Part 9

"Culture implies all which gives a mind possession of its powers."

EMERSON.

"There are very, very few from whom we get that higher, deeper, broader help which it is the prerogative of true excellence in judgment to bestow: help to discern, through the haste and insistence of the present, what is its real meaning and its just demand; help to give due weight to what is reasonable, however unreasonably it may be stated or defended; help to reverence alike the sacredness of a great cause and the sacredness of each individual life, to adjust the claims of general rules and special equity; help to carry with one conscientiously, on the journey towards decision, all the various thoughts that ought to tell upon the issue; help to keep consistency from hardening to obstinacy, and common sense from sinking into time-serving; help to think out one's duty as in a still, pure air, sensitive to all true signs and voices of this world, and yet unshaken by its storms."

_Studies in the Christian Character_, Bishop PAGET.

Sound Judgment

JUNE 21

"We are all inclined to judge of others as we find them. Our estimate of a character always depends much on the manner in which the character affects our own interests and passions. We find it difficult to think well of those by whom we are thwarted or depressed, and we are ready to admit every excuse for the vices of those who are useful or agreeable to us."

MACAULAY.

"To judge is to see clearly, to care for what is just, and therefore to be impartial,--more exactly, to be disinterested,--more exactly still, to be impersonal."

_Amiel's Journal._

"Of all human faculties there is none which more enriches our lives than a sound moral judgment. Genius is rarer and more wonderful. But this surpasses even genius in the fact that it is not only in itself a virtue, but the fruitful mother of virtues. It is as Aristotle said, 'Given a sound judgment and all the virtues will follow in its train.'

* * * * *

"If the moral judgment is to be sound it must presuppose character, faculty to deliberate, and enlightenment."

_The Making of Character_, Professor MACCUNN.

Sound Judgment

JUNE 22

"That is a penetrating sarcasm of George Eliot's in 'Amos Barton': 'It is so much easier to say that a thing is black, than to discriminate the particular shade of brown, blue, or green to which it really belongs. It is so much easier to make up your mind that your neighbour is good for nothing, than to enter into all the circumstances that would oblige you to modify that opinion.' Everybody needs the suggestion that is embodied in the above remark. Our judgments of men are always more or less defective. But it is the man who prides himself on his outspokenness, the man who thinks it would be cowardice to withhold an opinion of men and things, particularly if he is charged with the duty of public utterance, that needs to learn that blue or brown or green is not black, and that in nothing is so much discrimination needed as in the diagnosis of character."

"Never does a man portray his own character more vividly than in his manner of portraying another."

RICHTER.

Sound Judgment

JUNE 23

"It hardly can seem strange that excellence in judgment is thus rare if we go on to think of the manifold discipline that it needs.

"For we cannot deny that even physical conditions tend at least to tell on it; and most of us may have to own that there are days on which we know that we had better distrust the view we take of things. It is good counsel that a man should, if he has the chance, reconsider after his holiday any important decision that he was inclined to make just before it; that he should appeal from his tired to his refreshed self; and men need to deal strictly with the body, and to bring it into subjection, not only lest its appetites grow riotous, but also lest it trouble, with moods and miseries of its own, the exercise of judgment.

"And then, with the calmness of sound health, or the control that a strong and vigilant will can sometimes gain over the encroachments of health that is not sound, there must also be the insight and resourcefulness of learning; that power to recognise, and weigh, and measure, and forecast, which comes of long watching how things move; the power that grows by constant thoughtfulness in study or in life; the distinctive ability of those who, in Hooker's phrase, are 'diligent observers of circumstances, the loose regard whereof is the nurse of vulgar folly.'"

_Studies in the Christian Character_, Bishop PAGET.

Harsh Judgment

JUNE 24

"How often we judge unjustly when we judge harshly. The fret and temper we despise may have its rise in the agony of some great unsuspected self-sacrifice, or in the endurance of unavowed, almost intolerable pain. Whoso judges harshly is sure to judge amiss."

CHRISTINA ROSSETTI.

"We meet and mingle, we mark men's speech; We judge by a word or a fancied slight; We give our fellows a mere glance each, Then brand them for ever black or white.

"Meanwhile God's patience is o'er us all, He probes for motives, He waits for years; No moment with Him is mean or small, And His scales are turned by the weight of tears."

Judging

JUNE 25

"Perhaps it were better for most of us to complain less of being misunderstood, and to take more care that we do not misunderstand other people. It ought to give us pause at a time to remember that each one has a stock of cut-and-dry judgments on his neighbours, and that the chances are that most of them are quite erroneous. What our neighbour really is we may never know, but we may be pretty certain that he is not what we have imagined, and that many things we have thought of him are quite beside the mark. What he does we have seen, but we have no idea what may have been his thoughts and intentions. The mere surface of his character may be exposed, but of the complexity within we have not the faintest idea. People crammed with self-consciousness and self-conceit are often praised as humble, while shy and reserved people are judged to be proud. Some whose whole life is one subtle studied selfishness get the name of self-sacrifice, and other silent heroic souls are condemned for want of humanity."

_The Potter's Wheel_, Dr. JOHN WATSON.

"To weigh other minds by our own is the false scale by which the greater number of us miscalculate all human actions and most human characters."

JOHN OLIVER HOBBES.

Biassed Judgments

JUNE 26

"How difficult it is to submit anything to the opinion of another person without perverting his judgment by the way in which we put the matter to him. If one says, 'For my part I think it beautiful,' or 'I think it obscure,' or the like, one inclines the hearer's imagination to that opinion, or incites it to take the contrary view."

PASCAL.

"Human speech conveys different meanings to differently biassed minds."

_Pastor Pastorum_, HENRY LATHAM.

"We judge of others by what we see in them: and, what is more perilous still, we are tempted to judge of ourselves by what others can see in us."

Bishop WESTCOTT.

Judging

JUNE 27

"The sinner's own fault? So it was. If every own fault found us out, Dogged us and hedged us round about, What comfort should we take because Not half our due we thus wrung out?

"Clearly his own fault. Yet I think My fault in part, who did not pray But lagged and would not lead the way. I, haply, proved his missing link. God help us both to mind and pray."

CHRISTINA G. ROSSETTI.

"She had the clear judicial mind which must inevitably see the tragic pitifulness of things. She had thought too much to be able to indulge in the primitive luxury of unqualified condemnation."

_In Connection with the De Willoughby Claim_,

Mrs. HODGSON BURNETT.

"She was one of those lowly women who apply the severity born of their creed to themselves, and spend only the love born of the indwelling Spirit upon their neighbour."

G. MACDONALD.

Justice and Mercy

JUNE 28

"It is not even, amongst men, the best and purest who are found to be the severest censors and judges of others. Quickness to detect and expose the weakness and frailties of a fellow-man, harshness in condemning them, mercilessness in punishing them, are not the characteristics which experience would lead us to expect in a very high and noble nature.... To be gentle, pitying, forbearing to the fallen, to be averse to see or hear of human faults and vices, and when it is impossible not to see them to be pained and grieved by them, to be considerate of every extenuating circumstance that will mitigate their culpability, to delight in the detection of some redeeming excellence even in the vilest.... Is not all this the sort of conduct which, as experience teaches us, betokens, not moral apathy or indifference, but the nature which is purest and most elevated beyond all personal sympathy with vice.... If, then, human goodness is the more merciful in proportion as it approaches nearer to perfection ... might we not conclude that when goodness becomes absolutely perfect, just then will mercy reach its climax and become absolutely unlimited?"

Principal CAIRD.

"Search thine own heart. What paineth thee In others, in thyself may be; All dust is frail, all flesh is weak; Be thou the true man thou dost seek."

WHITTIER.

Judging

JUNE 29

"It is my way when I observe any instance of folly, any queer or absurd illusion, straightway to look for something of the same type in myself, feeling sure that amid all differences there will be a certain correspondence; just as there is more or less correspondence in the natural history even of continents widely apart, and of islands in opposite zones....

"Introspection which starts with the purpose of finding out one's own absurdities is not likely to be very mischievous, yet of course it is not free from dangers any more than breathing is, or the other functions that keep us alive or active. To judge of others by oneself is in its most innocent meaning the briefest expression for our only method of knowing mankind; yet, we perceive, it has come to mean in many cases either the vulgar mistake which reduces every man's value to the very low figure at which the valuer himself happens to stand; or else, the amiable illusion of the higher nature misled by a too generous construction of the lower. One cannot give a recipe for wise judgment: it resembles appropriate muscular action, which is attained by the myriad lessons in nicety of balance and of aim that only practice can give."

GEORGE ELIOT.

Contemptuousness

JUNE 30

"Our Lord not only _told_ men that they were the children of God, that they should strive after their Father's likeness, and that they might approach nearer and nearer to being perfect as He is perfect: but, what was more than this, in every word He spake,--whether of teaching, or reproof, or expostulation, or in His passing words to those who received His mercies,--He _treated_ them as God's children. Man, as man, has in His eyes a right to respect. Anger we find with our Lord often, as also surprise at slowness of heart, indignation at hypocrisy, and at the Rabbinical evasions of the Law; but never in our Lord's words or looks do we find personal disdain. Towards no human being does He show contempt. The scribe would have trodden the rabble out of existence; but there is no such thing as rabble in our Lord's eyes. The master, in the parable, asks concerning the tree, which is unproductively exhausting the soil, why cumbers it the ground; but it is not to be rooted up, till all has been tried. There it stands, and mere existence gives it claims, for all that exists is the Father's."

_Pastor Pastorum_, HENRY LATHAM.

"Tennyson was very grand on contemptuousness. It was, he said, a sure sign of intellectual littleness. Simply to despise, nearly always meant not to understand. Pride and contempt were specially characteristic of barbarians. Real civilisation taught human beings to understand each other better, and must therefore lessen contempt. It is a little or immature or uneducated mind which readily despises. One who has travelled and knows the world in its length and breadth, respects far more views and standpoints other than his own."

_Tennyson--A Memoir_, by his Son.

False Impressions

JULY 1

"There are thousands and thousands of little untruths that hum and buzz and sting in society, which are too small to be brushed or driven away. They are in the looks, they are in the inflections and tones of the voice, they are in the actions, they are in reflections rather than in direct images that are represented. They are methods of producing impressions that are false, though every means by which they are produced is strictly true. There are little unfairnesses between man and man, that are said to be minor matters and that are small things; there are little unjust judgments and detractions; there are petty violations of conscience; there are ten thousand of these flags of passions in men which are called foibles or weaknesses, but which eat like moths. They take away the temper, they take away magnanimity and generosity, they take from the soul its enamel and its polish. Men palliate and excuse them, but that has nothing to do with their natural effect on us. They waste and destroy us, and that, too, in the soul's silent and hidden parts."

HENRY WARD BEECHER.

"A lie which is half a truth Is ever the blackest of lies."

TENNYSON.

Truth

JULY 2

"Truth is the great mark at which we ought to aim in all things--truth in thought, truth in expression, truth in work. Those who habitually sacrifice truth in small things will find it difficult to pay her the respect they should do in great things."

Lord IDDESLEIGH.

"Stand upright, speak thy thought, declare The truth thou hast that all may share. Be bold, proclaim it everywhere, They only live who dare."

Sir LEWIS MORRIS.

"The mind can only repose upon the stability of truth."

Dr. JOHNSON.

Truthfulness

JULY 3

"Be profoundly honest. Never dare to say ... through ardent excitement or conformity to what you know you are expected to say, one word which at the moment when you say it, you do not believe. It would cut down the range of what you say, perhaps, but it would endow every word that was left with the force of ten."

PHILLIPS BROOKS.

"Be honest with yourself, whatever the temptation; say nothing to others that you do not think, and play no tricks with your own mind. Of all the evil spirits abroad at this hour in this world, insincerity is the most dangerous."

J. A. FROUDE.

"Truthfulness is the foundation of all personal excellence. It exhibits itself in conduct. It is rectitude, truth in action, and shines through every word and deed."

SAMUEL SMILES.

Accuracy

JULY 4

"We always weaken what we exaggerate."

LA HARPE.

"It is no great advantage to have a lively wit if exactness be wanting. The perfection of a clock does not consist in its going fast, but in its keeping good time."

VAUVENARGUES.

"After much vehement talk about 'the veracities,' will come utterly unveracious accounts of things and people--accounts made unveracious by the use of emphatic words where ordinary words alone are warranted: pictures of which the outlines are correct, but the lights and shades and colours are doubly and trebly as strong as they should be."

HERBERT SPENCER.

Truthfulness

JULY 5

"It takes two to speak truth--one to speak and another to hear."

THOREAU.

"Truth of intercourse is something more difficult than to refrain from open lies. It is possible to avoid falsehood and yet not tell the truth. It is not enough to answer formal questions. To reach the truth by yea and nay communications implies a questioner with a share of inspiration, such as is often found in mutual love. _Yea_ and _nay_ mean nothing; the meaning must have been related in the question. Many words are often necessary to convey a very simple statement; for in this sort of exercise we never hit the gold; the most that we can hope is by many arrows, more or less far off on different sides, to indicate, in the course of time, for what target we are aiming, and after an hour's talk, back and forward, to convey the purport of a single principle or a single thought."

_Virginibus Puerisque_, R. L. STEVENSON.

Truthfulness

JULY 6

"In very truth lying is a hateful and accursed vice. It is words alone that distinguish us from the brute creation, and knit us to each other. If we did but feel proper horror of it, and the fearful consequences that spring from such a habit, we would pursue it with fire and sword, and with far more justice than other crimes. I observe that parents take pleasure in correcting their children for slight faults, which make little impression on the character, and are of no real consequence. Whereas lying, in my opinion, and obstinacy, though in a less degree, are vices, the rise and progress of which ought to be particularly watched and counteracted; these grow with their growth, and when once the tongue has got a _wrong set, it is impossible to put it straight again_. Whence we see men, otherwise of honourable natures, slaves to this vice. If falsehood had, like truth, only one face, we should be on more equal terms with it, for we should consider the contrary to what the liar said as certain; but the reverse of truth has a hundred thousand forms, and is a field of boundless extent."

MONTAIGNE.

"Every violation of truth is not only a sort of suicide in the liar, but is a stab at the health of human society."

EMERSON.

Truthfulness

JULY 7

"The cruellest lies are often told in silence. A man may have sat in a room for hours and not opened his teeth, and yet come out of that room a disloyal friend or a vile calumniator. And how many loves have perished because, from pride, or spite, or diffidence, or that unmanly shame which withholds a man from daring to betray emotion, a lover, at the critical point of the relation, has but hung his head and held his tongue? And, again, a lie may be told by a truth, or a truth conveyed through a lie. Truth to facts is not always truth to sentiment; and part of the truth, as often happens in answer to a question, may be the foulest calumny. A fact may be an exception; but the feeling is the law, and it is that which you must neither garble nor belie. The whole tenor of a conversation is a part of the meaning of each separate statement; the beginning and the end define and travesty the intermediate conversation. You never speak to God; you address a fellow-man, full of his own tempers: and to tell truth, rightly understood, is not to state the true facts, but to convey a true impression; truth in spirit, not truth to letter, is the true veracity."

_Virginibus Puerisque_, R. L. STEVENSON.

"Truth is violated by falsehood, and it may be equally outraged by silence."

AMMAN.

Gossip

JULY 8

"Gossip is a beast of prey that does not wait for the death of the creature it devours."

_Diana of the Crossways_, G. MEREDITH.

"Give to a gracious message A host of tongues; but let ill tidings tell Themselves when they be felt."

SHAKESPEARE.

"Let evil words die as soon as they're spoken."

GEORGE ELIOT.

"If there is much art in speaking, there is no less in keeping silence. There is an eloquent silence; it serves to praise and to condemn: there is a scornful silence: and there is a respectful silence."

LA ROCHEFOUCAULD.

Back-biting

JULY 9

"Hear as little as you possibly can to the prejudice of others; believe nothing of the kind unless you are forced to believe it; never circulate, nor approve of those who circulate, loose reports; moderate as far as you can the censure of others; always believe that if the other side were heard a very different account would be given of the matter."

_Everyday Christian Life_, Dean FARRAR.

"We must be as courteous to a man as we are to a picture, which we are willing to give the advantage of a good light."

EMERSON.

"Refrain your tongue from back-biting; for there is no word so secret that shall go for nought, and the mouth that belieth, slayeth the soul."

WISDOM i. 2.

Gossip

JULY 10

"When people run about to disseminate some scrap of news which they alone possess, the result is not usually beneficial either to character or to mind."

_Pastor Pastorum_, HENRY LATHAM.

"Slander meets with no regard from noble minds, Only the base believe what the base only utter."

"No word, once spoken, returneth Even if uttered unwillingly-- Shall God excuse our rashness? That which is done, that abides."

CHARLES KINGSLEY.

Egotism

July 11

"Above all things, let us avoid speaking too often about ourselves, and referring to our own experiences. Nothing is more disagreeable than a man who is constantly quoting himself."

LA ROCHEFOUCAULD.

"The pest of society is egotists."

EMERSON.

"Avoid the personal view, the small view, the critical and fault-finding view. Run away from gossip as from a pestilence, and keep in your soul great ideals and ideals to solace your solitude. They will drive out petty worries, conceits and thoughts of carking care."

ADA C. SWEET.

Conversation

JULY 12

"The etiquette of conversation consists as much in listening politely as in talking agreeably."

H. A.

"The reason why so few persons are agreeable in conversation is that every one thinks more about what he shall say than about what others are saying, and because one cannot well be a good listener when one is eager to speak."

LA ROCHEFOUCAULD.

"I am an enemy to long explanations; they deceive either the maker or the hearer, generally both."

GOETHE.

Conversation

JULY 13

"The tone of good conversation is flowing and natural; it is neither heavy nor frivolous; it is learned without pedantry, lively without noise, polished without equivocation. It is neither made up of lectures nor epigrams. Those who really converse, reason without arguing, joke without punning, skilfully unite wit and reason, maxims and sallies, ingenious raillery and severe morality. They speak of everything in order that every one may have something to say: they do not investigate too closely, for fear of wearying: questions are introduced as if by-the-bye, and are treated with rapidity; precision leads to elegance, each one giving his opinion, and supporting it with few words. No one attacks wantonly another's opinion, no one supports his own obstinately. They discuss in order to enlighten themselves, and leave off discussing where dispute would begin: every one gains information, every one recreates himself, and all go away contented; nay, the sage himself may carry away from what he has heard matter worthy of silent meditation."

Argument

JULY 14

"Argument is always a little dangerous. It often leads to coolness and misunderstandings. You may gain your argument and lose your friend, which is probably a bad bargain. If you must argue, admit all you can, but try to show that some point has been overlooked. Very few people know when they have had the worst of an argument, and if they do, they do not like it. Moreover, if they know they are beaten, it does not follow that they are convinced. Indeed it is perhaps hardly going too far to say that it is very little use trying to convince any one by argument. State your case as clearly and concisely as possible, and if you shake his confidence in his own opinion it is as much as you can expect. It is the first step gained."

Lord AVEBURY.

"Speak fitly, or be silent wisely."

GEORGE HERBERT.

"After speech silence is the greatest power in the world."

LACORDAIRE.

"It is better to remain silent than to speak the truth ill-humouredly, and so spoiling an excellent dish by covering it with bad sauce."

ST. FRANCIS DE SALES.

Argument

JULY 15

"When opposition of any kind is necessary, drop all colour of emotion out of it and let it be seen in the white light of truth."