Chapter 33

do. xvii. Allow no private meals; only those in Hall.

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Stanzas and Couplets of Counsel: Sidenotes

Never mistrust or fail your friend. Don’t talk too much. Spare your master’s goods as your own. A lawless youth, a despised old age. A Gentleman says the best he can of every one.

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The schoole of Vertue: Sidenotes

First, say this prayer: “O God! enable us to follow virtue. Defend us this day. Let us abound with virtues, flee from vice, and go forward in good doing to our live’s end.” Repeat the Lord’s Prayer night and morning.

_How to wash and dress yourself._ Don’t sleep too long. Rise early; cast up your bed, and don’t let it lie. Go down, salute your parents, wash your hands, comb your head, brush your cap and put it on. Tie on your shirt-collar, fasten your girdle, rub your breeches, clean your shoes, wipe your nose on a napkin, pare your nails, clean your ears, wash your teeth. Have your torn clothes mended, or new ones obtained. Get your satchell and books, and haste to School, taking too pen, paper, and ink, which are necessary for use at school. Then start off.

_How to behave going to, and at, School._ Take off your cap to those you meet; give way to passers by. Call your playmates on your road. At School salute your master, and the scholars. Go straight to your place, undo your satchell, take out your books and learn your lesson; stick well to your books. If you don’t work, you’ll repent it when you grow up. Who could now speak of famous deeds of old, had not Letters preserved them? Work hard then, and you’ll be thought worthy to serve the state. Men of low birth win honour by Learning, and then are doubly happy. When you doubt, ask to be told. Wish well to those who warn you. On your way home walk two and two orderly (for which men will praise you); don’t run in heaps like a swarm of bees like boys do now. Don’t whoop or hallow as in fox-hunting don’t chatter, or stare at every new fangle, but walk soberly, taking your cap off to all, and being gentle. Do no man harm; speak fair words. On reaching home salute your parents reverently.

_How to wait at table._ Look your parents in the face, hold up your hands, and say Grace before meate. Grace before Meat. Make a low curtesy; wish your parents’ food may do ’em good. If you are big enough, bring the food to table. Don’t fill dishes so full as to spill them on your parents’ dress, or they’ll be angry. Have spare trenchers ready for guests. See there’s plenty of everything wanted. Empty the Voiders often. Be at hand if any one calls. When the meat is over, clear the table: 1. cover the salt, 2. have a tray by you to carry things off on, 3. put the trenchers, &c., in one Voider, 4. sweep the crumbs into another, 5. set a clean trencher before every one, 6. put on Cheese, Fruit, Biscuits, and 7. serve Wine, Ale or Beer. When these are finished, clear the table, and fold up the cloth. Then spread a clean towel, bring bason and jug, and when your parents are ready to wash, and when your parents are ready to wash, pour out the water. Clear the table; make a low curtsey.

_How to behave at your own dinner._ Let your betters sit above you. See others served first, then wait a while before eating. Take salt with your knife, cut your bread, don’t fill your spoon too full, or sup your pottage. Have your knife sharp. Don’t smack your lips or gnaw your bones: avoid such beastliness. Keep your fingers clean, wipe your mouth before drinking. Don’t jabber or stuff. Silence hurts no one, and is fitted for a child at table. Don’t pick your teeth, or spit too much. Behave properly. Don’t laugh too much. Learn all the good manners you can. They are better than playing the fiddle, though that’s no harm, but necessary; yet manners are more important.

_How to behave at Church._ Pray kneeling or standing. Confess your sins to God. He knows your disease. Ask in faith, and what you ask you shall have; He is more merciful than pen can tell. Behave nicely in church, and don’t talk or chatter. Behave reverently; the House of Prayer is not to be made a fair. Avoid dicing and carding. Delight in Knowledge, Virtue, and Learning. Happy is he who cultivates Virtue. Cursed is he who forsakes it. Let reason rule you, and subdue your lusts. These ills come from gambling: strife, murder, theft, cursing and swearing.

_How to behave when conversing._ Understand a question before you answer it; let a man tell all his tale. Then bow to him, look him in the face, and answer sensibly, not staring about or laughing, but audibly and distinctly, your words in due order, or you’ll straggle off, or stutter, or stammer, which is a foul crime. Always keep your head uncovered. Better unfed than untaught.

_How to take a Message._ Listen to it well; don’t go away not knowing it. Then hurry away, give the message; get the answer, return home, and tell it to your master exactly as it was told to you.

_Against Anger, &c._ The slave of Anger must fall. Anger’s deeds are strange to wise men. A hasty man is always in trouble. Take no revenge, but forgive. Envy no one. An ill body breeds debate.

_The Fruits of Charity, &c._ Charity seeketh not her own, but bears patiently. Charity seeketh not her own, but bears patiently. Love incites to Mercy. Patience teaches forbearance. Pray God to give thee Charity and Patience, to lead thee to Virtue’s School, and thence to Eternal Bliss.

_Against Swearing._ Take not God’s name in vain, or He will plague thee. Beware of His wrath, and live well in thy vocation. What is the good of swearing? It kindles God’s wrath against thee. God’s law forbids swearing, and so does the counsel of Philosophers.

_Against filthy talking._ Never talk dirt. For every word we shall give account at the Day of Doom, and be judged according to our deeds. Let lewd livers then fear. Keep your tongue from vain talking.

_Against Lying._ To speak the truth needs no study, therefore always practise it and speak it. Shame is the reward of lying. Always speak the truth. Who can trust a liar? If a lie saves you once, it deceives you thrice.

_A bedward Prayer._ God of mercy, take us into Thy care. Forgive us our sins. Deliver us from evil, and our enemy the Devil. Assist us to conquer him and ascribe all honour to Thee.

_Each one’s Duty._ The Duty of Princes, Judges, Prelates, Parents, Children, Masters, Servants, Husbands. The Duty of Wives, Parsons and Vicars, Men of Law, Craftsmen, Landlords, Merchants, Subjects, Rich Men, Poor Men, Magistrates, Officers, The Duty of all Men. God grant us all to live and die well!

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Whate-ever thow sey, avyse thee welle: Sidenotes

A man must mind what he says; hearts are fickle and fell. Take care what you say. A false friend may hear it, and after a year or two will repeat it. Hasty speech hurts hearer and speaker. In the beginning, think on the end. You tell a man a secret, and he’ll betray it for a drink of wine. Mind what you say. Avoid backbiting and flattering; refrain from malice, and bragging. A venomous tongue causes sorrow. When words are said, regret is too late. Mind what you say. Had men thought of this, many things done in England would never have been begun. To speak aright observe six things: 1. what; 2. of whom; 3. where; 4. to whom; 5. why; 6. when. In every place mind what you say. Almighty God, grant me grace to serve Thee! Mary, mother, send me grace night and day!

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A Dogg Lardyner, & a Sowe Gardyner: Sidenotes

A dog in a larder, a sow in a garden, a fool with wise men, are ill matcht.

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Roger Ascham’s Advice to Lord Warwick’s Servant: Sidenotes

Fear God, serve your lord faithfully, be courteous to your fellows. Despise no poor man. Carry no tales. Tell no lies. Don’t play at dice or cards. Take to your lord’s favourite sport. Beware of idleness. Always be at hand when you’re wanted. Diligence will get you praise. God be with you!

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The Babees Book: Sidenotes

My God, support me while I translate this treatise from Latin. It shall teach those of tender age. To know and practise virtues is the most profitable thing in the world. Young Babies, adorned with grace, I call on you to know this book (for Nurture should accompany beauty), and not on aged men expert therein. Why add pain to hell, water to the sea, or heat to fire? Babies, my book is for you only, and so I hope no one will find fault with it, but only amend it. The only reward I seek is that my book may please all and improve you. If you don’t know any word in it, ask till you do, and then keep hold of it. And do not wonder at this being in metre. I must first describe how you Babies who dwell in households should behave at meals, and be ready with lovely and benign words when you are spoken to. Lady Facetia, help me! Thou art the Mother of all Virtue. Help the ignorance of me untaught! Fair Babies, when you enter your lord’s place, say “God speed,” and salute all there. Kneel on one knee to your lord. If any speak to you, look straight at them, and listen well till they have finished; do not chatter or let your eyes wander about the house. Answer sensibly, shortly, and easily. Many words are a bore to a wise man. Stand till you are told to sit: keep your head, hands, and feet quiet: don’t scratch yourself, or lean against a post, or handle anything near. Bow to your lord when you answer. If any one better than yourself comes in, retire and give place to him. Turn your back on no man. Be silent while your lord drinks, not laughing, whispering, or joking. If he tells you to sit down, do so at once. Then don’t talk dirt, or scorn any one, but be meek and cheerful. If your better praises you, rise up and thank him heartily. When your lord or lady is speaking about the household, don’t you interfere, but be always ready to serve at the proper time, to bring drink, hold lights, or anything else, and so get a good name. The best prayer you can make to God is to be well mannered. If your lord offers you his cup, rise up, take it with both hands, offer it to no one else, but give it back to him that brought it. At Noon, when your lord is ready for dinner, some pour water on him, some hold the towel for him till he has finished, and don’t leave till grace is said. Stand by your lord till he tells you to sit, then keep your knife clean and sharp to cut your food. Be silent, and tell no nasty stories. Cut your bread, don’t break it. Lay a clean trencher before you, and eat your broth with a spoon, don’t sup it up. Don’t leave your spoon in your dish. Don’t lean on the table, or dirty the cloth. Don’t hang your head over your dish, or eat with a full mouth, or pick your nose, teeth, and nails, or stuff your mouth so that you can’t speak. Wipe your mouth when you drink, and don’t dirty the cup with your hands. Don’t dip your meat in the salt-cellar, or put your knife in your mouth. Taste every dish that’s brought to you, and when once your plate is taken away, don’t ask for it again. If strangers dine with you, share all good food sent to you with them. It’s not polite to keep it all to yourself. Don’t cut your meat like field labourers, who have such an appetite they don’t care how they hack their food. Sweet children, let your delight be courtesy, and eschew rudeness. Have a clean trencher and knife for your cheese, and eat properly. Don’t chatter either, and you shall get a good repute for gentleness. When the meal is over, clean your knives, and put them in their places; keep your seats till you’ve washed; then rise up without laughing or joking, and go to your lord’s table. Stand there till grace is said. Then some of you go for water, some hold the towel, some pour water over his hands. Other things I shall not put in this little Report, but skip over, praying that no one will abuse me for this work. Let readers add or take away: I address it to every one who likes to correct it. Sweet children, I beseech you know this book, and may God make you so expert therein that you may attain endless bliss.

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Lerne or be Lewde: Sidenotes

Don’t be too loving or angry, bold or busy, courteous or cruel or cowardly, and don’t drink too often, or be too lofty or anxious, but friendly of cheer. Hate jealousy, be not too hasty or daring; joke not too oft; ware knaves’ tricks. Don’t be too grudging or too liberal, too meddling, too particular, new-fangled, or too daring. Hate oaths and flattery. Please well thy master. Don’t be too rackety, or go out too much. Don’t be too revengeful or wrathful, and wade not too deep. The middle path is the best for us all.

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Urbanitatis: Sidenotes

When you come before a lord take off your cap or hood, and fall on your right knee twice or thrice. Keep your cap off till you’re told to put it on; hold up your chin; look in the lord’s face; keep hand and foot still; don’t spit or snot; get rid of it quietly; behave well. When you go into the hall, don’t press up too high. Don’t be shamefaced. Wherever you go, good manners make the man. Reverence your betters, but treat all equally whom you don’t know. See that your hands are clean, and your knife sharp. Let worthier men help themselves before you eat. Don’t clutch at the best bit. Keep your hands from dirtying the cloth, and don’t wipe your nose on it, or dip too deep in your cup. Have no meat in your mouth when you drink or speak; and stop talking when your neighbour is drinking. Scorn and reprove no man. Keep your fingers from what would bring you to grief. Among ladies, look, don’t talk. Don’t laugh loud, or riot with ribalds. Don’t repeat what you hear. Words make or mar you. If you follow a worthier man, let your right shoulder follow his back, and don’t speak till he has done. Be austere (?) in speech; don’t stop any man’s tale. Christ gives us all wit to know this, and heaven as our reward. Amen!

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The Lytylle Childrenes Lytil Boke or Edyllys be: Sidenotes

Clerks say that courtesy came from heaven when Gabriel greeted our Lady. All virtues are included in it. See that your hands and nails are clean. Don’t eat till grace is said, or sit down till you’re told. First, think on the poor; the full belly wots not what the hungry feels. Don’t eat too quickly. Touch nothing till you are fully helped. Don’t break your bread in two, or put your pieces in your pocket, your fingers in the dish, or your meat in the salt-cellar. Don’t pick your ears or nose, or drink with your mouth full, or cram it full. Don’t pick your teeth with your knife. Take your spoon out when you’ve finished soup. Don’t spit over or on the table, that’s not proper. Don’t put your elbows on the table, or belch as if you had a bean in your throat. Be careful of good food; and be courteous and cheerful. Don’t whisper in any man’s ear. Take your food with your fingers, and don’t waste it. Don’t grin, or talk too much, or spill your food. Keep your cloth before you. Cut your meat, don’t bite it. Don’t open your mouth too wide when you eat, or blow in your food. If your lord drinks, always wait till he has done. Keep your trencher clean. Drink behind no man’s back. Don’t rush at the cheese, or throw your bones on the floor. Sit still till grace is said and you’ve washed your hands, and don’t spit in the basin. Rise quietly, don’t jabber, but thank your host and all the company, and then men will say, ‘A gentleman was here!’ He who despises this teaching isn’t fit to sit at a good man’s table. Children, love this little book, and pray that Jesus may help its author to die among his friends, and not be troubled with devils, but be in joy for ever. Amen!

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The Young Children’s Book: Sidenotes

Whoever will thrive, must be courteous, and begin in his youth. Courtesy came from heaven, and contains all virtues, as rudeness does all vices. Get up betimes; cross yourself; wash your hands and face; comb your hair; say your prayers; go to church and hear Mass. Say ‘Good Morning’ to every one you meet. Then have breakfast, first crossing your mouth. Say grace, thank Jesus for your food, and say an Ave for the souls in pain. Then set to work, and don’t be idle. Scripture tells you, if you work, you must eat what you get with your hands. Be true in word and deed; truth keeps a man from blame. Mercy and Truth are the two ways to heaven, fail not to go by them. Make only proper promises, and keep them without falsehood. Love God and your neighbours, and so fulfil all the Law. Meddle only with what belongs to you. Scorn not the poor; flatter no one; oppress (?) not servants. Be meek, and wait till your better has spoken. When you speak to a man, keep still, and look him in the face. Don’t be a tale-bearer. Thank all who speak well of you. Use few words; don’t swear or lie in your dealings. Earn money honestly, and keep out of debt. Try to please; seek peace; mind whom you speak to and what you say. Wherever you enter, say “God be here;” and speak courteously to master and man. Stand till you are told to sit at meat, and don’t leave your seat before others. Sit upright; be sociable, and share with your neighbours. Take salt with a clean knife; talk no scandal, but speak well of all. Hear and see; don’t talk. Be satisfied with what’s set before you. Wipe your mouth before you drink; keep your fingers and lips clean. Don’t speak with your mouth full. Praise your food for whether it’s good or bad, it must be taken in good part. Mind where you spit, and put your hand before your mouth. Keep your knife clean, and don’t wipe it on the cloth. Don’t put your spoon in the dish, or make a noise, like boys, when you sup. Don’t put meat off your plate into the dish, but into a voider. If your superior hands you a cup, drink, but take the cup with two hands. When he speaks to you, doff your cap and bend your knee. Don’t scratch yourself at table, wipe your nose, or play with your spoon, &c. This book is for young children who don’t stay long at school. God grant them grace to be virtuous!

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Stans Puer ad Mensam (both versions): Sidenotes

When you stand before your sovereign, speak not recklessly, and keep your hands still. Don’t stare about, lean against a post, look at the wall, pick your nose, or scratch yourself. When spoken to, don’t lumpishly look at the ground. Walk demurely in the streets, and don’t laugh before your lord. Clean your nails and wash your hands. Sit where you’re told to, and don’t be too hasty to begin eating. Don’t grin, shout, or stuff your jaws with food, or drink too quickly. Keep your lips clean, and wipe your spoon. Don’t make sops of bread, or drink with a dirty mouth. Don’t dirty the table linen, or pick your teeth with your knife. Don’t swear or talk ribaldry, or take the best bits; share with your fellows. Eat up your pieces, and keep your nails clean. It’s bad manners to bring up old complaints. Don’t play with your knife, or shuffle your feet about. Don’t spill your broth on your chest, or use dirty knives, or fill your spoon too full. Be quick to do whatever your lord orders. Take salt with your knife; don’t blow in your cup, or begin quarrels. Interrupt no man in his story. Drink wine and ale in moderation. Don’t talk too much, but keep a middle course. Be gentle and tractable, but not too soft. Children must not be revengeful; their anger is appeased with a bit of apple. Children’s quarrels are first play, then crying; don’t believe their complaints; give ’em the rod. Spare that, and you’ll spoil all. Young children, pray take heed to my little ballad, which shall lead you into all virtues. My mistakes I submit to correction.

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Ffor to serve a lord: Sidenotes

1. Have your table-cloths and napkins ready, also trenchers, salts, &c. 2. Bring your cloths folded, lay them on the table, then cover the cupboard, the side-table, and the chief table. 3. Bring out the chief salt-cellar, and pared loaves, and hold the carving-knives in your right hand. 4. Put your chief salt-cellar before the chief person’s seat, his bread by it, and his trenchers before it. 5. Put the second salt-cellar at the lower end. If wooden trenchers are used, bring them on. 6. Put salt-cellars on the side-tables. 7. Bring out your basins, &c., and set all your plate on the cupboard. 8. Let the chief servants have basins, &c., ready, and after Grace, hold the best basin to the chief lord, with the towel under; and then let his messmates wash. 9. The chief lord takes his seat, then his messmates theirs; then the lower-mess people theirs. (When Grace begins, the bread cover is to be taken away.) 10. The Carver takes 4 trenchers on his knife-point, and lays them before the chief lord, (one to put his salt on,) and 3 or 2 before the less people. 11. The Butler gives each man a spoon and a napkin. 12. The Carver pares 2 loaves, lays 2 before his lord, and 2 or 1 to the rest. 13. Serve brawn, beef, swan, pheasant, fritters. As a change for beef, have legs or chines of pork, or tongue of ox or hart. 14. Clear away the 1st course, crumbs, bones, and used trenchers. 15. Serve the Second Course: Small birds, lamb, kid, venison, rabbits, meat pie, teal, woodcock. Great birds. 16. Fill men’s cups and remove their trenchers. 17. Collect the spoons. 18. Take up the lowest dishes at the side-tables, and then clear the high table. 19. Sweep all the bits of bread, trenchers, &c., into a voyder. 20. Take away the cups, &c., from all the messes, putting the trenchers, &c., in a voyder, and scraping the crumbs off with a carving-knife. 21. Serve wafers in towels laid on the table, and sweet wine. In holiday time serve cheese, or fruit; in winter, roast apples. 22. Clear away all except the chief salt-cellar, whole bread, and carving-knives; take these to the pantry. 23. Lay a fresh cloth all along the chief table. 24. Have ready basons and jugs with hot or cold water; and after Grace, hand basins and water to the first mess, then the second. 25. Take off and fold up the towels and cloth, and give ’em to the Panter. 26. Clear away tables, trestles, forms; and put cushions on other seats. 27. Butler, put the cups, &c., back into your office. 28. Serve knights and ladies with bread and wine, kneeling. 29. Conduct strangers to the Chamber. 30. Serve them with dainties: junket, pippins, or green ginger; and sweet wines. How to carve a Swan, Goose, Wild-fowl, Crane, Heronsew, Bittern, Egret, Partridge, Quail, Pheasant.

_A Bridal Feast._

_First Course._ Boar’s head, and a Device of Welcome. Venison and Custard, with a Device of Meekness.

_Second Course._ Venison, Crane, &c., and a Device of Gladness and Loyalty.

_Third Course._ Sweets, &c., Game, with a Device of Thankfulness.

_Fourth Course._ Cheese and a cake with a Device of Child-bearing and a promise of babies.

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Latin Graces: Sidenotes

_A general Grace._ The eyes of all wait upon thee, O Lord. Glory be to the Father, &c. Lord, have mercy upon us. Lord, bless us. Make us partakers of the heavenly table.

_Grace after Dinner._ May the God of peace be with us! We thank thee, O Lord, for thy benefits. Lord, have mercy upon us! Christ, have mercy upon us! I will bless the Lord alway. May the name of the Lord be blessed for ever! Hail, Queen of Heaven, flower of virgins! pray thy Son to save the faithful!

_Grace on Fish-Days._ The poor shall eat and be satisfied. Glory be to the Father, &c. The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with us all.

_In Lent._ Break thy bread to the hungry, and take the wanderer to thy home.

_Grace after Dinner._ _Four Short Graces._ 1. _Before Dinner._ 2. _After Meals._ Bless the Lord for this meal. Mary, pray for us! 3. _Before Supper._ Giver of all, sanctify this supper. 4. _After Supper._ The Lord is holy in all his works. Blessed be the name of the Lord.

_On Easter-Eve._ Christ, have mercy upon us! Seek those things that are above.

_Grace after Dinner._ God of Peace, We give thee thanks, O Lord. Pour into us thy Spirit, through Jesus Christ our Lord.

_On Easter-Day._ This is the day which the Lord hath made: Let us rejoice and be glad in it. Bless us, O Lord! Our passover is slain, even Christ.

_After Dinner._ Of thy resurrection, Christ, the heavens and the earth are glad. Thanks be to God!

_Before Supper._ _After Supper._ This is the day, &c. Hallelujah. Let us bless the Lord!

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Symon’s Lesson of Wysedome: Sidenotes

Children, attend. You’d be better unborn than untaught. You mustn’t have your own way always. Tell the truth, don’t be froward, hold up your head, take off your hood when you’re spoken to. Wash your hands and face. Be courteous. Don’t throw stones at dogs and hogs. Mock at no one. Don’t swear. Eat what’s given you, and don’t ask for this and that. Honour your father and mother: kneel and ask their blessing. Keep your clothes clean. Don’t go bird’s-nesting, or steal fruit, or throw stones at men’s windows, or play in church. Don’t chatter. Get home by daylight. Keep clear of fire and water, and the edges of wells and brooks. Take care of your book, cap, and gloves, or you’ll be birched on your bare bottom. Don’t be a liar or thief, or make faces at any man. When you meet any one, lower your hood and wish ’em “god speed.” Be meek to clerks. Rise early, go to school, and learn fast if you want to be our bishop. Attend to all these things, for a good child needs learning, and he who hates the child spares the rod. As a spur makes a horse go, so a rod makes a child learn and be mild. So, children, do well, and you’ll not get a sound beating. May God keep you good!

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The Birched School-Boy: Sidenotes

Learning is strange work; the birch twigs are so sharp. I’d sooner go 20 miles than go to school on Mondays. My master asks where I’ve been. ‘Milking ducks,’ I tell him, and he gives me pepper for it. I only wish he was a hare, and my book a wild cat, and all his books dogs. Wouldn’t I blow my horn! Don’t I wish he was dead!

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