Part 15
Saw the distribution of prizes,--first prize given to an Irish baby with a stub nose; second, to a Dutch ditto, with eyes of different colors; and all the rest to the very babies who ought not to have had any, but deserved to be spanked and sent to bed until they should grow decent looking.
Not a good-looking baby got a prize, and the very ones who should have taken the premiums were sent home without having their expenses paid.
The $100 prize baby did not amount to much after all. Not a young couple who saw it but thought they could do better in less than a year; and the mothers of those babies who didn't get anything thought they could beat it on six months' notice.
Those industrious ladies who desired to rear a large family in the shortest time possible, and so had produced three or four children at a birth, were all rewarded by the Great Showman for their extra pains and labors, and all went home triumphant with a premium for fecundity, and money enough to buy flannel for all the brood.
Everybody said the baby show was a humbug--but everybody went to see it. Everybody said it was disgusting, but everybody paid his twenty-five cents to be disgusted, and everybody _was_ disgusted to his heart's content.
No one was perfectly satisfied except the mothers of the lucky babies, and the proprietor of the entire concern, who made a small fortune by the operation.
The excitement is now over, the public have seen the sight, the press has had its say, the women have shown their babies, Damphool has gone back to the country, and the world is once more comparatively quiet.
No other so great excitement will agitate the world until next year, when the Great Showman intends to revive the subject, and show the world the modus operandi of baby birth, with illustrations by the mothers of the babies who took the prizes this year, and who in another twelve-month will probably have no shame at all in the matter, and will stick at nothing. Let us wait, and hope.
* * * * *
JUST PUBLISHED,
PLU-RI-BUS-TAH:
A SONG THAT'S BY NO AUTHOR.
BY
Q. K. Philander Doesticks, P.B.
This Book contains an unlimited quantity of hits at every body, of which every one must good-naturedly take his share, to pay for the privilege of laughing at his neighbors.
EMBELLISHED WITH ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY-FOUR ILLUSTRATIONS, BY JOHN MCLENAN.
As a History of the Country, this book is invaluable, inasmuch as it notices a great many events not mentioned by Bancroft, Hildreth, or Prescott. As a Novel, it is unapproachable, for it contains several characters unknown to Cooper, Dickens, Marryatt, or Bulwer. As a Mythological Work, it should be immediately secured, as it makes mention of a number of gods and deified worthies hitherto unknown to old Jupiter himself. As a Poem, its claims to consideration can not be denied, as it comprises a great many beauties not discoverable in "The Song of Hiawatha," besides several Indian names which were therein omitted.
12mo, Muslin, Extra Gilt, price $1 00.
LIVERMORE & RUDD, _Publishers_, 310 BROADWAY, NEW YORK.
* * * * *
A BOOK THAT WILL MAKE ITS MARK!
IN PRESS.
The undersigned have the satisfaction of announcing to the Public and the Trade that they have in Press, and will Publish in April, an original fiction of unusual interest and merit, by an American writer, entitled,
ASPENWOLD.
The claims of this work to a high place in the front rank of our national literature will be admitted by every reader whose critical abilities enable him to appreciate authorial excellence.
It is written in the form of an autobiography, like the works of MARRYATT, and will favorably compare with the best of that popular writer's productions.
It is free from the hackneyed incidents which comprise the principal stock in trade of most of our modern novelists, and is emphatically
A FRESH BOOK
in the ripest sense of that much-abused term.
For its strength and naturalness of description, the reader will be reminded of COOPER; in the flowing style of its narrative, of MARRYAT; in the earnestness of its thought and diction, of CURRER BELL; and in the completeness of its characters, of CHARLES DICKENS.
The power and originality of the work will ensure it a wide sale, and secure a popularity for its author enjoyed by few.
Embellished with a beautiful Frontispiece. 408 Pages, 12mo, Cloth, Price $1 25.
LIVERMORE & RUDD, _Publishers_, 310 BROADWAY, NEW YORK.
* * * * *
WILL BE PUBLISHED IN JUNE,
BY
Q. K. Philander Doesticks, P.B.,
AND
Knight Russ Ockside, M.D.,
LIVERMORE & RUDD, 310 BROADWAY.
* * * * *
DOESTICKS' BOOKS.
12mo, Cloth, per Volume, $1 00.
Among the numerous testimonials from the press in all sections of the country, we select the following, proving that the author's productions will be sought for and read by thousands of admirers.
NOTICES OF THE PRESS.
"A humorist and a satirist of a very high order. His blows are aimed with severe accuracy against a vast number of the follies, frailties, and humbugs of the day."--_Baltimore American, Md._
"He shows up many of the modern popular humbugs in a very strong light, and handles them most unmercifully."--_Dayton (Ohio) Daily Empire._
"Doesticks is a wonder. The same happy spirit seems to pervade the author and the artist--the illustrations of the latter are quite up to anything Cruikshank ever achieved in the same line. If anybody can look at these spiritings of the pencil without a loud laugh, he is certainly out of our list of even grand fellows--but to enter fully into the pleasing features of the work--to laugh over the jokes, to enjoy the home-thrusts of wit and satire, our friends must buy the book itself."--_Sunday Mercury, N. Y._
"Doesticks is one of the few immortal names that were not born to die. Doesticks will always be with us. We have only to step into our library, and behold there is the ubiquitous Doesticks! We take him by the hand--we listen to the thoughts that breathe--the quaint philosophy--the piquant illustration! Doesticks all over--Doesticks in every page--in every line! Do you wish to make the acquaintance of Doesticks? Every body does."--_New York Railway Journal._
"The illustrations are in admirable keeping with the general tone of these 'unprecedented extravagances,' and will help to introduce Doesticks and his companions to a large circle of acquaintances."--_McMakin's Philadelphia Saturday Courier._
"'Doesticks' is irresistibly funny."--_P. T. Barnum's Letter to the N.Y. Tribune._
"Renown has made the euphonious name of 'Doesticks' familiar to the ear of all the reading public throughout the length and breadth of the land. Those who would eschew the blues, and drive dull care away, should read Doesticks--what he says."--_Lansingburg Gazette, N. Y._
"The 'Doesticks' book is before us. Its inimitable fun sticks to us long after we have shut the book--its rollicking humor comes back to us in gusts."--_Boston Chronicle._
"Doesticks is an original genius. His book is just the thing to pick up at odd moments, when time hangs heavy, and the mind seeks to be amused."--_Gazette and Democrat, Reading, Pa._
"The essays of the rich, racy, humorous, and original Doesticks will be read by thousands."--_New Orleans Bee._
"Doesticks' fun is not of the artificial, spasmodic order, it arises from a keen perception of the humorous side of things."--_New York Tribune._
"His blows at humbug are trenchant, and his sympathies are ever with humanity."--_Boston Evening Gazette._
"Doesticks comes to us like a full and sparkling goblet, overflowing with the rich and brilliant sayings of an original mind. If you would drive away the 'Blue Devils,' purchase Doesticks, and every sketch you read will be better than any pill for the indigestion."-- _The Uncle Samuel, Boston._
"What Cruikshanks, Leech, or Gavarni does with the pencil, he accomplishes with the pen."--_The N. Y. Dutchman._
"The author is a humorist and a satirist of a very high order. His blows are aimed with severe accuracy against a vast number of the follies, frailties, and humbugs of the day."--_American and Commercial Advertiser, Baltimore, Md._
LIVERMORE & RUDD, _Publishers_, 310 BROADWAY, NEW YORK.
* * * * *
A NEW DOMESTIC GUIDE FOR EVERY FAMILY!
THE AMERICAN
COTTAGE COOKERY-BOOK;
OR,
HOUSEKEEPING MADE EASY, PLEASANT AND ECONOMICAL
IN ALL ITS DEPARTMENTS
THE RESULT OF MANY YEARS' PRACTICAL EXPERIENCE AND OBSERVATION, AND DESIGNED AS A RELIABLE AID TO THOSE WHO STUDY ECONOMY OF TIME AND MATERIALS.
BY EMILY THORNWELL.
_12mo., Illustrated, cloth back, 45 cts., 12mo., Illustrated, cloth gilt, 75 cts._
NEW YORK: LIVERMORE & RUDD, PUBLISHERS, 310 BROADWAY
* * * * *
"_DON'T CRACK YOUR SIDES._"
WILL APPEAR IN MAY,
GREEN PEAS,
PICKED FROM THE PATCH OF
INVISIBLE GREEN, ESQ.
A quaint title, dear reader, is it not? Yet one that will answer well to introduce to the public in book form a series of graphic delineations which have at irregular intervals enlivened the columns of one of the principal journals of the Queen City. They have attracted much attention not only there, but in all parts of the Union, for their genial humor and sprightliness, the faithfulness with which the writer has sketched the peculiarities of the "characters" with whom he has come in contact during his daily rambles, and also for the excellent moral tone which pervades them throughout. They convey many an earnest lesson in life, even while causing the reader to shake his sides at the ludicrousness of the picture drawn.
His happy manner of hitting off the foibles, holding up to contempt the vices, and enlisting the better feelings in favor of the often undeserved miseries of those in the lower walks of city life, have made "_Invisible_" hosts of friends in all parts of the country; and their number has been largely increased by the frequency with which his shorter sketches have "gone the rounds of the press."
To the lovers of true humor we can recommend this volume.
It will be extensively illustrated with cuts, from designs by McLenan, who is already favorably known to the public, especially in his inimitable illustrations of "_Plu-ri-bus-tah_."
LIVERMORE & RUDD, _Publishers_, 310 BROADWAY, NEW YORK.
* * * * *
DESIRABLE ILLUSTRATED
BOOKS FOR CHILDREN.
BOUND IN BOARDS, RED CLOTH BACKS.
UNCLE THOMAS'S STORIES
FOR GOOD CHILDREN.
Square 16mo, 72 Pages each, put up in Packages of 12, $1 50.
CHARLES'S JOURNEY TO FRANCE, By MRS. BARBAULD. STORIES ABOUT ANIMALS, By UNCLE THOMAS. POETICAL TALES, By MARY HOWITT. STORIES OF THE MONTHS, By MRS. BARBAULD. PHEBE, THE BLACKBERRY GIRL, By UNCLE THOMAS. GRIMALKIN AND LITTLE FIDO, By UNCLE THOMAS.
STORIES FOR CHILDREN,
BY MRS. COLEMAN.
Square 16mo, 64 Pages each, put up in Packages of 12, $1 50.
CHARLES AND EMILY. FAITHFUL WALTER. ORPHAN BOY'S TRIALS. LITTLE DOG TRUSTY, &c., &c. TRUE BENEVOLENCE. THE CARRIER PIGEON. ANNA'S TRIALS. JOHN'S ADVENTURES. WENDELINE AND HER LADY-BUG.
LIVERMORE & RUDD, _Publishers_, 310 BROADWAY, NEW YORK.
* * * * *
_Just Published_,
A NEW AND IMPROVED EDITION OF THE CHEAPEST AND BEST WORK ON ARCHITECTURE.
THE CARPENTER'S ASSISTANT
AND
RURAL ARCHITECT.
_Illustrated with upwards of Two Hundred Copper and Electrotype Plates;_
Embracing the orders of Architecture, Modern and Practical Stair Building, Plans, Elevations, Grounds, etc., etc., of Cottages, Villas, and Farm Buildings, including Church Edifices.
BY WILLIAM BROWN AND LEWIS E. JOY, ARCHITECTS.
_Twenty-first Thousand--Large Quarto, bound in Leather_, $3 50 _Do._ _Do._ _Bound in Morocco, marble edges_, 5 00
OPINIONS OF THE WORK:
[_From the Telegraph._]
This is a book which every carpenter and house builder should own.
Mr. LIVERMORE:
DEAR SIR,--I have deemed the "Carpenters Assistant and Rural Architect," by Messrs. Brown and Joy, published by you, as one of the most valuable guides and books of reference in my library, and take an early opportunity to congratulate you on the appearance of a _new and improved edition_ of the work, which I have just purchased.
The Lithographic Plates, comprising designs for church edifices, adds in my opinion a striking feature to the book, and I have no hesitation in averring that it will be sought for by every Architect, Builder, and Carpenter in our country, who wishes to possess the most concise and practical treatise published.
Respectfully yours, SAMUEL PHILLIPS, Architect and Builder, Boston.
_From Practical Carpenters and Architects._
We, the undersigned citizens of Worcester, Mass., practical carpenters, are personally acquainted with William Brown, Esq., Architect, and author of a work, entitled the "_Carpenter's Assistant and Rural Architect_." We have examined that work with attention, and commend it to all who are interested in the study or practice of the art, as a valuable treatise on architecture, and it is eminently practical in its character. We cheerfully recommend it to the patronage of carpenters and the public.
EDWARD LAMB, FREEMAN UPHAM, P. W. TAFT, J. S. WOODWORTH, M. H. MORSE, S. D. HARDING, W. R. BIGELOW, HORATIO N. TOWER.
I have carefully examined the "Carpenter's Assistant and Rural Architect," and believe it to be a work well adapted to meet the wants of the practical workman, being practical in its character, and valuable for the perspicuity of its arrangement, clearness of its designs, and brevity of its explanations.
I would most cheerfully recommend it to the patronage of carpenters and students.
ELBRIDGE BOYDEN, Architect.
Mr. BROWN:
SIR,--I have examined your work on architecture, and feeling confident of its utility, from its extreme simplicity and singular adaptedness to meet the wants of the carpenters, I do cheerfully recommend it to the condition of every carpenter, especially the apprentice, who will find all the rudiments of architecture necessary, as well as designs for practice.
A. L. BROOKS.
LIVERMORE & RUDD, _Publishers_, 310 Broadway, New York.
* * * * *
Transcribers Note: The oe ligature is indicated by [oe]. Spelling and grammar have been retained as in the original publication.