Chapter 12

Indeed, I think both Offices, Regal & Sacerdotal, might well become the same Person; as anciently they were under one name, and the united rights of primogeniture: nor could I follow better presidents, if I were able, then those two eminent Kings, _David_ and _Solomon_; not more famous for their Scepters and Crowns, then one was for devout Psalms and Praiers; the other for his divine Parables and Preaching: whence the one merited and assumed the name of a Prophet, the other of a Preacher. Titles indeed of greater honour, where rightly placed, then any of those the Roman Emperors affected from the Nations they subdued: it being infinitely more glorious to convert Souls to Gods Church by the Word, then to conquer men to a subjection by the Sword.

Yet since the order of Gods wisdom and providence hath, for the most part, alwaies distinguished the gifts and offices of Kings, of Priests, of Princes and Preachers; both in the Jewish and Christian Churches: I am sorry to find My self reduced to the necessity of being both, or enjoying neither.

For such as seek to deprive Me of Kingly Power and Soveraigntie; would no lesse enforce Me to live many Moneths without all Praiers, Sacraments, and Sermons, unlesse I become My own Chaplain.

As I owe the Clergy the protection of a Christian KING, so I desire to enjoy from them the benefit of their gifts and prayers; which I look upon as more prevalent then My own, or other mens; by how much they flow from minds more enlightned, and affections lesse distracted, then those which are encombered with secular affairs: besides, I think a greater blessing and acceptablenes attends those duties, which are rightly performed, as proper to, and within the limits of that calling, to which God and the Church have specially designed and consecrated some men: And however, as to that Spirituall government, by which the devout Soul is subject to Christ, and through his merits daily offers it self and its services to God, every private believer is a King and a Priest, invested with the honour of a Royall Priest hood; yet as to Ecclesiastical order, and the outward policy of the Church, I think confusion in Religion will as certainly follow every mans turning Priest or Preacher, as it will in the State, where every one affects to rule as King.

I was always bred to more modest, and I think to more pious Principles: the consciousness to my spirituall defects makes Me more prize and desire those pious assistances, which holy and good Ministers, either Bishops or Presbyters, may afford Me; especially in these extremities, to which God hath been pleased to suffer some of my Subjects to reduce me; so as to leave them nothing more, but my life to take from Me: and to leave me nothing to desire, which I thought might less provoke their jealousie and offence to deny Me, then this of having some means afforded Me for my Souls comfort and support.

To which end I made choice of men, as no way (that I know) scandalous, so every way eminent for their learning and piety, no less then for their Loyalty: nor can I imagine any exceptions to be made against them, but onely this, that they may seem too able, and too well affected toward Me and My Service.

But this is not the first service (as I count it the best) in which they have forced Me to serve my self; though I must confess I bear with more grief and impatience the want of My Chaplains, then of My other Servants; and next (if not beyond in some things) to the being sequestred from My Wife and Children; since from these indeed more of humane and temporary affections, but from those more of heavenly and eternall improvements may be expected.

My comfort is, that in the enforced (not neglected) want of ordinary means, God is wont to afford extraordinary supplies of his Gifts and Graces.

If his Spirit will teach me, and help my infirmities in prayer, reading and meditation (as I hope he will) I shall need no other, either Orator, or Instructer.

_To thee therefore, O my God, do I direct my now solitary Prayers; what I want of others help, supply with the more immediate assistance of thy Spirit, which alone can both enlighten my darknesse, and quicken my dulnesse._

_O thou Sun of righteousness, thou sacred Fountain of heavenly light and heat, at once cleer and warm my heart, both by instructing of me, and interceding for me; In thee is all fulness, From thee all sufficiency, By thee is all acceptance. Thou art companie enough, and comfort enough; Thou art my King, be also my Prophet and my Priest. Rule me, teach me, pray in me, for me; and be thou ever with me._

_The single wrestlings of_ Jacob _prevailed with thee in that sacred Duel, when he had none to second him but thy selfe; who didst assist him with power to overcome thee, and by a welcome violence to wrest a blessing from thee._

_O look on me thy servant, in infinite mercy, whom thou didst once blesse with the joynt and sociated Devotion of others, whose servency might inflame the coldnesse of my affections towards thee: when wee went to meet in thy House with the voice of joy and gladnesse, worshipping thee in the unity of spirits, and with the bond of peace._

_O forgive the neglect, and not improving of those happy opportunities._

_It is now thy pleasure that I should be as a Pelican in the wildernesse, as a Sparrow on the house top, and as a coale scattered from all those pious glowings and devout reflections, which might best kindle, preserve, and increase the holy fire of thy Graces on the Altar of my heart, whence the sacrifices of prayers and incense of praises might be duly offered up to thee._

_Yet, O thou that breakest not the bruised reed nor quenchest the smoaking flax, do not despise the weakness of my prayers, nor the smotherings of my soul in this uncomfortable loannesse to which I am constrained by some mens uncharitable denials of those helps, which I much want, and no lesse desire._

_O let the hardness of their hearts occasion the softnings of mine to thee, and for them. Let their hatred kindle my love, let their unreasonable denials of my religious desires the more excite my prayers to thee: Let their inexorable deafnesse incline thine ear to me, who art a God easie to be intreated; thine ear is not heavie, that it cannot, nor thy heart hard, that it will not hear, nor thy hand shortned, that it cannot help me thy desolate Suppliant._

_Thou permittest men to deprive me of those outward means which thou hast appointed in thy Church; but they cannot debarre me from the communion of that inward grace, which thou alone breathest into humble hearts._

_O make me such, and thou wilt teach me, thou wilt hear me, thou wilt help me: The broken and contrite heart I know thou wilt not despise: Thou, O Lord canst at once make me thy temple thy Priest, thy Sacrifice, and thine Altar; while from an humble heart I (alone) daily offer up in Holy Meditations, fervent Prayers, and unfeigned Tears, my Self to thee; who preparest me for thee, dwellest in me and acceptest of me._

_Thou, O Lord, didst cause by secret supplies and miraculous infusions, that the handful of meal in the vessel should not spend, nor the little oyl in the cruise fail the widow, during the time of drought and dearth._

_O look on my soul, which as a widow, is now desolate and forsaken: Let not those saving truths I have formerly learned now fail my memory; nor the sweet effusions of thy Spirit, which I have sometime felt, now be wanting to my heart in this famine of ordinary and wholsom food for the refreshing of my soul._

_Which yet I had rather chuse then to feed from those hands who mingle my bread with ashes, and my wine with gall, rather tormenting, then teaching me; whose mouths are proner to bitter reproaches of me, then to hearty prayers for me._

_Thou knowest, O Lord of truth, how oft they wrest thy holy Scriptures to my destruction, (which are clear for their subjection, and my preservation) O let it not be to their damnation._

_Thou knowest how some men (under colour of long prayers) have sought to devour the houses of their Brethren, their King, and their God. O let not those mens balms break my head, nor their Cordials oppress my heart, I will evermore pray against their wickedness._

_From the poyson under their tongues, from the snares of their lips, from the fire, and the swords of their words ever deliver me, O Lord, and all those loyal and religious hearts, who desire and delight in the prosperity of my soul, and who seek by their prayers to relieve this sadness and solitude of thy servant, O my King and my God._

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25. Penitential Meditations and Vows in the Kings solitude at _Holmby_.

_Give ear to my words, O Lord, consider my Meditation, and hearken to the voyce of my cry, my King and my God, for unto thee will I pray._

_I said in my haste, I am cast out of the sight of thine eyes; nevertheless, thou hearest the voyce of my supplication, when I cry unto thee._

_If thou, Lord, shouldst be extream to mark what is done amiss, who can abide it? But there is mercy with thee, that thou mayest be feared; therefore shall sinners flie unto thee._

_I acknowledg my sins before thee, which have the aggravation of my condition; the eminencie of my place, adding weight to my offences._

_Forgive, I beseech thee, my personal, and my peoples sins; which are so far mine, as I have not improved the power thou gavest me, to thy glorie, and my Subjects good: Thou hast now brought me from the glorie and freedom of a King, to be a Prisoner to my own Subjects. Justlie, O Lord, as to thy over-ruling hand, because in many things I have rebelled against thee._

_Though thou hast restrained my person, yet enlarg my heart to thee, & thy grace towards me._

_I come far short of_ Davids __pietie; yet since I may equal Davids _afflictions, give me also the comforts, and the sure mercies of_ David.

_Let the penitent sense I have of my sins, be an evidence to me, that thou hast pardoned them._

_Let not the evils, which I and my Kingdoms have suffered seem little unto thee, though thou hast not punished us according to our sins._

_Turn thee (O Lord) unto me; have mercy upon me, for I am desolate and afflicted._

_The sorrows of my heart are enlarged: O bring thou me out of my troubles._

_Hast thou forgotten to be gracious, and shut up thy loving kindness in displeasure?_

_O remember thy compassions of old, and thy loving kindesses, which have been for many generations._

_I had utterly fainted, if I had not believed to see thy goodnesse in the land of the living._

_Let not the sins of our prosperitie deprive us of the benefit of thy afflictions._

_Let this fiery triall consume the drosse which in long peace and plentie we had contracted._

_Though thou continuest miseries, yet withdraw not thy grace; what is wanting of prosperitie, make up in patience and repentance._

_And if thy anger be not to be yet turned away, but thy hand of Justice must be stretched out still: Let it, I beseech thee, be against me, and my Fathers house; as for these sheep, what have they done?_

_Let my sufferings satiate the malice of mine, and thy Churches enemies._

_But let their crueltie never exceed the measure of my charitie._

_Banish from me all thoughts of Revenge, that I may not lose the reward, nor thou the glorie of my patience._

_As thou givest me an heart to forgive them, so I beseech thee, do thou forgive what they have done against thee and me._

_And now, O Lord, as thou hast given me an heart to pray unto thee; so hear and accept this Vow which I make before thee._

_If thou wilt in mercie remember Me, and my Kingdoms; In continuing the light of thy Gospel, and settling thy true Religion among us:_

_In restoring to us the benefits of the Laws, and the due execution of Justice:_

_In suppressing the many schismes in Church, and Factions in State:_

_If thou wilt restore me and mine to the Ancient rights and glory of my Predecessors:_

_If thou wilt turn the hearts of my people to thy self in Pietie, to me in Loyaltie, and to one another in Charitie:_

_If thou wilt quench the flames, and withdraw the fewell of these Civill Wars:_

_If thou wilt bless us with the freedom of Publike Counsels, and deliver the Honour of Parliaments from the insolency of the vulgar:_

_If thou wilt keep me from the great offence of enacting any thing against my Conscience: and especially for consenting to sacrilegious rapines, and spoilings of thy Church:_

_If thou wilt restore me to a capacity to glorifie thee in doing good, both to the Church and State:_

_Then shall my soul praise thee, and Magnifie thy name before my people._

_Then shall thy glorie be dearer to me then my Crown; and the advancement of true Religion both in puritie and power be my chiefest care._

_Then will I rule my People with justice, and my Kingdoms with equity:_

_To thy more immediate hand shal I ever own as the rightfull succession, so the mercifull restauration of my Kingdoms, and the glorie of them._

_If thou wilt bring me again with Peace safetie and honour, to my chiefest City and my Parliament:_

_If thou wilt again put the Sword of Justice into my hand to punish and protect:_

_Then will I make all the world to see, and my very Enemies to enjoy the benefit of this Vow and resolution of Christian charitie, which I now make unto thee O Lord._

_As I do freely pardon for Christ's sake those that have offended me in any kind; so my hand shall never be against any man to revenge what is past, in regard of any particular injurie done to me._

_We have been mutually punished in our unnaturall divisions, for thy sake O Lord, and for the love of my Redeemer have I purposed this in my heart, That I will use all means in the waies of amnesty, and indempnitie; which may most fullie remove all feares, and burie all jealousies in forgetfulnesse._

_Let thy mercies be towards me and mine, as my resolutions of Truth and Peace are towards my people._

_Hear my praier O Lord, which goeth not out of feigned lips._

_Blessed be God, who hath not turned away my prayer, or taken his mercy from me._

_O my soul commit thy way to the Lord, trust in him and he shall bring it to pass_.

_But if thou wilt not restore me and mine, what am I that I should charge thee foolishly?_

_Thou, ô Lord hast given, and thou hast taken, Blessed be thy name._

_May my people and thy Church be happie if not by me, yet without me._

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26. _Upon the Armies surprisall of the King at_ Holmby, _and the ensuing distractions in the two Houses, the Army, and the City._

What part God will have me now to act or suffer in this new and strange scene of affaires, I am not much solicitous; some little practise will serve that man, who only seeks to represent a part of honesty and honour.

This surprize of me tels the world, that a KING cannot be so low, but he is considerable, adding weight to that party where he appears.

This motion, like others of the Times, seems excentrique and irregular, yet not well to be resisted or quieted: Better swim down such a stream, then in vain to strive against it.

These are but the struglings of those twins, which lately one womb enclosed, the younger striving to prevail against the elder; what the Presbyterians have hunted after, the Independents now seek to catch for themselves.

So impossible it is for lines to be drawn from the center, and not to divide from each other, so much the wider, by how much they go farther from the point of union.

That the Builders of Babel should from division fall to confusion, is no wonder; but for those that pretend to build Jerusalem, to divide their tongues and hands, is but an ill Omen; and sounds too like the fury of those Zealots, whose intestine bitterness and divisions were the greatest occasion of the last fatall destruction of that Citie.

Well may I change my Keepers and Prison, but not my captive condition, onely with this hope of bettering, that those who are so much professed Patrons for the Peoples Liberties, cannot be utterly against the Liberty of their KING; what they demand for their own Consciences, they cannot in Reason deny to mine.

In this they seem more ingenuous, then the Presbyterian rigour, who sometimes complaining of exacting their conformity to laws, are become the greatest Exactours of other mens submission to their novel injunctions, before they are stamped with the Authority of Laws, which they cannot well have without my Consent.

'Tis a great argument, that the Independents think themselves manumitted from their Rivals service, in that they carry on a businesse of such consequence, as the assuming my Person into the Armies custody, without any commission, but that of their own will and power. Such as will thus adventure on a KING, must not be thought over-modest, or timerous to carry on any designe they have a mind to.

Their next motion menaces, and scares both the two Houses and the City: which soon after acting over again that former part of Tumultuary motions, (never questioned, punished or repented) must now suffer for both; and see their former sin in the glasse of the present terrours and distractions.

No man is so blinde as not to see herein the hand of divine Justice; They that by Tumults first occasioned the raising of Armies, must now be chastned by their own Army for new Tumults.

So hardly can men be content with one sin, but add sin to sin, till the later punish the former; such as were content to see Me and many Members of both Houses driven away by the first unsuppressed Tumults, are now forced to flie to an Armie or defend themselves against them.

But who can unfold the riddle of some mens justice? The Members of both Houses who at first withdrew (as my Self was forced to do) from the rudeness of the Tumults, were counted Deserters, and outed of their places in Parliament.

Such as stayed then, and enjoyed the benefit of the Tumults, were asserted for the onely Parliament-men: now the Fliers from, and Forsakers of their Places, carry the Parliamentary power along with them; complain highly against the Tumults, and vindicate themselves by an Armie: such as remained and kept their stations, are looked upon as Abettors of Tumultuary Insolencies, and Betrayers of the Freedom and Honour of Parliament.

Thus is Power above all Rule, Order, and Law; where men look more to present Advantages then their Consciences, and the unchangeable rules of Justice; while they are Judges of others, they are forced to condemn themselves.

Now the plea against Tumults holds good, the Authours and Abettors of them are guiltie of prodigious insolencies; when as before they were counted as Friends, and necessary Assistants.

I see Vengeance pursues and overtakes (as the Mice and Rats are said to have done the Bishop in _Germanie_) them that thought to have escaped, and fortified themselves most impregnably against it, both by their multitude and compliance.

Whom the Laws cannot, God will punish by their own crimes and hands.

I cannot but observe this divine Justice, yet with sorrow and pity; for, I always wished so well to Parliament and Citie, that I was sorry to see them do or suffer any thing unworthy such great and considerable Bodies in this Kingdom.

I was glad to see them onely scared and humbled, not broken by that shaking: I never had so ill a thought of those Cities, as to despair of their Loyaltie to Me; which mistakes might eclipse, but I never beleeved malice had quite put out.

I pray God the storm be yet wholly passed over them, upon whom I look as Christ did sometime over _Jerusalem_, as objects of my prayers and tears, with compassionate grief, foreseeing those severer scatterings which will certainly befall such as wantonly refuse to be gathered to their duty: fatall blindnesse frequently attending and punishing wilfulnesse, so that men shall not be able at last to prevent their sorrows, who would not timely repent of their sins; nor shall they be suffered to enjoy the comforts, who securely neglect the counsels belonging to their peace. They will finde that brethren in iniquitie are not far from becoming insolent Enemies, there being nothing harder then to keep ill men long in one minde.

Nor is it possible to gain a fair period for those notions which go rather in a round and circle of fansie, then in a right line of reason tending to the Law, the onely center of publike consistency; whither I pray God at last bring all sides.

Which will easily be done, when we shall fully see how much more happie we are, to be subject to the known Laws, then to the various wils of any men, seem they never so plausible at first.

Vulgar compliance with any illegal and extravagant wayes, like violent motions in nature, soon grows weary of itself, and ends in a refractory sullennesse: Peoples rebounds are oft in their faces, who first put them upon those violent strokes.

For the Army (which is so far excusable, as they act according to Souldiers principles, and interests, demanding pay and indemnity) I think it necessary, in order to the publike peace, that they should be satisfied, as far as is just; no man being more prone to consider them then my Self: though they have fought against Me, yet I cannot but so far esteem that valour and gallantry they have sometime shewed, as to wish I may never want such men to maintain my Self, my Laws, and my Kingdoms, in such a peace, as wherein they may enjoy their share and proportion, as much as any men.

_But thou, O Lord, who art perfect Unity in a sacred Trinity, in mercy behold those whom thy Justice hath divided._

_Deliver me from the strivings of my People, and make Me to see how much they need my prayers and pity, who agreed to fight against me, and yet are now ready to fight against one another, to the continuance of my Kingdoms distractions._

_Discover to all sides the ways of peace from which they have swerved: which consists not in the divided wils of Parties, but in the point and due observation of the Laws._

_Make me willing to go whither thou wilt lead me by thy providence; and be thou ever with me, that I may see thy constancy in the worlds varieti and changes._

_Make me even such as thou wouldst have Me, that I may at last enjoy that safetie and tranquillity which thou alone canst give Me._

_Divert, I pray thee, O Lord, thy heavie wrath justly hanging over those populous Cities, whose plenty is prone to add fewel to their luxurie, their wealth to make them wanton, their multitudes tempting them to securitie, and their securitie exposing them to unexpected miseries._

_Give them eys to see, hearts to consider, wils to embrace, and courage to act those things which belong to thy glorie, and the publique Peace, lest their calamitie come upon them as an armed man._

_Teach them that they cannot want Enemies who abound in sin; nor shall they be long un-disarmed and un-destroyed, who with an high hand persisting to fight against Thee, and the cleer convictions of their own Consciences, fight more against themselves, then ever they did against Me._

_Their sins exposing them to thy Justice, their riches to others injuries, their number to Tumults, and Tumults to confusion._

_Though they have with much forwardnesse helped to destroy Me; yet let not my fall be their ruine._

_Let Me not so much consider, hither what they have done, or I have suffered [chiefly at first, by them] as to forget to imitate my crucified Redeemer, to plead their ignorance for their pardon; and in my dying extremities to pray to Thee, O Father, to forgive them, for they know not what they did._

_The tears they have denied me in my saddest condition, give them grace to bestow upon themselves; who the lesse they were for me, the more cause they have to weep for themselves._

_O let not my blood be upon them and their Children, whom the fraud and faction of some, not the malice of all, have excited to crucifie me._