Part 2

“I’m awfully sorry to tell you, old man, but on Saturday, at 11 o’clock at night, I saw your wife with another man.”

“You lie, you idiot!”

“Man!--You insult me!”

“It was twelve o’clock. Don’t you know that we are an hour in advance?”

“You’re quite right--pardon me.”]

[Caption for following illustration: XLVI.

THE WATER CRISIS.

“Have you noticed that black shirts are fashionable?”

“Certaintly--it is the triumph of Fascismo.”

“Rubbish!--it’s on account of excess of dirt and want of water.”]

[Caption for following illustration: XLVII.

OUR RESTAURANTS.

Diner: Imbecile!--the fish you gave me a week ago was better.

Waiter: You are the imbecile--because I can prove to you it’s the same!]

[Caption for following illustration: XLVIII.

1st kiddie: My parents bought me new shoes and a little brother in Paris.

2nd kiddie: Oh well, mine didn’t bring me shoes because they bought me twins.]

[Caption for following illustration: XLIX.

SAFETY AT NIGHT.

The Young Fellow: My wife has just given birth to twins--at four o’clock in the morning.

The Old Boy: Well, that’s very commendable caution. Few people care to arrive alone in Mexico at that hour.]

[Caption for following illustration: L.

THE HENPECKED ONE.

Lunch time, and my wife so jealous! What the deuce am I to do to justify my late arrival?]

[Caption for following illustration: LI.

BETWEEN MILK VENDORS.

“How many liters of milk does your cow give, Don Pancho?”

“About eight liters, Doña Julia.”

“And how many do you sell?”

“Oh, not more than twenty.”]

[Caption for following illustration: LII.

“So you’ve finished crying at last!”

The Kid: “No!” (sniffling)--“I’m only resting a little.”]

[Caption for following illustration: LIII.

IRONY.

He: After you Madame!]

[Caption for following illustration: LIV.

FAMILY DISPUTES.

He: And so you are capable of saying I am two-faced!

She: Heavens, no! The one you have is enough!]

[Caption for following illustration: LV.

The Padre:--(Teaching his pupil the ten commandments) The fifth--‘Thou shalt not kill.’

The Pupil: Not even when I have “fuero,” father?

(“Fuero” is a privilege granted to Congressmen and others which exempts them from arrest for crimes committed when holding office.)]

[Caption for following illustration: LVI.

FATHERS OF THE COUNTRY.

“To think I have so many and am so neglected!”

(Congressmen in Mexico are called “Fathers of the Country.”)]

[Caption for following illustration: LVII.

THE FAUX PAS.

“What do you think of my wife’s voice?”

“Excuse me, that woman’s making such a noise I can’t hear a word!--What were you saying?”]

[Caption for following illustration: LVIII.

“Why don’t you marry Rose?”

“Nothing doing, old man. She’s bitterly opposed to divorce.”]