Part 3

A 10th. triall of the true _life_ of the _inner_ man, (though _weak_ and _sickly_,) is a _discerning_, and _liking_, and secret _wishing_ that _beauty_ and _shining_ of the _grace_ of _Christ Jesus_, which appears in others of _Gods Children_, and which we see wanting in our _selves_. Thus were there a sort of _Gods children_, which could see _beauty_ and _excellency_ in those which so affectionately inquired after _Christ Jesus_, in his visible worship, and the severall parts thereof, although themselves were not so zealously affected. Thus therefore say they: O thou the _fairest_ of _Women_, (an _acknowledgment_ of heavenly _grace_ and _beauty_, and they also enquire, and desire to see that _beauty_ of _Christ Jesus_, which the other _Saints_ so praised. And in _Cant: 6_. they say, whither is thy _Beloved_ gone, oh thou _fairest_ among _Women_, that we may seek him with thee: Hence many of _Gods_ dear _Saints_ in _Qu: Maries_ time, and other bloody days, in our own and other _countries_, have praised _God_ for, and have been ravished with the _beauties_ of the heavenly _love_ and _zeal_, and _patience_ in others of _Gods servants_, which they have seen wanting in themselves: And thus, (whatever be our _weaknesses_) it must needs argue a _life_ of _grace_, when we can view the _lives_ and _deaths_ of the blessed _martyrs_, or _witnesses of Christ Jesus_, (either in the holy _scriptures_, or other _Records_, I say can view them with a _liking_ and true _affecting_ of their _graces_, with an humble acknowledgment of our own _wants_ and _poverties_, and a mourning _desire_ of _attaining_ to such a beauteous _profession_ of _Christ Jesus_.

Such a _beauty_ (doubtles) did many of _Gods children_ apprehend in the _Lords Ordinances_, and in such as suffred for them in _England_, who yet found not strength themselves, to stand and suffer for, and with them, yet left much and fled to _New England_, hoping to enjoy there (though with too much weak desire of _peace_ and _liberty_) the _Ordinances_ of _Christ Jesus_, their _souls Beloved_.

_Obj._ But did not _Balaam_ see the _beauty_ and _excellency_ of _Gods Saints_, when he cried out, let me dye the _death_ of the _righteous_, and let my last end be like his, _&c._

I answer, it is usually well said, _Balaam_ desired the _death_, and _blessednes_ of the _righteous_, but not the _life_ and _righteousnesse_ of the _righteous_.

_Obj._ _Balaam_ seems to have seen the _beauty_ of _righteousnesse_ it self.

[Sidenote: _Dissemblers_, in a respect may desire _righteousness_, but only _Gods children_ can long for it in truth, and for it self.]

I answer, he might see and like _righteousnes_ in the _end_, and _fruit_ of it, and yet not in the true _nature_ and _beauty_ of it, for then he would have as well desired the _life_, as the _death_ of the _righteous_, just as these _Indians_ (amongst whom I write these lines) they see the _excellency_ of the _English industry_, joyned with _plenty_, and a better _condition_ then their own, but endure not that _life_ of _labour_ and _indeavour_, wherein that _plenty_ and better _state_ is found. But _Gods children_ beholding the _beauty_ and _excellency_ of the heavenly _lives_ and _deaths_ of others, (like _souldiers_ in a Field) are provoked by those _examples_, to desire to follow _Christ Jesus_ in those holy _paths_, and secretly to bemoan their own _infirmities_ and _deformities_.

These and many more _discoveries_ of the _life_ of _Christ Jesus_ in the _soul_, (though in the midst of many _weaknesses_, and spirituall _sicknesses_) I hope (my _dear love_ and faithfull _companion_) thou in truth discernest in thy _self_, and I, and others have discerned in thee: But oh search diligently in the _Lords_ holy _presence_, and humbly beg his help, that as the _Spirit_ of _God_ admonisheth, (_Gal. 6_.) thou maiest have rejoycing in thy _self_, and not in anothers good opinion of thee.

[Sidenote: Gods children cannot but desire spirituall health, as wel as life and Christian being.]

But grant all these, and the _assurance_ of a true and blessed _life_ of _grace_ within us?

Grant this _life_ is as the _life_ of _Christ_, never again to be extinguished. Yet who rejoyceth not in _health_, who mourns not under the _pains_ and _weaknesses_ of a sick bed?

Next therefore to the _discovery_ of _spirituall life_, all that are born of _God_ must try their _spirituall strength_, and _health_, and _chearfull temper_: The particular _instances_ whereof, being propounded as _examples_, _copies_, and _samplars_ for us to follow in the holy _Scripture_, I shall pick, and gather, and bind up, for both our _incouragement_, and comfort.

I confesse the beholding of such _heavenly patterns_ may astonish and amaze us, and make us dispair to attain to the like heavenly _temper_: I pray thee therefore (_dear love_) observe, (what before I said) that these _particulars_ next following are not _discouragements_ from _Christ_, as if we had no _life_ at all: but _incouragements_ to draw neerer to _Christ Jesus_, when we see such _virtue_ proceed out from him, to such poor _sinners_ like our selves.

These _particulars_ then following are as an holy _looking-glasse_, to discover to us our souls _spots_, & _blemishes_, as also sweet _cordial flowers_, to refresh and incourage our _drooping spirits_.

The severall particular _trialls_ of this _spirituall health_, and _chearfulnesse_, I shall bind up (as I may so speak) into three severall _parcells_, as sometimes we see sweet _flowers_ bound up into smaller _bundles_, to make up at last one larger _bundle_ or _posie_ in one.

The three severall sorts shall be according to that _division_ of the _holy Spirit_ by _Paul_ to _Titus_.

First such as concern _holines_, respecting our _communion_ with _God_ in _Christ Jesus_.

2. Such as concern _righteousnesse_, respecting others.

3. Such as concern _sobriety_, respecting our private _selves_ and _persons_.

[Sidenote: Incomprehensible nature of God.]

First, then it is an _argument_ of the _strength_, and _healthful temper_ of the _inner_ man, when our _apprehensions_ of _God_ are always such, as bring us to holy _wonderment_ and _amazement_, at the _nature_ of incomprehensible _God_, at his _properties_, and _works_, from the _Sun_ in the _Firmament_, to the poorest _Worme_, at his wonderfull _dispensing_ of his _justice_, and _mercy_, and _disposing_, and _ruling_ all things in _Heaven_, _Earth_, and _Seas_, from the highest _Angels_ in _heaven_, to the lowest _Devils_ in _Hell_.

[Sidenote: Gods children ought to walk in constant amazedness of spirit as to God his nature, works, &c.]

This was _Davids temper_ when he cried out, (_Psal: 104_.) Oh Lord how _wonderfull_ are thy _works_, in _wisedome_ hast thou made them all! Also (_Psal. 8._) O _Jehovah_ our Lord, how _wonderfull_ is thy _Name_ in all the _earth_! And _Psal: 139_. he brings this wonder nearer to _himself_, saying, I will praise thee, for I am _fearfully_ and _wonderfully_ made. As if he would say, _fearfully_ and _wonderfully bred_ in the _womb_, _fearfully_ and _wonderfully_ brought forth; and we may further say, ever since we came thus _fearfully_ and _wonderfully_ into the _world_, _fearfully_ and _wonderfully brought_ up, _fearfully_ and _wonderfully preserved_, _delivered_, &c.

_Obj._ But may not _naturall_ men, and _Hypocrites_ admire the _Nature_, and _works_ of _God_.

I answer, yes, but the _wonder_ which doth possesse a _child_ of _God_, causeth him to cry out with _David_, _Psal. 119_. Thy _hands_ have made me, and fashioned me, give me understanding that I may learn thy _statutes_. Tis such a wonder as _draweth_ up the _heart_ unto _God_, with _longings_ to be _united_ unto him, to fear his _Name_, to partake of his divine _Nature_, and to be like unto _Him_ in _holines_, and _true Righteousnes_.

_Obj._ The _Devills_ believe, and tremble at _God_.

I answer, to tremble at the _word_ of _God_, is alone the _property_ of _Gods Servants_, Isa. 66 The _Devills_ may wonder and tremble at the just sentence, and threatening part of _Gods word_: But _Gods children_ tremble at the _commanding_ part, yea at the _comforting_ and _promising_ part of it also, least they should depart or fall off from it, or loose, though but for a time as _David_, the joy and sweetnes of it.

[Sidenote: The glorifying of God the great work of Gods children]

Secondly, it is an _Argument_ of _health_ and spirituall _strength_, when the _hallowing_, the _magnifying_, and _glorifying_ of the _name_ of _God_ is our great _work_ and _business_ in this _world_, unto which all the _businesses_ and _works_ we have in hand in the world beside give way, &c.

Thus _Christ Jesus_ teacheth all his to make it their _first request_ to _God_, that they may _hallow_, or _glorifie_ his _name_: Thus he professeth (as it were upon his _death bed_) _John_ 17. that he had done his _work_, that he had _glorified_ his _Father_ upon the _earth_: Hence he professeth at his most solemn _Arraignment_, _Job 18_. for this _end_ was I born, and for this _end_ came I into the _world_, that I might bear _witness_ to the _truth_; that is, to give his _Father_ the _glory_ of his _truth_, and to destroy the _lyes_ of the _devill_ the _father_ of them, who belyeth _God_ in all his holy _attributes_, and _works_, and _servants_, and _ordinances_, and profaneth and dishonoreth his holy _name_ in them all.

_Obj._ _Hypocrites_ professe to glorifie _God_, and to say, _Isa. 66._ Let the _Lord_ be glorified.

I answer: No _hypocrite_ can make it his _work_ to _glorifie God_, when it crosseth his own _glory_: No _hypocrite_ can purely and simply, out of _love_ to _Gods name_ and _glory_, be content to loose the offer of a _kingdom_ as _Moses_ did, when the _Lord_ himself offered it him, and as _Christ Jesus_ did, when the people offered and would have made him a _King_ by force, and the _devil_ proffered him all the _kingdoms_ of the world, and the glory of them.

[Sidenote: Delightfull privacie with God argues strong affection.]

Thirdly, it is an _Argument_ of _strength_ of Gods grace and Spirit in us, when we perform _actions_ of _godliness_, with a _single_ and upright _eye_ unto _God_ himself in secret. _Frequent_ and _constant_ delight in private _converses_ argues strong _affection_ to _God_ or _men_: _Hypocrites_ (saith _Christ Jesus_) will _pray_ and _fast_, and give _alms_, but with a _squint_ eye of _private_ and _sinister_ self respect to be _seen_ of men, &c. But _Gods children_ pray, and do good, and fast in secret, regarding no eye but the eye of an heavenly _Father_, who seeing in _secret_ will not fail to reward _openly_.

_Ob._ But may not _hypocrites_ speak and _preach_ against _hipocrisie_, against _self-love_, _self-respect_, and _fleshly and_ worldly _ends_ in the performance of _spirituall duties_? And is it not possible for _Gods children_ to perform _spirituall duties_ with carnall _ends_ and _respects_?

[Sidenote: Hypocrites pretend far in glorifying of God.]

I answer: _Hypocrites_ may do this, and pretend pure and upright _ends_ for _God_, as _Jehu_ did: yet discover they _hypocrisie_, in the very pretence of _sinceritie_, for not content with the _Lords_ eye and approbation, Come see my _zeal_ (saith he) _Jonadab_, which I have for the _Lord_.

2ly, _Gods children_ (doubtless) may look aside, and mark who _sees_ and _hears_, and _rewards_ their _performances_ of _service_ unto _God_: But this is either in _sins_ of _ignorance_; as for _instance_, many of _Gods_ dear _children_ perform _service_ to _God_ in _preaching_ as _hirelings_, and conceive themselves not bound although to glorifie _Christ Jesus_ in saving _souls_) to preach without an _hire_, and so in other _cases_.

Or 3ly, this may be knowingly and discerningly, as _Paul_ saith, _Rom. 7_. When I would do good, _evil_ is present with me: such _temptations_ come in as water into a ship, or as _dust_ and _diseases_ into a sound eye, and then _Gods children_ be never quiet untill such _distempers_ be cleansed, and got out again.

[Sidenote: A frequent & constant spirit of prayer an argument of much of Gods Spirit.]

Fourthly, it is an _Argument_ of _spirituall strength_ when the _Spirit_ of _prayer_ breatheth forth _frequently_, and _constantly, and fervently_ to _God_ in us: Hence _David_ prays and cries in the _morning_, at _noon_, and in the _evening_, he riseth at _midnight_ to pray, and prevents the _dawning_ of the _day_ to pray: Thus _Daniel_ is thrice each day on his knees to _God_, and would not be beaten off, with the _powers_ and _terrors_ of cruel _enemies_ and _lyons_.

Thus the Lord _Jesus_ _frequently_ retired alone to private _prayer_, and sometimes spent the whole _night_ in _prayer_ to _God_ with strong _cries_, _tears_ and _supplications_: And therefore is it that all true _Christians_ are the _spirituall Israelites_, that is, _wrastlers_ and _strivers_ with _God_ in prayer; like unto their _Father Jacob_, who wrastled all night in prayer with _God_, with _weeping_ and _supplications_, and would not let the _Angel_ go until he blessed him; and therefore his name was called _Israel_, a _wrastler_ or _prevailer_ with _God_, as well as _Jacob_ a supplanter and prevailer with men.

_Ob._ But may not _Hypocrites_ be frequent and fervent in prayer to _God_? Did not the _Pharisees_ and _Jews_ pray and fast often? Do not the very _Turks_ solemnly pray five times each 24. houres? And the _Papists_ not onely keep their solemn morning and evening times of _prayer_, but many other solemn prayers unto which the severall orders of _Friars_, _Monks_ and _Nuns_ bind themselves? And how easie is it by worldly engines to wheel about the _Indians_ of _America_ to become frequent prayers unto God, &c.

I answer: Many are the differences between the true prayers of Gods children, and the false of dissemblers and hypocrites: I will name a few for instance.

[Sidenote: True prayer is the souls breathing unto God.]

First then _hypocrites_ pray but in a _form_ and _lip-labour_, as a _task_ and _work_ to be done for _carnall respects_, to merit at _Gods_ hand, or to stop the mouth of _conscience_, which tels them they cannot be Gods children except they pray: But true prayer is the pouring out of the heart to God, the true breathing of the _soul_ to God, arising as _Incense_ and _perfume_ unto God: Hence (no doubt) although _Paul_ before his conversion prayed much unto _God_, (for he was a Pharasie) yet he never praid _indeed_, untill his great _change_, and the descending of the holy _Spirit_ of prayer upon him; And therefore the Lord sends _Ananias_ with this incouragement unto _Paul_: Behold he prayeth, _Act. 9_.

[Sidenote: and hath more or lesse some soul-pleasure in it.]

Hence _Gods children_ find a kind of holy _pleasure_ and _delight_ in _prayer_, whatever be the event or issue, it pleaseth _God_ to give, like as a man finds delight in casting off an heavy _burthen_ from his _shoulder_, or in the _unbossoming_ of a _grief_, into the _bosome_ of a _friend_. Thus _Hanna_ opprest with _grief_ weeps no more, when she had _powred_ forth her _supplication_ before the _Lord_: And the _Lord Jesus_ _powred_ forth his _prayers_, and _tears_, in the bosome of his _Father_, and then rests quiet in his _Fathers pleasure_, as touching the _passing by_, or _drinking_ of the _bitter cup_.

_Obj._ But may not the _children_ of _God_ want holy _pleasure_ and _delight_ in prayer, and depart from _Gods presence_ as _heavy_ as they came?

[Sidenote: Gods children are most in private with God.]

I answer, some _spirituall distempers_ may hinder, and _obstruct_ the _operations_ of the _Spirit of prayer_: nevertheles the _soul_ and _spirit_ praies and mourns for the _absence_ of holy _pleasure_, and _delight_ in this holy _exercise_. Hence _Davids mourning_ (as a _Turtledove_) in his _prayers_, and _Jeremies lamentings_ for the _obstructions_, between the _Lord_ and their _souls_, in this holy _Communion_.

The second _difference_ is, the _Hypocrites_ prayers more respect the _ears_ of _men_ then _God_, as the _Lord Jesus_ tells us; They pray that men may know so much, and esteem them _Religious_: _Gods children_, like true _lovers_, delight to be private, and fervent with their heavenly _Father_ and _Husband_.

[Sidenote: The prayers of Gods people most respect spiritual and soul mercies.]

Thirdly, _Hypocrites_ in their _prayers_ most commonly respect _earthly_ things, (and therefore _Hos. 7_.) they cry and howl upon their _Beds_, for _corn_ and _wine_: or at the best they respect but _themselves_, &c. although it be in the _pardon_ of their _sins_, and _saving_ of their _Souls_: But the _prayers_ of _Gods children_, chiefly eye _heavenly_ things.

Hence the wonderfull _spirituallity_ of _Christs prayer_ to his _Father_, (_John 7_.) for the _glorifying_ of his _name_, and _spirituall Grace_, and _mercy_ in the _souls_ of _Beleevers_: Hence the admirable _spirituality_ of _Davids_ prayers, for _spirituall_ and _soul_ mercies, _Psal: 119_. And the fervent prayers of _Paul_ in all his _Epistles_ for heavenly and spirituall mercies to the _Saints_ of _God_.

_Hypocrites_ like _Dogs_ howl and fawn for _bones_ and _crusts_, &c. But _Gods_ children beg the proper _tokens_, and characters of a spirituall _Father_, to his spirituall children, and Beloved.

[Sidenote: Gods people wait for, and rest in Gods answer.]

4thly, _Hypocrites_ will not always cry unto _God_ (_Job. 27_.) but at last with _Saul_, if _God_ answer not, they run to the _Devill_ in _evil_ means, murmur and despair: But _Gods_ children can no more cease to cry unto _God_, then to live a spiritual _life_, and therefore resolve to give _God_ no _Rest_ untill they receive an _answer_, and therefore also wait for his holy _pleasure_, and _leasure_, and at last are satisfied with the _Lords_ holy pleasure, and sentence, although it seem crosse, add bitter to _flesh_, and _blood_: So _Moses_ in respect of his suit to _God_, for his going into the land of _Canaan_: So _David_ praying for his _child_: So _Christ Jesus_ in respect of his _bitter cup_. So _Paul_ praying against his great _temptation_.

_Obj._ But may not _Hypocrites_ pray long, and also wait upon _God_?

I answer, they may, yet at last, out of unbelief, and anger, like an _angry Dog_, or _sturdy Beggar_, they cry out in murmur, and wrath, as the unbelieving King of _Israel_, what should I wait upon _God_ any longer? But _Gods_ children never give over: for when they grow weary, they (like _Moses_) beg help to their fainting hands in _prayer_, and desire their _eyes_ may never cease trickling tears unto _God_, _untill_ he look down from _Heaven_, _Lament: 2_.

A 5th: Argument of _spirituall health_, and _strength_, is a constant holy sence of our own _unworthines_, _vilenes_, and _basenes_ in _Gods_ presence: Hence _Jacob_ professeth himself less then the least of _Gods_ mercies, that is, then the least _crum_, or _drop_, or _rag_, or _look_ of mercy: Hence the _Centurion_ professeth himself not worthy that _Christ_ should come under his _Roof_: Hence _Elizabeth_ her holy wonder, whence is it (saith she) that the _Mother_ of my _Lord_ should come unto me? Hence _Mephiboseth_ wonders that _David_ should look upon such a _dead Dog_.

_Ob._ But may not _Hypocrites_ professe they are not _Papists_, that they can deserve nothing at _Gods_ hands, that if they had their _deserts_ it were woe with them?

[Sidenote: Gods people are only truly sensible of unworthines.]

I answer, _Hypocrites_ may say so, but yet are angry when _God_ seems to deal with them, as he deals with others. Hence they quarrell with _God_, as if that _God_ seemed not to respect their offerings of _prayer_, and _fasting_, _Isa: 58_ But _Gods_ children confessing themselves _Beggars_ at _Gods_ door, and _Dogs_ under his _Table_, they wait for, and are humbly thankfull for every _crum_ of grace and mercy: So _Christ Jesus_ teacheth us to give thanks for the mercy of a little _bread_, and then for a little _Fish_, (_Mark 6_.) So after most heavy and wonderfull _afflictions_, _Jeremie_ cries out _Jehova_ is _righteous_, and professeth it is _mercy_ that it is not worse, and that they were not burnt up and consumed.

[Sidenote: 6thly.]

A 6th. Argument of the spiritual _health_ and _temper_, is when the _affections_ work strong and lively after _God_, after _God_ for himself, after _God_ as a _portion_ and _inheritance_, after _God_ as an _Husband_: when as the _Heart_ panteth after the _water-brooks_, so pant our _Hearts_ after _God_, when as the thirsty _ground_ longeth for the _showers_ of _Rain_, so long our _souls_ after _God_: When his words are sweeter then the honey, and honey comb, and of more esteem then thousands of _gold_ and _silver_.

_Ob._ But may not _Hypocrites_ (as _Balaam_) professe so much and that in earnest?

[Sidenote: Hypocrite affection to God.]

I answer, the deceitfull _heart_ of a man will go wonderfull far this way: Yet certain it is an _Hypocrite_ respects _God_, but as a _Dog_ respects his _Master_, yea sometimes a _stranger_, and an _Enemy_ for a crust, or as an _Hireling_ for his _wages_: But _Gods children_, in the want of all things, are content with _God_ alone, his _Christ_, his _Spirit_, his _Favour_, his _Word_, his _Ordinances_: Hence _David_ professeth _Psal. 4_. Thou puttest more _joy_ into my _heart_, then in the time when their _corn_ and _wine_ increaseth: And _Habacuck_, when _Vine_, and _Fig-tree_, and _Flock_ and _Heard_ fail, he professeth to rejoyce in _God_, and to glory in the _God_ of his _salvation_.

[Sidenote: God himself the portion of his.]

2ly. In the losse of all things, in the greatest _straights_ and _extremities_, _Gods_ children yet find comfort in _God_, that _God_ their portion is not lost. Thus as _David_ when his _wives_, and _children_, and _friends_, and _servants_, and _cattell_ were all devoured by an enslaving and captivating _sword_, and he finds no _Remainder_, but burnt _walls_ and _ashes_, and his own company ready to _stone_ him, yet as _David_ they take comfort, and incourage themselves injoying their _God_.

[Sidenote: 7thly.]

[Sidenote: Ready obedience to God.]

7tly. It is an argument of spirituall _health_, and _strength_, when the holy _Commandments_ of _God_ are not grievous, but pleasant and delightfull to us: when we can say as the _Lord Jesus_ said, it is our meat and drink, to do our heavenly _Fathers will_: when we are active and ready at the _commands_ of _God_, and can say (when the _Lord_ asketh whom shall we send) _send_ me, as the _Prophet Esay_ said: And as the _Lord Jesus_ Psal: 40. Here I am, I delight to do thy will O my God: when we can without repining, grudging, or delaying, obey _commands_ most grievous to _flesh_ and _blood_, against not only _flesh_ and _blood_, but against carnall _reason_, yea against _Hope_ and _Faith_ it self, as _Abraham_ did, in offering up his most dear and only son _Isaac_.

_Obj._ But may not _Hypocrites_ obey the _commands_ of _God_, as _Saul_ did, _&c_?

I answer, they may indeed obey _Gods commands_ by halves as he did, and as a _servant_, and _hireling_, serve _God_ for _wages_, and with _eye service_, with opinion of _merit_, and boast of their _halt_ and _lame_ service, as _Saul did_. But _Gods_ children imbrace all the _commands_ of _God_ with delight, even the _least_, and most despised, with the greatest and most _difficult_, and when all is done, they confesse they have need of _mercy_, and are _unprofitable Servants_.

_Obj._ But may not _Gods_ children live in the _disobedience_ of some _commands_ of _God_, and yet be healthfull, and strong in grace?

[Sidenote: The sins of Gods people.]