Chapter 7

_Princess_: But see--his wrist is bleeding. I am sure it hurts you! Let me bind it for you (_to Prince_).

_Greening_: Princess! how can you stoop to touch a scullion?

_Sweeting_: Your Highness is strangely forgetting yourself!

_Princess_: Nay, ladies, it is you who forget yourselves!

DUET (_Princess_ and _Prince_).

(Air, "When We Are Married."--_Belle of New York_.)

_Princess_: You should be thinking what you can do To help the people who live to serve you! Though I'm a princess, plainly I see I must act kindly to those who serve me!

_Prince_: Long was my journey, I'm weary and sore, But such a princess I've ne'er seen before! Nothing I ask for, save only to be Here in the castle, my Princess to see!

_Princess_: Though I am a princess, plainly I see, I must act kindly to those who serve me!

_Prince_: Nothing I ask for, save only to be Here in the castle, my Princess to see!

(_The Princess binds up his wrist up stage_.)

_Greening (furiously to Head Cook)_: How did you come to engage such a scurvy-looking fellow?

_Head Cook_: Of a truth, madame, I vould not have done so, madame, but my scullions have all gone, and I had none to guard ze Christmas pie to-night!

_Sweeting_: The Christmas pie!

_Head Cook_: Yes, madame, from ze Brownies. He has consent, now I have told him of ze pepper-pot.

_Greening_: The pepper-pot! You may go, fellow!

(_The Cook retires up back, annoyed; bullies Kitchenmaid and Cooklet_, R. _Prince and Princess center, making pie. Prince helps her. Head Cook furious_.)

_Greening_: Listen, I have an idea! That man is no scullion!

_Sweeting_: No scullion?

_Greening_: I am sure of it! See how he holds himself! How easily he talks with the Princess! I believe he is some prince who has made his way into the castle in disguise--

_Sweeting_: Yes, look! His sword peeps out beneath his rags! When did a scullion ever wear a sword? Oh, what are we to do?

_Greening_: I told you I had an idea. (_To dresser_.) He is to watch the pie to-night! We'll take the pepper-pot!

_Sweeting_: But they'll see us!

_Greening_: Not if you stand before me!

(_Sweeting stands before Greening, holding out her dress while Greening reaches down pepper-pot from dresser_.)

_Greening_: Now when the Brownies come, he'll find his sword will be of little use! See, let us make the Princess come, or she will talk all night!

_Sweeting_: Your Highness--

_Greening_: Your Highness!

_Sweeting_: If Your Highness is quite finished, I pray that Your Highness will not tarry longer in this odious kitchen! The heat is overpowering!

_Greening_: And I could never stand the smell of raw pastry!

_Sweeting_: So if Your Highness has quite finished--

_Princess (regretfully)_: Oh, dear, I suppose I must go then! And you will guard the pie to-night! You are sure you are not afraid!

_Prince_: Afraid! Of course not! If the Brownies come I have the pepper-pot!

_Greening (vindictively, aside, and holding the pepper-pot)_: Have you. (_To Princess_) Princess, I faint for want of sleep!

_Sweeting_: And I expire! (_Yawning_) I droop--I yawn!

_Princess_: Yes, I see you do! As you're so sleepy, I must consider you and go to bed (_sighing_). But oh, I shall be glad when morning comes (_to Prince_), and I am sure you're safe again!

(_Graceful march again played. The Princess goes out, followed by ladies; she turns at door, and looks at Prince and sighs, then exit followed by Greening and Sweeting. The Prince stands gazing after her_.)

_Head Cook_: Come, come, come, young man; 'tis time the lights were out and other folk in bed besides Her Highness! And if, instead of staring after her, you'd lend a hand and set the kitchen straight, it would be more seemly.

(_Cook, Kitchenmaid and Cooklet bustle about, putting cooking things away from table, leaving only pie_.)

_Prince (dreamily)_: Eh? Did you speak?

_Head Cook_: Shall I tell you what it is? Your head is turned right around! When royalty speaks to me, do I swell out? No! I know my place! I take no notice! But you--you are nosing but a crawling--snail!

_Prince_: Why, sir, I've been engaged to guard the Christmas pie, and not to listen to your rating, so the sooner you are off to bed the better am I pleased!

(_Lights candles and hands them to Cooklet and Kitchenmaid_.)

_Head Cook (furious, spluttering with rage_): Vat--vat--vat--how dare you?

_Kitchenmaid_: O dear, good, kind young man, how can we leave you? (_Both tearfully fall on knees_.)

_Cooklet_: Oh, pray, dear, good young man, be careful.

_Kitchen_: Yes, dashing, bold young man--don't--don't be careless! (_Both howl loudly_).

_Head Cook_: Hussies! Arise! You concern yourselves much too much for zis young man! I cannot sink why so much notice should be taken of a scullion! Yes! (_To Prince_.) 'Twere better fit I should have told your tale unto Her Highness; and if she questioned you, it was for you to bow and say, "My gr-r-racious master, ze Head Cook, vill spik for me!" In future--please--r-r-remember! (_Exit, with dignity, followed by Kitchenmaid and Cooklet. The Brownies cackle with laughter outside. The stage is now dark, lit only by firelight_.)

_Prince_: And so my lady sleeps above, and I am in the kitchen, her humblest scullion! Well, at least I have the chance to serve her now, and guard the dainty pie her dainty fingers touched! _(Brownies cackle outside_.) What's that? The rats, perhaps, that scutter in the wainscot. Still, if the Brownies come, I'd best have the pepper-pot. _If they come_--there's little fear of that! I've never seen a Brownie, and what I've never seen, I own, I've little faith in. (_Yawning, sitting in armchair_.) Well, as I'm to stay all night here, I might as well make myself at ease! (_Yawning again_.) Oh, dear; I'm very sleepy. (_Stretches himself_.)

SONG.

(Air: "Little Dolly Daydream.")

_Prince_: Now every one has gone to rest, To guard the pie I'll do my best; But all are sleeping, No one's peeping; To take a little nap myself were best. And if by chance the Brownies come, The pepper-pot will drive them home. For if I should be sleeping, I'm sure to hear them creeping, And then I can wake up before they come. Little sleeping Princess now I'll dream of thee! So sweet you be, And soon you'll see That I love you, darling, tenderly. Little sleeping Princess, dream of me!

(_Prince sleeps in armchair. Soft music outside. Enter Brownies, mysteriously, to the air: "Whist! whist! whist_!")

_Brownies (pianissimo)_: Whist! whist! whist! Here comes the Brownie man! To catch the rascal sleeping Is now our little plan. We'll tie the nasty scullion fast And pinch him till he's sore. The Christmas pie is ours at last; The waiting time is o'er.

_Frip (softly)_: As we are so full of fun, Ere the feasting is begun, For a pleasant little game We will make him blind and lame.

_Snip_: Pull his hair and poke his eyes-- Anything we can devise.

_Tip_: Kick him till he's black and blue.

_Pip_: Run with pins his fingers through.

_Frip_: And, because he's dared to scoff, We will pull his toe-nails off!!!

(_They surround Prince. He wakes_.)

_Prince_: Why, what's this? (_Rising_) The Brownies! Where's the pepper-pot! (_To dresser_) Gone! (_Brownies cackle_.)

_Frip_: Now you cannot sprinkle us. It's no use to make a fuss!

(_Brownies dance about impishly_.)

_Tip_: Yes! In vain you squeal and cry. We shall eat the Christmas pie!

_Snip_: Proud you may be, as Mazeppa! But we only fear RED PEPPER!

DUET (_Prince_ and _Brownies_).

(Air: "There Lived a King."--_The Gondoliers_.)

_Prince_: If that is so, you'd better trot, For if you stay you'll get it hot! I swear that I will thrash the lot For I'm the Prince, Red Pepper!

_Brownies (cowering, afraid)_: Now if we stay, we plainly see That very soon there'll ructions be! Observe his hair, how fi-er-y! Oh, yes! He's a high-stepper! And, though he cannot make us sneeze, His sword will tickle and will tease; I think the pie we'd better seize, And run from this Red Pepper!

(_Music. Brownies seize pie_.)

_Prince_: Now, put that pie down straight away, Or very rude things I shall say, And run you through and through I may If I become excited!

_Brownies (consulting together by table)_: I really think he means it, too! Now what on earth are we to do? We do not care to be run through! _(Howling pitifully)_We don't like being fighted.

_Prince_: If that is so, I think you'll see You'd better kneel at once to me, And humbly beg for clemency! For so is vice requited!

_Brownies (repeating chorus, kneeling round Prince)_: Oh, yes, dear sir, we plainly see That we had better kneel to thee, And humbly beg for clemency! For so is vice requited!

_Prince (brandishing sword)_: Now, one, two, three, and off you fly, Or ev'ry one of you shall die!

(_Brownies scream, and are about to run off as enter Princess_ R. _with pepper-pot_.)

_Prince_: Princess! What brings you here?

_Princess_: They took the pepper-pot away from you! I found it underneath my ladies' pillow, because they sneezed so much it wakened me. But, oh, I see you have not needed it!

_Brownies_: Oh, no, no, no! Pray, do not pepper us! (_Brownies turn and kneel to Princess imploringly_.)

_Prince_: And you came to save me?

_Princess_: Is it not my duty to protect my scullions?

_Prince_: Princess, I am no scullion (_throws off ragged cloak_.) This was a disguise to help me gain admittance to your castle! It was the only way in which I could find a means to woo you. But my name's Prince Fairasday--or, if you like, or as my servants say--Red Pepper. Am I forgiven?

_Princess_: Oh, yes, indeed you are! (_He embraces her_.) In the strictest confidence I don't mind telling you I'm longing to be married and get away from all these girls!

_Prince_: Then we'll be married in the morning!

_Princess_: As soon as you like--Oh (_screams_), my ladies! Look, they're coming!

(_Enter Sweeting, Greening, Kitchenmaid, Cooklet and Head Cook, in nightgowns and nightcaps, with candles. Stage light. The candles may be blown out. Prince and Princess stand in center; Brownies kneel before them humbly, backs to audience; Head Cook, Kitchenmaid and Cooklet_, R. _of Princess and Prince. Greening and Sweeting disgusted L.)_

FINALE. _Cook, Kitchenmaid, Cooklet, Sweeting, Greening (as they enter_):

CHORUS. (Air: "Bogie Man.")Dear, dear, dear! Now, what is all this fuss? And what's the Princess doing here? It really puzzles us!

_Brownies_: She came to save her scullion, And found a Prince instead. And we are kneeling down because He nearly killed us dead!

DUET (_Prince_ and _Princess_). (Air: "When We Are Married.")

_Princess_: Now all is over, you will agree The moral is plain as a moral can he: If you act kindly, rewarded you'll be. Have a prince for your husband, and end happily!

CHORUS. (Air: "There Lived a King.")

_Prince_: And boys must be both brave and strong, And ever quick to right the wrong; And now, ere I conclude my song, I'll speak of pepper quickly! For pepper stirs and brisks you up, And makes you more inclined to sup, And seasons many a loving cup Which else would be too sickly!

_Brownies_: And though we are not killed quite dead, With honest shame we hang our head, And much regret the lives we led, Before we met Red Pepper!

FULL CHORUS. So now our little play is done, Before you people homeward run, We hope to hear from every one That you have liked Red Pepper!

(CURTAIN.)

* * * * *

=A Game of Letters.=

MERRY CHRISTMAS.

BY ELIZABETH J. ROOK.

(_For fourteen little ones. Each has a large card, his letter printed on it in bright colors. As he recites, he holds it up in plain view, but drops it to his side at the close of his recitation. S takes his place to the Right, the others following in the order here given until a straight line is formed_.)

S We have a game of letters Which we're going to show to you, And each will name his letter As he holds it up to view. I have an S--a crooked S, It stands for sugar sweet.

A And here's an A for apple pie.

M And M for good mince meat.

T T stands for turkey, fat and brown, We have on Christmas day.

S And here is S for Santa Claus, And also for his sleigh.

I I stands for icicles and ice,

R And R for reindeer gay.

H H stands for home and happiness,

C And C for Christmas day.

Y And next in line comes letter Y; It stands for youth and you; We couldn't do without it, It's in the New Year, too.

R I have an R, it stands for Right, And I will hold it high;

R And mine I'll place beside it, For R also have I.

E I like the letter E the best, For what is Earth without it? And Everything begins with E-- Does anybody doubt it?

M I hold in hand a great big M, It suits me to a T; M stands for mother, money, too, And, yes, it stands for me.

(_All now stand close together and hold their letters at the same height. Then the following lines may be given in concert or spoken by the leader [S] alone_.)

Now if you read our letters down From left hand to the right, You'll find a Christmas greeting For one and all to-night.

Then beginning at the the left, each child may name his letter--

M-E-R-R-Y C-H-R-I-S-T-M-A-S.

(_Exit_.)

* * * * *

=Under the Christmas Tree.=

A DOLLYDRAMA.

BY ARTHUR GUITERMAN.

TIME: Christmas Eve. CHARACTERS: _Arabella_, a heartless French doll; _Koko_, a melodramatic Japanese doll; _Jackski-in-the-Boxovitch,_ the Muscovite Mystery. SCENES: The children's room. A Christmas tree, properly decorated, L. A box or hamper with a hinged cover, large enough to contain _Jack_, center. An entrance, R. _Arabella_ is costumed as a lady doll should be. _Koko_ is attired in Japanese style, either old or modern military, and wears a sword. _Jack_ should have abundant black hair and beard and should be provided with a gilded club. When the curtain rises, _Arabella_ is discovered seated under the Christmas tree, eating comfits. The action should be stiff-jointed and doll-like throughout.

_Arabella (rising)_: Oh, marvelous is Nature! Only see How bounteous the spreading Christmas tree That bears upon its branches sugar-plums, With candy canes and baskets, balls and drums And trumpets, whistles, candles, pop-corn strings, And countless kinds of gilt and tinsel things! Beneath its shade I'll sit me down a while And read, an idle moment to beguile, These tender letters penned by suitors three Who seek my hand--What _can_ they see in me? (_Seating herself, she takes out three letters, opening one_.) That sailor doll! He talks of foreign lands And sings; but I can't bear his tarry hands! Besides, 'tis rash to trust these roving men. (_Tearing the letter_.) So, Bobbie Shafto, go to sea again. (_She opens another letter_.) Poor Koko! How that soldier boy does tease! To tell the truth, I like that Japanese: But, no! 'twould never do. I can't afford To wed a doll with nothing but a sword. (_She sighs, folds the letter, and opens the third_.) A crest! The Marquis!--Yes, he's dull, alas! But think!--the Marchioness of Carabas!

(_Rising, she marches majestically_ R. _Koko enters hurriedly. He throws himself at her feet and seizes her hand_.)

_Koko_: Hail, Arabella. (_She draws away_.) Nay, be not so nice! Though I said "Hail!" yet do not turn to ice. That chilly manner fairly makes one freeze. Behold me down upon my Japan knees! He bends to thee who never knelt before! Thou art my all.

_Arabella (aside)_: Oh, sawdust! What a bore!

_Koko_: One word from thee would lift me to the skies. Pray speak that word!

_Arabella_: I'll try to, sir. Arise!

_Koko_: Nay, mock me not! You know the word I mean.

_Arabella_: Oh, Captain Koko! please don't make a scene.

_Koko_: What! Do you spurn me?

_Arabella (soothingly)_: Now, I wouldn't care To put it that way. Captain, don't despair! That German doll would make a model wife. But, frankly, I don't fancy army life.

_Koko_: Ha! scorned! I know what brings it to this pass. That stupid Marquis--he of Carabas. False girl, beware! You'll find, ere years have rolled, That honest steel is better far than gold. Farewell! (_Exit tragically_.)

_Arabella_: Good-by! Drop in some night for tea. (_She stands_ L. _of box, musing_.) I wonder what an "honest steal" can be! Perhaps he'll soon return to make it clear. I hope he does; it's awful lonely here.

(_Jack springs up in the box, holding his gilded club in his right hand. With his left he seizes Arabella by the hair_.)

_Jack_: Be mine! be mine! I'm handsome, wise and rich; My name is Jackski-in-the-Boxovitch! In token of my boundless wealth, behold This weighty war-club, made of massy gold. My noble castle's built of wood and glue; Within its walls is ample room for two; Then be my bride and all my treasure share! You know, I always fancied auburn hair.

_Arabella_: Help! help! Oh, save me from this horrid fright!

_Jack_: Now, don't call names; it's dreadful impolite.

(_Re-enter Koko_.)

_Koko_: What cries are these? What horror meets my view? Unhand her, caitiff giant!

_Jack_: Not for you!

_Koko_: Then draw! (_Unsheathing his sword_.)

_Jack_: I can't. I'm not an artist, man. But I can fight.

_Koko_:'Tis time then we began.

_Jack_: Come on!

_Koko_: Come on!

_Jack_: Come on! I said it first

_Koko_: False traitor!

_Jack_: Feeble pigmy, do your worst!

(_They fight. Koko strikes the club from Jack's hand and drives him down into the box_.)

_Koko_: Down! down! In the vile casket whence you sprung Remain, unwept, unhonored, and unsung!

(_He picks up the golden war-club_.)

_Arabella_: My hero! (_She falls into Koko's arms_.)

_Koko_: Lady, thus the Fates reveal How conquered gold is won by honest steel. The tyrant's hoard is ours; and, if you'll deign To say your Koko's suit is not in vain, Within this lordly castle, warmed by steam, We'll live on sugar, strawberries, and cream.

(_Jack pops up with a white handkerchief in one hand and stretches his arms over the pair in front of his box_.)

_Jack_: Bless you, my children!

_Koko (hands on sword)_: What, again!

_Jack (waving the handkerchief)_: Hold, hold! A truce to war! I would a tale unfold; So, never let your angry passions rise. In me you see a fairy in disguise-- A kindly fairy. Thus, with open hands, I give to valiant Koko wealth and lands. Fair Arabella! Nature, Fortune, Art, Have made her perfect--lacking but a heart; So let her take, that want to cure, I say, These pleasant tablets, three times every day. (_He gives her a handful of heart-shaped sugar-candies which she obediently begins to eat_.)Now for your futures: Koko shall belong To Master Lee; and, being very strong, He won't be broken for a month or so. But Arabella,--her I do bestow On Baby Maud. Them shall you serve by day; But oft at night, when toys are tucked away, When all the house is hushed and no one sees, We'll here enact such pleasant plays as these Beneath the Christmas tree. You've held the floor

_Arabella_ and _Koko (shutting down the cover)_: For half an hour, Jack. Don't be a bore!

[QUICK CURTAIN.]

End of Project Gutenberg's Christmas Entertainments, by Alice Maude Kellogg