Chapter 1

Produced by Brian McPherson

Cole's Funny Picture Book No. 1

Written And Compiled By E.W. Cole (1832-1918) First Published 1879 By Cole Publications, Melbourne, Australia. 73rd Edition Totalling 920,000 copies. [*]

Cole's Funny Picture Book No. 1

Or Family Amuser And Instructor; To Delight The Children And Make Home Happier; The Best Child's Picture Book In All The World.

It Contains Also Choice Riddles, Games and pieces of reading for Adults. Look through it yourself.

Long ago the Rainbow was a Sign it is said, Now 'tis the Sign of Cole's Book Arcade. So, when in the sky a bow is displayed, Be sure that you think of the Book Arcade. Cole's Book Arcade strange as it looks, Contains more than a million books. New and second-hand, common and rare, Can get most any book you want there.

[*] BIBLIOGRAPHICAL NOTE: The reprintings of this book since Cole's death in 1918 have involved very few changes, and in most cases it has been bibliographically misleading to term them "editions". Undoubtedly, somewhere in the past, the distinction between a "printing" and an "edition" has not been understood. However, with due cognisance of the irregularity, the practice of giving each reprint a new edition number accompanied by a running sales total is being maintained for statistical interest.

Edward William Cole

Born Woodchurch, Kent, England 4th January, 1832

Died Essendon, Victoria, Australia 16th December, 1918

[Page 1--Australia]

Australia Is The Best Country On Earth

Australia a Grand Country

I think that Australia, for it's size, is, all-round, the best country in the world. It's climate is pleasant and health-giving. It has no desolating blizzards, no frost bites, and few sunstrokes. In edible produce, for both size and quality, it stands very high, if not the highest. I have been in many lands, but never saw a country supply such a variety of products as Australia does--potatoes, onions, cabbages, carrots, peas, beans and scores of other vegetables in abundance. In fruits it produces apples, pears, plums, peaches, oranges, grapes, and Northern Australia also produces all the tropical fruits in abundance wherever cultivated. In corn Australia produces superior wheat, oats, barley, maize and all other kinds in abundance, especially when scientifically irrigated. As a milk, butter and meat country, it is one of the best in the world. It is the largest and best wool-producing country in the world. It contains the largest area in the world especially suitable for growing cotton, the most extensively-used clothing material. Flowers grow luxuriantly and beautifully whenever cultivated and watered. A few years ago when writing on the "White Australia" question, I stated that with high culture, water irrigation, and scientific irrigation, Australia was capable of supporting 400 millions of inhabitants. A high literary authority, in reviewing the book, remarked that this seemed like a "gross exaggeration"; but probably he had not thought so much on the subject as I had.

I will here concisely state the principle reasons for my opinion. The great want of Australia, to make it amazingly fruitful, is the complete conservation of water and it's scientific application to the soil. Water, warmth, and soil will grow anything in Australia, if rationally managed. Australia has abundance of water now running to waste. On thousands of house-roofs water enough is caught for the domestic use of the respective families. Over large areas of the country there are 30 inches of rainfall, and the average rainfall over vast areas is 24 inches, and could be made much greater by cultivation. Four-fifths of this water now runs to waste. Again surface-parched Australia has vast areas of underground water which only require to be tapped and brought to the surface, to irrigate and fertilise the soil.

Australia is also a country where timber grows well and fast, if planted in trenched ground and slightly irrigated. Hundreds of straight trees can be grown upon an acre of land if they are first planted thickly and some gradually thinned out. Many kinds of trees will grow upon very poor soil if they are properly planted and irrigated, as the bulk of their sustenance is derived from the air. One more remark about trees and their possibilities as food providers. Wherever any kind of tree will grow some kind of fruit tree will grow. There are hundreds of millions of gum trees growing in Australia. Where every one of these trees is, some kind of fruit tree would grow if properly planted and looked after.

Again, to utilise Australia to it's full extent the whole world should be sought through for the best plants and trees of every kind, and only the very best grown, and those in situations and soil best adapted for them.

One argument against Australia is that much of its surface is sandy, but experiments and developments in various countries show that the planting of marram grass, lupins, and other plants ties even the drifting sand together and gradually, through their decay, turns the sandy wastes into fertile soil. Besides, science can, in many other ways, utilise the elements in the air to enrich the soil.

Australia's Mineral Resources

It has been objected that in the above epitome no mention is made of the great mineral wealth of Australia. The reason is that minerals, exceedingly useful as they are in the arts, are not absolutely necessary (with the exception perhaps of iron) to the feeding, clothing, and housing of mankind. Vast multitudes have lived without them; but it may be remarked that Australia is a country very rich in minerals; some hold it the richest in the world. It possesses immense deposits of iron not yet utilised, and the most extensive gold-fields yet discovered. Australia and Tasmania have, according to the latest estimate of our Commonwealth Statistician, produced minerals to the value of £660,252,694--comprising in round numbers, Gold £474,000,000; Tin £24,000,000; and other kinds £8,000,000. The bulk of the above has been produced during the last 60 years, in a population rising from about 300,000 to 4,000,000 and it forecasts how vast the mineral-producing future of Australia is likely to be. Altogether Australia is a country as highly favoured by nature as any other of equal size upon earth, for the bountiful production of useful animals, vegetables, minerals, and men.

The Best Country On Earth--Unknown Australia

"'If we Australians took as much trouble to prepare for our summer as the Canadians take to forestall their winter, Australia would be THE MOST PROSPEROUS COUNTRY ON EARTH.'

The speaker was the Rev. A. R. Edgar, head of the Central Mission, Melbourne.

"'After circling the globe, then, you are still satisfied that Australia is not a bad country to live in?'

"'The best,' said Mr Edgar, emphatically. 'I have no hesitation in saying that Canada and America are not to be compared with Australia. Unfortunately, England doesn't know it. Australia herself doesn't half realise it, and as for America and Canada, they haven't the remotest ghost of a notion of it. In England they learn with regrettable slowness, and their knowledge is scanty indeed; but across the Atlantic the ignorance is deplorable. "Australia?" says the Canadian. "Oh yes! Let's see, that's the place where it's always droughty--yes, yes, to be sure, the place where y' can't get a drink of water." He laughs at the idea of Australia producing as much wool and wheat as Canada, and bluntly tells you there's no country on the face of the planet can grow wheat and wool like his. But the fact is, there isn't a bit of territory fit to compare with the Western District of Victoria, for example, and conditions are infinitely harder for the agriculturist than in Australia. Canada's western district is icebound in winter, and her eastern lands are strewn over with great boulders, between which the plough works laboriously in and out'."--From the "New Idea."

I often feel for the dweller in Canada; for notwithstanding his beautiful spring and autumn he has six months of ice and snow and freezing winds, and I feel selfishly grateful that my lot is cast in more genial Australia.

Let us well ponder Mr. Edgar's concise and forcible statement: "If we Australians took as much trouble to prepare for our summer as the Canadians take to forestall their winter, Australia would be the most prosperous country on earth."

This is quite true. The Canadian must thoughtfully and rationally prepare for his winter, or he would freeze and starve. We have no frigid climate to prepare against, but we have possible drought, and our first and greatest consideration should be the conservation of water for irrigation.

This water conservation is exceedingly important thing. Men do not think, and the waste is enormous. When the rain falls it runs into the gully, from the gully to the creek, from the creek to the river, from the river into the sea; and then in the dry season water is deplorably scarce.

I once asked a young squatter from the New South Wales side of the Murray "Have you got a garden?" He answered: "No: it is too dry up our way!" I said, "How do you get water for domestic purposes?" He answered, "We catch it off the roof; we catch it in 11 tanks and are never out of a supply." I asked, "How large an area have all your roofs put together?" He answered, "I think about 20 feet by 100 feet." This would be about a twentieth of an acre. Now just reflect! One acre of rainfall would supply, if caught, 20 establishments like that squatter's home, for the rain would fall fairly alike over that part of the country. A rainfall of 30 inches over an acre of ground measures about 680,000 gallons and weighs about 3000 tons, the bulk of which is allowed to run away every year!

A gentleman said to me the other day, "Since the water was brought to Coolgardie and Kalgoorlie, under Sir John Forrest's great scheme, they have very beautiful gardens right along the line of supply. Wherever the water touches the land the vegetation is splendid, and, what is more, the evaporation is bringing heavier rainfall." Of course, wherever cultivation and irrigation are carried on, more evaporation takes place, and, in most cases, causes additional rainfall.

When I affirmed that Australia was capable of supporting 400 millions of people I did not mean Australia as we now have it, but as it might be, and probably will be, when water is carefully conserved and its soil scientifically irrigated and cultivated.

E.W. Cole

[Page 2--Cole's Funny Picture Book]

[Page 3--Index]

This Is The Funniest Picture Book In The World For Children

If you search through the World you will not get a book that will so please a child, if you pay £100 or even £1000 for it. To parents, Grandparents, Uncles, Aunts, and Friends--Every Good Child should be given one of these Books for being Good. Every Bad Child should be given one to try to make it Good.

BABY RHYMES

Baby Going to Bed 4 Baby, Getting up 5 This Pig Went to Market 6 Baby Riding 6 Naughty Baby 7

LITTLE CHILDREN'S STORIES

Tom Thumb's Alphabet 8 Sing a Song-a-Sixpence 8 A Apple Pie 8 Captain Duck 8 Hey-Diddle-Diddle 9

GIRL LAND

Cry-Baby Belle 10 A Naughty Little Girl 10 Paulina Pry 10 Tearful Annie 10 Hattie's Birthday 11 Youth and Age 11 A Lost Child 11 Little Mary 11 Girl and Angel 11 Girl Who Wouldn't go to Bed 12 Girl That Beat Her Sister 12 The Sulky Girl 12 Girl Who Sucked Her Fingers 12 The Greedy Little Girl 12 Girl Who Played With Fire 12 The Vulgar Little Lady 12 Peggy Won't 13 The Wonderful Shadows 13 Little Bo-Peep 14 Pammy Was A Pretty Girl 14 The Little Husband 14 I'm Governess 14 Meddlesome Matty 15 Girl Who Spilled the Ink 15 Girl Who Was Always Tasting 15 Sally the Lazy Girl 15 Girl Who Wouldn't Comb Her Hair 15 The Nasty Cross Girls 15 Little Red Riding Hood 16 I'm Grandmama 16 The Babes in the Wood 16 Cinderella 17 The Three Bears 17 Bluebeard 17 My Girl 18 My Little Daughter's Shoes 18 The Old Cradle 18 A Little Goose 18 Girls 19 Girls Names 19 Vain Sarah 19 Several Kinds of Girls 19 Jumping Jennie 20 I Don't Care 20 Little Miss Meddlesome 20 Careless Matilda 20 Forty Little School Girls 21 Funny Monkeys 21 Tangle Pate 22 A Careless Girl 22 The Naughty Girl 22 Mopy Maria 22 Disobedient May 22 Sluttishness 22 Jane Who Bit Her Nails 22 Poking Fun 22 The Pin 23 Stupid Jane 23 Pouting Polly 23 Untidy Emily 23 Maidenhood 24 Girls That Are in Demand 24 Girls' Names 24 Name of Kate 24 Girl-Scolding Machine 25 Jenny Lee 26 Work Before Play 26 Lucy Grey 26 Mary Had a Little Lamb 26 We Are Seven 27 The poor But Blind Girl 27 Grace Darling 27 The Tidy Girl 27 Ruby Cole 28

BOY LAND

Vally Cole 29 Tom The Piper's Son 30 House That Jack Built 31 Simple Simon 31 Ten Little Niggers 31 Jack the Giant Killer 32 Jack and the Beanstalk 32 Hop-o-my-Thumb 33 Tom Thumb 33 Naughty Boys 34 Dirty Jack 35 Mischievous Fingers 35 Boy Stealing Apples 35 Playing With Fire 35 Wicked Willie 36 Rude, Bad, Naughty Boy 36 Little Chinky Chow 37 That Nice Boy 38 A Wicked Joking Boy 38 Jack the Glutton 39 Tom the Dainty Boy 39 A birds Nest Robber 39 A Cruel Boy 39 Boy Whipping Machine 40-41

DOLLY LAND

Puss's Doll 42 Pretty Doll 42 Dolly and I 43 Dolly's Broken Arm 43 Polly and Her Dolly 43 Singing to Dolly 44 My Dolly 44 Dolly's Asleep 44 Lost Dolly 45 Talking To Dolly 45 Darling Dolly 45 Ten Little Dollies 46 Washing-Day Troubles 47 New Tea Things 47 Doll Dress Making 48 Dolly Town 48 The Lost Doll 48 Dolly's Counterpane 48 Sewing For Dolly 48 My Little Doll Rose 48 The Wooden Doll 48 Buy My Dolls 48 Dolly's Doctor 49 Dolly's Broken Nose 49 The Dead Dolly 49 The Soldier Dolly 49 Christening Dolly 50 Maggie's Talk to Dolly 50 Minnie's Talk to Dolly 50 My Dolly 50 Dolly's Wedding 50 Grandmamma's Visit 51 Lucy's Dolls 51 The Doll Show 52 A Doll's Adventures 53 Story of a Doll 53 I'm Homesick Dolly Dear 54 A Thousand Names For Dollies and Babies 55, 56, 57

NAUGHTINESS LAND

Good Mamma 58 How They Made Up 58 Cross Patch 58 Sulky Sarah 58 A New Year's Gift 59 Angry Words 59 Love One Another 59 Anger 60 Girl That Beat Her Sister 60 Little Dick Snappy 60 Where Do You Live 61 Govern Your Temper 61 The Ragged Girl's Sunday 62 Foolish Fanny 62 Pride 63 Finery 63 A Fop 63 Greedy Ned 64 Greedy Girl 64 Greedy Richard 64 Story Of an Apple 64 The Plum Cake 65 The Glutton 65 Hoggish Henry 65 Selfishness 65 Truthful Dottie 66 False Alarms 66 Girl That Told A Lie 66 Idle Mary 67 Lazy Sal 67 The Work Bag 67 The Two Gardens 67 Doing Nothing 67 Lazy Sam 68 The Beggar Man 68 Lazyland 68 The Lazy Boy 69 The Sluggard 69 Idle Dicky and the Goat 69 Come and Go 69 The Cruel Boy 70 Story of Cruel Fred 70 The Worm 70 No One Will See Me 71 Boy and His Mother 71 Boys and the Apple Tree 72 Thou Shalt Not Steal 72 The Thief 72 The Thieves' Ladder 73

SANTA CLAUS LAND

Santa Claus Land 74 A Visit From St. Nicholas 75 What Santa Claus Brings 75 Little Mary 75 Christmas 75 Christmas Eve Adventure 76 Little Bennie 76 Old Santa Claus 77 Night Before Christmas 77 Annie and Willie's Prayer 78 Budd's Stocking 79 Christmas Morning 79 Nellie And Santa Claus 80 Hang Up Baby's Stocking 80

PLAY LAND

Rabbit on the Wall 81 Little Romp 81 Tired of Play 82 The Lost Playmate 82 In The Toy Shop 83 Playing Store 83 Neat Little Clara 83 Hide and Seek 83 Little Sailors 84 Come Out to Play 84 Mud Pies 84 Hay Making 84 Johnny the Stout 85 Training Time 86 Playtime 87 Romping 87 Nurse's Song 87 Swinging 88 Skating 88 The skipping Rope 88 The Baby's Debut 89

READING LAND

Reading 90 Mrs Grammar's Ball 90 Grammar in Rhyme 90 Reading Land 91

WRITING LAND

Little Flo's Letter 92 The First Letter 92 Baby's Letter to Uncle 92 Nell's Letter 92 Two Letters 92 Going to Write to Papa 93 Papa's Letter 93 Polly's Letter to Ben 94 The Sunday Fisherman 95 Essay on Pictures 96

DRAWING LAND

The New Slate 97 Learning to Draw 98 A Lesson in Drawing 99

OLD MEN TALES

Old Man and His Wife 100 John Ball Shot Them All 100 Funny Old Man 100 Strange Men 100 Jack Sprat 101 Cross Old Man 101 Very Funny Men 101 Utter Nonsense 102 History Of John Gilpin 103 Australian Native Choir 104

OLD WOMEN TALES

Woman Who Lived in a Shoe 106 Mother Goose 107 Old Women of Stepney 107 Funny Old Women 108 Old Woman Who Went Up in a Basket 108 Twenty-six Funny Women 109

TRAVELLING LAND

Forty Ways of Travelling 110-113 Flying Machines 114-117

NAME LAND

555 Boys' Names 118 555 Girls' Names 119

GAME LAND

Cole's Game of Hats and Bonnets 120-123 Riddles and Catches 124-127 Picture Puzzles 128-143 Shadows on the Wall 144 Deaf and Dumb Alphabet 145 Language of Flowers 146 Kindness to Animals 147 Funny Australian Natives 148-149

PUSSY LAND

My Pussy 150 Pussy-Cat and Mousey 150 Puss and the Monkey 150 Mary's Puss Drowned 150 Dame Trot's Puss 151 Daddy Hubbard's Cat 152 Story of a Little Mouse 153 Tom, Puss, and the Rats 154 Puss in Boots 155 Monkey and the Cats 155 Dick Whittington 155 More Pussy Land 156 The White Kitten 157 Little Pussy 158 Puss and the Crab 158 Puss in the Corner 159 Tabby 159 Old Puss 159 Dead Kitten 160 My Own Puss 161 Putting Kitty to Bed 161

DOGGY LAND

Mother Hubbard and Dog 162 Puss and Rover 163 No Breakfast for Growler 163 Poor Old Tray 163

GOAT LAND

O'Grady's Goat 164 The Goat and the Swing 164

MONKEY LAND

Meddlesome Jacko 165 A Fruitless Sorrow 165

GEE-GEE LAND

The Wonderful Horse 166 The Horse 166 Good Dobbin 166 Horse Sentenced to Die 167 The Arab and His Horse 167 Farmer John 168

DONKEY LAND

The Cottager's Donkey 169 Old Jack the Donkey 169 Poor Donkey's Epitaph 169

MOO-MOO LAND

The Cow and the Ass 170 The Cowboy's Song 171 That Calf 171

BA-BA LAND

The Lost Lamb 172 The Pet Lamb 172-173

PIGGY LAND

The Pig is a Gentleman 174 Five Little Pigs 174 The Self-willed pig 174 Three Naughty Pigs 175 The Spectre Pig 175 The Chinese Pig 176 Dame Crump and Her Pig 176 Old Woman and Her Pig 177 The Three Little Pigs 177

BUNNY LAND

Disobedient Bunny 178 The Wild Rabbits 178 The Pet Rabbit 178 The Little Hare 179 The Poor Hunted Hare 179 Epitaph on a Hare 179

RAT LAND

Pied Piper of Hamelin 180 Wicked Bishop Hatto 181

MOUSEY LAND