Business Correspondence, Vol. 1: How to Write a Business Letter
Chapter 23
_Selling goods is considered the biggest problem in the business world. Hard as it is to close a deal with the prospect right before you, it is infinitely harder to get his order when he is miles away and you must depend upon a type-written sheet to interest him in your proposition sufficiently to buy your goods. Methods that have succeeded are described in this chapter and samples of order-bringing letters are given_
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The letter that is sent out unaided to make its own approach, open its own canvass and either complete a sale or pave the way to a sale may be called "the original sales letter." There has been no inquiry, no preliminary introduction of any kind. The letter is simply the substitute for the salesman who voluntarily seeks out his own prospect, presents his proposition and tries to land an order.
Such a letter undertakes a big task. It has a more difficult mission than the personal salesman, for it cannot alter its canvass on the spot to suit the prospect's mood. It must have its plan complete before it goes into the mail. It must be calculated to grip the attention, impel a reading, prompt a favorable decision and get back, in the return envelope, an order or at least a request for further information.
The letter that can do that, a letter so clever and so convincing that it makes a man a thousand miles away put his hand into his pocket, take out his hard earned cash and buy a money order; or makes the shrewd man at the desk take up his pen, write a check and send it for the goods you have to sell, is a better employee than your star salesman because it gets the order at a fraction of the cost. And the man who can write the letter that will do that is a power in the business world--his capacity is practically unlimited.
Original sales letters are of two kinds: those that endeavor to perform the complete operation and secure the order and those that are intended merely as the first of a follow-up series or campaign. Which to use will depend upon the nature and cost of your proposition. A simple, low-priced article may be sold with a single letter--the margin of profit may not warrant more than that. On an expensive, complicated article you cannot hope to do more in the initial letter than win your prospect's interest, or possibly start him toward the dealer who sells your goods.
Consider first the former. You are to write a single letter and make it an attention-getting, interest-winning, complete, convincing, order-bringing medium. There is no better way to do this than to put yourself in the position of the salesman who must do all these things in a single interview. You really must do more than the salesman, but this is the best way to get in your own mind the proper attitude toward your prospect.
Say to yourself, "I am now going into this man's office. He does not know me and does not know I am coming. This is the only chance I have to see him and I shall probably never see him again. I must concentrate all my knowledge of my proposition on this one selling talk and must tell him everything I can about it that will make him want to buy. I must say it in such a way that he will clearly understand; I must give him a good reason for buying today and I must make it easy for him to do so."
Then picture yourself in his office, seated beside his desk and proceed to _talk_ to him. Above all, keep in mind that you are talking to _one_ man. No matter if your letter is to go to ten thousand people, each letter is individual. Remember, it goes to one person. So when you write it, aim directly at one person.
And _see_ him in your mind's eye. Get as clear an idea as you can of the class your letter is going to and then picture the average man in that class. The best way is to pick out some friend or acquaintance who most nearly represents the class you want to reach and write the letter to him. You'll be surprised how much easier it is when you have a definite person in mind. And your letter will then be sure to have that much desired "personal touch."
Of prime importance in this single sales letter is the close, the clincher. Your one big purpose is to get the order, and no matter how clever you may be three-fourths of the way through, if the letter falls short of clinching the order in the end, it may as well not have been written at all.
Here is an excellent example of one of these complete letters. Note particularly the summing up, the guarantee offer and how easy the writer makes it to order:
HOW TO GET A POSITION AND HOW TO HOLD IT
Is the title of a little book that business men and editors say is the most sensible and helpful thing ever printed on its subject Contains the boiled-down experience of years. Written by an expert correspondent and high-salaried writer of business literature who has hunted positions for himself, who has been all along the road up to places where he, in turn, has advertised for employees, read their letters, interviewed and engaged them--who is now with a company employing 2700 of both sexes and all grades from the $3 a week office boy to a $75 a week specialist.
HOW TO GET A POSITION AND HOW TO HOLD IT treats of what one should be able to do before expecting to find a good position; takes up the matter of changes; advises how long to hold the old position; tells what kind of a new position to try for; explains the various ways of getting positions; suggests how the aid of prominent people can be enlisted; shows the kind of endorsements that count; teaches how to _write letters of application that COMMAND attention_; gives hints on preparing for the interview and on how to make the best impression; tells what should be done when you are selected for a position and take up your duties; deals with the question of salary before and after the engagement; with the bugbear of experience; the matter of hours; and gives pages of horse-sense on a dozen other important topics. The clear instructions for writing strong letters of application, and the model letters shown, are alone worth the price of the book. Not one in a hundred--even among the well- educated--can write a letter of application that convinces.
_How many of yours fail?_ The engagement usually depends on the interview; and the interview cannot, as a rule, be obtained without the impressive letter. Consequently, the letter is of tremendous importance.
If you carry out the suggestions set down in plain language in this little book, you can hardly fail to land a position. And I am offering the book for _twenty-five cents a copy_. Just think of it! The principles and plans outlined in its pages have been the means of securing high-salaried positions for its author and for others, and this valuable information is yours for the price of five car rides.
This is my offer: Send me a 25-cent piece in the enclosed coin-card, or twenty-five cents in stamps, and I'll mail you a copy of HOW TO GET A POSITION AND HOW TO HOLD IT. If, after reading the book, you do not feel it is worth many times its cost, just tell me so and return the copy in good condition. I'll send your money back without any quibbling. Could any offer be fairer?
Order today--now. Next week there may come to your notice an opening that may be the chance of a lifetime--when my little book will be worth its weight in gold. Besides, it tells how to create openings when none are advertised. You need not write me a letter. Just write your full name and address on the back of this sheet and wrap your stamps up in it, or put your name and address on the coin-card after you have enclosed the 25-cent piece. I'll understand.
Write plainly. I am selling the book so cheaply that I cannot afford to have any copies go astray in the mails.
Yours truly, [Signature: Charles Black]
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Now as to the other kind of original sales letter--the one that is merely the first of a series of three or more letters skillfully planned to build up interest until the climax, the purchasing point is reached. This letter is really a combination of the two kinds. If you can land the order with the first letter, you want to, of course. But you know you can expect to do this only in a small percentage of cases. So while you must put into the initial letter enough information to make your proposition clear and must give at least one good reason for buying, you must keep good convincing sales talk in reserve for the succeeding letters. And you must plan this first letter so that the re-enforcements to follow will logically support your introduction.
This can best be illustrated by a clever first letter from a very successful series. The manufacturer of a $5 fireless cooker planned a letter campaign to induce hardware dealers and department stores to buy a stock of his product.
The first sales letter of the series scored strongly on one or two points and at the same time paved the way for the second letter:
Dear Sir:
Are you ready for the woman who wants a fireless cooker but can't pay ten or fifteen dollars?
The aggressive advertising done by the manufacturers of fireless cookers and the immense amount of reading matter published in women's magazines about the fireless method of cooking has stirred up a big demand.
But just figure out how many of your customers can't afford to pay $10, $12 or $15.
Think of the sales that could be made with a thoroughly reliable cooker at $5--one that you could feel safe in standing back of.
It's here!
We had the $15-idea, and we worked out the prettiest cooker you ever saw at any price. But we got together one day and figured out that the big market was for a low-priced cooker that every woman could buy.
How to get a Jenkins-quality cooker, one that a retailer would be proud to sell, down to the retail price of $5 was the question. But we figured our manufacturing up into the tens of thousands, and the enclosed folder tells about the result.
Our advertising next month in the Woman's Home Companion, Ladies' Home Journal, Ladies' World, Good Housekeeping, Everybody's, Cosmopolitan and McClures will do big things for you if you have the Jenkins $5 Fireless Cooker in your window.
We have a good sized stock on hand but they won't last long the way orders are coming in from far-sighted retailers.
How would a dozen do as a starter for you?
Yours truly, [Signature: Black & Black]
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A letter of this kind should be effective because it gives enough information to make a sale in case the reader is an unusually good prospect, and at the same time it lays a good foundation for the second letter.
Are you willing to make more money on soap?
Yes, we suppose you are carrying many soaps, but when a distinctive soap is advertised as thoroughly as we are advertising WESINOD, it actually creates new trade, and of course you aren't sorry to see new faces in the store.
WESINOD SOAP has the curative and beneficial effects of Resinol Ointment, which is now used so extensively by the medical profession.
WESINOD SOAP is more than a cleanser: it is a restorer, preserver and beautifier of the skin, and as such is attracting the favorable attention of women.
Enclosed is a reproduction of our advertisement in the magazines this month and a list of the magazines in which the copy appears.
We are educating 10,000,000 readers to feel the need of WESINOD SOAP.
A supply of our liberal samples and a trial order to be used in a window display will show you the possibilities.
May we send samples and a trial gross?
Yours for more soap money, WESINOD SOAP COMPANY
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_This is a strong selling letter that interests the reader, disarms his natural objection to adding an additional line of soap and presents briefly convincing reasons for stocking with Wesinod. While this letter is intended to get the order, it effectively paves the way for further correspondence_
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It is unnecessary to take up here the elements that should go into the sales letter--attention, interest, argument, proof, persuasion, inducement and the clincher. But it is well to emphasize three points that are especially important in the original letter in the series: confidence, price and the close.
You may be sure, that unless you win the confidence of your prospect from the start, your whole campaign is going to be a waste of time, paper and postage. Distrust and prejudice, once started, are hard things to overcome by mail, particularly when you are a concern or individual unknown to the man to whom you are writing.
Dear Sir:
''If your magazine pulls as well as the Blank Monthly I will give you a twelve-page contract.''
That remark wasn't meant for our ears, but one of our solicitors couldn't help overhearing it. It was made by a prominent advertiser, too. We wish we could give his name, but when we asked permission to quote he smiled and said he'd rather not. So, we'll have to refer you to our advertising pages.
But the remark speaks pretty well for the Blank Monthly, doesn't it? It's not surprising, though. The Blank Monthly goes into 151,000 homes. It is taken and read by the best class of technical, scientific and mechanically inclined men, representing one of the choicest classes of buyers in America.
Our subscribers are great buyers of things by mail. Dozens of our advertisers have proved it. They don't sell shoddy or cheap goods, either. That's why we believe your advertising will pay in the Blank Monthly. If we didn't believe it, we shouldn't solicit your business.
Try your copy in the June issue, which goes to press on April 27-- last form May 6.
If you send copy TODAY, you will be sure to get in.
Very truly yours, [Signature: M. O. Williams]
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_The quoted language gives the opening of this letter an interesting look. The first three paragraphs are strong. The fourth paragraph is merely assertive, and is weak. A fact or two from some advertiser's experience would be much better_
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And so with this in mind, be careful of the tone of your letter. Be earnest, make reasonable statements, appeal to the intelligence or the experience of the reader and deal with specific facts rather than with mere assertions or claims. There is no inspiration to confidence in the time-worn claims of "strongest," "best," and "purest". Tell the facts. Instead of saying that an article is useful in a dozen different ways, mention some of the ways. When you declare that the cylinder of your mine pump is the best in the world, you are not likely to be believed; the statement slips off the mind like the proverbial water from a duck's back. But when you say that the cylinder is made of close-grained iron thick enough to be rebored, if necessary, you have created a picture that does not call for doubt. But watch out that you don't start an argument. Brander Mathews gives us a great thought when he says that "controversy is not persuasion." Don't write a letter that makes the reader feel that he is being argued into something. Give him facts and suggestions that he can't resist; let him feel that he has convinced himself. This paragraph fails of its purpose, simply because it argues. You can almost picture the writer as being "peevish" because his letters haven't pulled:
"This stock is absolutely the safest and most staple you could buy. It will positively pay regular dividends. We stand back of these statements. You must admit, therefore, that it is a good buy for you. So why do you hesitate about buying a block of it?"
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On the other hand, this appeals to the investor because it has genuine proof in it:
"No stockholder of ours has lost a dollar through fluctuation in the price of the stock, though we have been doing business for fifteen years. Our stock has been readily salable at all times. No dividend period has ever been missed. The quarterly dividend has never been less than 2-1/2 per cent. During the depression of 1907-1908 our stock maintained itself at 40 per cent above par when other industrial stocks were dropping to par or below. Surely, here is an investment worth your investigation."
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Telling specific facts helps to produce conviction as well as to create confidence. Not every one is a genius in the handling of words, but every writer of a letter that is to bristle with conviction must use his imagination. He must put himself mentally in the place of the typical customer he is addressing and use the arguments and facts that would convince him. The writer should try to see himself enjoying the foods or service--picture his satisfaction. Then he has a better chance of reproducing his picture in the mind of the reader.
For instance, read this paragraph of idle assertions:
"Buy our hams once and you will buy them always. All of our meat is from young hogs, and is not tough, but is high-grade. Nothing but corn-fed stock is used. We guarantee the quality. We use good sugar in curing our hams, the best quality of saltpeter and some salt. The result is a natural flavor that can't be beat. We challenge competition."
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And now contrast it with this real description of the same product, calculated to create confidence in the trademark it bears:
"This mark certifies that the hog came from good stock, that it was corn-fed in order that it might be firm and sweet--that it was a barrow hog, so that the meat would be full-flavored and juicy--that it was a young hog, making the ham thin-skinned and tender--well-conditioned and fat, insuring the lean of the ham to be tasty and nutritious. The mark certifies that the ham was cured in a liquor nearly good enough to drink, made of granulated sugar, pure saltpeter and only a very little salt; this brings out all the fine, rich, natural flavor of the carefully selected meat, and preserves it without 'salty pickling.'"
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Note how much more graphic the second paragraph is than the first, and every statement is backed up by a logical reason.
The testimony of other people, especially of those in positions of authority and those who would not be suspected of bias, has much convincing power. There is nothing in the contention that "testimonials are out of date." They constitute the strongest kind of support. But get testimonials that really say something. The man who writes and says that he got out of the book he bought from you an idea that enabled him to make a profit of $50 the first week, says a thousand times more than the man who writes and merely says that he was pleased with his purchase.
Let price come in the letter just about where it would come in an oral canvass. The skillful salesman of high-priced shirts doesn't talk about the $3 price until he has shown the shirt and impressed the customer. If price is the big thing--is lower than the reader is likely to imagine it would be--it may be made the leading point and introduced at the outset, but unless it is an attraction, it should be held back until strong description has prepared the reader for the price.
The method of payment and delivery must be treated effectively in the closing paragraphs. The following plans all have their use:
Offer to send on free trial for ten days or longer;
Offer to send for free examination, payment to be made to express agent when examination has shown article to be satisfactory;
Offer to send on small payment, the small payment to be a guarantee against trifling, balance payable on examination;
Offer to sell on easy-payment plan;
Offer to sell for cash but with strong refunding guarantee;
Offer to supply article through local dealer on reader's authorization. With such an authorization, the advertiser has a good opening to stock the retailer.
The price feature offers one of the best opportunities to give the letter real inducement. If the price is in any sense a special price, make it clear that it is. Sometimes you can hang your whole letter on this one element.
Reduced price, if the reduction is set forth logically, is a strong feature. One publisher uses it in this fashion:
"We have just 146 sets of these books to sell at $18.50. When the new edition is in, it will be impossible to get a set at less than $25. The old edition is just as good as the new, but we are entirely out of circular matter describing the green cloth binding, and as we don't want to print a new lot of circulars just to sell 146 sets, we make this unusual offer. Now is your chance."
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Advance in price is almost as strong. It's a lever to quick action:
"On the 1st of October the rate of the MESSENGER will go up to one dollar a line. If you place your order before the thirtieth of this month you can buy space to be used any time before January 1 next at seventy-five cents a line. After the thirtieth, positively no orders will be accepted at less than one dollar a line. As a matter of fact our circulation entitles us to a dollar a line right now.
"Don't let this letter be covered up on your desk. Attend to this matter now, or instruct your advertising agent to reserve space for you, and get a big bargain."
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Price, in this case is, in fact, a part of the close. It spurs the reader to "order now."
Setting a time limit, in which a proposal holds good, is also a strong closer. A large book publisher finds it effective to make a discount offer good if accepted within a certain number of days.
Guarantee offers are strong. Don't content yourself with the old "absolutely guaranteed" expression. Be definite. "Order this buggy, and if, at the end of a month, you are not entirely satisfied that it is the biggest buggy value you ever had for the money, just write me, and I'll take the buggy back without quibbling. Could any offer be fairer? I make it because I've sold 246 of these buggies since January, and so far no man has asked for his money back."
The sum-up is as important a part of the sales letter as it is of the lawyer's speech or brief. It should concentrate the whole strength of the letter at the close, as, for instance:
"So you see that though our machine is apparently high-priced it is really cheaper by the year than another machine. Our offer of a free trial right in your own plant gives you absolute protection. It is quite natural, of course, for us to be desirous of getting your order, but we do not see how you can, from your own point of view, afford not to put the Bismarck in your factory."
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And finally, help the prospect buy. The sales letter designed to bring the order must provide an easy method of ordering. In the first place, a great many people do not understand how to order. To others, making out an order is a task that is likely to be postponed. By making it easy for the reader to fill out a blank with a stroke or two of the pen, while the effect of the letter is strong, a great many orders will be secured that would otherwise be lost.
It should be axiomatic that if a letter is expected to pull business through the mails it must place before the recipient every facility for making it easy and agreeable to reply and reply NOW. How this can best be done will be taken up more fully in a separate chapter on "Making It Easy to Answer."
One thing to remember particularly in the case of the original sales letter is that if possible it should have a definite scheme behind it. A reason for the offer, a reason for the letter itself.
A safe-deposit vault was well advertised by sending out letters that contained a special pass to the vault with the name of the reader filled in. Of course the letter gave a pressing invitation to call and allow the custodian to show the vault's interesting features.
Still another clever letter soliciting rentals of safe-deposit boxes proposed that in case the reader now had a box elsewhere, they would take the lease off his hands. In reality they merely gave him free rental until his other lease expired, but the scheme was cleverly planned.
A buggy maker wrote enclosing duplicate specifications of a buggy he had just had made for his own personal use, and suggested that he would have another made for the reader exactly like it and turned under the same careful supervision.
Letters that give the reader something or offer to give him something have similar effect. The letter about a new facial cream will command extra attention because of the small sample of the cream enclosed. In fact, one cold cream company finds it an effective plan to send a sample and a sales letter to druggists' mailing lists or to names taken from telephone books, telling the reader in the final paragraph that the cream can be purchased at the local drug store.
A letter offering a sample can of a high-grade coffee for the name of the reader's favorite grocer will bring a good response and afford the advertiser a strong hold on the grocer.
A favorite method of securing savings depositors is to send a good "savings letter" that offers a free home-savings bank or a vest-pocket saver.
Even calendars may be given out more effectively by sending a letter and telling the reader that a good calendar has been saved for him and asking him to call at the office.
A striking paragraph of a real estate dealer's soliciting letter is one that asserts that the dealer has a client with the cash who wants just about such a house as the reader of the letter owns.
A real estate dealer, whose specialty is farms, has this telling sentence in his original letter: "Somewhere there is a man who will buy your farm at a good price; I should like to find that man for you."
There is hardly a product or a proposition that does not offer opportunity to put some scheme behind the letter. And such a plan doubles the appeal of the original sales letter. But once more, remember, not to put all your ammunition into the first letter. Be prepared to come back in your second and third letters, not simply with varied repetitions, but with more reasons for buying. Make your first letter as strong as you can, but at the same time--pave the way.
The Letter That Will BRING an _Inquiry_