Chapter 22

TIME: _the next morning_. PLACE: _same as Scene I_.

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FIRST COUNTRYMAN. SECOND COUNTRYMAN. FIRST CITY WAG. SECOND CITY WAG.

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[_The_ WAGS _are seen peeping around the corner._]

FIRST WAG (_softly_). They are sound asleep.

SECOND WAG (_softly_). Then come.

[_They enter and throw the two baskets of gourds over the wall. They then retire around the corner, peeping as before._]

FIRST COUNTRYMAN (_waking; shaking Second Countryman_). Wake up! Wake up!

[_Each yawns; stretches; throws off his blanket; arises._]

FIRST COUNTRYMAN (_remembering_). Ah, the gourds!

[_Each looks at his ankle, then at the other's ankle._]

SECOND COUNTRYMAN. How's this!

FIRST COUNTRYMAN. Did we not tie gourds around our ankles?

SECOND COUNTRYMAN (_nodding_). Why, surely we did.

FIRST COUNTRYMAN (_looking about_). Did we not have two baskets of gourds with us?

SECOND COUNTRYMAN (_nodding_). Surely; there in the corner.

FIRST COUNTRYMAN (_holding up foot to which flag is tied_). Is this a gourd or is it not a gourd?

SECOND COUNTRYMAN. Of a surety it is a flag.

(_Holding up his foot with flag._)

And if this be not a gourd, keep thy silence.

[_The First Countryman stares at the flag, placing his finger on his closed lips._]

SECOND COUNTRYMAN. Then it hath indeed happened!

FIRST COUNTRYMAN. What hath happened?

SECOND COUNTRYMAN. The dreadful thing foretold by the citizens. I am not I! Thou art not thou!

FIRST COUNTRYMAN (_trembling with fear_). How can that be?

SECOND COUNTRYMAN. I know not. I only know that it is.

FIRST COUNTRYMAN (_weeping_). I cannot think I am not myself!

SECOND COUNTRYMAN (_weeping_). Thou needst must think it, whether thou wouldst or no.

FIRST COUNTRYMAN. Dost thou indeed think thou art some other person?

SECOND COUNTRYMAN. If I were myself, would not the gourd still be around my ankle?

FIRST COUNTRYMAN. Then who art thou? And who am I?

SECOND COUNTRYMAN. Alas! I know not.

[_Enter the_ WAGS.]

FIRST COUNTRYMAN (_joyfully_). Here come those who will know whether we are ourselves!

[_The Wags pretend not to know the Countrymen who are bowing before them. They pass on._]

SECOND COUNTRYMAN. Stop, good sirs!

FIRST COUNTRYMAN. A word with thee!

[_The Wags stop._]

SECOND COUNTRYMAN. Dost thou not know us?

FIRST WAG. I have not that pleasure.

FIRST COUNTRYMAN. Thou didst talk with us but yester-eve!

SECOND WAG. Some mistake, I fear, my good man.

[_The Wags start off._]

SECOND COUNTRYMAN (_weeping_). Wait! I pray thee, wait!

(_The Wags stop._)

Canst thou not tell us who we are?

FIRST WAG. Do you not know yourselves?

SECOND COUNTRYMAN. Alas! we are not ourselves.

FIRST COUNTRYMAN. Thou wouldst know us were we as we were once.

SECOND WAG. Perhaps those flags will solve the riddle.

FIRST WAG. True enough; let us look at them.

[_The Countrymen remove flags and hand them to Wags, who look at them intently._]

SECOND WAG (_mysteriously_). Can it be?

FIRST WAG. It is! It is!

FIRST COUNTRYMAN. Eh?

SECOND COUNTRYMAN. Eh?

SECOND WAG (_to Countrymen_). Your pardon! I do crave your pardon!

FIRST WAG (_taking a ring from his finger; turning to Second Countryman_). Please to accept this ring. I shall then know I am forgiven for not recognizing you at first.

SECOND COUNTRYMAN (_accepting ring; putting it on the first finger of his right hand_). Why, yes, I forgive thee.

SECOND WAG (_to First Countryman, taking off his gold chain_). Please to accept this chain. By that I shall know I too am forgiven.

FIRST COUNTRYMAN (_accepting chain; putting it on_). Thou art forgiven. Now tell me what great person I have become.

SECOND WAG (_gravely_). Jest with us no more!

FIRST WAG. We go now to announce your arrival to the Lord Mayor.

SECOND WAG. Presently, we will return. Await us here.

[_They go, laughing aside._]

FIRST COUNTRYMAN. Dost thou know, I have always felt that I was really a great person. Hast thou not always noticed something unusual about me?

SECOND COUNTRYMAN. I cannot say that I have. There is, however, certainly something wonderful about me. I have noticed it for a long time. Hast thou not felt it when in my company?

FIRST COUNTRYMAN. I have not.

SECOND COUNTRYMAN (_indignantly_). Thou hast not?

FIRST COUNTRYMAN. Never! thou silly goose!

[_The Second Countryman snatches First Countryman's chain and throws it over the wall._]

SECOND COUNTRYMAN. Mind how thou callest me names, thou booby!

FIRST COUNTRYMAN (_tearing off Second Countryman's ring and throwing it over the wall_). Silly goose!

SECOND COUNTRYMAN. I will now depart for my home. I do not desire thy company.

FIRST COUNTRYMAN. I likewise will return, and likewise I wish to journey alone.

[_They take up their blankets and discover the gourds._]

FIRST COUNTRYMAN. Eh?

SECOND COUNTRYMAN. Eh?

FIRST COUNTRYMAN. Let us tie them around our ankles. We may then discover whether we are ourselves.

[_They tie the gourds around their ankles._]

SECOND COUNTRYMAN (_joyfully_). I am myself!

FIRST COUNTRYMAN (_joyfully_). And I am myself!

SECOND COUNTRYMAN. Come, let us journey back together.

[_They go out. Pause. Enter the_ WAGS. _They remain at entrance, not knowing Countrymen have gone._]

FIRST WAG (_whispering_). Do you think the musicians should follow them?

SECOND WAG (_whispering_). No, they should follow the music. What a joke it is!

[_They look around and discover that the Countrymen have gone._]

FIRST WAG (_sadly_). My ring!

SECOND WAG (_sadly_). My chain!

THE MAN AND THE ALLIGATOR