Chapter 4

Did you really think for a moment that I had conceived the idea of giving concerts in order to make propaganda for myself, or to make music, or what not? Did you not see at once that this plan was purely the result of despair at my miserable pecuniary situation, and that the only question that required an answer was whether or not I could make money by it, money in return for an unheard-of sacrifice, an act of self-abnegation, which probably I should not have been able to go through with after all? How badly I must have expressed myself! Excuse me for having given rise to such a misunderstanding, and be thanked all the more for the trouble you took nevertheless.

My dear, worthy friend, how proud and happy was I not three years ago, before I had done anything out of keeping with the full consciousness of my antagonistic position towards our artistic publicity. When at that time you, with your friendly anxiety, were intent upon getting "public recognition" for me and a wider field for my works, I used to smile and guard myself against every temptation. But the demon took hold of me; in my terribly bare life, my inclination began to grow again towards some of the amenities of existence; I yielded to temptation, surrendered my scores, was surprised at their success, and--hoped. I now curse this hope. I feel humiliated before myself, because I seek in vain release from this grief of self-reproach.

Hulsen has told X. that the whole thing in connection with me was DONE. Fortunately I was able to comfort X. with the thought that HE had not done it; but Hulsen is right: the thing is "done for." What finally could enlighten me better as to the truth and genuineness of my successes than the fact that in the very places where they had been gained, and with every conceivable trouble, the loan of--I must speak plainly--1,000 thalers could not be raised amongst my "admirers?" This very trivial matter speaks volumes to me.

Pray, dearest Franz, do not talk to me of my fame, my honours, my position, or whatever the name may be. I am positively certain that all my "successes" are based on BAD, very BAD, performances of my works, that they therefore rest on misunderstandings, and that my public reputation is not worth an empty nutshell. Let us give up all diplomatic contrivances, this dealing with means which we despise for ends which, closely considered, can never be achieved, least of all by those means. Let us leave alone this COTERIE, this connection with idiots who in a body have no notion of what we really aim at. I ask you, What satisfaction, what pleasure, can we derive from the assistance of all these silly people, whatever their names may be? I sometimes cannot understand your ironical enjoyment of life, which gets over your disgust at these people by making fun of them. Away with all this stuff, this "glory," this nonsense! We live at a time when glory can bring neither joy nor honour.

Listen to me: "Tannhauser" and "Lohengrin" I have thrown to the winds; I do not want to know any more of them. When I gave them over to theatrical jobbery, I cast them out, I condemned them to the task of begging for me, of getting me money, NOTHING BUT MONEY. Even for that purpose I should not like to employ them if I were not compelled to do so. After the insight which I have gained this summer, I should willingly submit to the penance of selling all my goods and chattels, and go, naked as I am, into the wide world, where--I swear it to you--no illusion should tempt me any more. But my wife could not bear such a violent step again; I know it would kill her. Well then, FOR HER SAKE I am resolved to go on. "Tannhauser" and "Lohengrin" must go to the Jews. But I am unable to wait and see how much more they might bring me in in certain patiently looked-for contingencies than now, when I am compelled to get rid of them at any price, and the sooner the better. Tell me, dearest friend, how do matters stand at Berlin? Did you merely rely upon making our condition plausible to Herr von Hulsen, or had you prepared other means of securing your honourable invitation to Berlin? I am almost inclined to believe the latter, and to hope in consequence that you will soon be able to announce our triumph. The want of Berlin for my operas involves the delay of the rest of the business, and I assure you that the spreading of my operas is entirely a matter of BUSINESS to me. This is the only real point; all the rest is, and remains, fictitious. Let us not attempt to look upon the matter in any serious light except as regards money. I should despise myself if I paid any attention to anything beyond this. For me the song of the "world" was sung to an end long ago.

And do you know what has confirmed me in this sentiment, inspiring me with new pride? It is YOUR WORK ABOUT THE "FLYING DUTCHMAN." In this series of articles I have once more clearly recognized myself, and have come to the conclusion that we have nothing in common with this world. WHO DID EVER UNDERSTAND ME? You, and no one else. Who understands YOU? I, and no one else. Be sure of it. You, for the first and only time, have disclosed to me the joy of being wholly understood. My being has passed into yours; not a fibre, not the gentlest tremor of my heart, remains that you have not felt with me. But I also see that THIS ALONE means being really understood, while all else is misunderstanding and barren error. What do I want more after having experienced this? What do you want of me after having experienced this with me? Let the tear of a beloved woman mingle with this joy, and what else can we desire? Do not let us desecrate our own selves. Let us look upon the world through the medium of contempt alone. It is worth nothing else; to found any hope on it would be deceiving our own hearts; it is BAD, BAD, THOROUGHLY BAD: only the heart of a FRIEND, the tears of a woman, can dispel its curse. We do not respect the world. Its honour, its glory, or by whatever name its shams may be called, are nothing to us. It belongs to Alberich, to no one else. Let it perish! I have said enough; you now know my sentiment, which is not a momentary emotion, but as firm and solid as adamant. That sentiment alone gives me strength to drag on the burden of life. But I must henceforth cling to it inexorably. I have a deadly hatred of all APPEARANCE, of all hope, for it is self-deception. But I will work; you shall have my scores; they will belong to us, to no one else. That is enough. You have the "Rhinegold," have you not? I have got to the second act of the "Valkyrie": Wotan and Fricka. I shall succeed, you will see.

Farewell.

Are you going to write to my wife?

My cordial remembrances!

(What the other people write I cannot bear to read any longer. I only read your "Dutchman" article; that is the reward, the pride, of my life.)

Farewell.

Your

R. W.

166.

Zurich, September 16th, 1854

Do you know how I can manage to arrange some concerts at Brussels and perhaps two Dutch towns, such as I gave last year at Zurich, and do you think that by such an undertaking I might make 10,000 francs in cash? Can you make arrangements so that my offer may be readily met, and that my programme may be translated into French and Dutch? If you can answer these questions satisfactorily, kindly take the matter in hand as soon as possible. I must earn money at once. No theatre has asked for my operas; nothing is stirring; I seem to be quite forgotten. If I could bring back money from Belgium and Holland, I might probably resume my work. For the present all music has been laid aside.

Your medallion is very beautiful. Many thanks. I care for nothing else, and for good reasons.

Always your faithful

Richard 167.

DEAREST FRANZ,

My wife is going to Germany, in the first instance on a visit to her parents. At present she is with Alwine Frommann, Berlin (10, Linden). In a week's time at the latest she will be in Leipzig (at A.'s, Windmuhlengasse). From there she will return via Frankfort. If she could hear one of my operas--"Lohengrin" of course in preference--at Weimar, she would like to stop a day there. If you can manage this, kindly write to her at Berlin or Leipzig, or, in case you can let me know BY RETURN, write to ME at Zurich, so that I can advise her in time.

From H. you will have in a few days the score of "Rhinegold", which I sent to him in separate pieces for the purpose of having a copy made at Dresden. But as I have recently finished a clean copy myself, I cannot bear the thought that the work should not yet be in YOUR HANDS. I did not want to let you have the fragments, for I consider it an important and significant event to place the WHOLE in your hands. Keep it for a month, to have a look at it occasionally; after that I shall ask you to return it for a time, so as to get the complete copy done.

My best love to Daniel, the foolish boy.

I write nothing else, either about myself or about your article. If I once began about these two things, I should not know where to stop. It is a great pity that I did not see you this year. Altogether I feel so boundlessly miserable that I begin to despise myself for bearing this misery. Enough. Farewell.

The worker in plaster-of-Paris has not yet returned your medallion; the margin was a little damaged. Why do you keep the "Indian fairy tale" to yourself? I have plenty of prosaic things around me, and could find a place for it.

My best remembrances to the Princess.

Your

RICHARD.

ZURICH, September 29th, 1854.

168.

DEAR FRANZ,

I begin to find out more and more that you are in reality a great philosopher, while I appear to myself a hare-brained fellow. Apart from slowly progressing with my music, I have of late occupied myself exclusively with a man who has come like a gift from heaven, although only a literary one, into my solitude. This is Arthur Schopenhauer, the greatest philosopher since Kant, whose thoughts, as he himself expresses it, he has thought out to the end. The German professors ignored him very prudently for forty years; but recently, to the disgrace of Germany, he has been discovered by an English critic. All the Hegels, etc., are charlatans by the side of him. His chief idea, the final negation of the desire of life, is terribly serious, but it shows the only salvation possible. To me of course that thought was not new, and it can indeed be conceived by no one in whom it did not pre- exist, but this philosopher was the first to place it clearly before me. If I think of the storm of my heart, the terrible tenacity with which, against my desire, it used to cling to the hope of life, and if even now I feel this hurricane within me, I have at least found a quietus which in wakeful nights helps me to sleep. This is the genuine, ardent longing for death, for absolute unconsciousness, total non-existence; freedom from all dreams is our only final salvation.

In this I have discovered a curious coincidence with your thoughts; and although you express them differently, being religious, I know that you mean exactly the same thing. How profound you are! In your article about the "Dutchman" you have struck me with the force of lightning. While I read Schopenhauer I was with you, only you did not know it. In this manner I ripen more and more. I only play with art to pass the time. In what manner I try to amuse myself you will see from the enclosed sheet.

For the sake of that most beautiful of my life-dreams "Young Siegfried," I shall have to finish the "Nibelungen" pieces after all; the "Valkyrie" has taken so much out of me that I must indulge in this pleasure; I have got as far as the second half of the last act. The whole will not be finished till 1856; and in 1858, the tenth year of my Hegira, the performance may take place, if at all. As I have never in life felt the real bliss of love, I must erect a monument to the most beautiful of all my dreams, in which, from beginning to end, that love shall be thoroughly satiated. I have in my head "Tristan and Isolde," the simplest but most full-blooded musical conception; with the "black flag" which floats at the end of it I shall cover myself to die.

When you have had enough of "Rhinegold," send it to Chorusmaster Fischer at Dresden, instructing him in my name to give it to the copyist Wolfel, so that he may finish the copy which he has begun. Your cheering words about the "Rhinegold" were splendid, and it has really turned out well. I hope there will be enough counterpoint in it to please Raff. My anxiety as to this troubles me very much.

Is M. ill? How can I do anything to help her? She should come in the summer to Seelisberg, on the lake of Lucerne. It is the dearest discovery I have made in Switzerland; up there all is so joyful, so beautiful, that I long to return--to die there.

There we must meet next summer; I mean to write "Young Siegfried" there, and you must assist me. Perhaps I shall assist you too. How full my heart is when I think of it! Many thanks to the Princess; at her desire, I send the enclosed autograph. Nothing about business! What do we care about such miserable things? When shall I see your symphonic poems, your "Faust?"

Farewell, my Franz.

169.

Brynhild sleeps; I am, alas! still awake.

Today I was asked, on the part of the Philharmonic Society of London, whether I should be inclined to conduct its concerts this year. I asked in return, (1) Have they got a second conductor for the commonplace things? and (2) Will the orchestra have as many rehearsals as I may consider necessary? If they satisfy me as to all this, shall I accept then? If I could make a little money without disgrace, I should be pleased enough. Write to me at once what you think of this.

How are you otherwise? 170

First of all, dearest friend, my best wishes for the new year 1855! May it turn out luckier for us than its predecessors have been.

I have permitted myself a little indiscretion in Brendel's paper, and have written for the specimen number of the journal (which is going to have a new publisher), as well as for the first number of the new year, a few columns about your "Rhinegold." I hope you will not be angry with me. My intention was good, and it will do no harm to draw a little public attention to the matter. The score I shall one of these days send to Fischer at Dresden, according to your instructions.

The offer of the Philharmonic Society is very acceptable, and your friends will be pleased with it. You do not say whether it is the Old Philharmonic Society or the New Philharmonic Society which has invited you. The latter Berlioz conducted for one or two seasons, in conjunction with Dr. Wylde, a protege of one of the chief shareholders of that Society, whose name I forget. In both Societies you will find a numerous orchestra and ample materials. You will know how to bring life into them and to do something extraordinary. If I can possibly get away from here, I shall perhaps visit you in London during the season. In the meantime let me know something more about this Philharmonic business, which will probably turn out to your satisfaction. I recommend you, by your leave, some caution, and the tedious but useful method of waiting.

I have heard nothing from Berlin, and shall write to Alwine Frommann before long. Our theatre will not be able to perform your works for several months to come. Frau von Milde is in interesting circumstances, and cannot appear before the middle of April, and our public would tolerate no other Elizabeth, Elsa, or Senta. Besides this, our first tenor has lost his voice, and will be replaced next month by C., who sang "Tannhauser" here in November on trial.

I expect Berlioz about the middle of February. Do you know the score of his "Damnation de Faust?"

My "Faust" symphony is finished. There are three movements: "Faust," "Gretchen," and "Mephistopheles." I shall bring it to you at Zurich next summer.

Remember me to your wife, and continue to love

Your

F. L.

January 1st, 1855.

The Princess sends her thanks and congratulations.

171.

DEAR FRANZ,

I am able today to send you particulars about London. Mr. Anderson, treasurer of the Philharmonic Society and conductor of the Queen's band, came specially to Zurich to arrange the matter with me. I did not like the idea much, for it is not my vocation to go to London and conduct Philharmonic concerts, not even for the purpose of producing some of my compositions, as is their wish. I have written nothing for concerts. On the other hand, I felt distinctly that it was necessary for me to turn my back once for all upon every hope and every desire of taking an active part in our own artistic life, and for that reason I accepted the hand held out to me.

London is the only place in the world where I can make it possible to produce "Lohengrin" myself while the kings and princes of Germany have something else to do than grant me my amnesty. It would please me very much if I could induce the English people next year to get up a splendid German opera with my works, patronised by the court. I admit that my best introduction for that purpose will be my appointment as conductor of the Philharmonic (THE OLD), and so I consented at last to the sale of myself, although I fetched a very low price: 200 pounds for four months. I shall be in London at the beginning of March to conduct eight concerts, the first of which takes place March 12th, and the last June 25th. At the beginning of July I shall be at Seelisberg. It would be splendid if you could visit me in London; in any case I must produce something of yours there. Consider this.

Do not forget Joachim; when I am once in London, I can easily arrange the matter.

It is splendid that you have finished "Faust," and you may imagine that I am most anxious to see it; on the other hand, it is a pity that you will not show it me sooner. At the same time, I shall be glad to go through it WITH YOU at the piano, and to make its acquaintance in that way, seeing that my attendance at a good performance under your direction is for the present out of the question. The vivid idea which you know how to convey cannot even approximately be replaced by anything else; and I am more than ever intent upon getting the right impression from the first, for I greatly distrust acquaintances made by means of the abstract notes.

It is an absurd coincidence that just at this time I have been taken with a desire to remodel my old "Faust" overture. I have made an entirely new score, have rewritten the instrumentation throughout, have made many changes, and have given more expansion and importance to the middle portion (second motive). I shall give it in a few days at a concert here, under the title of "A 'Faust' Overture." The motto will be--

"Der Gott, der mir im Busen wohnt, Kann tief mein Innerstes erregen; Der uber allen meinen Kraften thront, Er kann nach aussen nichts bewegen; Und so ist mir das Dasein eine Last, Der Tod erwunscht, das Leben mir verhasst!"

but I shall not publish it in any case.

I was at first startled at your new year's article, but soon perceived that here again I am indebted to your ever-increasing sympathy. If, however, you represent my work as something colossal, you mistake, in my opinion, the standard of measurement; to me our artistic publicity, the spirit of our means of representation, etc., appear to be very small and miserable, while my work is just in accordance with ordinary human proportions, and appears gigantic only when we try to confine it to those unworthy conditions. When therefore we call our plan chimaeric and eccentric, we in reality flatter the actual worthlessness of our artistic publicity, and in a manner mark it as the just and rational measure. We should not give that wrong impression to people. Every one of your letters is worth to me gold, and more, but ANSWERS in the proper sense I scarcely ever receive from you, and you treat many of my questions as if they had never been asked. Instead of that you always give me something new; that is splendid, but an answer also would sometimes be useful.

Well, let me hear something good of you soon, and in London let me SEE you. I shall take my work with me, and hope to finish the instrumentation of the "Valkyrie" there.

Adieu, dearest Franz.

How are you? Best remembrances from my wife and many greetings from me to you all.

Your

R. W.

ZURICH, January 19th, 1855.

172.

DEAREST RICHARD,

The London Philharmonic comes in very aptly, and I am delighted. As lately as six months ago people used to shake their heads, and some of them even hissed, at the performance of the "Tannhauser" overture, conducted by Costa. Klindworth and Remeny were almost the only ones who had the courage to applaud and to beard the Philistines who had made their nests of old in the Philharmonic. Well, it will now assume a different tone, and you will revivify old England and the Old Philharmonic. I commend to you Klindworth, a Wagnerian DE LA VEILLE. He is an excellent musician, who formerly acted as conductor at Hanover, and there gave a performance of the "Prophet" at the Tivoli Theatre, of which the newspapers were full some years ago. He is also a splendid pianist, who studied eighteen months with me at Weymar, and you must allow me to send Klindworth a few lines of introduction to you. As far as I know, there is in London no pianist like him; but, on account of his determined and open sympathy with the so-called "music of the future," he has placed himself in a somewhat awkward position towards the Philistines and handicraftsmen there.

I was present at the first performance of "Tannhauser" at Gotha. Capellmeister Lampert had taken much trouble, as had also Beer (Tannhauser), and the performance was, comparatively speaking, very satisfactory. The musical part is better with us, but it is different with the dresses and scenery, which are much more tasteful at Gotha than at Weymar. I have spoken very strongly on that point here; and as my prayers and admonitions in this respect have so far been of little avail, I am determined not to conduct "Tannhauser" and "Lohengrin" again until the necessary improvements in the scenery have been made. This negative measure, which I had kept in reserve, will probably be effective. In the meantime our opera remains in a stagnant condition. Since the last performance of "Tannhduser" (December 10th), I have not been at my desk, neither shall I conduct the festival performance of "Belisario" on February 16th. Nothing can be done till after the confinement of Frau Milde.

APROPOS, what do you think of Meffert, the tenor? Would he be any good to us, and how old is he? Write to me about this.

You accuse me in your last letter of rarely giving you an answer. This alludes, I presume, to two things: Berlin and Dresden. Alas! alas! I cannot report from either place what I should wish and, in spite of all, still hope to report. With wranglings and trifles I do not care to trouble you.

Stop; one thing I forgot to write to you: your "Tristan" is a splendid idea; it may become a glorious work. Do not abandon it.

You were quite right in arranging a new score of your "Faust" overture. If you have succeeded in making the middle part a little more pliable, this work, significant as it was before, must have gained considerably. Be kind enough to have a copy made, and send it me AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. There will probably be some orchestral concerts here, and I should like to give this overture at the end of February.