Chapter 11

The world may see how soon mens designe, like _Absoloms_, is by enormous actions to widen differences, and exasperate all sides to such distances, as may make all Reconciliation desperate.

Yet I thank God, I can not only with patience bear this, as other indignities, but with charity forgive them.

The integrity of my intentions is not jealous of any injury my expressions can do them, for although the confidence of privacy may admit of greater freedome in writing such letters, which may be liable to envious exceptions; yet the innocency of my chief purposes cannot be so obtained, or mis-interpreted by them, as not to let all men see, that I wish nothing more then a happy composure of differences with Justice & Honor, nor more to My own, then My peoples content, who have any sparks of Love or Loyalty left in them: who, by those my Letters may be convinced that I can both mind and act My own, and My Kingdomes Affaires, so as becomes a Prince; which Mine Enemies have alwayes been very loth should be beleeved of me, as if I were wholly confined to the Dictates and Directions of others; whom they please to brand with the names of Evil Counsellours.

Its probable some men will now look upon me as my own Counsellour, and having none else to quarrell with under that notion, they will hereafter confine their anger to my self: Although I know they are very unwilling I should enjoy the liberty of my own thoughts, or follow the light of my own Conscience, which they labour to bring into an absolute captivitie to themselves; not allowing me to think their Counsels to be other then good for me, which have so long maintained a War against Me.

The Victory they obtained that day, when my Letters became their prize, had been enough to have satiated the most ambitious thirst of popular glory among the Vulgar; with whom prosperity gaines the greatest esteem and applause as adversity exposeth to their greatest sleighting and dis-respect: As if good fortune were alwayes the shadow of Vertue and Justice, and did not oftner attend vitious and injurious actions, as to this world.

But I see no secular advantages seem sufficient to that cause, which began with Tumults, and depends chiefly upon the reputation with the vulgar.

They think no Victories so effectual to their designs, as those that most rout and waste My Credit with My People; in whose hearts they seek by all means to smother and extinguish all sparks of Love, Respect and Loyaltie to Me, that they may never kindle again, so as to recover Mine, the Laws & the Kingdoms Liberties, which some men seek to overthrow: The taking away of my Credit, is but a necessary preparation to the taking away of my Life and my Kingdoms; first I must seem neither fit to Live, nor worthy to Reign: By exquisite methods of cunning & crueltie, I must be compelled, first to follow the Funerals of my Honor, and then be destroyed: But I know Gods un-erring and impartial justice can & will over rule the most perverse wils and designs of men; he is able, and (I hope) will turn even the worst of mine Enemies thoughts and actions to my good.

Nor do I think, that by the surprize of my Letters, I have lost any more then so many papers: how much they have lost of that reputation, for Civility and Humanity (which ought to be paid to all men, and most becomes such as pretend to Religion) besides that of Respect and Honor, which they owe to their KING, present, and after-times will judge. And I cannot think that their own consciences are so stupid, as not to inflict upon them some secret impressions of that shame & dishonor which attends all unworthy actions have they never so much of publick flattery and popular countenance.

I am sure they can never expect the divine approbation of such indecent actions, if they do but remember how God blest the modest respect & filial tenderness which _Noah's_ Sons bare to their Father; nor did his open infirmity justifie _Cham's_ impudency, or exempt him from that curse of being _Servant of Servants_; which curse must needs be on them who seek by dishonorable actions to please the Vulgar, and confirm by ignoble acts, their dependance upon the People.

Nor can their malitious intentions be ever either excusable or prosperous, who thought to expose me to the highest reproach & contempt of my People, forgetting that duty of modest concealment which they owed to the Father of their Country, in case they had discovered any real uncomliness, which, I thank God they did not; who can, and I believe hath made Me more respected in the hearts of many (as he did _David_) to whom they thought, by publishing my private Letters, to have rendred me as a vile Person, not fit to be trusted or considered, under any Notion of Majesty.

_But thou, O Lord, whose wise and all disposing Providence ordereth the greatest contingences of humane affairs, make me to see the constancie of thy mercies to me, in the greatest advantages thou seemest to give the malice of my Enemies against me._

_As thou didst blast the council of_ Achitophel _turning it to_ Davids _good and his own ruine: so canst thou defeat their Designe, who intended by publishing my private Letters, nothing else but to render me more odious and contemptible to my People._

_I must first appeal to thy Omniscience, who canst witnesse my integritie, how unjust and false those scandalous misconstructions are, which my Enemies endevour by those papers of mine to represent unto the world._

_Make the evil they imagined, and displeasure they intended thereby against me, so to return on their own heads, that they may be ashamed, and covered with their own confusion as with a cloak._

_Thou seest how mine Enemies use all means to cloud mine Honour, to pervert my purposes, and to slander the footsteps of thine Annointed._

_But give me an heart content to be dishonoured for thy sake, and thy Churches good._

_Fix in me a purpose to honour thee, and then I know thou wilt honour me, either by restoring to me the enjoyment of that Power and Majesty, which thou hast suffered some men to seek to deprive me of; or by bestowing on me that Crown of Christian patience, which knows how to serve thee in honour or dishonour, in good report or evil._

_Thou, O Lord, art the fountain of goodness and honour; thou art cloathed with excellent Majesty; make me to partake of thy excellency for wisdom, justice and mercy, and I shall not want that degree of Honour and Majestie which becomes the Place in which thou hast set me; who art the lifter up of my head, and my Salvation._

_Lord, by thy Grace, lead me to thy Glory, which is both true and eternall._

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22. _Upon His Majesties Leaving_ Oxford, _and going to the_ Scots.

Although God hath given me three Kingdoms, yet in these He hath not now left me any place where I may with safety & Honor rest my head: shewing me that himself is the safest Refuge, and the strongest Tower of defence, in which I may put my trust.

In these extremities, I look not to man so much as to God: He will have it thus, that I may cast my self, and my now distressed Affairs upon his mercy, who hath both hearts and hands of all men in his dispose.

What Providence denies to Force, it may grant to Prudence; Necessity is now my Counsellor, and commands Me to study My safety by a disguised withdrawing from my chiefest strength, and adventuring upon their Loyalty, who first began my troubles. Happily, God may make them a means honorable to compose them.

This my confidence of them, may dis-arm & overcom them; my rendring my person to them, may engage their affection to me, who have oft professed, _They fought not against me, but for me_.

I must now resolve the riddle of their Loyalty: and give them opportunity to let the world see, they mean not what they do, but what they say.

Yet must God be my chiefest Guard; and my Conscience both my Counsellor and my Comforter: Though I put my body into their hands, yet I shall reserve my soul to God and my self; nor shall any necessities compell me, to desert mine honour, or swerve from my Judgement.

What they fought to take by force, shall now be given them in such a way of unusuall confidence of them, as may make them ashamed not to be really such as they ought, and professed to be.

God sees it not enough to desert me of all Military power to defend my Self, but to put me upon using their power, who seem to fight against me, yet ought in duty to defend me.

So various are all humane affairs, & so necessitous may the state of Princes be, that their greatest danger may be in their supposed safety, and their safety in their supposed danger.

I must now leave those that have Adhered to me, and apply to those that have Opposed me; this method of Peace may be more prosperous then that of War, both to stop the effusion of bloud, & to close those wounds already made: and in it I am no less solicitous for my Friends safety, then mine own; chusing to venture my Self upon further hazards, rather then expose their resolute Loyaltie to all extremities.

It is some skil in play to know when a game is lost; better fairly to give over, then to contest in vain.

I must now study to re-inforce my Judgment, and fortifie my mind with Reason and Religion, that I may not seem to offer up my Souls libertie, or make my Conscience their Captive; who ought at first to have used Arguments, not Arms, to have perswaded my consent to their demands.

I thank God, no success darkens or disguises Truth to me; and I shall no less conform my words to my inward dictates now, then if they had been as the words of a KING ought to be among loyal Subjects, _full of power_.

Reason is the divinest power. I shall never think my Self weakned, while I may make full and free use of that. No ecclipse of outward Fortune shall rob me of that light: what God hath denied of outward strength, his grace, I hope, will supply with inward resolutions; not morositie to deny, what is fit to be granted; but not to grant any thing which Reason and Religion bids me denie.

I shall never think my Self less then my Self, while I am able thus to preserve the integrity of my Conscience, the only Jewel now left me, which is worth keeping.

_O thou Soveraign of our Souls, the onely Commander of our Consciences; though I know not what to do, yet mine eyes are toward thee: To the protection of thy mercy I still commend my self._

_As thou hast preserved me in the day of Battell, so thou canst still shew me thy strength in my weaknesse._

_Be thou unto me in my darkest night a pillar of fire, to enlighten and direct me; in the day of my hottest affliction, be also a pillar of cloud to over-shadow and protect me; be to me both a Sun and a Shield._

_Thou knowest, that it is not any perverseness of will, but just perswasions of Honour, Reason, and Religion, which have made me thus far to hazard my Person, Peace, and Safetie, against those that by force have sought to wrest them from me._

_Suffer not my just resolutions to abate with my outward Forces; let a good Conscience alwaies accompany me in my solitude and desertions._

_Suffer me not to betray the powers of Reason, and that fortresse of my Soul which I am entrusted to keep for thee._

_Lead me in the paths of thy righteousnesse, and shew me thy salvation._

_Make my waies to please thee, and then thou wilt make mine enemies to be at peace with me._

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23. _Upon the_ Scots _delivering the_ KING _to the_ English, _and His Captivity at_ Holmeby.

Yet may I justifie those _Scots_ to all the world in this. That they have not deceived me; for I never trusted to them further then to men: if I am sold by them, I am only sorry they should do it: and that My price should be so much above My Saviors.

These are but further Essays which God will have Me make of mans uncertainty, the more to fix Me on himself, who never faileth them that trust in him; though the Reeds of _Ægypt_ break under the hand of him that leans on them, yet the Rock of _Israel_ will be an everlasting stay and defence.

Gods Providence commands Me to retire from all to himself, that in him I may enjoy My Self, which I lose, while I let out My hopes to others.

The solitude & captivity to which I am now reduced, gives Me leisure enough to study the worlds vanity and inconstancie.

God sees 'tis fit to deprive Me of Wife, Children, Armie, Friends, and Freedom, that I may be wholly his, who alone is all.

I care not much to be reckoned among the Unfortunate, if I be not in the black List of irreligious and sacrilegious Princes.

No Restraint shall ensnare my Soul in sin; nor gain that of me which may make my Enemies more insolent, my Friends ashamed, or my Name accursed.

They have no great cause to triumph, that they have got my Person into their power; since my Soul is still my own: nor shall they ever gain my Consent against my Conscience.

What they call obstinacie, I know God accounts honest constancie, from which Reason and Religion, as well as Honor, forbid Me to recede.

'Tis evident now, that it was not Evil Counsellors with Me, but a good Conscience in Me, which hath been fought against; nor did they ever intend to bring Me to my Parliament, till they had brought My mind to their obedience.

Should I grant what some men desire, I should be such as they with Me, not more a King, and far less both Man and Christian.

What Tumults and Armies could not obtain, neither shall Restraint; which though it have a little of safety to a Prince, yet it hath not more of danger.

The fear of men shall never be my snare; nor shal the love of any liberty entangle my soul: Better others betray me, then my self: and that the price of my liberty should be my conscience; the greatest injuries my Enemies seek to inflict upon me, cannot be without my own consent.

While I can deny with Reason, I shall defeat the greatest impressions of their malice, who neither know how to use worthily what I have already granted; nor what to require more of me but this, That I would seem willing to help them to destroy my self and mine.

Although they should destroy me, yet they shall have no cause to despise me.

Neither liberty nor life are so dear to me, as the peace of my Conscience, the Honor of my Crowns, and the welfare of my People; which my word may injure more then any War can do; while I gratifie a few to oppresse all.

The Laws wil by Gods blessing, revive, with the love and Loyaltie of my Subjects; if I bury them not by my Consent, and cover them in that grave of dishonor and injustice, which some mens violence hath digged for them.

If my Captivity or Death must be the price of their redemption, I grudge not to pay it.

No condition can make a King miserable, which carries not with it, his Souls, his Peoples, and Posterities thraldom.

After-times may see, what the blindnesse of this Age will not; and God may at length shew my Subjects, that I chuse rather to suffer for them, then with them; happily I might redeem my self to some shew of liberty, if I would consent to enslave them: I had rather hazard the ruine of one King, then to confirm many Tyrants over them, from whom I pray God deliver them, what ever becomes of me, whose solitude hath not left me alone.

_For thou, O God, infinitely Good, and Great, art with me, whose presence is better then life, and whose service is perfect freedom._

_Own me for thy Servant, and I shall never have cause to complain for want of that liberty which becomes a Man, a Christian, and a King._

_Blesse me still with Reason, as a Man; with Religion, as a Christian; and with constancie in Justice, as a King._

_Though thou sufferest me to be stript of all outward ornaments, yet preserve me ever in those enjoyments wherein I may enjoy thy self; and which cannot be taken from me against my will._

_Let no fire of affliction boile over my passion to any impatience or sordid fears._

_There be many that say of me, There is no help for me: do thou lift up the light of thy Countenance upon me, and I shall want neither Safetie, Libertie, nor Majestie._

_Give me that measure of patience and constancie which my condition now requires._

_My strength is scattered, my expectation from Men defeated, my Person restrained: O be not thou far from me, lest my enemies prevail too much against me._

_I am become a wonder, and a scorn to many: O be thou my helper and defender._

_Shew some token upon me for good, that they that hate me may be ashamed, because thou Lord, hast holpen and comforted me; for establish me with thy free Spirit, that I may do and suffer thy will, as thou wouldst have me._

_Be mercifull to me, O Lord, for my soul trusteth in thee: yea, and in the shadow of thy wings will I make my refuge, untill these calamities be over-past._

_Arise to deliver me, make no long tarrying, O my God. Though thou killest me, yet will I trust in thy mercy, and my Saviours merit._

_I know that my Redeemer liveth; though thou leadest me through the vail and shadow of death, yet shall I fear none ill._

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24. _Upon their denying His Majestie the Attendance of His Chaplains._

When providence was pleased to deprive Me of all other civil comforts and secular attendants, I thought the absence of them all might best be supplied by the attendance of some of my Chaplains, whom for their Function I reverence, and for their Fidelitie I have cause to love. By their Learning, Pietie, and Praiers, I hoped to be either better enabled to sustain the want of all other enjoyments, or better fitted for the recovery and use of them in Gods good time; so reaping by their pious help a spiritual harvest of grace amidst the thorns, and after the plowings of temporal crosses.

The truth is, I never needed or desired more the service and assistance of men judiciously pious, and soberly devout.

The solitude they have confined me unto, adds the wildernesse to my temptations: For the company they obtrude upon me, is more sad then any solitude can be.

If I had asked my Revenues, my power of the _Militia_, or any one of my Kingdoms, it had bin no wonder to have been denied in those things, where the evil policy of men forbids all just restitution, lest they should confess an injurious usurpation: But to deny me the ghostly comfort of my Chaplains seems a greater rigor & barbarity, then is ever used by christians to the meanest prisoners, & greatest malefactors, whom though the justice of the law deprive of worldly comforts, yet the mercy of religion allows them the benefit of their Clergy, as not aiming at once to destroy their Bodies, and to damn their Souls.

But my agony must not be relieved with the presence of any one good Angel; for such I account a learned, godly, and discreet Divine: and such I would have all mine to be.

They that envie my being a King, are loth I should be a Christian: while they seek to deprive me of all things else, they are afraid I should save my Soul.

Other sense, Charity it self can hardly pick out of those many harsh repulses I received, as to that request so often made for the attendance of some of my Chaplains.

I have sometime thought the Unchristiannes of those denials might arise from a displeasure some men had to see me prefer my own Divines before their Ministers: whom, though I respect for that worth and piety w^{ch} may be in them, yet I cannot think them so proper for any present comforters or Physitians, Who have (some of them at least) had so great an influence in occasioning these calamities, and inflicting these wounds upon Me.

Nor are the soberest of them so apt for that devotional compliance, and juncture of hearts, which I desire to bear in those holy Offices to be performed with me, and for me; since their judgments standing at a distance from me, or in jealousie of me, or in opposition against me, their Spirits cannot so harmoniously accord with mine, or mine with theirs, either in Prayer or other holy duties, as is meet, and most comfortable; whose golden rule, and bond of Perfection consists in that of mutual Love and Charitie.

Some remedies are worse then the disease, and some comforters more miserable then misery it self; when like _Job's_ friends, they seek not to fortifie ones minde with patience; but perswade a man by betraying his own Innocency, to despair of Gods mercy; and by justifying their injuries, to strengthen the hands, and harden the heart of insolent Enemies.

I am so much a friend to all Church-men, that have any thing in them beseeming that sacred Function, that I have hazarded my own interests, chiefly upon Conscience and Constancie, to maintain their Rights; whom the more I looked upon as Orphans, and under the sacrilegious eyes of many cruell and rapacious Reformers; so I thought it my dutie the more to appear as a Father, and a Patron for them and the Church. Although I am very unhandsomly requited by some of them; who may live to repent no lesse for My sufferings, then their own ungrateful errours, and that injurious contempt and meannesse, which they have brought upon their Calling and Persons.

I pity al of them, I despise none: only I thought I might have leave to make choice of some for My special Attendance, who were best approved in My Judgment & most sutable to My affection: For, I held it better to seem undevout, and to hear no mans Praiers, then to be forced, or seem to comply with those Petitions to which the heart cannot consent, nor the tongue say _Amen_, without contradicting a mans own understanding, or belying his own Soul.

In Devotions, I love neither profane boldnesse, nor pious non-sence; but such an humble and judicious gravitie as shews the Speaker to be at once considerate both of Gods Majestie, the Churches Honour, and his own vilenesse; both knowing what things God allows him to ask, and in what manner it becomes a sinner to supplicate the divine mercie for himself, and others.

I am equally scandalised with all Praiers, that sound either imperiously, or rudely, and passionately; as either wanting humilitie to God, or charitie to men, or respect to the dutie.

I confess I am better pleased as with studied and premeditated Sermons, so with such publick Forms of Praier, as are fitted to the Churches and every Christians daily and common necessities; because I am by them better assured, what I may join my heart unto, then I can be of any mans extemporary sufficiencie: which as I do not wholly exclude from publick occasions; so I allow its just libertie and use in private and devout retirements; where neither the solemnities of the dutie, nor the modest regards to others, do require so great exactness as to the outward manner of performance; Though the light of understanding, and the fervencie of affections I hold the main and most necessarie requisites both in constant, and occasionall, solitairie, and sociall Devotions.

So that I must needs seem to all equal minds with as much reason to prefer the service of my own Chaplains before that of their Ministers, as I do the Liturgie before their Directorie.

In the one I have been alwaies educated and exercised; In the other, I am not yet Catechized, nor acquainted: And if I were, yet should I not by that, as by any certain rule and Canon of Devotion, be able to follow or find out the indirect extravagancies of most of those men, who highly cry up that as a piece of rare composure and use, which is already as much despised and disused by many of them, as the Common-Prayer sometimes was by those men; a great part of whose Pietie hung upon that popular pin of railing against, and contemning the Government, and Liturgie of this Church. But, I had rather be condemned to the wo of _Væ soli_, then to that of _Væ vobis Hypocritæ_, by seeming to pray what I do not approve.

It may be, I am esteemed by my Denyers sufficient of my Self to discharge my dutie to GOD as a Priest, though not to Men as a Prince.