Part 1
CUPID’S CYCLOPEDIA
CUPID’S CYCLOPEDIA
Compiled _for_ Daniel Cupid _by_ Oliver Herford _and_ John Cecil Clay
Charles Scribner’s Sons _New York_ : : : : : 1910
To _YOU_
And all whom _YOU_ love And all who love _YOU_
Authors’ Note
_It has long been the belief of the authors that Love-making should be included in the regular curriculum of our schools. It seems to us the most important branch of co-education._
_How few of us know how to make love properly, and how very few, after making it, know how to keep it!_
_So much depends upon the kind of love which is made. There are no artificial methods of preserving love, but the best kind will keep forever. Few beginners know how to make the lasting kind, and many, even, of those with vast experience are still quite clumsy. The only way is to keep at it._
_We hope that this book will fill a long-felt want. Surely of all long-felt wants the want of love seems longest._
_It is for the earnest student of True Love that we have compiled this cyclopedia._
A
The words Ark, Antediluvian, Ancestry, Archæology, and Antiquity all support the above theory.
Girls like Adelaide, Agatha, Agnes, Alice, Althea, Amanda, Amy, Angelina, and Arabella, whose initials fall in this letter will be Attractive, Amiable, Artless, and in the opposite sex most attracted by those of Ardent, Ambitious, and Affable disposition.
ABSENCE. The sixth sense, arrived at by the exclusion of the other five. A powerful stimulant to love. See _longing_. When combined with _distance_ lends enchantment to the other five senses.
ADAMANT, _m._ A very hard word. See _father_.
ADMIRATION. From _admi_, the Persian word meaning _love_, and _ration_, food; _love-food_ or _food of love_.
AFFINITY, _f._ Ad, at; finis, boundary; at the boundary. The one one meets around the corner.
ALIMONY. The fine for speeding in the joy-ride of Matrimony.
ALTAR. The forge where hearts are fused. From the word _halter_, to hitch.
AMOUNT. A foreign measure of Love.
ANCHOR. The symbol of Hope. See English word _hanker_, to long for.
ANGEL. See HER.
APPENDIX. See last page.
ARM. The arm is a muscular string connecting the hand with the shoulder. A man can give his arm without giving his hand. Coat-of-Arms (Cupid’s), Heart-shaped shield—Gules, pierced by an Arrow—Argent. Crest, on an olive branch, a Dove _Proper_ ringed d’or, flappant.
ASHES. Fashionable Lenten head-dress. Especially effective when combined with sackcloth.
AVOWAL. A show-down in the Game of Love.
B
BABY. A small thing somewhat resembling a cupid without wings.
BACHELOR, _n._ An immune.
BALCONY. Cupid’s fire escape.
BEAUTY, _f._ An affection of the skin; taking but not contagious. Most popular American export.
BEST. Best girl—see Her.
BILL. See coo.
BIRD. See hat.
BLUSH. A weakness of youth and an accomplishment of experience. The pink of impropriety.
BOND. There are two kinds. The United States bonds and Cupid’s bonds of the united state.
BRAVERY. A quality looked for in man, found in woman. The personal adornment of a woman and the mental adornment of a man.
BREACH, Breach of promise suit. A suit made to fit the devil, but sometimes worn by Cupid.
BREAK, to break hearts. Popular pastime of the American girl.
BRUTE, _n._ A husband.
C
The attractive qualities of their affinities are Candor, Coolness, Cynicism, Cleverness, and Cash.
CAKE, Wedding Cake. A saccharine monument to the memory of Love.
CARE. The Mother of Thrift and the Child of Extravagance. If you do not take it before marriage it will overtake you after.
CARESS. A sort of dope; very enjoyable.
CASH. A sort of window fastener to keep Love from flying out.
CAD, _m._ The other man.
CAT, _f._ The other woman.
CHAIR. A small ingeniously constructed seat for two people. Called after Cheops, the inventor. The first chair was presented to Cassiopeia and now appears in the constellation of that name.
CHEESE. Part of Cupid’s Menu (Bread and Cheese and Kisses).
CLOCK. A paradoxical chaperon who is least in the way when it doesn’t go.
COMPANY. 2.
CONSENT. See Papa.
COO. See bill.
COURTSHIP. A picturesque gateway to a commonplace estate.
CROWD. 3.
CURE, of Love. Marriage.
CURIOSITY. The taper which lights the flame of Love.
CURL, _f._ A man trap. _v._ to curl. The dog curls up to sleep, the cat curls up to sleep, even my lady curls up to sleep.
CYNIC. One who has been stung.
D
Realizing the usefulness of such words, Solomon created the letter D, in order to be able to spell them. In the hieroglyphics of the times it was written as this fragment will show, the form being taken from Hipopotamia’s little pet dog, Hydrophobia.
D has turned out to be one of the most useful letters in Cupid’s Alphabet, beginning as it does, Dearie, Ducky, Dreams, Delight, Determination, and Desire. But it has an unhappy side in Don’t, Disappointment, and Despair.
The girls under this letter are all Darlings. See any one of them.
DARLING. From Dearling, a little Dear—sometimes excessively dear.
DEAR. Beloved—also expensive.
DAWN. A term for early morning, used by people who don’t have to get up.
DEFECTS. What a woman loves a man for.
DELUSION. Hope’s dressmaker.
DESIRE. Love’s partner.
DIMPLE, _f._ A pitfall in a garden of Blush Roses.
DOGGEREL. Rhyme without reason, generally written by puppies.
DOUGH. That which is kneaded. A slang word for money.
DOVE. A tender fowl, popular both in poetry and cookery books. When too old to roast or broil, may be served up in verse as the emblem of conjugal love.
DREAM. _Fem._ Term used by a woman describing a hat.
_Mas._ Term describing the woman used by the man who is destined to buy the hat.
DUEL. The highest compliment two men can pay one woman.
DUTY. A millstone sometimes mistaken by Cupid for a heart. What we expect in others.
E
The girls under E, for instance, Edith, Eleanor, Elizabeth, Elsie, Emily, Emma, Esther, Eunice, Evangeline, and Evelina, are distinguished for Ease, Elegance, Excitability, and Economy, and will be most attracted in the opposite sex by Extravagance, Eccentricity, and Earlyrising.
ESCAPE. Divorce.
ETERNITY. “I’ll be down in a minute.”
EVIL. A wile of the devil.
“EVER AND FOR EVER.” The devil of a while.
EXCUSE. Self accusation.
EXPERIENCE. An expensive tutor.
EYEBROW. A mustache worn over the eye. An incentive to sonnets.
F
F girls will be Frank, Fragile, and Fastidious, and those named Fanny, Felicia, Flora, Fidelia, Florence, Frances, or Flo will find their affinities in those of the opposite sex who are Fearless, Fickle, and Fantastic.
FAINTING. (Obsolete.) A feminine manœuvre.
FASHION. _Fem._ The sum of all the virtues.
FIG, Fig Leaf. A Fall Fashion of a false modiste. See Fig. 1.
FIRST. First Love. An appetiser. First Kiss. Much has been written about the exquisite joy of this, still it is unsatisfying, hence the Second, the Third, etc., _ad lib._
FLIRTATION. A way for two people, who are not married to each other, to pass the time. As a matter of fact a flirtation isn’t anything, it’s a thing to do and is really easier to do than to describe. There are many sorts of Flirtation. The Every-day or Sidewalk Flirtation is the commonest kind. Other very popular forms are the Eye, the Eyebrow, the Fan, the Glove, the Handkerchief, and the Foot Flirtation.
A natural attribute to woman, but an easily acquired accomplishment in man.
FOREVER. Love’s promissory note (subject to discount).
G
Gertrude, Georgiana, Grace, and all the girls of this letter will be Glorious with their Generosity, Gentleness, Grace, and Gaiety, and cannot be won by Gold or Gems. He who would win one of these must be Guileless and Go-ahead.
GARTER. (See knee.) A species of serpent.
GAS, Gas-light. A light often too weak for one and generally too strong for two. “The fainter the gas the braver the beau.”—_Shakespeare._
GIRL. The beginning of trouble. An apple blossom in the Garden of Love.
GOOSEBERRY. An unbidden fruit.
GOSSIP. Nothing to speak of.
GRASS WIDOW. A Grass Widow is a Widow which makes hay.
H
It would be hard to reckon the immense amount of good this letter has done, for without Hell and Headache how many of us would be good? And O the joys of life! For without H where would Happiness and the Honeymoon be? And where Heart, Hope, Health, and Harmony?
Girls under this sign will be Handsome, Honest, and Home-loving, but those named Helen, Harriet, Henrietta, and Hannah seem to be easily Hypnotized by Hollow, Hypocritical Humbugs of the opposite sex.
_Hooray!_
HAPPINESS. The mainspring of the good-time piece.
HEAVEN. “All in her eye.”
HEART. The ticker in the Bourse of Love.
HEARTICULTURE. See Cupid’s Almanac.
HELL! An expression of petulance.
HESITATION. The thief of good times.
HONESTY. A bunker in the game of Love.
HONEYMOON. The sugar on the bread of matrimony.
HOPE. “… the child of Care, And pretty sister of Despair.”
I
I has a leaning to the cold and classic in its choice of females, some of its favorites being, Iphigenia, Irene, Imogen, Ivias, and Iolanthe. To these ladies the most appealing masculine qualities will be Irony, Idleness, Independence, and Impecuniosity.
I. The most popular letter in the alphabet.
IF. The drawbridge to the Castle of Hope.
ILLUSION. Love’s tailor and Art’s servant.
INK. The stuff that Bills, Books, and Billet-doux are made of.
INNOCENCE. A moral vacuum.
J
There has been much controversy over this fragment, some claiming it to represent a Jay Bird, others a Duck, some an Owl because of the moon in its eye, but _we_ are sure it’s a _love of a Dove_! Why? Because a Jay Bird is blue, a Duck has webbed feet, and an Owl a hooked bill.
It is a jolly letter and has been the beginning of much Joy and foolish Jealousy. The worst thing it ever did was when it started the word Jilt.
The men most attractive to such Jolly girls as Jane, Julia, Josephine, Jemima, Juliet, and Juliana are those of Just but Jovial disposition.
JEALOUSY. Cupid’s shadow.
JEST. See life.
“Life is a jest And all things show it; I thought so once— But now I know it.”
—_Gay’s Epitaph._
JILT. An angel unawares. Originally _Jolt_, _i. e._, a jolt on the path of True Love which never runs smooth. Schopenhauer in his great work on Dutch Treats spells it _chilt_, and gives it as an obsolete past tense of the verb _to chill_.
JOY. The Libretto of Laughter.
JUNE. The time to make hay.
K
The girls under this sign are usually named Katherine (meaning Pure) or one of its diminutives—Kitty or Kate. They are always Kind and extremely Kissable, while the men are apt to be Keen, Knowledge-seeking, and Knightly.
KHEF. (Pronounced _keff_.) Arabic slang, to loaf happily, to invite one’s soul. The action of doing nothing.
KINDNESS. The larger half of the other boy’s apple.
KING. The card that takes the Queen.
KISMATE. A young lady one is on kissing terms with.
KISMET. Originally _kiss met_, meaning Good Luck.
KISS. A course of procedure, cunningly devised, for the mutual stoppage of speech at a moment when words are superfluous.
KISSING. See under mustache. A pastime of the unmarried.
KNEE. An adjustable, animated settee designed for the use of ladies.
KNOWLEDGE. Dame Nature’s lover.
KNOT. An entanglement.
L
The neo-Babylonian characters are the most sentimental ever known, as they are made up almost entirely of arrangements of this symbol slightly conventionalized.
Lois, Laura, Leonora, Lucy, Lydia, Lucretia, Louise, and Lucinda, the women under this sign, are Languid, Luscious, Lackadaisical, and Loving; while the men are usually named Lionel and are Light-hearted, and Lazy.
NOTE:—It is interesting to note the Chinese use of the same symbol surrounded by tears [Illustration], pronounced sim, meaning Heart.
LAP. A pillow. See Gray.
“Here rests his head upon the lap of earth.”
LIPS. The two edges or borders of the mouth; the two fleshy or muscular parts composing the opening of the mouth. Generally used for kissing, cussing, and conversation.
LONELINESS. An instigation. The married man’s meat, the single man’s poison.
LOTTERY. From _lot_, state; _awry_, askew. A cynical definition of marriage.
LOVE. A transitory derangement of all the five senses. The chemistry of attraction.
LURE. Cupid’s signposts, not always safe to follow. They may be found in many and fantastic shapes, such as a bow of ribbon, a stray ringlet, a side-long glance, a sigh, or a breath of heliotrope.
M
Girls of this letter will be Modest and will have Merry and Magnetic dispositions, and will be most happy when married to Masterful, Manly men of Means.
The one thing to mar this letter is its connection with the word _Mitten_.
MARRIAGE. The conventional ending of a love affair. A lonesome state.
MEMORY. A thing to forget with.
MIRROR (her mirror). Cupid’s cook stove.
MISERY. Lover of Company.
MODESTY. Conscious purity.
MOLE. The exception that proves the rule.
MONEY. See Uncle.
MONOGAMY. Sometimes spelling _monotony_.
MOON. A planetary old maid who busies herself about other people’s love affairs and the recipient of love confidences.
MRS. The O. K. of respectability.
MUSTACHE. As Kipling says: “Kissing a man without a mustache is like eating an egg without salt.” (?) The question was recently put before the Ten Million subscribers of _The Perfectlady’s Home Journal_, every one of whom, without a single exception, replied that she did not know—never having eaten an egg without salt.
A MASCULINE NOTE:—If SHE is an M girl you will be lucky if HER name is Malinda or Miriam or Mabel or Miranda or Melicent or Maud or Mehetabel or Magdalene or Maria or Minerva or Marion or Minna or Margaret or Matilda or Marcia or Marianne or Melissa or Martha or Mary.
N
NATURE. Dame Nature. The mistress of the House of Life, in which Love is ever the favored guest.
NEGLECT. A breakfast food of Love.
NEVER! A feminine sign of yielding.
NO. Feminine for _Yes_.
NOTHING. The boundaries of the Universe and of Love.
NUMBER. (Cupid’s Lucky Number) 2.
O
From its very shape it means happiness and content.
O girls will be Orderly, and in olden times were fond of Osculation. The men are often Odd, Ostentatious, and Overbearing.
OCEANS. A minute measure of Love.
OH! An exclamation meaning “this is so sudden.”
ONIONS. Should never be eaten alone.
OPPORTUNITY. An invitation of Fate.
OSCULATION. A game of chance.
OWN. To possess. From _onus_, a burden.
P