did. I never saw such a passionate fondness for the sea as you betray

in every look and word.’

‘Yes,’ she said; ‘I have always loved the sea with a feeling that I have been unable to express, as if there were indeed a human heart in all that wide ocean. When I am--when you have been away longer than usual, and I feel lonely, I come here, and sit for hours watching the waves roll slowly in, and thinking.’

“And here her voice trembled a little, and I knew that the thoughts of which she spoke were gloomy ones. Thus it was with us ever. For a moment she seemed a companion, a kindred spirit; but in the next we were back again in the old wearisome channel, and I felt myself stifled by the atmosphere of B.

“Her utter want of education made a gulf between us which even love could not span. The fact that she was intelligent, appreciative, was not sufficient to render companionship possible between us. Those regions which for me were densely peopled with bright and wondrous images were for her blank and empty as the desert plains of Central Africa. Pretty poetical fancies--the wild flowers of the intellectual world--took quick root in her shallow mind; but the basis for deep thoughts was wanting. I grew weary of conversation in which my part was almost a monologue, weary of long _tête-à-têtes_ which left me no richer by one wise thought or amusing paradox. Day by day I fell back more completely upon my books for company. The poor child perceived this with evident distress. One day she asked me, with tones and looks most piteous, why I no longer talked to her, as I had once talked, about the books I was reading, the subjects that I had chosen for future poetic treatment. I told her frankly that it was tiresome to me to talk to her of things with which she had evidently no sympathy.

‘Indeed,’ she cried, ‘you are mistaken. I sympathize with all your thoughts. I can picture to myself all your fancies. The worlds which you tell me of, and the people--the strange, wild worship of those strange people--I can fancy them and see them. They are a little dim and shadowy to me; but I _do_ see them. And I so dearly love to hear you talk. I cannot discuss these things with you as a clever person would, and I cannot tell you half I think and feel about them; but to sit by you as you read or write, to watch you till you grow tired of your books, and look up and talk to me, is perfect happiness for me--my only happiness now.’

“Here her voice grew tremulous, and she broke down in the usual hopeless manner.

‘If you would only teach me to understand the things that interest you, if you would let me read your books, I should be a fitter companion for you,’ she said, presently.

“I groaned aloud at the hopelessness of this idea. I was to teach this poor child to be my second self, to train her into sympathy--to grow my own Cynthia! I envied Shelley his happier fate, and that bright spirit which

‘Walked as free as light the clouds among.’

But Shelley had made his mistake, and had drained the bitter cup of disappointment before he found his fair ideal.

“I know there are men who have educated their wives, but I never could understand this idea of the lover lined with the pedagogue. C. asked to read the books I was reading; _id est_, K. O. Müller, in the original German; the _Orestea_, in the original Greek; _A Course of Hindoo Tradition_, published by the Society for the Propagation of Arianism; De Barante’s _Dukes of Burgundy_; and the _Old Ballads of France_, with an occasional dip into Catullus, Juvenal, Lucretius, or Horace. These were the books which I was reading, in a very desultory, unprofitable manner; for the weakness of my life has been inconstancy, even in the matter of books. A few pages of one, a random peep between the leaves of another, a hop, skip, and a jump between Oriental legend and Platonic philosophy, finding everywhere some point of comparison, some forced resemblance. I told my poor dear C. that anything like teaching on my part would be an impossibility. However, by way of satisfying the poor child’s thirst for knowledge, I sent a list of books to a London bookseller, including a few simple elementary works and my favourite English poets; and this little collection I presented to C. I found she had read all the poets, in her father’s library, and was indeed as familiar with them as I myself; but she received the books from me with an appearance of real delight. This was the first present I made her. It would have been a pleasure to me to lavish costly gifts upon her; but it was a pleasure more exquisite to withhold them, and to be sure that no adventitious aid had assisted me in the winning of her love.

“I think that most wearisome institution, the honeymoon, must have been inaugurated by some sworn foe to matrimony, some vile misogamist, who took to himself a wife in order to discover, by experience, the best mode of rendering married life a martyrdom.

“Enlightened by experience, this miserable wretch said to himself, ‘I will introduce a practice which, in the space of one short month, shall transform the doating bridegroom into the indifferent husband, the idolatrous lover into the submissive expiator of a fatal mistake. For one month I, by my invisible agent, Fashion, will bind together bride and bridegroom in dread imprisonment. Impalpable shall be their fetters; fair and luxurious shall be their prison; complacent and respectful shall be the valet and abigail, the lackeys and grooms who act as their gaolers; and in that awful bondage they shall have no worse chastisement than each other’s society. Chained together like the wretched convicts of Toulon, they shall pace to and fro their lonely exercise-ground, until the bright sky above and the bright earth around them shall seem alike hateful. They shall be for ever plumbing each other’s souls, and for ever finding shallows; for ever gauging each other’s minds, to be for ever disappointed by the result. And not till they have learned thoroughly to detest each other shall the order of release be granted, and the fiat pronounced: You know each other’s emptiness of mind and shallowness of heart; go forth and begin your new existence, profoundly wretched in the knowledge that your miserable lives must be spent together.’

“I had planned and plotted this residence at H. H., hoping to find a glimpse of Eden in this loneliness amid Nature’s splendour, ‘with one fair spirit for my minister.’ If I had been fond of sport, I might have found amusement for my days, and might have returned at night to my nest to meet an all-sufficient welcome in my love’s happy smile. But I was at this time a student, still suffering from the effects of over-work at O----, and a little from the disappointments of my career, hyper-sensitive, _tant soit peu_ irritable; and C.’s companionship bored me. This was a crisis of my life, in which I needed the sustaining influence of a stronger mind than my own. Even her affection became a kind of torment. She was too anxious to please me, too painfully conscious of my slightest show of weariness, too apprehensive of losing my regard. I could almost have said with Bussy Rabutin, “_Je ne pouvais plus souffrir ma maîtresse, tant elle m’aimait_.”

“It is needless to dwell upon this story of disappointment, that was so keen as to verge upon remorse. I hated myself for my folly; I was angry with this poor girl because she could neither be happy nor render me so. If there were any breach of honour involved in my broken promise, I paid dearly for my dishonour. And _that_ kind of promise is never intended to be believed: it is the easy excuse which a faithful knight provides for his lady-love. Let me be guilty of perjury, that you may still be perfect, he says; and the damsel accepts the chivalrous pretence.

“With this poor child, unhappily, there was no such thing as reason. Worldly wisdom, the necessities of position, the ties of family, were unknown in her vocabulary.

‘I have broken my father’s heart,’ she said, in that _larmoyante_ tone which became almost habitual to her. And thereupon, of course, I felt myself a wretch. At this period of my life I sometimes caught myself wondering what would have become of Faust if he and Gretchen had spent six months in a rustic cottage amongst the Hartz mountains. Surely he would have languished to return to his books, to his parchments, to his crucibles and mathematical instruments, his Nostradamus, and his prosy, insufferable Wagner; anything to escape that lugubrious maiden.

“And yet what can be a prettier picture than Gretchen plucking the petals of her rose, or my poor C., as I first saw her, bending with rapt countenance over my own book? Oh, fatal book, that brought sorrow to her, weariness unspeakable to me!

“If C. had been reasonable, she could have found little cause to complain of me. I had no intention of breaking the tie so lightly made. That I was responsible for that step, which must colour the remainder of _her_ existence, I never for a moment forgot. All I rebelled against was the notion that my future life was to be overshadowed by the funereal tint which her melancholy vision imparted to everything she looked upon. At one time I conceived the idea that she was disquieted by the uncertainty of the future, and I hastened to relieve her mind upon this point.

‘My darling girl,’ I said, with real earnestness, ‘you cannot surely doubt that your future will be my first care. Come what may, your prosperity, your happiness indeed,--so far as mortal man can command happiness,--shall be assured. I hope you do not doubt this.’

“She looked at me with that dull despair which of late I had more than once remarked in her countenance.

‘H.,’ she said, ‘shall I ever be your wife?’

“I turned my face away from her in silence, wrung her poor little cold hands in my own, and left her without a word. This was a question which I could not answer, a question which she should not have asked.

“That evening, as I walked alone in the dreary solitude under the cliffs, a sudden thought flashed into my mind.

‘Good heavens,’ I thought, ‘how completely I have put myself into this girl’s power by my folly; and what a hold she has upon me, if she knew how to use it, or were base enough to trade upon the advantages of her position!’

“Reflection told me that it was not in C. to make a mean use of power which I had so unwittingly placed in her hands. But I laughed aloud when I considered my shortsighted folly in allowing myself to drop into such a dangerous position.

“When we next met, C. was pallid as death, and I could see that she had devoted the interval to tears. I keenly felt her silent woe, and with my whole heart pitied her childish disappointment. Until this occasion I had not for a moment supposed that she cherished any hope of such folly on my part as an utter sacrifice of my liberty. It was this of which I thought, and not my position in the world. Had I been inclined for matrimony, I would as willingly have married this tradesman’s daughter as a countess. It was the hateful tie, the utter abnegation of man’s divinest gift of freedom, the mortgage of my future, from which I shrank with abhorrence.

‘My dear love,’ I said to C., as I tried to kiss away the traces of her tears, ‘I mean to love you all my life, if you will let me. And do you think I shall love you any less because I have not asked the Archbishop of Canterbury’s permission to adore you? And then I was guilty of that customary commonplace about ‘a marriage in the sight of Heaven,’ which has been especially invented for such occasions.

“After this I tried to indoctrinate her with the philosophy of the purest of men and most lawless of poets. I entreated her to rend custom’s mortal chain,

‘And walk as free as light the clouds among.’

But the exalted mind which can rise superior to the bondage of custom had not been given to this poor girl. She always went back to the one inevitable argument, ‘I have broken my father’s heart.’

“It was quite in vain that I endeavoured to make her see the ethics of life from a nobler stand-point. Her thoughts revolved always in the same narrow circle--B----, that odious watering-place, and the humdrum set of shopkeepers whom she had known from her childhood.

‘You do not know how my father is respected in the town,’ she said, piteously, when I reminded her of the insignificance of such a place as B---- when weighed against the rest of the universe, and ventured to suggest that the esteem and approbation of B---- did not constitute the greatest sacrifice ever made by woman.

‘As for the respect which these good people feel for your father, what does it amount to, my dear love?’ I asked. ‘A man lives in some sleepy country town twenty years or so, and pays his debts, and attends the services of his parish church with unbroken regularity, and dies in the odour of sanctity; or else suddenly throws the mental powers of his fellow-townsmen off their balance by forging a bill of exchange, or murdering his wife and children, or setting his house on fire with a view to cheating the insurance companies. What is the respect of such people worth? It is given to the man who pays his tradesmen and goes to church. He may be the veriest tyrant, or hypocrite, or fool in the universe, and they respect him all the same. He may have squared the circle, or solved the problem of perpetual motion, or invented the steam-engine, or originated the process of vaccination, and if he fails to pay his butcher and baker, and to attend his church, they will withhold their respect. Greatness of intellect, or of conduct, is utterly beyond their comprehension. They would consider Columbus a doubtful character, and Raleigh a disreputable one.’

“Upon this I saw symptoms of tears, and timeously departed. The dear child took everything _au grand sérieux_. Oh! how I languished for the graceful badinage of Kensington Gore, the careless talk of my clubs--anything rather than this too poetical loneliness!

“I planned my future that night. Some pretty rustic cottage for C. in the hilly country between Hampstead and Barnet, within an easy ride of town, where my own headquarters must needs be when not abroad. I had fancied that C. and I could have travelled together, but I found her far too _triste_ a companion for Continental wanderings. She was too ignorant to appreciate scenes which owe their best charm to association, and thus utterly unable to sympathize with the emotions which those scenes might excite in the breast of her fellow-traveller; nor had she the animal spirits which render the ignorance of some women amusing. She was, in short, the genius of home rather than the goddess of poetry; and I resolved to establish a home over which she might preside, a haven from the storms of life, whither I might go to have oil poured into my wounds, and whence I might return to the world refreshed and comforted.

“I pictured to myself this home, as fair as taste and wealth could make it. No flowers that my hand could lavish would have been wanting to adorn this poor girl’s pathway. I have no reproach to make against myself here. There are few lives happier than hers would have been, if she had been content to entrust herself to my guidance. But my liberty was a treasure which I could not bring myself to resign.

“All might, perhaps, have gone well with us but for one unlucky turn of affairs; an accident in which a fatalist would have recognized the hand of Destiny, but in which I saw only one of those foolish _contretemps_ which assist the further entanglement of that tangled skein called Life.

“One day, in a sudden fit of disgust with myself, my books, my companion, and the universe, I left the house, and went on foot in search of some wandering Mephistopheles with whom to barter my soul for a fresh sensation.

“I was five-and-twenty. My _première jeunesse_--the bloom on the peach, the down on the butterfly’s wing, the fresh dews of morning, the glory of the sunshine--had been wasted. The world called me a young man--young because bitter thoughts had not yet set their mark upon my brow. They were only inscribed upon my heart. I surveyed the horizon of my life, and saw that the stars had all vanished. There was only the dull equal gray of a sunless afternoon. It is impossible to imagine a prospect more completely blank than that on which I looked. There is no pleasure known to mankind that I had not tasted, to satiety. The baser, as well as the more refined--I had tried them all. In the records of Roman dissipation Suetonius or Gibbon could suggest little--except some darker vices--which I had not tried, and found wanting. I had slept under the reticulated lilies of Antinöus, and supped upon beef-steaks and porter with the gladiators of Commodus, in the modern guise of Tom Spring and Ben Caunt. Love had been powerless to give me happiness. Friendship I had been too wise to test. My friends were the friends of the rich Timon. I did not value them so highly as to put their friendship through the crucible of pretended poverty. I took them for what they were worth; and my sole cause of complaint against them was that they failed to amuse me. My life was one long yawn--and if I still lived, it was only because I knew not what purgatory of perpetual _ennui_ might await me on Acheron’s further shore. Could I have been certain of such an Inferno as Dante’s--all action, passion, fever, excitement--I should gladly have exchanged the placid wretchedness of life for the stirring horrors of that dread under-world.

“On this one particular day, when most of all I felt the utter weariness of my existence, I wandered purposeless along the mountain-side--thinking of those rugged steeps of Hellas, which the scene recalled--and scarcely knew whither my footsteps took me, till I suddenly found myself in a scene that was very familiar, and on a spot which, though not by any means remote from my own eyrie, I had hitherto avoided.

“I was on the landward slope of the mountain; below me lay a lake, and between my stand-point and the water rose curling wreaths of blue smoke from the chimneys of a house which I knew very well.

“It was the hunting-lodge of E. T., a man who was, if not my friend, at least one of my oldest acquaintances; a man between whom and myself there reigned that easy-going familiarity which passes current for friendship. We had been partners at whist, had been in love with the same women, _de par le haut monde_ and _de par le bas monde_. We had bought horses of each other; had cheated each other, more or less unconsciously, in such dealing; had helped each other to break the bank at a Palais-Royal gaming-table; had been concerned together in an opera-ball riot one Easter with the D. of H. and certain Parisian notabilities of the Boulevard du Gand. If this be not friendship, I know not what is.

“The sight of those blue wreaths of smoke; the remembrance of the riot in the Rue Lepelletier; the little suppers at the Rocher and the Trois Frères; the wit, the wine, the fever of the blood that for the time being is almost happiness--stirred my senses with a faint thrill of pleasure.

‘If T. is there, I will ask him to dine with me,’ I thought; ‘C. must accustom herself to receive my friends, or to let me receive them without her. I am suffering from the Londoner’s nostalgie; I languish for the air of the club-houses and the Ring. It will be something to hear the newest scandals, fresh from the lips of E. T., who is a notorious gossip and _mauvais diseur_.’

“I had some reason for concluding that T. was stopping at his place. The smoke gave evidence that the house was inhabited, and I knew that in his absence the place was generally shut up, and left in the charge of a shepherd, who lived in a wretched shanty further down the valley. My friend’s finances were as slender as his lineage was noble. He claimed a direct descent from the Plantagenets, and was never out of the hands of the Jews.

‘They are taking it out of me on account of that nasty knack of my ancestors, who raised money by the extraction of the teeth of Israel,’ he said. ‘But we have changed all that. Isaac of York has the best of it now-a-days, and draws the teeth of the Giaour!’

“I turned aside from the narrow path skirting the mountain, and walked down the slope towards E. T.’s _pied-à-terre_. I was absurdly pleased at the idea of seeing a man whose character I thoroughly despised, and whose death I should have heard of without so much as a passing regret.

“In my utter weariness of myself and my own thoughts, I cared not in what cloaca I found a harbour of refuge. The gate of the small domain swung loosely on its hinges. I pushed it open, and walked across the small lawn, bordered by shrubberies of fir and laurel. As I neared the porch, I saw the red glow of a fire shining in one of the lower windows, and was welcomed by a yapping chorus of lap-dogs, whose bark sounded shrill through the open door. There was no need for ceremony in this wild region; and even if I had wished to stand upon punctilio, there was neither bell nor knocker whereby I might have demanded admittance. I walked straight into the hall, or lobby--the former title is too grandiose for so small a chamber--and was immediately struck by the change which had come over the scene since I had looked upon it some twelve months before.

“It was then a rude chaos of gunnery, fishing-tackle, single-sticks, fencers’ masks, boxing-gloves, plastrons, pipes, greatcoats, leather gaiters, fishing-boots, mackintoshes, and horse-cloths; nauseous with the odour of stale tobacco, and dangerous by the occupation of savage dogs. It was now dainty as a lady’s boudoir: the floor bright with scarlet sheepskins, the walls gay with French prints. A velvet curtain half-shrouded the door of my friend’s dining-room, just revealing a peep of the bright picture within--a table spread for luncheon, with snowy linen and sparkling glass. Half a dozen little yapping dogs issued from this room, and assailed me with shrill rancour. Not such specimens of the canine race had I before beheld in this mountain retreat. My friend T. ever affected the biggest and roughest of the species. Lancashire-bred mastiffs, Danish wolfhounds--the very Titans of the canine race from Mount St. Bernard or Newfoundland. These little creatures were the apoplectic descendants of that royal race which was cradled on the knees of Castlemain and Portsmouth, swaddled in the purple of Charles. Among these appeared a couple of russet-coated pugs, with negro features, swart visages, and short, bandy legs.

“Amidst the clamour of these creatures my entrance was unheard. I stooped down to examine the brutes, and was amused to perceive that the collar of one of the spaniels was the daintiest toy of filigree gold and mosaic.

‘Has my friend turned _petit maitre_?’ I asked myself.

“A second glance showed me a name upon the collar--Carlitz.

“Carlitz! Hast thou not read, oh! gentle reader, Eastern stories that tell how, by a magician’s wand, a fairy palace has risen suddenly in the midst of the barren desert, with birds singing, and fountains dancing in the sunlight; and among the fountains, and flowers, and birds, and barbarously-splendid colonnades, tripping across the tesselated floors, there comes something more beautiful than tropical bird or flower?

“The princess of the fairy tale--the Orient personified, with all its languid loveliness, its intoxicating sweetness, its colour and music, and sunshine and perfume--melted into one divine human creature.

“This is what the name upon the dog’s collar did for me. It was the arch-enchanter’s wand, evoking a goddess, in that bleak valley where I had hoped only to find a commonplace acquaintance.

“Carlitz! Shall I try to describe her--to describe the indescribable? Thou knowest her, kind reader; on thee, too, has she shone; for not to have seen her is to be a slave so dull that I would not think this book should fall into such unworthy hands. I will say of her what Lysippus said of Athens:

‘Hast not seen Carlitz, then thou art a log; Hast seen and not been charmed, thou art an ass.’

Or if, by reason of absence in far-distant lands, thou hast not seen her, picture to thyself the fairest princess of thy childish fairy lore, place her on a mortal stage, the cynosure of a thousand eyes, the idol of innumerable hearts, the topic of incalculable tongues, the gossip of uncountable newspapers, or, in one word--THE FASHION; endow her with a voice of the rarest power and richness; gift her with smiles that bewitch the fancy and accents that enthrall the soul; surround her with all the loveliest objects art ever devised or taste selected--and thou hast some faint image of that supernal being whom men call Carlitz.

“She lives still--still walks ‘a form of life and light,’ which, seen, becomes ‘a part of sight;’ but the first glory of her loveliness has departed--the rich, ripe voice has lost some touch of its old music. She is still Carlitz, and to say this is to say that she is fairer than all the rest of womankind; but she is no longer the Carlitz of those days when Plancus was consul, and the Bonbonnière Opera-house was in its glory.”