Chapter 3

TIME: _two hours later_. PLACE: _the old farmhouse_.

* * * * *

THE GOODMAN. HIS WIFE.

* * * * *

[_Enter the_ GOODMAN, _carrying the sack. The_ WIFE _waits for him in the spare room, because he has been away._]

GOODMAN. Well, Wife, I've made the exchange.

WIFE. Ah, well, you always understand what you're about.

GOODMAN. I got a cow in exchange for the horse.

WIFE. Good! Now we shall have plenty of milk and butter and cheese on the table. That was a fine exchange!

GOODMAN. Yes, but I changed the cow for a sheep.

WIFE. Ah, better still! We have just enough grass for a sheep.--Ewe's milk and cheese! Woolen jackets and stockings! The cow could not give all those. How you think of everything!

GOODMAN. But I changed the sheep for a goose.

WIFE. Then we shall have roast goose to eat this year. You dear Goodman, you are always thinking of something to please me!

GOODMAN. But I gave away the goose for a fowl.

WIFE. A fowl? Well, that was a good exchange. The fowl will lay eggs and hatch them. We shall soon have a poultry-yard. Ah, this is just what I was wishing for!

GOODMAN. Yes, but I exchanged the fowl for a sack of rotten apples.

WIFE. My dear, good husband! Now, I'll tell you something. Do you know, almost as soon as you left me this morning, I began thinking of what I could give you nice for supper. I thought of bacon with eggs and sweet herbs.

GOODMAN. But we have no sweet herbs.

WIFE (_nodding_). For that reason, I went over to our neighbor's and begged her to lend me a handful.

GOODMAN. That was right; they have plenty.

WIFE (_nodding_). So I thought, but she said, "Lend? I have nothing to lend, not even a rotten apple." Now I can lend _her_ ten or the whole sackful. It makes me laugh to think of it. I am so glad.

GOODMAN. So you think what I did was right?

WIFE. What the Goodman does is always right.

THE CAT AND THE MOUSE

TIME: _perhaps this minute_. PLACE: _perhaps your own garret_.

* * * * *

MOTHER MOUSE. HER DAUGHTER, MISS MOUSE. THE CAT.

* * * * *

[MOTHER MOUSE _and_ MISS MOUSE _are in their spare room because Mother Mouse is getting ready for a journey. Miss Mouse helps her. The_ CAT _is outside, peeping now and then through the window, but so slyly that the mice do not see her._]

MOTHER MOUSE (_going_). Now mind you keep one eye on our grease-pot, child.

MISS MOUSE. That I will, dear mother!

MOTHER MOUSE. Let no one in,--no one! no one!

MISS MOUSE. No one, dear mother!

MOTHER MOUSE. I'll not be long away. Good-by, my child.

(_Starting out; stopping._)

Mind you show no one the grease-pot, child,--no one! no one!

Miss MOUSE. No one, dear mother!

[_Mother Mouse goes out of the front door._]

CAT (_calling through window_). Oh, Miss Mouse! Oh, Miss Mouse!

MISS MOUSE (_showing alarm_). Who calls?

CAT (_very sweetly_). Only I! Will you please let me in?

MISS MOUSE (_shaking head_). Mother said--

CAT (_interrupting quickly_). 'T is a matter of business!

MISS MOUSE (_shaking head_). But mother said--

CAT (_interrupting_). 'T is most important!

MISS MOUSE (_as before_). But mother said--

CAT (_interrupting_). I wish your advice--you are so clever!

MISS MOUSE (_showing she is pleased; starting to window_). Oh, do you truly think so?

CAT (_nodding_). Every one thinks so!

MISS MOUSE (_showing she is more pleased; going to the window_). Oh, do they, truly?

CAT. Oh, truly they do!

MISS MOUSE (_showing she is most pleased; opening window_). What else nice say they?

CAT (_jumping in_). That I'll tell you by and by.

(_Sniffing about._)

There must be a grease-pot about! Am I not right?

MISS MOUSE. Mother said--

CAT (_interrupting_). Only tell me if I be right! 'T will do no harm!

MISS MOUSE (_hesitating_). Well--then--yes. But 't is put away for our winter stores.

CAT (_nodding_). Just so! Now, I can't decide where to keep my grease-pot when I have bought one. Won't you give me your advice? You are so wise.

MISS MOUSE. Do you truly think I'm wise?

CAT (_nodding_). Aye, and if you will tell me where to keep my grease-pot when I have bought it, I'll tell you something more.

MISS MOUSE (_greatly pleased_). About me?

CAT (_nodding_). Yes,--what every one says about your being so beautiful. But first I must know where to keep my grease-pot.

MISS MOUSE. Then listen--you must keep it, when you have bought it, in the northwest corner.

[_The Cat runs quickly to the northwest corner._]

MISS MOUSE (_in alarm_). Come away! Come away!

CAT. Why, here is your grease-pot!

MISS MOUSE (_as before_). Come away, I say!

CAT (_looking into the pot_). Truly, the fat is kept hard and cool here.

MISS MOUSE. I pray you come away! Mother does not so much as let me look into it. 'T is not yet time, she says.

CAT (_looking again into pot_). Exactly!

(_She leaves the pot and joins Miss Mouse._)

'T is just what I'll tell my kittens about my grease-pot when I have bought it.

MISS MOUSE. Ah, then you have kittens at home?

CAT (_nodding_). Such beautiful kittens! The eldest is white, with brown marks.

MISS MOUSE. He must be charming!

CAT. I've a mind to tell you his name. First, though, run out to see if your dear mother is not coming.

[_Miss Mouse nods and runs out. The Cat quickly creeps to the grease-pot and licks the top off. She crosses to the window just as_ MISS MOUSE _returns._]

MISS MOUSE. Mother is nowhere to be seen. Now what did you name your eldest child?

CAT. Top-off.

MISS MOUSE. Top-off? Why, that is a curious name! Is it common in your family?

CAT. Oh, no! My second child has a white ring around his neck.

MISS MOUSE. Remarkable!

CAT. Very!

MISS MOUSE. What did you name him?

CAT. I gave him an unusual name. I will tell you what it is. First, though, run out to see if your dear mother is coming.

[_Miss Mouse nods and runs out. The Cat creeps to the grease-pot and eats half the fat; then crosses to window._ MISS MOUSE _returns._]

MISS MOUSE. Mother is nowhere to be seen. Now what did you name your second child?

CAT. Half-out.

Miss MOUSE. Half-out? I never heard such a name! 'T is not in the calendar, I'm sure.

CAT. What does that matter, if it pleases me? Now the last child is really a wonder. He is quite black and has little white claws, but not a single white hair on his body.

MISS MOUSE. What have you named him?

CAT. I'm afraid that will please you no better than the others, but still I will tell you. First, though, run to see if your dear mother is not coming.

[_Miss Mouse nods and runs out. The Cat creeps to the pot and eats all the fat. She then crosses to the window._]

CAT. What one begins one must needs finish.

[MISS MOUSE _returns._]

MISS MOUSE. Mother is nowhere to be seen. Now tell me what you named your youngest child.

CAT. All-out.

MISS MOUSE. All-out? Why, that is more curious than the others. I have never seen it in print.

CAT (_glaring at Miss Mouse_). You never will!

MISS MOUSE (_frightened_). What do you mean?

CAT (_preparing to spring_). I mean to put you down with the fat!

MISS MOUSE. Help! help!

[_Enter_ MOTHER MOUSE _just as the Cat clutches her daughter and jumps out of the window with her. Mother Mouse crosses and looks into the empty grease-pot._]

MOTHER MOUSE (_sighing sadly_). 'T was ever thus! Show your grease-pot, and you'll go with it!

THE GIRL WHO TROD ON THE LOAF