VERNON. Why not?

FANNY. I’ve rather a headache.

VERNON. Oh, I’m so sorry. Oh, all right, we’ll stop at home. I’m not so very keen about it.

FANNY. No, I want you to go, dear. Your aunts are looking forward to it. I shall get over it all the sooner with everybody out of the way.

VERNON. Well, if you really wish it.

_The Misses Wetherell steal in_. _They are dressed for driving_. _They exchange greetings with the Doctor_.

FANNY. You know you promised to obey. [_Tickles his nose with a flower_.]

VERNON [_laughing—to the Doctor_]. You see what it is to be married?

DR. FREEMANTLE [_laughs_]. Very trying.

VERNON [_turning to his aunts_]. Fanny isn’t coming with us.

THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL [_to Fanny_]. Oh, my dear!

FANNY. It’s only a headache. [_She takes her aside_.] I’m rather glad of it. I want an excuse for a little time to myself.

THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL. I understand, dear. It’s all been so sudden. [_She kisses her—then to the room_] She’ll be all the better alone. We three will go on. [_She nods and signs to her sister_.]

FANNY [_kissing the Elder Miss Wetherell_]. Don’t you get betting.

THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL. Oh no, dear, we never do. It’s just to see the dear horses. [_She joins her sister_. _They whisper_.]

VERNON [_to the Doctor to whom he has been talking_]. Can we give you a lift?

DR. FREEMANTLE. Well, you might as far as the Vicarage. Good-bye, Lady Bantock.

FANNY [_shaking hands_]. Good-bye, Doctor.

VERNON. Sure you won’t be lonely?

FANNY [_laughs_]. Think I can’t exist an hour without you? Mr. Conceited!

VERNON [_laughs and kisses her_]. Come along. [_He takes the Doctor and his younger Aunt towards the door_.]

THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL [_who is following last_]. I like you in that frock.

FANNY [_laughs_]. So glad. It’s Ernest who attends to the fires, isn’t it?

THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL. Yes, dear.

FANNY. I wish you’d send him up. [_At door—calls after them_] Hope you’ll all enjoy yourselves!

VERNON [_from the distance_]. I shall put you on a fiver.

FANNY. Mind it wins. [_She listens a moment—closes door_, _comes back to desk_, _and takes a Bradshaw_.] Five-six-three—five-six-three. [_Finds page_.] St. Pancras, eight o’clock. Oh, Lord! Stamford, 10.45. Leave Stamford—[_Ernest has entered_.] Is that you, Ernest?

ERNEST. Yes.

FANNY. Shut the door. Sure it went off last night, that telegram?

ERNEST. Yes.

FANNY. If he doesn’t catch that eight o’clock, he can’t get here till nearly four. That will be awkward. [_To Ernest_] What time is it now?

ERNEST [_looks at clock_]. Twenty past eleven.

FANNY. If he does, he’ll be here about twelve—I believe I’ll go and meet him. Could I get out without being seen?

ERNEST. You’ll have to pass the lodge.

FANNY. Who’s at the lodge now?

ERNEST. Mother.

FANNY. Damn!

_Bennet has entered unnoticed and drawn near_. _At this point from behind_, _he boxes Ernest’s ears_.

ERNEST. Here, steady!

BENNET. On the occasions when your cousin forgets her position, you will remember it and remind her of it. Get out! [_Ernest_, _clumsily as ever_, “_gets out_.”] A sort of person has called who, according to his own account, “happened to be passing this way,” and would like to see you.

FANNY [_who has been trying to hide the Bradshaw—with affected surprise_.] To see me!

BENNET [_drily_]. Yes. I thought you would be surprised. He claims to be an old friend of yours—Mr. George Newte.