Part 19

"That's my business, Admiral."

The Admiral stopped short. He was on the point of bringing out his own favourite retort: "Mind your own business," and here was this fellow taking the very words out of his mouth. He went out of the room without a word.

Several times after that the Admiral launched his attacks at the new clerk, but invariably got as good as he gave. More than that, Doffen would even take the offensive himself.

"What do you think you're doing with these two hulks of yours, Admiral, eh?"

"Hulks?"

"Yes, these two old wooden arks. The skippers go floundering about like hunted cockroaches at sea, and the ships themselves go pottering from pillar to post; it's high time you got some system into the business."

"You mind your own business, please," said the Admiral, rapping on the desk. But at that the other let himself go in his barbarous dialect, like a gramophone:

"It is my business, and as long as I'm stuck here on this spindle-shanked contrivance of a stool I'll say what I think. Take me for a dumb beast, do you? Not me! It'll take more than you know to stop me talking. We're used to rough weather where I come from."

And Doffen went on in the same strain long after the Admiral had got out of the room. The Admiral himself, however, listened with delight from the other side of the door, as Doffen thumped his desk again and again, still in the full torrent of speech. It was worth while going to the office now. No more sitting glowering at a servile, stooping-shouldered little scrap of a man, who scribbled away for dear life and shrank in terror every time he entered. Now he would generally find the room in a thick haze of tobacco smoke so that he himself could scarcely breathe. Doffen's pipe was rarely out of his mouth. Several times the Admiral had invited him, in well-chosen words, to take his beastly pipe to a hotter place, but only to be met with the retort that it might be as well, seeing there was never a box of matches here when a man wanted a light. The Admiral came more and more often to the office now. Here at least he could be sure of getting a fair go at any time, for Doffen was always open for a game.

After a while a tone of jovial roughness grew up between the two of them, and authority was relegated to the background, exactly as Doffen wished.

Altogether there was every prospect of an idyllic understanding between the two parties, until one day Doffen fell in love, over head and ears in love beyond recall.

The Princess had captivated him completely. If she chanced to come into the office for a stamp, or to deliver a letter, his heart would start hammering like a riveting machine.

His brain was so confused he hardly knew what he was doing. He would lie awake at nights in a torment of hatred against the Endresen and Karsten boys, who were rivals for her favour. And, after all, who was better fitted than he? Had he not got the Admiral's papers into proper order? Had he not managed to knock the old porpoise himself into shape, till he was grown docile and tractable as a tame rabbit?

The Princess smiled on Doffen as she smiled on everyone, and each of course fancied himself specially favoured. Even old Consul Endresen brightened up at the sight of her, and was always ready to stop for a chat; he would draw himself up and endeavour to play the gallant cavalier. He had been a widower now for many years, and it was commonly believed that he was not unwilling to enter once more into the bonds of holy matrimony, should a favourable opportunity occur.

The Admiral growled fiercely whenever Baby was out, and Missa wept and wrung her hands over the young ladies of the present day--particularly in this barbarous country.

Paying attentions? It was one continual paying of attentions all day long. The young men of the place were sick with longing when she was not to be seen, and Doffen suffered most, having occasion to see her every day. To make matters worse, she had taken to coming into the office more frequently of late, and would perch herself up on her father's high stool. There she would sit and gossip with him for half an hour at a time. Six times a week at least Doffen was in the seventh heaven of delight. She asked him questions about everything under the sun, consulting him on every imaginable subject. And then she would thank him with one of those wonderful smiles, and a look from those dark eyes of hers--oh, it was beyond all bearing.

Doffen pondered long and deep, seeking some way of coming to the point.

He must not let the others get there before him, and he decided on a _coup de main_, which, as he had read in the life of Napoleon, was the proper way to win a battle. He would go directly to the Admiral himself.

One morning, then, the Admiral came into the office, looked long and attentively at Doffen, and finally said:

"What's the matter with you, man? You're getting to look like a plucked goose, for all the sign of life in you!" And he jumped up on his stool.

"It's a dog's life being a man," declared Doffen sententiously.

"You find it easier, no doubt, to be a monkey," said the Admiral.

"Well, anyway, I'd be a sort of relative of yours," said Doffen. "And it's as well to be on good terms with the devil, they say."

The Admiral laughed. This was a bad sign.

Ugh! So Doffen was going to be funny, and make jokes. That sort of polite conversation was a thing the Admiral detested; it was blank tomfoolery; soup without salt.

No; what he enjoyed was proper high temper on both sides like a couple of flints striking sparks. Anything short of that made life a washy, milk-and-watery dreariness. And most people, according to his opinion, were just a set of slack-kneed molly-coddles that sheered off at the first encounter. Devil take their measly souls! When he did happen to meet with a fellow-citizen who could get into a proper towering passion, he felt like falling on his neck out of sheer gratitude and admiration. Here, at last, was a _man_! Women he placed in a separate category: they were "fellow-creatures," just as rabbits, for instance, whose chief business in life was to have young ones.

Doffen, then, ought to have realised that the moment was not opportune for a _coup de main_. He had, however, only the day before, seen the Princess out for a long walk with young Endresen, and he felt he must act promptly, so he went on:

"You could make a happy man of me, Admiral!"

"You're happy enough as it is, man."

"No, not quite. There's one thing wanting."

"And what's that?"

"Your daughter----"

"Hey? Are you off your head?"

"Your daughter," repeated Doffen. "I'd be a good husband to her, and a proper son-in-law to you."

"I'll give you son-in-law!" roared the Admiral, and, picking up the big Directory, he sent it full at Doffen's chest; the latter, taken by surprise, came tumbling down from his stool, and fell against the wood-box in the corner.

"You miserable nincompoop!" snorted the Admiral, as he rushed out of the room.

Doffen lay in the corner by the wood-box, groaning pitifully. The noise had been heard all over the house, and the Princess came rushing in to see what was the matter.

"Are you ill, Eriksen?" she asked, taking his hand.

"Oh, I think I must be dying," he said, touching his chest.

"No, no," said she. "It's not so bad as all that."

"And if so, I shall have died for you."

"Let me help you up on the sofa, now, and I'll fetch you a glass of water."

With her support he limped across to the sofa.

"Better now?" she asked, handing him the glass of water.

"Oh, I'm so fond of you," said he, and tried to take her hand.

"Oh, do stop that nonsense!" said she, with a laugh.

"Stop? How can I stop when I love you as deeply as ... as ..." he paused, unable to find a sufficiently powerful expression, then suddenly the inspiration came, and, raising himself on his elbow, he went on--"as deeply as is possible _in this line of business_!"

"Oh no, really; you can talk about this another time, you know. Come along now, Eriksen, pull yourself together and be a man."

"Then it's not a final refusal--not a harsh and cruel 'no' such as your father flung at me just now--with that heavy book? Say it's not that!"

But she was gone.

Doffen lay back on the sofa once more, closed his eyes, and thought of her. At last he fell asleep, and lay there, never noticing when the Admiral peeped in through the door, "to see if the carcass was still alive." The sound of Doffen's snoring, however, reassured him, and he went away again, contented and relieved.

The Princess sat in her room, highly amused with the thought of her latest admirer. What a funny creature he was! She rather liked him really, for all that; he was always so willing and kind, and if one's ardent worshippers themselves agree to be reduced to the status of "just friends," why, it may be very handy at times to have them in reserve. No, she would not quarrel with Eriksen, because of this, not at all.

But, to tell the truth, it was getting quite a nuisance with all these admirers. Everyone of them was always wanting to meet her and go for a walk with her, and talk of love! Oh, she was so utterly weary of them all. These simpletons who imagined she was going to settle down and stay in this little place all her life!

Heavens alive, what an existence! No, thank you, not if she knew it!

It was annoying, in this frame of mind, to recollect that she promised Endresen junior to meet him at twelve o'clock by the big pond in the park. Still, a promise was a promise; she would have to go.

And lo, he came up with a huge bouquet of pale yellow roses, her favourite flower, as he knew, tied round with a piece of thin red ribbon.

"When the roses are faded, you can take the ribbon and bind me with it," he said.

"When the roses have faded? Oh, but that won't be for a long time yet--thank goodness." And she laughed.

"Well, so much the better; you can tie me up at once."

"But suppose I don't want to?"

"Then I'll die, Baby. Go off and shoot myself, or drown myself."

"Drown yourself? Oh, do it now. I'll bet anything you wouldn't dare."

"I assure you I mean it," he said, placing one hand on his heart.

"Well, now, let me see what sort of a man you are, Endresen. Walk round the edge of the pond here five times----"

"And what then?"

"Then--oh, then you shall have----"

"Yes?"

"--My sincere admiration, let us say. That'll do to go on with." And she smiled mischievously.

He jumped up on to the narrow stone edging of the pond and began balancing his way carefully along, the Princess walking by his side, counting the rounds. One--two--three--four times round. "One more, and you've done it," she said encouragingly.

"And then I've won your hand, haven't I?" he cried.

"Once more round, and--we'll think about it. Now, last lap!"

He stepped cautiously along, and was nearing the end of the fifth round, when all of a sudden she jumped up and gave him a push that sent him into the water up to his waist.

"No, that's not fair, Baby. I won."

She danced up and down, clapping her hands and laughing delightedly.

"Adieu, Endresen! my sincere admiration. It was splendid! But I don't think I'll walk home with you now, or people might think you'd been drowning yourself for my sake." And she ran off. Coming through the town she encountered old Consul Endresen, who stopped, as usual, to talk to her.

"You're looking younger than ever, Consul," said the Princess.

"Am I, though? Oh, you know how to get at an old man's heart, little sunbeam that you are! Looking younger than ever, eh--and I'm sixty-seven to-day," which, by the way, was three years less than the truth.

"To-day? Oh, then I must wish you many happy returns--and here, let me give you these flowers."

He stopped in surprise.

"But, my dearest child, you don't mean it, surely? These flowers, these charming roses, they were for somebody else now, I'm sure."

"Not a bit of it--they're for you."

"Why, then, since you are pleased to command, I bow--and many thanks." And, bowing deeply, he took her hand and kissed it.

The Princess hurried homeward, laughing at the face of young Endresen when his father appeared with the flowers.

While all this was going on, Karsten junior was sitting deep in thought as to whether he ought not to propose to the Princess himself. He had sounded his father on the subject, and the latter had made no positive objection to the match. True, it was not altogether _comme il faut_, but still, it might be passed over--though he certainly considered the old man intolerable.

Karsten junior was not much of a speaker, and determined, therefore, to write instead. But he found this, too, a ticklish business. He had never "operated in that market" before, and was altogether unacquainted with the article known as love. The opening phrase of the contemplated letter was a stumbling-block to begin with. Should he write "Miss," or "Miss Baby," or "Dear Miss Baby"--or even straight out, "Dear Baby"--but no, he must do the thing correctly in due form. The house of Karsten was an old-established firm, and he must make this evident.

He decided at last for "Miss" simply.

"Referring to our conversation of 7th inst., I hereby beg to inform you..." etc.

He wrote on his sister's ivory paper, put the letter neatly in an envelope, and sent it off.

The Princess laughed when she got the letter. She read it aloud to herself, and exclaimed with conviction: "What a fool!"

Altogether it had been a day of amusing experiences for the Princess, but there was more to come. Yet another letter arrived, that filled her with unbounded astonishment. It ran as follows:

"MY DEAR LITTLE FRIEND,--Do not be startled at receiving these lines from an old man. George Sand was once asked when a woman ceased to love, and she answered, Never. But if I were asked now, when a man ceases to love, I should answer, for my own part, I no longer love, I only admire and worship. You will, I am sure, have realised, little friend, that it is you I worship, your talents, your beauty, your goodness of heart and brilliant spirit. What can I offer you? A faithful protector, a good home, in peace and harmony.

"Think this over now, think well and wisely, and keep what I have said a secret between ourselves. Whatever you may do, whichever way your life may turn, your happiness will be my greatest wish.--Affectionately yours,

"C. ENDRESEN, SEN."

This time she did not laugh, but took a match and burned the letter in the stove.

"This must be the end," she murmured to herself. "I won't stay here any longer with all these ridiculous men." She thought and pondered for several days until the Admiral came in one day and said he was going away for a week or so on business. In a moment her plan was made. She said nothing to him of what was in her mind; he would never have understood, and it would have made no end of trouble all round.

But she would take Missa into her confidence. Missa had been a mother to her from the moment she realised she was living in this world; she would tell her all.

"Missa," she said, throwing her arms round her neck, "I can't stand this any longer."

"There, there now; what is it, child?"

"I can't bear to live in this dreadful place. I must get away somehow."

"Oh dear, dear! it's just what I think. A dreadful place."

"Yes, there you are. And we'll go away, Missa, you and I, out into the beautiful wide world."

"But for Heaven's sake, what about your father?"

"Father mustn't know about it. We'll just go off by ourselves--run away, Missa dear."

"Run away! God bless me no, child! The Admiral...."

The Princess begged and prayed, using all her powers of persuasion and caresses, until Missa was gradually stripped of all arguments to the contrary, and finally rose to her feet.

"But, Baby dear, how shall we make our living?"

But at that the Princess jumped up and began dancing wildly around.

"Missa, I'll dance--dance for all the world; make them wild with delight, till they throw themselves at my feet. Missa, don't you understand, can't you imagine ... oh, Missa, if you only knew.... But you shall see, you shall see for yourself...."

She sank down on the sofa, sobbing violently.

Next day the Princess went down to the office.

Doffen was now completely himself again after the Admiral's very effective "refusal."

He beamed like the sun when the Princess came in, made her a deep bow and said: "At your service, Miss--at your service, he, he!"

"Ah, so you're still alive, Eriksen?"

"Alive! The sight of you would have wakened me from the dead!"

"Eriksen, will you do me a favour?"

"Will I? Anything, Miss, anything a man can do."

"I want a thousand pounds."

Eriksen slid down from his stool.

"_A thousand--pounds!_ Heaven preserve us! A thousand! I haven't more than seven-and-six on me.

"But father has."

"The Admiral! Yes, of course, he has; and more. But that's not mine. Da--" he checked himself, recollecting it was not the Admiral to whom he was speaking--"dear me, you wouldn't have me steal his money?"

"Oh, all you need do is to let me have the key."

"No, no, my dear young lady, no. It would never do.

"But it's only drawing a little in advance--on my inheritance, Eriksen, you know. That's all it is."

He stood reflecting quite a while.

"But--what on earth do you want all that money for?"

She took his hand, and he trembled with emotion.

"Eriksen, you're my friend, aren't you?"

"Heaven knows I am, Miss."

"Well, I'm going out into the wide world--to dance."

"But, heavens alive--that makes it worse than ever! The Admiral, he surely isn't going off dancing as well?"

"No; Missa's coming with me. We leave to-morrow, for Paris, Eriksen--London--New York--oh, ever so far!"

"But--but then, I shall never see you again."

"Indeed you shall, Eriksen; I'll send you tickets, a whole box all to yourself, for my performance in Paris. Just fancy, a box at the theatre all to yourself. And you must pay me a thousand pounds for it now."

"But the Admiral--the Admiral! I might just as well give myself up and go to jail."

"Don't talk nonsense, Eriksen! Are you my friend or are you not?"

The Princess got her thousand. And Eriksen duly entered in his cash book:

"By cash advanced to Miss Baby on account, as per receipt number 325, L1000."

And the Princess on her part solemnly signed for the money:

"Received cash in advance on account of expected inheritance, L1000--one thousand pounds."

Doffen spent the evening helping Missa and the Princess with their packing.

She promised to write and let him know how she got on, and gave him a photo of herself at parting, with the inscription: "To my true friend Doffen, from Baby."

Doffen kept it near his heart.

Missa gave him her photo too, but that he quietly put away in a back pocket.

Next morning he went down to the quay to see them off. The Princess stood at the stern of the ship, and waved to him. He was proud to think that he was the only one she waved to, he was the one to receive her farewell smile. And so the Princess set out into the wide world.

* * * * *

When the Admiral returned he found the following letter awaiting him:

"DEAR FATHER,--Missa and I have decided to go for a little trip to Paris, possibly also London, New York, San Francisco, etc. We couldn't stand it any longer, living in that old town of yours.

"I have drawn L1000 from Eriksen; I hope you won't mind. I don't think we could really manage with less.

"And, please, don't be nastier than usual to Eriksen about it. I made him do it.

"So long, then, for the present, and take care of yourself. You shall hear from us when we get there.--Your own

"BABY."

The Admiral grunted, got up and walked twice up and down the room; then, muttering to himself, "All right," he put the letter in the stove.

When the Admiral came down to the office, Doffen was inclined to be somewhat shaky about the knees. He pulled himself together, however, and, bearing in mind the example of Napoleon, took the offensive at once.

"Your daughter's gone away, Admiral!"

"Oh, go to----"

"Thanks. I don't think I will. I'm very comfortable where I am."

"You're a fool."

"There's bigger fools about."

"Why didn't you give her two thousand?"

"She'd have had five thousand."

"You've no idea what it costs to go travelling about. A miserable stay-at-home like you."

At this Doffen grew angry in earnest, and slammed down the lid of his desk, making the ink-stands fairly dance.

"Well, of all the.... First of all I do my very utmost to save you from being ruined by your illegitimate offspring, then I manage to get her away in a decent, respectable manner--you ought to be thoroughly ashamed of yourself, if you ask me."

The Admiral looked round as if in search of something.

"What the devil have you done with that Directory?" he said at last.

"Oho! Perhaps you'd like to be had up for another attempted manslaughter, what?"

"Not a bit of it. But there's a reward for extermination of rats and other mischievous beasts."

Here the discussion was interrupted by the entrance of Ferryman Arne, who just looked in to ask if the Admiral hadn't an old pair of breeches to give away, as the seat was all out of the ones he was wearing. The Admiral never refused. He went to a wardrobe, routed out an old pair and gave them to Arne. The latter examined them carefully, front and back, but instead of saying thank you, he rudely declared that if the Admiral wanted to give a poor man something to wear, he might at least give him something that wasn't falling to bits already.

This led to a most satisfactory battle-royal between Arne and the Admiral, each trying to outdo the other in lurid pigeon-English--a tongue which both of them spoke fluently, Arne having been twelve years in the China Seas.

And in the end the Admiral presented Arne with two brand-new pairs of trousers and a pound in cash.

* * * * *

The years passed by. Doffen stayed on in the office, and became indispensable as time went on. He and the Admiral made a pair. And whenever the conversation languished towards the milk-and-watery, Ferryman Arne would come and lend a hand.

The Princess roamed far and wide about the world. She sent home newspapers, wherein they read that she was performing at this or that great city, with thousands of admirers at her tiny feet.

The Admiral read it all without the slightest token of surprise, his only comment being: "All right, that's her business." But when one day he received a card bearing the inscription, "Countess Montfalca," surmounted by a coronet, he spat, and remarked to Doffen:

"Well, after all, there's nothing surprising in that, seeing her mother was a queen."

XXI

DIRRIK

The first time I met him was in 1867, on board the schooner _Jenny_ of Svelvik. The skipper was an uncle of mine, and had taken me along as odd boy for a summer cruise. And Ole Didriksen, or Dirrik, as we called him, was first hand on board.

We had taken in a cargo of pit props at Drammen, and came down the fjord with a light northerly breeze. A little way out the wind dropped altogether and the _Jenny_ lay drifting idly under a blazing sun.

Dirrik sounded the well, and declared that "the old swine was leaking like a sieve."--"Nonsense!" said the skipper. "Why, it's not more than three years since her last overhaul."--"Maybe," said Dirrik, "but she's powerful old."--"Old she may be--built in '32--and I won't say but she's a trifle groggy about the ribs; still, she's good for this bit of a run. And summer weather and all."

Dirrik tried again. "Twenty-two inches," he said, and looked inquiringly at the skipper. "Well, then, you two men get the boat and go ashore for a few sacks of caulking. There's plenty of ant-heaps up in the wood there."