Chapter 24

Aaron, lofty, inspired Abel, vanity Abelard, noble Abiathar, sire of plenty Abijah, child of God Abijam, father of the sea Abimelech, king's father Abner, father of light Abraham, sire of many Abram, elevated father Absalom, father of peace Achilles, without lips Adam, red earth Adin, tender, delicate Adolphus, noble wolf Adrian, rich or wealthy Aeneas, praise Ahaz, visionary Alan, cheerful Alaric, noble ruler Alban, white Alberic, elf king, or all rich Albert, nobly, bright Aleuin, hall friend Aldebert, nobly bright Aldhelm, noble helmet Alexander, helper of men Alexis, helper Alfred, good counseller Algernon, with whiskers Alick, helper of men Allan (or Allen), cheerful Almeric, work ruler Alphonso, eager, willing Alphin, elf Amadas, husbandman Amasa, a burden Ambrose, immortal, divine Amos, a burden Andrew, manly, valiant Angus, excellent virtue Anselm, divine helmet Anstice, resurrection Anthony, inestimable Antony, inestimable Appolos, of Apollo Aquila, eagle Archibald, powerful, bold Aristides, son of the best Arkles, noble fame Arnold, strong as an eagle Artemus, gift of Diana Arth, high Arthur, high, noble Asa, physician or healer Ascelin, servant Asher, blessed, fortunate Ashur, black or blackness Athanasius, undying Athelstan, noble stone Athelwold, noble power Aubrey, ruler of spirits Audrey, noble threatener Augustin, venerable Augustus, majestic Aureilus, golden Austin, venerable Aymar, work ruler Bab, stranger Baldie, sacred prince Baldred, prince council Baldric, prince ruler Baldwin, bold friend Banquo, white Baptist, baptiser Barak, lightning Bardolf, bright helper Barnabas, son of consolation Barnard, bold as a bear Barry, looking bright Bartholomew, warlike son Barthram, bright raven Bartley, son of furrows Bartram, bright raven Barzillai, son of iron Basil, kingly Bat, son of furrows Beavis, beautiful Ben, son of the right hand Benedict, blessed Benjamin, same as Ben Bennet, blessed Benoni, son of sorrow Berenger, bear spear Beriah, son of evil Bernard, bold as a bear Bertram, bright raven Bertran, fair and pure Blase (or Blaze), babbler Bohemond, God's love Boniface, well-doer Botolph, ruling wolf Boyd, yellow Brithric, bright king Brockwell, champion Bruno, brown Brush, immortal Bryan, strong Cadoe, war Cadogan, war Cadwallader, a general Caesar, hairy Cain, possession Caleb, dog Calvin, bald Canute, hill Caradoc, beloved Carmichael, Michael's friend Caswallon, hating lord Cecil, blind Charinas, grace Charles, noble spirited Christian, of Christ Christopher, Christ bearer Chrysostom, gold mouth Clarence, illustrious Claude, lame Clement, merciful gentle Colbert, cool, bright Colborn, black bear Colin, dove Colomb, dove Conachar, strong help Coniah, appointed Conmor, strength great Connal, chief's courage Connor, slaughter hound Conrad, able speed Constant, firm, faithful Constantine, firm Cornelius, horn Cradock, beloved Crispin, curly-haired Cuthbert, noted splendour Cymbeline, lord of the sun Cyprian, of Cyprus Cyril, lordly Cyrus, the sun Dan, a judge Daniel, the judging God Darcy, dark Darius, king, preserver David, beloved, the darling Dennis, of Dionysos Derrick, people's wealth Dick, firm ruler Didymus, twin Diggory, the almost lost Dionysius, of Dionysos Dodd, of the people Dominic, Sunday child Donald, proud chief Dougal, black stranger Douglas, dark grey Dudley, people's ruler Duff, black Dugold, black stranger Duncan, brown chief Ebenezer, stone of help Edgar, protector of wealth Edmund, rich protection Edward, happy keeper Edwin, rich friend Egbert, formidably bright Eldred, fierce in battle Eli, a foster son Elias, God the Lord Elihu, He is my God Elijah, God the Lord Elisha, God the Saviour Elizur, God my rock Ellis, God the Lord Emanuel, God with us Emilius, work Enoch, dedicated Enos, mortal man Ephriam, very fruitful Erasmus, amiable, lovely Erastus, lovely, amiable Eric, era king, rich Ernest, serious Esaias, salvation of God Esau, covered with hair Esbert, bright for ever Esdras, rising of light Etheired, noble council Eugene, well-born Eusebius, pious Eustace, healthy, strong Evan, young warrior Everard, strong as a boar Ezekiel, strength of God Ezra, rising of light Farquhar, manly Feargus, man of strength Felim, ever good Felix, happy, prosperous Ferdinand, brave Fergus, man's strength Fernando, brave Festus, joyful Fingal, white stranger Flavian, yellow Francis, free, liberal Frank, free Franklin, free Frederic, peaceful ruler Frewen, free friend Fulbert, bright resolution Faulk, people's guard Gabriel, hero of God Gaius, rejoiced Gamaliel, gift of God Garratt, spear firm Gavin, hawk of battle Geoffrey, God's peace George, husbandman Gerald, spear power Germaine, German Gervas, war eagerness Gibbon, bright pledge Gideon, destroyer Gilbert, bright as gold Gilchrist, servant of Christ Giles, a kid Gillespie, bishop's servant Gillies, servant of Jesus Gisborn, pledge bearer Goddard, pious, virtuous Gedfrey, God's peace Godric, divine king Godwin, divine friend Greg, fierce Gregory, watchful Griffith, strong-faithed Grimbald, self-controlled Gustavus, a warrior Guy, a leader Hadassah, myrtle Halbert, bright stone Hamlyn, home Hanan, grace Hannibal, grace of Baal Harold, a champion Harry, home rule Harvey, bitter Haymon, home Heber, a companion Hector, a defender Henry, a rich lord Herbert, bright warrior Hercules, lordly fame Hereward, sword guardian Herman, a warrior Herodias, of a hero Herodotus, noble gift Hezekiah, strength of God Hilary, cheerful Hildebert, a nobleman Hildebrand, a warbrand Hiram, most noble Hodge, spear of fame Homer, a pledge Horace, worthy of love Horatio, worthy of love Hoshea, salvation Hubbard, mind bright Hubert, mind bright Hugh, mind Hugo, mind Humphrey, home peace Ian, grace of God Ignatius, fiery Immanuel, God with us Increase, more faith Ingram, Ing's raven Inigo, fiery Innocent, harmless Ira, watchful Isaac, laughter Issiah, salvation of God Israel, soldier of God Ivan, gift of God Ives, archer Izaak, laughter Jabez, sorrow Jacob, supplanter James, superior Japhet, extender Jarratt, spear firm Jason, healer Jasper, treasure master Jeffrey, good peace Jehu, the Lord is he Jenkin, Grace of God Jeremiah, exalted of God Jerome, holy name Jervis, spear war Jesse, wealth Joachim, God will judge Joab, son of God Job, persecuted Joel, strong-willed John, the Lord's grace Jonah (or Jonas), dove Jonathan, gift of God Jordan, descender Joscelin, just Joseph, addition Joshua, a Saviour Josiah, fire of God Judah, praised Julian, downy bearded Julius, downy bearded Justin, just Justus, just Kay, rejoicing Kenelm, a defender Kenneth, a leader Laban, white Lachlan, warlike Lambert, illustrious Lancelot, servant Laurence, laurel crowned Lawrence, laurel crowned Lazarus, God will help Leander, lion-hearted Lear, sea Leonard, lion-strong Leopold, bold for men Levi, adhesion Lewis, people's refuge Lionel, lion Llawellyn, lightning Lloyd, grey Lodowic, famed piety Lorenzo, laurel crowned Lot, lion Lothar, glorious warrior Lothario, great warrior Louis, famous holiness Lubin, love friend Lucian, light Ludovic, bold warrior Luke, light Luther, glorious warrior Maddox, beneficent Madoc, beneficent Magnus, great Malachi, angel of God Malcom, of Colbumia Manfred, mighty peace Manual, God with us Marcus, of Mars, a hammer Mark, warlike Marmaduke, sea leader Martin, great, martial Martyn, great, martial Matthew, gift of God Matthias, gift of God Maurice, dark coloured Maynard, great firmness Meredith, sea protector Merlin, sea hill Michael, who is like God Miles, crusher Moore, great Morgan, seaman Morris, sea warrior Moses, drawn from water Napoleon, forest king Narcissus, daffodil Nathan, a gift Nathanael, gift of God Nero, strength, fortitude Nicodemus, conqueror Nicholas, conquered Nicol, conquered Niel, brave, dark Niell, brave Nigel, black Noah, rest, comfort Noel, Christmas-born Norman, a Northman Obadiah, servant of God Octavius, the eighth-born Odo, rich Olave, ancestor's relic Oliver, olive tree Orlando, fame of the land Orson, dear Osbert, divinely bright Osborn, divine bear Oscar, bounding warrior Osfred, divine peace Oslaf, divine legacy Osmond, divine perfection Osric, divine rule Oswald, divine power Osyth, young warrior Palmerin, sign of victory Pancras, all-ruler Pascoe, Easter child Passion, suffering Patrick, noble Paul, little Payne, countryman Percival, holy cup-bearer Peregrine, stranger Peter, stone Phelim, good. Philadelphius, brotherly Phillip, lover of horses Phineas, mouth of brass Pius, pious Pierce (or Piers), stone Pilgrim, traveller Polycarp, much fruit Pompey, of Pompeii Quentin, fifth-born Ralph, help, counsel Ranald, judging power Randal, house wolf Raphael, healing of God Ravelin, council wolf Raymond, wise protector Raymund, quiet peace Rayner, judge warrior Redmond, counsel Redwald, council, power Reginald, judging power Renfred, peace, judgement Restyn, restored to Reuben, behold a son Reynard, firm judge Reynold, judging power Richard, stern king Robert, bright in fame Roderick, famous king Rodolph, wolf of fame Rodolphus, famous wolf Roger, spear of fame Roland, fame of the land Rollo, wolf of fame Rolph, wolf of fame Ronan, seal Ronald, judge power Roswald, horse power Rowland, fame of the land Roy, red Rufus, red-haired Rupert, bright fame Sampson, splendid sun Samuel, asked of God Saul, longed for Saunders, helper of men Sayer, conquering army Seabert, bright victory Seaforth, peace victory Seaward, defender Sebastian, venerable Seth, appointed Shawn, grace of God Sholto, sower Sibbald, conquering Sigismund, conquering Silas, living in a wood Sim, obedient Simeon, obedient Simon, obedient Solomon, peaceable Stephen, crown Swain, youth Swithun, strong friend Sylvanus, god of the wood Sylvester, a rustic Tancard, grateful guard Tancred, grateful speech Teague, poet Terence, tender Thaddaeus, praise Theobald, people's prince Theodore, divine gift Theodosius, genius of God Theodric, people's ruler Theodoric, people's ruler Theophilus, friend of God Thias, gift of God Thomas, a twin Thorold, Thor's power Thurstan, Thor's jewel Tibal, people's prince Tiernan, kingly Timothy, God-fearing Titus, safe Tobias, goodness of God Tom, a twin Tristram, grave, sad Tudor, divine gift Turgar, Thor's spear Tybalt, people's prince Ulfric, wolf ruler Ulick, mind, reward Ulysses, a hater Urban, of the town Uriah, light of God Uric, noble ruler Valentine, healthy, strong Victor, conqueror Vincent, conquering Virgil, flourishing Vivian, lively Vortigern, great king Vyvyan, living Waldemar, powerful fame Walstan, slaughter stone Walter, powerful warrior Warner, protector Warren, protecting friend Water, powerful warrior Wattles, powerful warrior Wawyn, hawk of battle Wayland, artful Wenceslaus, crown, glory Wilfred, resolute peace Wilfrith, resolute peace Willfroy, resolute peace William, protector Willibald, much power Wilmot, resolute mood Winifred, friend of peace Wulstan, comely Yestin, just Zachariah, man of God Zaccheus, pure, clean Zebulon, dwelling Zechariah, man of God Zedekiah, justice of God Zephaniah, secret of God Zerah, rising of light Zoroaster, gold star

LOOK AND SEE THE MEANING OF YOUR OWN NAME

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One Hundred Little Ladies Showing the 24 various modes by which they came into Cole's Book Arcade

One hundred _Little_ ladies, All clever, learned and trained, Half _WALKED_ in-to Cole's Book Arcade, And fifty then remained.

Fifty _Thoughtful_ little ladies, All lovers of book-lore, Ten _RAN_ in-to Cole's Book Arcade, And there remained two-score.

Forty _Pretty_ ladies, Racing but not flirty, Ten _RACED_ in-to Cole's Book Arcade, An then there were but thirty.

Thirty _Famous_ ladies, Swimming in the Plenty. Ten _SWAM_ in-to Cole's Book Arcade, And then there were but twenty.

Twenty _Wealthy_ ladies, Jumping in velveteen, One _JUMPED_ in-to Cole's Book Arcade, And then there were nineteen.

Nineteen _Noble_ ladies, Going out a-skating, One _SKATED_ in-to Cole's Book Arcade, And then there were but eighteen.

Eighteen _Royal_ ladies, All dancing with the Queen, On _Danced_ in-to Cole's Book Arcade, And there were seventeen.

Seventeen _Grand_ ladies, Driving a bullock team, One _DROVE_ in-to Cole's Book Arcade, And then there were sixteen.

Sixteen _Gentle_ ladies, All hopping on the green, One _HOPPED_ in-to Cole's Book Arcade, And then there were fifteen.

Fifteen _Modest_ ladies, All creeping out unseen, One _CREPT_ in-to Cole's Book Arcade, And then there were fourteen.

Fourteen _Handsome_ ladies, All floating down a stream, One _FLOATED_ in-to Cole's Book Arcade, And then there were thirteen.

Thirteen _Lovely_ ladies, All leaping out to delve, One _LEAPED_ in-to Cole's Book Arcade, And then there were but twelve.

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Twelve fine _Blooming_ ladies, Flitting out for leaven, One _FLITTED_ in-to Cole's Book Arcade, And then there were eleven.

Eleven _Frightened_ ladies, Dodging a lion when-- One _DODGED_ in-to Cole's Book Arcade, And then there were but ten.

Ten most _Charming_ ladies, All skipping in a line, One _SKIPPED_ in-to Cole's Book Arcade, And then there were but nine.

Nine most _Splendid_ ladies, All swinging on a gate, One _SWUNG_ in-to Cole's Book Arcade, And then there were but eight.

Eight most _Superb_ ladies, Flying under heaven, One _FLEW_ in-to Cole's Book Arcade, And then there were but seven.

Seven _English_ ladies, All tripping out for sticks, One _TRIPPED_ in-to Cole's Book Arcade, And then there were but six.

Six fine _Irish_ ladies, All going for a dive, One _DIVED_ in-to Cole's Book Arcade, And then there were but five.

Five fine _Scottish_ ladies, All sailing to explore, One _SAILED_ in-to Cole's Book Arcade, And then there were but four.

Four fine _Yellow_ ladies, All steaming on the sea, One _STEAMED_ in-to Cole's Book Arcade, And then there were but three.

Three fine _Jet-black_ ladies, All riding on a moo, One _RODE_ in-to Cole's Book Arcade, And then there were but two.

Two most _Comic_ ladies, Sliding about for fun, One _SLID_ in-to Cole's Book Arcade, And then there was but one.

One most _Frisky_ lady, The nicest, last, and best, She _BOUNCED_ in-to Cole's Book Arcade, And read books with the rest.

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PROCLAMATION BY AUTHORITY.

Be it known unto all of you that to find your own portrait and the fashion of your hat or bonnet, your Christian name and the Alphabet are used.

The Alphabet is divided into four parts for the second letter of each person's name as follows:--The letters A B C D E F belong to No. 1 portrait in each row, and in the case of the first of the letter A include such names as Abigail, Ada, Aaron, Abraham, Adolphus. The letters G H I J K L belong to the second portrait in each row, and in the case of the second portrait, of the letter A include such name as Agnes, Alice, Ahaz, Alfred. The letters M N O P Q R belong to the third portrait of each row, and in the case of the letter A include such names as Amy, Anna, Arabella, Amos, Andrew, Arthur. The letters S T U V W X Y Z belong to the fourth portrait in each row, and in the case of the letter A include such names as Athalia, Augusta, Asa, Augusta. The same rule is followed with each letter of the Alphabet: for instance, the first portrait in the row B belongs to such names as Barbara, Bessie, Bartholomew, Benjamin, and so on throughout the whole collection of portraits.

If a woman is looking for her future husband, she must find the number of her own portrait and then the corresponding number amongst the men's, and THAT IS TO BE HER HUSBAND: for instance, if her own portrait is No. 27, No. 27 amongst the men's is the portrait of her future darling. The same rule is to be followed by the men. If a man's portrait is No. 93, No. 93 amongst the ladies' IS TO BE HIS WIFE, his own future angel.

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If the persons who consult this oracle are single, the sweetheart that falls to their lot will be their first husband or wife, and if they are married it will be their second husband or wife, and if they have been married twice, it will be their third one, and so on up to 144 times of being married; and after that no one will be allowed to consult this oracle, look at it, speak of it, or even think about it, such objectionable persons being entirely excluded from its benefits.

Persons who consult this oracle must accept the husband or wife that falls to their lot just the same as if they married them in the usual way, but if dissatisfied on account of ugliness, dress, or any other cause the consulter, by doing penance in the shape of a pilgrimage to a certain place in the exact centre of the world and paying a small sum, can obtain a DIVORCE.

The place to which the pilgrimage is to be made is Cole's Book Arcade, Bourke Street, Melbourne, Australia, where they must buy a book of some kind, and that act DIVORCES them at once.

Bashful persons need not mention their pilgrimage to the Book Arcade, when they purchase the book, unless they choose.

Anyone having obtained a DIVORCE will be allowed to choose out of 9 other portraits. If the number of the portrait that fell to their lot was 8, they can choose any other number ending with 8, as 18, 28, 38, 48, 58, 68, 78, 88 and 98, of if their first number was 65 they can choose from 5, 15, 25, 35, 45, 55, 75, 85, 95 and so on; whatever their number was, they may choose from the corresponding figures throughout the table.

If, after making a choice out of the 9 portraits, anyone is still dissatisfied, by making 10 pilgrimages to the Book Arcade, or by buying and giving away 10 copies of this Funny Picture Book, they can claim the indulgence of a GRAND DIVORCE and choose which they like out of the whole 104 portraits.

Given under our Royal hand and Seal at the Palace of the Book Arcade, this 21st day of November, 1890.--COLE, REX.

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Riddles And Catches

Why are cowardly soldiers like butter? Because they run when exposed to fire.

Why is hot bread like a caterpillar? Because it's the grub that makes the butter fly.

Why are ripe potatoes in the ground like thieves? Because they ought to be taken up.

Why is an acquitted prisoner like a gun? Because he is taken up, charged, and then let off.

Why is a beggar like a barrister? Because he pleads for his daily bread.

Why are lawyers like scissors? Because they never cut each other, but only what is placed between them.

Why is a newspaper like an army? Because it has leaders, columns, and reviews.

Why is a prosy story-teller like a railway tunnel? Because he is a great bore.

Why is a dun like a woodcock? Because he bores with his bill.

Why is grass like a mouse? Because the cat'll (cattle) eat it.

Why is the sun like a good loaf? Because it's light when it rises.

Why is a plum-cake like the ocean? Because it contains many curra(e)nts.

Why are tears like potatoes? Because they spring from the eyes.

Why is Queen Victoria like a hat? Because they both have crowns.

What is the difference between a steep hill and a large pill? One is hard to get up, the other is hard to get down.

What is the difference between a pastry-cook and a billsticker? One puffs up paste, the other pastes up puffs.

What is the difference between an auction and seasickness? One is the sale of effects and the other is the effects of a sail.

Why is a photographic album like a drainer on a bar counter? Because it is often a receptacle for empty mugs.

Why is an interesting book like a toper's nose? Because it is read (red) to the end.

What relation is your uncle's brother to you, if he is not your uncle? Your father.

What is the best throw of the dice? To throw them away.

What tree clothes half the world?--Cotton. What tree gives milk? The cow tree. What tree is a city in Ireland?--Cork. What plant is a letter of the alphabet?--The Tea (T). What kind of bat flies without wings?--A brickbat.

Why is a dog biting his own tail like a good manager? Because he makes both ends meet.

Why is a dog's tail like the pith of a tree? Because it's the farthest from the bark.

Why does a dog's tail resemble happiness? Because, run after it as he will, he cannot catch it.

If the Devil lost his tail, where should he go to find a new one? To a gin palace, for bad spirits are retailed there.

What key is hardest to turn?--A donkey.

Why is a whirlpool like a donkey? Because it is an eddy.

What is it that smells most when you go into a chemist's shop? Your nose.

Why does a donkey prefer thistles to corn? Because he's an ass.

Why is a lollypop like a horse? Because the more you lick it, the faster it goes.

Why is a well-trained horse like a benevolent man? Because it stops at the sound of woe.

I went to a wood and got it, I sat down to look for it, and brought it home because I could not find it-- A thorn in my foot.

Why is a naughty boy like a postage stamp? Because he is licked and put in the corner to make him stick to his letters.

What is the difference between twice twenty-eight and twice eight and twenty. Twenty; because twice twenty eight is fifty-six, and twice eight and twenty is thirty-six.

What grows less tired the more it works? A carriage wheel.

What is that which increases the more you take from it? A hole.

Why is a tight boot like an oak-tree? Because it produces a-corn.

Who killed one-fourth of the people in the world? Cain, when he killed Abel, there being then only four people in it.

Why is a retired milkman like the whale that swallowed Jonah? Because he took the profit out of the water.

Where was Moses when the candle went out? In the dark.

Why is your ear like a band of music? Because it has a drum in it.

Why are book-keepers like chickens? Because they have to scratch for a living.

Why is coffee like an axe with a dull edge? Because it must be ground before it is used.

Why is a red herring like a mackintosh? Because it keeps one dry all day.