CHAPTER V.

THE FIFTEEN POSTAGE-STAMP PUZZLE.

_The two Conspirators--The Destitute state of the Finances--Swindle concocted--A polite Speech--The golden Harvest._

It is a threadbare saying, but a very true one, that nothing succeeds like success. Be the money made in questionable ways, such as by a little piracy in Chinese waters, selling guns never intended to shoot to North American Indians, or by a quack medicine, which professes to cure all diseases humanity is heir to, the man himself, the millionaire, will be glorified. As in America, so in the mother country, the money-bags cover a multitude of sins. It is pitiable, and does not give one a high impression of the multitude's brains, that the most glaring imposition, if thoroughly well advertised and persisted in, is bound to yield large profits.

It may not have been overlooked, although not noticed much in the newspapers, but the most satirical thing done in the present century of the Christian era has been the erection of an asylum for imbeciles by a gentleman who shall be, for obvious reasons, nameless. The act speaks volumes, and ought to be worth a cartoon by Tenniel as a lesson for thousands. The donor has been behind the scenes, and knows our little weaknesses and is ashamed of us! After putting away all the money he cares about, he devotes the surplus to the more benighted and helpless of his immense clientele. A statue ought to be erected to such a man; his head has evidently been fitted to his shoulders in a correct and proper manner. Early in life he found out the immense advantage of advertising, and also the gullibility of a vast majority of the earth. There are other men, no doubt, just as sharp as our asylum friend, who know quite as well how to reap considerable profit from this knowledge, and the Fifteen Postage-stamp Puzzle is a case in point.

It was a miserable room of one of those dilapidated inns near the Strand that the stamp project was hatched. Two men, shabbily dressed, were seated opposite each other at an old table, on which was a pewter-pot. They were both smoking clay pipes and drinking beer, and were in anything but a happy mood, to judge from their appearance and general aspect; and one might safely conclude they could not boast of having a superfluity of cash. I will now introduce these two men by the names of Bathurst and Fenn. Bathurst is a tall, dark-looking man, with a hooked nose and teeth remarkably white. His family got him into Her Majesty's Nary as a midshipman, and he was in a fair way to promotion when something occurred connected with a gambling transaction which caused him to resign. Fenn is also tall, but very fair. His parents gave him a good education, and he was getting a decent salary as a shop-walker in a Regent Street firm when a young lady mysteriously disappeared, and along with, her went furs and silks of much value. Suspicion, for which, no doubt, there were good grounds, pointed to Fenn as the young lady's confederate, and the place became too hot for him. These two men, who were in that uncertain age between 30 and 40, first met in a billiard-room, and immediately struck up an alliance offensive and defensive.

They have been living on their wits ever since, but things have evidently not been prospering with them latterly, as the following conversation will show:--

Fenn--What money have you got?

Bathurst (turning out his pockets)--There 5s. 3-1/2d.! What have you got?

Fenn (opening a purse)--There, only half-a-crown!

Bathurst--Well, it's no good having ideas if that's the extent of our capital!

Fenn--But what is the notion? We must raise money somehow!

Bathurst--How? Where? If that brute of a horse had only won to-day we would have been all right.

Fenn--Can't we go to that tobacconist's shop and have a game of Napoleon?

Bathurst--No; the last time we met in his back shop the police heard the row between Brown and that fool Peter, and he don't intend to risk it again--at least for the present. There is more to be made at pool in Beak-street if one had only a little luck.

Fenn--Yes, the marker is all right; but some of the players were inclined to make remarks.

Bathurst--That must be risked. Here, take the money; your luck is better than mine. If you can manage to net two or three sovereigns, I see my way to hundreds!

Fenn--But you have not told me your idea. Is it a secret? Perhaps it requires registration.

Bathurst--You won't be so cheeky when you find the stamps come rolling in.

Fenn--Oh! it is a case of stamps, is it? I suppose some recipe for restoring beautiful hair to the baldest heads, or creating an aversion to drink, or perhaps a plan as to how to make a fortune out of baked potatoes!

Bathurst--Oh, stop your chaff!

Fenn--Well out with the infallible remedy for filling empty pockets.

Bathurst--The idea is to advertise to send fifteen disconnected stamps for twelve connected ones!

Fenn (starting up and doing a breakdown)--Oh, Jerusalem! that will be profitable.

Bathurst--Yes, stupid! The idea is as good as gold. You go and make the small capital required, and you will see wonders.

Fenn--But what are the particulars? How is it to be carried out?

Bathurst--For further particulars see our next. Come along now and play your best.

Good fortune attended Fenn's exertions that evening, and he came away the winner of more than the required sum. The following morning the scheme was fully discussed and final arrangements made for carrying it out. It is right to state that Bathurst's project was not altogether original on his part, the idea being taken from the "Arabian Nights Entertainment"--the exchanging of new lamps for old ones. The next day the following advertisement appeared in all the newspapers, and was circulated extensively:--

"Strange, but true!--A gentleman of position has good reasons of his own for wishing to exchange Fifteen disconnected Unused Penny Postage Stamps for Twelve Connected Ones!--Letters answered at once.--Address, 'Secretary, Box 44, No.----, Strand, London, W.C.'"

Many who read this extraordinary advertisement doubtless thought that the advertiser must have made some strange wager; others that he had probably been paid a debt of a large amount in disconnected penny stamps, which the Post-Office declined to receive; others came to the conclusion that he was some eccentric philanthropist, who desired in his original way to benefit his fellow creatures; and there were others, no doubt, who pronounced the "gentleman of position" a swindler, and the whole affair a fraud. The last-named were not a little astonished, however, to hear that the advertiser really kept his word--that fifteen stamps were actually returned for twelve!

What assisted to make the scheme popular and to draw particular attention to it was the arrival at most of the principal towns of secret agents, whose duty it was to frequent bar-parlours in the evening, take occasion to read the advertisement aloud to those present, and enter into conversation upon it, eventually proposing, just to test its genuineness, to forward the twelve connected stamps--procuring and enclosing them at the bar. The answer would, of course, promptly arrive conveying the advertised number of stamps. Needless to say others followed the example, and with a like result, it becoming subsequently quite a popular amusement in many towns to send twelve stamps to London to receive in return fifteen! In fact, if you wanted a stamp to post a letter, you were jocularly asked why you did not send to London for one? These secret agents "did" many publichouses each night, and by the end of three or four days took their departure for "fresh fields and pastures new."

There were altogether about twenty agents, and before despatching them on their mission Mr. Bathurst considered it necessary to appoint a meeting at his chambers, now suitably furnished, and addressed them as follows: "Gentlemen, I believe you have received your instructions detailing the plan of procedure and how you are to conduct your correspondence with this office. Before starting, however, I wish, with the concurrence of my partner, to say a few words to you. You have been selected, gentlemen, out of many hundred applicants, on account of your good characters and respectability, and we trust you will do nothing to forfeit that good opinion. The business you have in hand, gentlemen, requires tact and a certain amount of secrecy. It is not for us to discuss with you the merits or demerits of the whim which actuates our client. We have simply to obey and carry out his orders, as we expect you, gentlemen, in like manner, to carry out and obey ours, being, as it were, soldiers obeying, not questioning, the orders of their superior officers. There may be, gentlemen, for aught we know, a large sum of money depending on the result of your exertions. But whether that be the case or not, it will have nothing whatever to do with the punctuality with which you shall be paid your respective salaries. Now, gentlemen, as regards the genuineness of this announcement, it is easily ascertained--you or your friends can test it for yourselves. If people were not so incredulous or hard of belief, so much afraid of being hoodwinked or humbugged, we of course could have relied on our advertisements alone and dispensed with your services; but this is an unbelieving age, gentlemen, and we have some trouble, nowadays, to convince people that we really wish to do them a service. Therefore, to show the public that this is a _bona fide_ transaction, and that our client means what he says, will be your especial duty. In conclusion, gentlemen, allow me to offer you my best wishes, with that of my partner, for your immediate success, feeling quite sure that our confidence has not been misplaced. Good-day, gentlemen; the cashier will take your receipts for salary as you leave the office."

As may be supposed, the opinions of the agents were at variance regarding the affair. It was thought, however, by the majority that probably some jolly and wealthy sportsman like the famous Marquis of Waterford had staked a large sum of money on the result; but as they had half the first week's salary in advance and their letter of instructions, they considered they were on the profitable side of the project, and so decided to proceed on their mission.

They, therefore, separated and started for their respective districts. Certain newspapers in some towns would not insert the advertisement, but there were others not so particular, and so the scheme was successfully launched. It was met at first with some rough suspicion, no doubt, but keeping it well before the public by means of advertising, together with a little energy, it turned out a complete success, and flourished like the proverbial green bay tree.

My readers have now read how Mr. Bathurst's stamp idea was successfully worked out of doors. I will now narrate how it was managed in his office. There was £5 worth of penny postage stamps purchased and disconnected. As the answers came in they were immediately answered, the applicant's twelve stamps with three extra returned in each case. This continued until the bank (£5!) was exhausted. Thus far they carried out the terms and conditions of the advertisement, at the same time keeping faith with the public. They now worked very cautiously, as it required delicate handling and steady manœuvring, and they did not mean to expend another penny. It was necessary, at the same time, to keep the business afloat so long as there was no chance of exposure. They accordingly kept back a certain number of letters, writing on each the day it arrived, The stamps in these delayed letters made up the extra three required for each of the others, which were duly forwarded. On the following morning the detained letters were immediately sent off, with a note of apology explaining that pressure of business had caused the delay. This mode of procedure went on for a short time, when one day they found they were irretrievably in arrears, so numerous were the applications! Now came their dishonest harvest! There were no more letters of apology! Business suspended! During the five or six days Mr. Bathurst's "idea" was in existence the applications came in by hundreds, and resulted in the round sum of £500!

It is scarcely necessary to add that there was soon an office to let in that particular inn near the Strand, and that the whereabouts of Messrs Bathurst and Fenn was not easily obtainable for a considerable time afterwards.