Chapter 19

TIME: _six months later._ PLACE: _the vineyard._

* * * * *

THE THREE SONS. THE FRUIT MERCHANT.

* * * * *

[_The_ MERCHANT _enters the vineyard with the_ THREE SONS.]

MERCHANT. You say your grapes are ripe?

FIRST SON. They are ripe and ready to sell, sir.

SECOND SON. Come, now, and look at them.

[_They cross to the vines._]

MERCHANT. Why, I have never seen such grapes as these!

THIRD SON. We have never had such grapes before, sir.

MERCHANT. How fine and large they are!

FIRST SON. And sweet, too! Just taste one, sir!

MERCHANT (_eating a grape_). Are they all like these?

SECOND SON. Every vine bears just such grapes.

MERCHANT. I must have your grapes. I will give a pot of gold for them.

SONS. A pot of gold!

MERCHANT. Come, will you sell?

SONS. Aye, sir!

MERCHANT. Then to-morrow I will bring the pot of gold and take away the grapes.

[_He goes._]

SONS. A pot of gold!

FIRST SON. I wonder if that was father's pot of gold.

SECOND SON. I almost think it was.

THIRD SON. I wonder now, I wonder--

FIRST SON. No war horse for me! I will stay and dig again for gold!

SECOND SON. No prince's crown for me! I will stay and dig here too!

THIRD SON. I have found my purse of gold! I will stay and find another!

THE HARE AND THE HEDGEHOG

TIME: _one fine morning._ PLACE: _the farmer's cabbage field._

* * * * *

THE HARE. THE HEDGEHOG. THE HEDGEHOG'S WIFE.

* * * * *

[_The_ HEDGEHOG _and his_ WIFE _are walking in the field._]

HEDGEHOG. These cabbages are growing well.

WIFE. They are very fine indeed.

HEDGEHOG. We can feed on them all summer.

WIFE. Yes, if the hares will let us.

HEDGEHOG. Oh, there is enough for all of us, hares, hedgehogs, and farmer.

WIFE. Yes, if the hares will think that, too.

HEDGEHOG. Well, we will let them alone as we have always done.

WIFE. But they will not let us alone. Yesterday they called at me while I was eating here.

HEDGEHOG. What did they say to you?

WIFE. Oh, such things as "Short-legs," and "Duck-legs."

HEDGEHOG. Here comes one of them now!

WIFE. He is one who called at me. I'll hide till he goes by.

[_She hides among the cabbages. The_ HARE _enters._]

HEDGEHOG. Good-morning, sir.

HARE. Why do you speak to me?

HEDGEHOG. I always speak to neighbors, sir.

HARE. Speak to your own kind, then. I think myself too good for hedgehogs.

HEDGEHOG. Now that is strange.

HARE. There is nothing strange about it. Look at your silly little legs!

HEDGEHOG. They are quite as good as yours, sir.

HARE. As good as mine! Hear him! You can only walk with those legs, sir.

HEDGEHOG. I'll run a race with you this day.

HARE. Hear him! Hear him! Ha, ha!

HEDGEHOG. You may run in that furrow. I will run in this. We will see who gets to the field fence first.

HARE. Are you crazy?

HEDGEHOG. Come, come, let's begin the race!

HARE. Ha, ha! Well, I'll run with you. You ought to know just how silly your little duck-legs are.

HEDGEHOG. Let us go to this end of the furrow to begin.

HAKE. I will run to the brook and back while you are getting there.

HEDGEHOG. As you please.

(_The Hare runs off._)

Wife, wife, did you hear?

WIFE. I heard. Are you crazy?

HEDGEHOG. Go to the other end of this furrow, wife.

WIFE. And why should I do that?

HEDGEHOG. The hare will run in the other furrow. When he comes to your end, put up your head and say, "I am already here."

WIFE. Ha, ha! He will think that I am you.

HEDGEHOG. Exactly.

WIFE. Ha, ha, ha! I go, Mr. Hedgehog! I go! You may be short on legs, my dear, but you are long on brains.

[_She runs to other end of furrow. Mr. Hedgehog goes to his end._]

[_The_ HARE _enters._]

HARE. Well, are you ready?

HEDGEHOG. I am ready.

HARE. One, two, three, go!

[_The Hare runs swiftly. The Hedgehog sits. The Hare reaches the other end of his furrow. The Wife puts up her head._]

WIFE. I am already here.

HARE. What is this?

WIFE. I am already here.

HARE. We will try again! Are you ready?

WIFE. I am ready.

HARE. One, two, three, go!

[_The Hare runs swiftly. The Wife sits. The Hare reaches the other end of his furrow. Mr. Hedgehog puts up his head._]

HEDGEHOG. I am already here.

HARE. I cannot understand this.

HEDGEHOG. I am already here.

HARE. We will try again! Are you ready?

HEDGEHOG. I am ready.

HARE. One, two, three, go!

[_The Hare runs swiftly. Mr. Hedgehog sits. The Hare reaches the other end of his furrow. Mrs. Hedgehog puts up her head._]

WIFE. I am already here.

HARE. I cannot believe it!

WIFE. I am already here.

HARE. We will try again! Do you hear? We will try again.

WIFE. I am ready.

HARE. One, two, three, go!

[_The Hare runs swiftly. The Wife sits. The Hare reaches the other end of his furrow. Mr. Hedgehog puts up his head._]

HEDGEHOG. I am already here.

HARE. This is very, very strange!

HEDGEHOG. Shall we run again?

HARE. No, no! The race is yours, Neighbor Hedgehog. And will you please to call some day? I should be glad to see you.

HEDGEHOG. I shall be glad to come.

[_The Hare goes off wondering._]

WIFE (_running to meet Mr. Hedgehog_). You may be short on legs, my dear, but you are very, very long on brains.

FISHING ON DRY LAND

TIME: _long ago._ PLACE: _before the King's palace._

* * * * *

KING. PRINCE. QUEEN. LADIES. FARMER NIX. FARMER KNAVE. MANY OTHER FARMERS.

* * * * *

[FARMER NIX, FARMER KNAVE, _and the other_ FARMERS _have come with their wagons, for it is market day. Some of the wagons are drawn by horses and some by oxen._]

NIX. Have you seen my colt, sir?

A FARMER. I saw a colt run by not long ago.

SECOND FARMER. There is a colt with Farmer Knave's oxen.

NIX. I do not see him.

THIRD FARMER. He is lying down between them.

NIX. Ah, I see him now.

(_He goes to Farmer Knave._)

I have come for my colt, Farmer Knave.

KNAVE. Your colt?

NIX. Yes. There he is between your oxen.

KNAVE. He is my colt, sir.

NIX. How can he be your colt when he is mine?

KNAVE. I ask the same question, sir.

NIX. What do you mean?

KNAVE. How can the colt be yours when he is mine?

NIX. I'll have you before the judge, sir!

KNAVE. The judge shall speak to you, sir!

[_The_ PRINCE _comes from the castle._]

PRINCE. What is all this noise, sirs? What is all this noise, I say? The king sent me to ask.

NIX. Farmer Knave does claim my colt, Prince.

PRINCE. How is this, Farmer Knave?

KNAVE. I claim the colt because the colt is mine, Prince.

PRINCE. Now how is this, Farmer Nix?

NIX. The colt is mine, Prince.

KNAVE. The colt is mine I say!

NIX. I say the colt is mine!

PRINCE. Hush, Farmer Nix! Hush, Farmer Knave! I'll tell the king what both of you do claim. He will decide to whom the colt belongs.

[_The Prince goes._]

KNAVE. See how the colt lies between my oxen! Is not that proof that he is mine?

NIX. But who can tell what a colt will do?

[_The_ PRINCE _comes._]

PRINCE. Farmers, the king has decided. He says the colt belongs where it is now lying.

KNAVE. And he lies between my oxen.

PRINCE. That is proof enough, The colt belongs to you, Farmer Knave.

NIX. But, Prince--

PRINCE. Not another word! Go, now, with your wagons and horses and oxen! The queen comes out to walk. Go, all of you!

[_The Prince enters the castle. The farmers go, Nix last. The_ QUEEN _and her_ LADIES _come from the castle._]

QUEEN. Go bring Farmer Nix to me.

[_A Lady runs to Nix._]

LADY. The queen wants to see you, sir.

[_Nix goes to the Queen and bows._]

QUEEN. I heard all from the castle window. I know the colt is yours.

NIX. I thank you, my Queen, I thank you!

QUEEN. Now you must show the king that colts cannot belong to oxen, never have belonged to oxen, and never will belong to oxen.

NIX. I will go to him at once! I will tell him--

QUEEN. Not so fast! I said you must show the king. He would not let you tell him. No one ever dares to tell things to a king.

NIX. How can I show him?

QUEEN. You must think out the way. I cannot help you more.

NIX. I thank you, my Queen, I thank you.

QUEEN. The king comes out to walk soon.

NIX. I will return to show him.

[_Nix bows to the Queen and goes. The_ KING _and_ PRINCE _come from the castle._]

QUEEN. 'Tis a pleasant day to walk, dear King.

KING. Oh, 'tis very, very pleasant.

[_Enter_ Nix _with a fishing-net. He throws out the net and draws it in._]

QUEEN. Why, look you what that foolish man is doing!

KING. He throws out his net and draws it in! He acts just as if he were fishing.

QUEEN. Let's ask what he is doing.

KING. Come here, you foolish fellow! Come here, I say!

(NIX _comes to the King, but goes on with his fishing._)

Now what are you doing, sir?

NIX. I am fishing, fishing, fishing.

KING. How can you fish where is no water?

NIX. Fish can be found on land if colts belong to oxen.

KING. What is that, sir?

NIX. If colts belong to oxen, then fish should swim in dust.

KING. Well, well, that may be true! What do you think, dear Queen?

QUEEN. I think with you--it may be true.

NIX (_fishing_). If colts belong to oxen, then I will always fish in dust.

KING. Well, well, I think you may be right, sir!

(_Pause. The King thinks deeply._)

Yes, I am now sure that you are right, sir. Go get your colt from Farmer Knave. Go with him, Prince, and see to it. Now come, dear Queen, we'll walk about together, for 'tis a very pleasant day, 'tis very, very pleasant.

THE WISE MEN OF GOTHAM