Part 2

(_Motions—1, shake finger, coquettishly. 2, clasp hands. 3, wave hand toward place where tree is to stand. 4, beat time with right fist on left palm. 5, clap hands. 6, join right hands, trip around, stop, facing, on opposite side. 7, join left hands, and repeat 6. 8, nod. 9, shake head. 10, join both hands, and dance around. 11, put head to one side, and smirk. 12, both hands clasped on breast. 13, point with right forefinger. 14, measure with thumb and forefinger. 15, clap hand over hip pocket. 16, hang head bashfully, step nearer. 17, hold up left hand, and look at ring finger. 18, place hands on Jake’s shoulders. 19, shake her gently. 20, place hands against Jake’s breast, look up earnestly. 21, starts back. 22, slaps pocket. 23, steps back, head high. 24, nods emphatically. 25, turn backs toward each other, heads high. 26, look over shoulder. 27, face about. 28, bow elaborately. Rhoda dances to seat. Jake stalks glumly to his, hands in pockets._)

AUNT HEPSY—(_clapping_) Good, good enough! Ef you writ that ere song, Miss Peppergrass, you’re a genyus. It’s the truest and funniest thing I ever heerd. And the funniest part of it is, the men folks’ll never know how funny it reely is! It’s human natur, sure enough. ’Twas wuth comin’ in, jest to hear that one song. What’s next on the programmy?

MISS P.—“Santa Claus.” An original composition by Betsey Jones.

(_Betsey comes out, unfolds her composition very deliberately, and reads her title with emphasis._)

BETSEY—“Sandy Claws!”

AUNT HEPSEY—Hain’t you pernouncin’ his name kinder odd-like, Betsey?

MISS P.—That’s what I think, but—

BETSEY—’Tis Sandy Claws. Uncle Sol says so, and he’s the oldest man in this town. He says folkses allers used to say it so, and it’s jest a new-fangled notion to change it. ’N he said if I’d read it jest as I writ it, he’d give me ten cents, ’n I’m a goin’ to do it. I never had ten cents to once’t before, ’n I’m a goin’ to get it.

AUNT HEPSEY—Don’t blame ye a bit. Ef anybody kin git ten cents outen old Sol Perkins, it’s their bounden duty to do it, say I. Go on, Betsey, ’n read it up good ’n loud.

BETSEY—“Sandy Claws.”—Sandy Claws is an old, old man, older than Methuselah ever dreamed of be_ing_. He lives in a big snow house, built around the North Pole, and uses the Pole for a flag staff. He is very fat and jolly, with a big ponderosity in front. His belt is so long it has to be made to order. His eyes are the kind that twinkle and laugh all by themselves. His nose is round and red, like a little apple. His cheeks are, too, what you can see of ’em. They are mostly covered by his whiskers. His whiskers are very predominant. They grow as thick as a crop of well fertilized clover in a good hay year. His hair is long, thick, and curly, so that if he bumps his head gett_ing_ down a chimbley, it won’t hurt him none—I mean not any. These hair and whiskers are of a sandy color, which is one reason he is called _Sandy_ Claws. The other reason is because he has claws.

AUNT HEPSEY—Hold on there, Betsey! I’ve seen many a picture of Sandy Claws in my day, but nary a one that had claws.

MISS P.—Nor, I, Miss Bascom, but if Uncle Sol says so—

AUNT HEPSEY—Land yes, there’s no disputin’ Sol Perkins. He’s sailed around the world, ’n lived with the Feejees ’n the Hottentots, ’n if you doubt ary one o’ his sailor yarns, he’ll up ’n say, “Wal, was _you_ ever there?” ’n course you never wasn’t ’n there ’tis. But claws on Sandy Claws is most too much ter swaller.

BETSEY—Uncle Sol’s seen old Sandy Claws with his own eyes, ’n he _knows_. Sandy saved him when he was wrecked in Baffin Bay, ’n he lived with him most six months, till it come Christmuss again.

AUNT HEPSEY—Wal, wal! I knew Sol had ben wrecked some two or three hundred times, but I never heered of _that_ time afore.

BETSEY—Nor I, till I hed this ere comporishing to write, ’n then he told me. He’d allers kep it a secret afore. (_reads_) His claws are not on his fingers, but on his toes, ’n when he finds a bad child a-sleepin’ (I mean sleep_ing_ with his stock_ing_ hang_ing_ up by the chimbley), he jest scratches him good ’n hard with them claws o’ his’n, and whops up chimbley again, ’n leaves it hang there empty, less’n he puts in a stick. He brings beautiful things to good girls and boys, and I hope he’ll bring me a diamond necklace this year, or at least a gold chain with a diamond locket. I’ve wished for them every year since I was a child, and although he has not brought them, I haven’t given up hop_ing_ yet.—Betsey Euphemia Perkins, aged 12.

There, Teacher, didn’t I say them “ings” good? I never dropped none.

MISS P.—Very good indeed, Betsey, and your composition is certainly original, with your Uncle Sol, at least. (_Betsey takes seat._)

AUNT HEPSEY—That’ll please Sol—that ere compliment. He doos hate ter have any body doubt his stories—and after all, _we’ve_ never went to sea.

MISS P.—Next is a recitation by Aaron and Mosetta Peaslee.

AUNT HEPSEY—What’s the name ont?

AARON—(_as he and his sister come out_) Name’s “Aaron and Moses.”

MISS P.—But I told you that wouldn’t do for a piece, and you were to learn another.

MIRIAM—(_rising_) ’Tis another, Teacher—or rather it’s the same one made longer. Ma she said it was too bad to change it when ’twas so ’proprate, ’n Reuben’s mother she fixed it up fer ’em. It’s good, now, Teacher, really, ’n Ma she says it’s that or nothin’. ’N if they can’t speak it, we can’t any of us come to-night.

MISS P.—Well, let’s hear it, children.

(_Children bow to chair, then to school, then to each other._)

AARON—Says Aaron to Moses, “Let’s cut^{1} off our noses,”

MOSETTA—Says Moses to Aaron, “It’s the fashion to wear^{2} ’em.”

AARON—Says Aaron, “With my shearses^{3}, we’ll trim off our earses^{4}.”

MOSETTA—Says Moses, “I fearses ’twould bring the tearses.”^{5}

AARON—Says Aaron, (that’s me, then) “Let’s stay as we be,^{6} then.”

MOSETTA—Says Moses, “We’ll do so,^{7} like Robinson Crusoe.”

BOTH—And Aaron^{8} and Moses will stay as they be, And come^{9} hand in hand, to this fine^{10} Christmas tree.^{11}

(_Motions—1, hit nose with forefinger, with downward stroke. 2, smooth nose, and down on cheeks with both forefingers, holding head up, rather haughtily. 3, cross forefingers, work them back and forth, like shears. 4, take tips of ears between thumbs and forefingers. 5, wipe first one eye, then the other, with corner of handkerchief. 6, clap hands together. 7, nod. 8, join hands. 9, walk to corner where tree is to stand. 10, spread hands apart, motioning toward corner, and looking up. 11, stand a moment in position. 10, then turn and bow, hands still apart. 11, join hands, march to front, bow, and take seats._)

MISS P.—Well, of all the poems I ever heard!

MIRIAM—Yes, warn’t it a nice one, teacher? Hanner Ann Jenkins is goin’ to hang ’em each a present for speakin’ it, ’n ma’s goin’ to hang one for Hanner Ann for writin’ it. She wouldn’t take a cent, ’n it took her three hours. It’s wuth ten cents an hour, ma says, ’n that there present’s goin’ to be wuth every bit of thutty cents.

MISS P.—But—

AUNT HEPSEY—Least said soonest mended, child. Best keep still, and go on with the programmy.

MISS P.—Music by the orchestra. “While Shepherds Watched Their Flocks By Night.” (_Peter, Jacob, Rhoda, Miriam, Betsey, and Sammy come out._) (_Sammy has a drum, Peter “bones” or “clappers,” Jacob a jewsharp, or harmonica if he can play the tune on it, Rhoda has a triangle, and Miriam and Betsey have paper covered combs._)

HIRAM—(_from doorway_) Shell I come, teacher? I’m all rigged out in these doodads.

MISS P.—Yes, come and take your part. Santa Claus has a right to whistle at a Christmas entertainment.

(_Hiram takes place in line, and whistles the tune. Any other tune will do as well, providing it is old-fashioned. They should have some difficulty in getting started. Miss P. “beats time” with a ruler._)

AUNT HEPSEY—(_at close_) Wal, wal! So that’s an orchestry! I’ve often read in the papers, “Music by sech and sech an orchestry,” but I never knowed what an orchestry was. They did real well I’m sure. They’d ought to hev a wong kore piece. The folks’ll be sure to clap ’em back.

MISS P.—They have, Aunt Hepsey. Play “Glory Hallelujah,” children.

(_They do so._)

HIRAM—Now shall we play “Ole Hundred”?

MISS P.—No, that is to conclude the programme. That will do.

(_They take seats._)

MISS P.—Next is a song by Faith Toothacre, “A Christmas Fairy.”

(_Faith runs from entry, dressed as a fairy, in short white skirts, with many ruffles, paper wings, flowing hair, with a paper crown, and a long slender stick in her hand. Bows lightly and waves wand._)

FAITH—Ma, she ain’t got the star fastened to the end of my wand yet, and she said this’d have to do till to-night. It’s the peskiest thing she ever tried to make stay, she says, but it’s got to stay, somehow.

MISS P.—Very well. Now sing. (_Faith starts it, first too low, then too high, then Miss P. starts it, and she sings._)

FAITH—(_sings_) Tune: “Lightly Row.”

Lightly,^{1} oh, lightly, oh, comes the Christmas Fairy, oh. Brightly,^{1} oh, sprightly, oh, tripping^{2} o’er the snow. Coming^{3} from a land of light, just to make your Christmas bright. Lightly,^{1} oh, lightly, oh, tripping^{2} o’er the snow. Lightly,^{1} oh, lightly, oh, weaveth she a spell, just so. To^{4} and fro, to and fro, tripping o’er the snow. Singeth she a carol sweet, as^{5} she comes with dancing feet, To^{4} and fro, to and fro, tripping o’er the snow. Clear^{6} the way, clear the way, for the happy Christmas Fay. Joy^{7} she brings on^{8} her wings, as she softly sings. Spreading^{9} cheer and joy and mirth, over all the snow clad earth, Light^{10} and gay, light and gay, comes the Christmas Fay.

(_Motions—1, sway wand lightly, to and fro. 2, trip lightly to one side, (at next 2, trip back.) 3, wand high, to right, bring down, obliquely. 4, trip back and forth, a few steps. 5, stand still in place, but dance lightly up and down. 6, wand to left, against body, bring to right, and out, with sweeping motion. 7, hands out, in front. 8, look around, over left shoulder, at wing. 9, wave wand low. 10, hold wand high, dance around in place. At close, bow airily, and dance to seat._)

AUNT HEPSEY—Wal, ef that aint the purtiest thing I ever saw! And Fay makes a sweet fairy. Now you writ that, I’m sure, Miss Peppergrass. Oh, you needn’t acknowlidge it, ’nless you wanter, kaze I kin tell, by the way you blush, ’n simper. You needn’t be ’fraid ter own it, fer it’s as good as anythin’ Longfeller ever writ, I’m sure.

MISS P.—NEXT A RECITATION BY JOHNNY LOWE—“Hang Up Your Stocking.”

JOHNNY—(_he speaks very low and fast._)

Hang up your stockin’ on Christmas Eve; That is, if you’ve been good, And don’t disobey, nor try to deceive, But do as a little boy should. For if you’re good, there’ll be sugarplums, And toys in it, too, I know. But if you’re bad, there’ll be just a stick To wallop you with. Oh, ho!

AUNT HEPSEY—Massy me, Johnny! I couldn’t hear a word of it. What was it about?

MISS P.—Say it louder, Johnny.

JOHNNY—Yes’m. (_says first line very loud and fast._)

MISS P.—No, no, Johnny. Say it slower. (_Johnny says two lines, very slowly._)

MISS P.—A little faster, Johnny, and loud, too. (_Johnny tries again, and does well, but speaks very loud._)

AUNT HEPSEY—Wal, even deef old Joe kin hear that, I reckin.

MISS P.—Recitation by Sally Whittaker. (_Sally comes out, and puts finger in mouth a minute, then bows, puts in finger again, takes it out, bows again. Does so two or three times._)

MISS P.—Speak your piece, Sally, like a nice girl.

SALLY—I’th forgot it.

MISS P.—The oak—

SALLY—Oh yes, the oak.

The oak an’ the apple, the pine and the peath, Are very fine treeth, you thee. But the betht tree I know, with the bethtetht fruit Ith that tree—the Chrithmuth tree. (_Points to tree._)

AUNT HEPSY—Good for you, Sally.

MISS P.—Next, a recitation by Patience Toothacre, “Watching for Santa.”

(_Patty comes from entry, dressed in long nightie. She has bare feet and flowing hair, and carries a candle._)

AUNT HEPSY—For the land sakes, Patty Toothacre! Go dress yourself.

PATTY—(_indignantly_) I _is_ dressed, underneath. This is my—my—

REUBEN—Cuss tune.

MISS P.—Reuben!

REUBEN—That’s what you called it.

PATTY—

I’se watching for Santa. I hope he’ll come soon. ’Cause every one’s ’sleep in this house except me. He hasn’t come yet, for my stocking’s not filled, I lit me a candle and crept down to see.

I’ll sit^{1} down and watch for him, here on the floor. And tell him I need a new dolly to-night. My eyes^{2} are so sleepy I just have to shut ’em,^{3} But^{4} I’ll keep awake to catch Santa, all right.^{5}

(_Motions—1, sits down. 2, rubs eyes. 3, closes eyes. 4, lies down on floor. 5, sit up, open eyes, stretch sleepily, lie down and go to sleep. Hi tiptoes in, and carries her out._)

MISS P.—Now the orchestra will play the closing piece, (_to Sammy, who is wildly waving hand_) What is it, Sammy?

SAMMY—Please kin I g’wout?

MISS P.—Yes. (_Sammy tiptoes out. Orchestra begins “Old Hundred,” and Sammy bursts wildly in._)

SAMMY—Teacher, oh teacher! Somebody’s been and gone and done it! I told you they would! I told you so! Oh dear! Oh dear!

MISS P.—Why, Sammy, what is the matter? What has happened?

SAMMY—Somebody’s gone and stole that ere tree!

(_School breaks up in wild confusion, every one running out to see._)

Christmas Entertainments

=CHRISTMAS AT PUNKIN HOLLER.= A new Christmas play by Elizabeth F. Guptill that abounds in clean, wholesome fun from beginning to end. It depicts the trials of the teacher of an old-fashioned “deestric school” in conducting the last rehearsal for the Christmas Entertainment. Some of the pupils are in “custom,” as big Jake puts it, and “Sandy Claus” is there. The children go through their parts with gusto and more or less success. May be given in any schoolroom by any number. Easy to produce. Costumes simple. Children and grown-ups will be delighted with CHRISTMAS AT PUNKIN HOLLER. Price, 15 cents.

=A TOPSY TURVY CHRISTMAS.= Another new Christmas play by Elizabeth F. Guptill. It is decidedly humorous from start to finish. The characters are strong and at every turn of the play there is a happy surprise for the audience. The children are tired of “minding,” and the everything being “just so,” so they start to find a place where they will find things different. They find it in Topsy Turvy Land, where they have strange experiences. When at last they have a Topsy Turvy Christmas, they are ready to go home and be satisfied with things just as they are. May be given in any schoolroom by any number of children not less than fifteen. In two short scenes. This clever play will prove a sure winner wherever produced. Price, 15 cents.

=CHRISTMAS AT McCARTHY’S.= Elizabeth F. Guptill. Here is a new Christmas play for the older children and as many young children as are available. It combines in a marked degree the gentlest pathos and the most sparkling humor. Several nationalities are represented in the tenement and there is opportunity for the introduction of specialties if desired. Circumstances cause Elsie, the tenement orphan, to believe Jimmy, the newsboy, will buy her a Christmas present, and it seems it is up to Jimmy to do it. Christmas is an unknown quantity at the tenement, but all agree that Elsie must not be disappointed, and plan to have one somehow. The entertainment is given by the “inhabitints thimsilves,” at McCarthy’s. In the midst of the fun, Elsie’s lost father walks in, and the finale is a general rejoicing. Price, 25c.

=CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES.= By Cecil J. Richmond. A book full of the choicest new and original dialogues for Christmas, parts for both boys and girls being well provided for. Some are for the little folks, in rhyme; some are for intermediate grades, and others for older children. Every dialogue in this book is decidedly to the point and easy to prepare. They will delight young and old alike. Contents: Is There a Santa Claus? 2 small children, Santa Claus and chorus; Herbert’s Discovery, 2 boys; The Christmas Dinner, 2 little girls, 1 larger girl and 2 boys; Playing Santa Claus, 1 small and 2 larger boys; A Double Christmas Gift, 2 small girls, 2 larger girls, and 3 boys. Price, 15 cents.

=EVERGREEN AND HOLLY—SONG AND DRILL.= By Elizabeth F. Guptill. A drill for any even number of boys and girls, or all girls. The girls carry garlands of evergreen while the boys carry wreaths of the same. After a spectacular drill and fancy march they all sing a beautiful Christmas song, which accompanies the drill. Following the song they wind a spiral to the center of the stage, unwind same and march off. Complete instructions are given. It is the best Christmas drill ever published; easy to produce and decidedly novel. Price, 15 cents.

=PEARL’S CHRISTMAS.= Original, pleasing and interesting Christmas dialogue with an excellent moral, for 3 boys and 4 girls. Price, 5 cents; seven copies, 25 cents.

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READINGS AND RECITATIONS

=COMIC ENTERTAINER, THE.= Edited by H. L. Williams. An up-to-date collection of the choicest humor. Such a variety in prose and poetry as to suit almost any occasion. The book also contains four monologues, two for male and two for female characters; also four short dialogues. =Price, twenty-five cents.=

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* * * * *

Transcriber’s Notes:

Play changes characters' names to nicknames and back again at times. Dialect is inconsistent in spelling. For example “haint” and “hain’t.” Obvious punctuation errors repaired.

Page 4, “rehease” changed to “rehearse” (rehearse your parts)

Page 5, “On” changed to “Oh” (Oh no, Reuben)

Page 11, “fashinoned” changed to “fashioned” (in the old-fashioned)

Page 15, superscript 24 changed to 21. (No, by hemlock!^{21})

Page 19, “going’” changed to “goin’” (goin’ to hang one for)

Page 22, “Hallelulah” changed to “Hallelujah” (Glory Hallelujah)

Back cover: “Chistmas” changed to “Christmas” (sing a beautiful Christmas)

End of Project Gutenberg's Christmas at Punkin Holler, by Elizabeth F. Guptill