Chapter 8

But this maxim, _Nullum violentum durabile_, has been verified a great many times, upon this subject of drunkenness, for all the laws made against it have not long subsisted.

Pentheus[1], king of Thebes, endeavoured to extirpate entirely the custom of getting drunk; but he did not find his account in it, for he was very ill-treated by his subjects for his pains.

Lycurgus[2], king of Thrace, commanded all the vines of the country to be cut up; for which he was justly punished by Bacchus. He also made laws against drunkenness, which one may reckon amongst the bad ones that he instituted. As,

I. _The using women in common._

II. _The nudity of young women in certain solemn festivals._

"Pittacus[3], one of the wise men of Greece, commanded, that he who committed a fault when he was drunk, should suffer a double punishment. And amongst the laws of Solon, there was one, which condemned to death the chief magistrate if he got drunk. Amongst the Indians, who only just touch wine in the ceremonies of their sacrifices, the law commands, that the woman who killed one of their kings, should get drunk, and marry his successor."

[4]The Athenians had also very severe laws against those that should get drunk; but one may say, these laws resembled those of Draco, which were written rather with blood than ink.

We come now to the Turks. Sir Paul Ricaut[5] tells us several particulars on this head. Amurath, says he, resolved, in the year 1634, to forbid entirely the use of wine. He put out a severe edict, which commanded all the houses where they sold wine to be razed, the barrels wherever they should be found to be staved, and the wine to be let out into the streets. And that he might truly be satisfied his orders were obeyed, he frequently disguised himself, and walked in that manner about the city; and when he found any one carrying wine, he sent him to prison, and had him bastinadoed almost to death. One day he met in the streets a poor deaf man, who not hearing the noise usually made at the approach of the sultan, did not soon enough avoid a prince whose presence was so fatal. This negligence cost him his life. He was strangled by order of the grand seignior, who commanded his body to be cast into the street. But this great severity did not last long, and all things returned to their former condition.

However, matters took again another turn under the reign of Mahomet the IVth. who, in 1670, resolved to forbid all the soldiery the use of wine. The terrible seditions that liquor had formerly raised were remembered, and especially that which happened under Mahomet the Third, who saw his seraglio forced by a great multitude of soldiers full of wine, and whose fury he could not free himself from, but by sacrificing his principal favourites. An edict was published, to prohibit entirely the use of wine, and to command all those who had any in their houses, to send it out of town. The same extended all over the empire. The sultan condemned to death those who should violate this decree, in which he spoke of wine as of a liquor infernal, invented by the devil to destroy the souls of men, to disturb their reason, and put states into combustion. This was rigorously put in execution, and to that extremity, that it cost the ambassador of England, and the christian merchants of Constantinople, great solicitations, and large sums of money, to get leave to make only as much wine as would suffice for their own families. At Smyrna, the officers of the grand seignior had not the same indulgence for the christians, who were one whole year without wine; and it was with great difficulty they got leave to import it from the isles of the Archipelago, and other places not comprised in that prohibition; for this prohibition reached only those places where there were mosques. Besides all this, they made every Friday sermons stuffed full of declamations against those who should drink it. In short, this edict was so severe, that wine seemed to be banished for ever the states of the grand seignior. But in about a year's time its severity was somewhat remitted. The ambassadors, and other christians, had leave to make wine within themselves; and about a year after that, the indulgence for wine was general, the taverns were opened, and at this day that liquor is as common as it was before.

[[Footnote a: Horace, _Satire_ I.ii.24.]]

[Footnote 1: Sphinx. Theol. p. 669.]

[Footnote 2: Hist. 7 Sap.]

[Footnote 3: Chevreana, t. i. p. 217.]

[Footnote 4: Hist. 7 Sap.]

[Footnote 5: See his Turkish Hist.]

CHAP. XXVIII.

RULES TO BE OBSERVED IN GETTING DRUNK. I. NOT TOO OFTEN. II. IN GOOD COMPANY.

To avoid the disorders that drunkenness might cause, here are some rules that ought to be observed in this important affair of getting drunk; for, according to Pliny, the art of getting drunk has its laws.

Haec ars suis legibus constat.[a]

I. The first, and principal of these, is not to get drunk too often. This is what Seneca[1] recommends very much. "You must not," says he, "do it often, for fear it grow into a habit; it is but only sometimes you should make your spirits gay in banishing gloomy sobriety."

And if any person objects, That if one gets drunk sometimes, one shall do it often. I deny the consequence, and say in the words of the philosopher, an axiom held by both universities, that

Ab actu ad habitum non valet consequentia.

II. Second rule. One must not get drunk but in good company. That is to say, with good friends, people of wit, honour, and good humour, and where there is good wine. For example, a man in former times would have done very ill to get drunk with Heliogabalus, whose historian[2] reports, that after having made his friends drunk, he used to shut them up in an apartment, and at night let loose upon them lions, leopards, and tigers, which always tore to pieces some of them. On the other hand, the best wine in the world will taste very bad in bad company. It is therefore that Martial reproaches one, that he spoiled his good wine with his silly babbling.

Verbis mucida vina facis.[2a]

[[Footnote a: Pliny, _Natural History_ XIV.50 (or XIV.xxviii.146).]]

[Footnote 1: De Tranquillitate.]

[Footnote 2: AElius Lamprid. in Vit. Heliogab.]

[[Footnote 2a: Martial VIII.vi.4.]]

CHAP. XXIX.

THIRD RULE, WITH GOOD WINE.

When one has a mind to get drunk, one should make choice of good wine, and not drink bad, which is prejudicial to health. For example, green wine is very bad; this Guilleaume Cretin[1], a great punster, has expressed in these verses, which, I own, I am not able to put into English:--

"Par ce vin verds Atropos a trop os Des corps humains ruez envers en vers Dont un quidam apre aux pots a propos A fort blame les tours pervers en vers."

Good wine, on the contrary, has very good effects. Erasmus[2] preserved himself from the plague, by drinking a glass of Burgundy at a proper season.

You see now the efficacy of good wine, which, to be in its perfection, the adepts in the free-schools of Liber Pater say, must have these four properties, and please these four senses:-- the taste by its savour, the smell by its flavour, the sight by its clean and bright colour, and the ear by the fame of the country where it grows. Old wine was looked upon to be the best by the ancients.

A beauty, when advanc'd in age, No more her lovers can engage; But wine, the rare advantage, knows, It pleases more, more old it grows.

And were they never so old themselves, they would still, if possible, have the wine older than they were. _Nec cuiquam adeo longa erat vita, ut non ante se genita potaret_[3]. Which these words of Seneca[4] also confirm, "Why at your house do you drink wine older than yourself? _Cur apud te vinum apud te vetustius bibitur._"

Martial says, "Do you ask me of what consulate this wine is? It was before there were any consuls in the world.

"De sinuessanis venerunt massica praelis: Condita quo quaeris consule? nullus erat."[4a]

At present the fame of the best wine in Europe is reckoned to be, that of Monte Fiascone, two days journey from Rome. Here it was a German abbot killed himself by drinking too much of this delicious creature. The story is this, and it is related in Lassell's Travels:--

A certain German abbot, travelling to Rome, ordered his servant to ride before him, and when he found the best wine, to chalk upon the door of the inn (in order to save time) the word _EST_. Coming to Monte Fiascone, he found it so excellent, that he put down, _Est, Est, Est_, which the abbot finding true, drank so plentifully of it, that he went no farther on his journey, but lies buried, they say, in the cathedral church, with this epitaph, written by his servant the purveyor.

Est, Est, Est, et Propter nimium Est, Herus meus Dominus Abbas mortuus Est.

The wine called Lachrymae Christi, or the Tears of Christ, is a most delicious wine. At least a master of arts of the university of Cologn thought so, who going also to Rome, drank at the same place pretty heartily of it, and out of the abundance of his heart cried out,

Utinam Christus lachrymatus fuisset in nostra patria.

I wish Christ had shed tears in our country.

M. Hofman believes, that Rhenish wine is the best of all wines for one's health.

There grows also most excellent wines in France, such as Champagne.

Wenceslaus[5], king of Bohemia and the Romans, being come into France on account of some negociations with Charles the Sixth, arrived at Rheins in the month of March, 1397. When he was in that city he found the wine so good, that he got drunk more than once; and being one day in that condition, that he could not enter into any serious discourses, he rather chose to grant what was asked of him than leave off drinking.

The wines of Burgundy must not be forgotten, which some prefer to Champagne. "Baudius called vin de beaulne, vinum deorum, the wine of the gods[6]."

The wines of Ai are also very excellent. S. Evremont[7] says, that Leo the Tenth, Charles the Fifth, Francis the First, and Hen. VIII. king of England, did not think it below their dignity, amongst the most important affairs of state, to take care to have the wines of Ai. Henry IV. caused himself to be styled lord of Ai and Gonesse.

But I shall desire my readers here to observe two things, First, That artificial wines, and a many other liquors, containing a great deal of gross, viscous matter, excite a drunkenness more long and dangerous than that which is produced by ordinary wines. Another thing is, Never to get drunk with brandy, spirits, and strong waters. Patin[8] says very pleasantly, that these are sugared poisons which surely kill: they give life to those who sell them, and death to those who use them.

[Footnote 1: Rem. sur. Rabel. t. iii. p. 39.]

[Footnote 2: Journ. des Scav. June, 1706.]

[Footnote 3: Plin.] [[_Natural History_ XIX.20 (or XIX.xix.53).]]

[Footnote 4: De Vit. beat. c. 17.]

[[Footnote 4a: Martial XIII.111.]]

[Footnote 5: Journ. de Scav. June, 1706.]

[Footnote 6: Patimana, p. 34.]

[Footnote 7: Lett. S. Evrem.]

[Footnote 8: Vign. Marvill, t. ii. p. 7.]

CHAP. XXX.

FOURTH RULE, AT CONVENIENT TIMES.

Though one must not get drunk every day, one may, notwithstanding, on certain occasions. One must sometimes unbend the mind.

Neque semper arcum tendit Apollo.[a]

And when a man puts on the air of a philosopher, it is then he turns fool in affecting to be wise.

There is a time for all things, and so there is in getting drunk, that is, getting drunk with decency and decorum; and there are some times which are not convenient to do so. As for example, (for I love to illustrate what I advance,) it does not suit with decorum for a judge to be drunk on the bench; nor a crier in the court exercising his office, [hiccup, ki---- book;] a parson in the pulpit; an experimental philosopher in shewing of his gimcracks; nor a freemason on the top of a church-steeple.

But it suits very well with strict decorum, to get drunk at a public rejoicing after a signal victory.

When the proud Gaul sustain'd an overthrow By the immortal MARLBOROUGH, Ever invincible! then you and I, My Thirsis, shar'd the common joy. Blenheim and Ramillies were then our song, The day tho' short, the night was long, Till both with mighty claret glow'd, And tipsy, to our beds were shew'd.

We may also very decently get drunk with a friend we have not seen a long while.

Here 'tis----O welcome, flask divine, How bright does thy vermillion shine! Thou charming native of Dijon[1], At thy approach my cares are flown, Sad melancholy is no more, Which rack'd and plagu'd my soul before. Whether thy influence incites, (Sweet influence) to soft delights; Or else dost other measures keep, And gently urge to peaceful sleep. O may'st thou still such streams bestow, Still with such ruddy torrents flow. Damon, this bottle is your due, And more I have in store for you Under the sun the faithfullest friend; I've kept them for no other end. Drink then a bumper, 'tis a folly, Dear Damon, to be melancholy.

However rigorous the Roman laws were against drunkenness, they permitted it nevertheless on their festivals; witness what a young man said to his father in presence of the people. "[2]No father," says he, "I have no reason to be ashamed for having taken a little more wine than ordinary at a feast with my companions." _Non est res qua embescam, Pater, si die festo inter aequales largiore vino fui usus._

The Persian soldiers, who otherwise lived very soberly, were permitted to get drunk once a year[3].

In Georgia, he who did not get quite drunk at their principal holidays, as at Easter and Christmas, was not looked upon to be a christian, and ought to be excommunicated. [4]So that, according to this, getting drunk at certain convenient times amongst these christians, was so far from being unlawful, that a man was not looked upon to be orthodox, without he did so. Getting drunk is therefore very orthodox.

[[Footnote a: Horace, _Odes_ II.x.19-20.]]

[Footnote 1: Dijon, chief city in Burgundy.]

[Footnote 2: Tit. Liv. lib. iv. ch. 14.]

[Footnote 3: Alex. ab Alex, lib, ii. ch. 11.]

[Footnote 4: Voyag. de Chard. t. ii. 129.]

CHAP. XXXI.

FIFTH RULE, TO FORCE NO ONE TO DRINK.

It is very ridiculous and unreasonable to force any one to drink, because the taking away liberty spoils company, the benefit of which cannot subsist without freedom. Besides, every man's capacity of drinking is not the same; one shall be able to drink a gallon, and another a pint; the latter, therefore, by drinking a pint, has drank as much as the former when he has taken off his gallon, because they both have drank as they can, and ------ Ferdinando ------ No man can do more than he can do. Let every man, therefore, have the liberty to drink as he pleases, without being tied up to the mad laws of drinking. I am of the same opinion in this matter with brother Horace:--

Prout cuiq; libide est Siccat inequales calices conviva solutus Legibus insanis, sen quis capit acria fortis Pocula, seu modicis humescit laetius----[a]

We learn from history, that there was an ancient law amongst the Persians, that forbad anyone to force another to drink. The Lacedemonians also had that laudable custom.

Charlemagne also made a law, that prohibited forcing any one to drink.

Mr. Bayle reports a very pleasant revenge that M. Peyren gave to Raphael Thorius, a very learned person, who would force him to drink, which take as follows. "[1]M. Peyren dining at London with several persons of learning, could not be discharged from drinking a health that Dr. Thorius toasted. The glass was of a prodigious size, which M. Peyren, for that reason, a long while refused, and alleged a thousand reasons, but all in vain; he must empty the glass. Before he did it he made this agreement with his antagonist, that he should drink a health afterwards that he should toast to him; which being consented to, he took off the bumper, and filled the glass full of water, and drank it off to the doctor, who thereupon was thunderstruck, but seeing he could not get off, sighed deeply, and lifted the glass a thousand times to his lips, and as often drew it back again: he called to his assistance all the quaint sayings of the Greek and Latin poets, and was almost the whole day drinking that cursed bumper."

This is not much unlike what M. Chevreau reports of Marigni, who, "[2]after having dined at one of the best eating-houses in Frankfort, with six or seven persons of quality, was called to the sideboard, where one of them began the emperor's health. This he must drink, and as he foresaw very well, that this extravagance would be attended with others, he ordered three or four great pieces of bread to be brought to him, and having eaten half of one to the health of the king of France, he gave the other half to the other, who took it, indeed, but would not so much as put it to his mouth. The company surprized at so unexpected a novelty, let him alone without any contradiction."

Nevertheless, one should be very diligent in observing this rule, which is, That when we find ourselves in the company of people that drink, and would not run those lengths they are going to do, to retire; and this was a standing law amongst the Greeks in their festivals, and ought to be as unalterable as the laws of the Medes and Persians, viz.

DRINK, OR GO ABOUT YOUR BUSINESS.

[[Footnote a: Horace, _Satires_ II.6.67-70.]]

[Footnote 1: Diction, p. 2875. Art. Thor.]

[Footnote 2: Chevraeana, t. ii. p. 188.]

CHAP. XXXII.

SIXTH RULE, NOT TO PUSH DRUNKENNESS TOO FAR.

It is certain, that to do well, we ought continually to have an eye to this maxim of Horace, viz. _Est modus in rebus_. And the _Ne quid nimis_ of Terence; but especially, in this grand and most important affair of drunkenness. Seneca very well distinguishes two sorts of drunkenness, one which entirely _buries_ our reason; and the other, which only _diverts_ melancholy and chagrin. The last we believe to be very lawful; but we would have it go farther, even so far, as not only _to divert_, but to _drive away_ our cares entirely, or else not to get drunk at all. That which is between these, if any such there can be, does one an injury, according to the poet:--

Aut nulla ebrietas, aut tanta sit ut tibi curas Eripiat, si quae est inter utramque nocet.[a]

After this manner would we have people use the juice of the grape; that is, to go so far as to make our hearts merry, gay, and sprightly, and so as to forget our cares.

It would be here useless to shew, by a great many examples, the disorders that drunkenness has caused, when pushed too far, because it was never the intention of this work, but to divert (as wine was designed to do) and make merry, I shall therefore conclude the whole with an Ode to Bacchus, as follows:--

[[Footnote a: Ovid, _Remedium Amoris_ 809-810.]]

AN ODE TO BACCHUS.

I.

Let's sing the glories of the god of wine, May his immortal praise Be the eternal object of our song, And sweetest symphonies; may ev'ry tongue And throat sonorous, vocal music raise, And ev'ry grateful instrument combine To celebrate, great god, thy power divine. Let other poets to the world relate, Of Troy, the hard, unhappy fate; And in immortal song rehearse, Purpled with streams of blood the Phrygian plain; The glorious hist'ry of Achilles slain, And th' odious memory of Pelop's sons revive in verse.

II.

God of the grape, thou potent boy, Thou only object of our cordial vows, To thee alone I consecrate my heart, Ready to follow thee in ev'ry part: Thy influence sweet mirth bestows, For thee alone I'd live and die in scenes of joy. Thy bounty all our wishes still prevents; Thy wond'rous sweetness calms to soft repose Our wild regrets and restless woes, And richly ev'ry craving mind contents. Without thee Venus has no charms; You constancy to am'rous souls impart, And hopes bestow to each despairing heart,

III.

But, what involuntary transports roll, And seize, at once, my agitated soul! Into what sacred vale! what silent wood! (I speak not by the vulgar understood,) Am I, O god! O wond'rous deity! Ravish'd, brimful of thy divinity and thee! To my (once infidel) believing eyes Bacchus unveils entire his sacred mysteries. Movements confus'd of joy and fear Hurry me I know not where. With boldness all divine the god inspires; With what a pleasing fury am I fill'd! Such raging fires Never the Menades in Thracian caves beheld.

IV.

Descend, O mother-queen of love, Leave a while the realms above; With your gay presence grace the feast Of that great god, who bears a boundless sway, Who conquer'd climates where first rose the day. Descend, O mother-queen of love, At rich repasts an ever welcome guest; But O ----, too long you stay, Already young Amyntor, brisk and gay, His lovely Doris o'er the plain pursues: The sparkling juice at Sylvan nymphs command Richly distils from their ambrosial hand, And old Silenus copiously bedews.

V.

Hence, ye profane, I hate ye all, fly, quit the field, My ready soul gives way To those gay movements, this important day Inspires, so to the conq'ror willing captives yield. Come, faithful followers of Bacchus' train, (Bacchus, most lovely of the gods) Enter these bless'd abodes. On high his verdant banners rear, And quick the festival prepare. Reach me my lute, a proper air The chords shall sound; the trembling chords obey, And join to celebrate this glorious day.

VI.

But 'midst the transports of a pleasing rage Let's banish ever hence, By a blind vapour rais'd, and vain pretence, Those loud seditious clamours that engage Only inhuman, brutish souls, By barb'rous Scythians only understood, Who cruelly their flowing bowls At banquets intermix with streams of blood. Dreadful, preposterous, merriment! Our hands all gayly innocent, Ought ne'er in such confusion bear a part, Polluted with a savage Centaur's mortal dart.

VII.

From this sweet innocent repast, (Too exquisite, alas! to last) Let's ever banish the rude din of arms, Frightful Bellona, and her dread alarms. The dire confusions of pernicious war, The satyrs, fauns, and Bacchus, all abhor. Curs'd be those sanguinary mortals, who Of reeking blood with crimson tides The sacred mysteries imbrue Of our great god who over peace presides.

VIII.

But if I must wage war, If so necessity commands, Follow, my friends, advance your hands, Let us commence the pleasing jar. With wreaths of ivy be our temples bound, Hark! to arms, to arms, they sound, Th' alarm to battle calls, Lend me your formidable Thyrse, ye Bacchanals. Double your strokes. Bold----bolder yet, 'Tis done-------- How many rivals conquer'd lie? How many hardy combatants submit? O son of Jupiter, thy deity, And sovereign power, we own, and aid divine; Nothing but heaps of jolly topers slain I see extended on the plain, Floating in ruddy streams of reeking wine.

IX.

Io victoria to our king, To Bacchus songs of triumph let us sing; His great immortal name Let us aloud to distant worlds proclaim. Io victoria to our king, To Bacchus grateful strains belong; O! may his glories live in endless song, The vanquish'd welt'ring on the sand, One health from us their conqu'ror demand. Fill me a bumper. Trumpet sound, Second my voice, loud, louder yet, Sound our exploits, and their defeat, Who quiet, undisturb'd, possess the ground. Io victoria to our king, To Bacchus, songs of triumph let us sing.