Chapter 4

[6] An old Gentlewoman, a great admirer of the BLACK LETTER, (as many _old Gentlewomen_ are) presented the Author of these Tales with the _Original MS._ of this Sonnet; advising the publication of a _facsimile_ of the Knight's hand-writing. It is painful, after this, to advance, that the Sonnet, so far from being genuine, is _one_ of the clumsiest literary forgeries, that the present times have witnessed. It appears, in this authentick Story, that Sir Thomas Erpingham was married in the reign of Henry the Fifth; and it is evidently intended, that _Moderns_ should believe he writ these love-verses almost immediately after his marriage; not only from the ardour with which he celebrates the beauty of his wife, but from the circumstance of a man writing any love-verses upon his wife at all;--but the style and language of the lines are most glaringly inconsistent with their pretended date. The fact is, we have here foisted upon us a close _imitation of_ COWLEY, (_vide the_ MISTRESS) who was not _born_ till the year 1618,--two centuries after the era in question. Chaucer died, A. D. 1400; and Henry the Fifth (who was king only 9 years, 5 months, and 11 days) began his reign scarcely 13 years after the death of that Poet. Sir Thomas, then, must, at least, have written in the obsolete phraseology of Chaucer,--and, probably, would have imitated him,--as did Lidgate, Occleve, and others;--nay, Harding, Skelton, &c. who were fifty or sixty years subsequent to Chaucer, were not so modern in their language as their celebrated predecessor. Having, _in few words_, prove'd (it is presume'd) this Sonnet to be spurious, an apology may be thought necessary for not saying _a great deal more_;--but this Herculean task is left, in deference, to the disputants on _Vortigern_; who will, doubtless, engage in it, as a matter of great importance, and, once more, lay the world under _very heavy_ obligations, with various _Pamphlets in folio_, upon the subject:--and, surely, too many acknowledgments cannot be given to men who are so indefatigably generous in their researches, that half the result of them, when publish'd, causes even the sympathetick reader to labour as much as the Writer!

How ungratefully did Pope say!

"There, dim in clouds, the poring Scholiasts mark, Wits, who, like owls, see only in the dark; A lumber-house of books in every head; For ever reading, never to be read!"--_Dunciad_.

[7] If the Knight knew the aptness, in its full extent, of his oath, upon this occasion, we must give him more credit for his reading than we are willing to allow to military men of the age in which he flourish'd;--for, observe: he vows to _cudgel_ a man lurking to _rob_ his Lady of her virtue, in a _bower_;--how appropriately, therefore, does he swear by the _God of the Gardens_! who is represented with a kind of _cudgel_ (_falx lignea_) in his right hand; and is, moreover, furnished with another weapon of formidable dimensions, (Horace calls it _Palus_) for the express purpose of annoying _Robbers_.

"_Fures dextra coercet, Obscænoque ruber porrectus ab inguine_ PALUS."

It must be confess'd that the last mention'd attribute of this Deity was stretch'd forth to promote pleasure in some instances, instead of fear;--for it was a sportive custom, in the hilarity of recent marriages, to seat the Bride upon his _Palus_;--but this circumstance by no means disproves its efficacy as a dread to Robbers; on the contrary, that implement must have been peculiarly terrifick, which could sustain the weight of so many Brides, without detriment to its firmness, or elasticity.

[8] There is a terrible jumble in Somnus's family. He was the son of Nox, by Erebus;--and Erebus, according to different accounts, was not only Nox's husband, but her brother,--and even her son, by Chaos;--and Mors was daughter of Somnus, by that devil of a Goddess Nox, the mother of his father and himself!--The heathen Deities held our canonical notions in utter contempt; and must have laugh'd at the idea (which, surely, nobody does now,) of forbidding a man to marry his Grandmother.

[9] _Vide_ Lord Chesterfield's Letters.--This noble Author, by the by, has set his dignified face against risibility. It would be well for us poor devils, who call ourselves Comic Writers, if our efforts were always as successful in raising a _Laugh_ as his Lordship's censure upon it.

[10] I am aware that much has been said, of old, relative to the "_cura boum_," and the "_optuma torvæ forma bovis_;"--but, for a show of cattle, I would back Smithfield, or most of our English market Towns, against any _forum boarium_ of the Romans.

[11] _Tarquinius Superbus_, the last King of Rome;--he was a haughty Monarch, and built the _Cloaca maxima_.

[12] This is a palpable plagiarism. _Rolla_ thus addresses _Pizarro_: "_Behold me_, at thy feet--_Me_,--_Rolla!_--Me, that never yet have bent or _bow'd_--in humble _agony_ I _sue_ to you."--The theft is more glaring, as the Apostrophe, both here, and in the original, occurs in the midst of a strong incident, and is address'd to an Enemy by a proud spirit, in very moving circumstances.

[13] _Vide_ Part 1st, page 61, lines 4-7.

[14] Shakspeare certainly borrow'd this expression from Sir Thomas.--See _Macbeth_.

[15] This seems to be a _new comparative_; for which the Author takes to himself due credit;--Novelty being scarce in poetical compositions.

G. NORMAN, PRINTER, MAIDEN LANE, COVENT GARDEN.

Transcriber's Note: The Table of Contents was added, as well as the titles _My Night-gown and Slippers_ and _The Knight and the Friar_. The use of quotation marks (") has been modernized; the spelling and other idiosyncrasies have not.

End of Project Gutenberg's Broad Grins, by George Colman, the Younger