Chapter 1

Transcribed from the Skeffington & Son tenth edition by David Price, email [email protected]

BOYS: THEIR WORK AND INFLUENCE.

_Tenth Edition_.

LONDON: SKEFFINGTON & SON, PICCADILLY, W. PUBLISHERS TO H.M. THE QUEEN AND TO H.R.H. THE PRINCE OF WALES.

_By the same Author_, 9_d._, _elegant cloth_, 10_th_ _Edition_.

GIRLS: THEIR WORK AND INFLUENCE.

NEW BOOK by the same Author. 3rd Edition. Elegant cloth, price 1s. 6d., by post 1s. 8d.

HE THAT SERVETH: Counsel and Help for Workers; being Short Readings, etc., specially, but not solely, adapted for Domestic and other Servants, etc., Including most of the CHURCH SEASONS; on various DUTIES, FAULTS, TEMPTATIONS, etc.; CONFIRMATION, HOLY COMMUNION, etc. The Publishers believe this little book will be most useful in meeting a very felt want.

INTRODUCTION

The following papers were written at the request of one who had read the somewhat similar papers addressed to girls. The object aimed at in both books has been to try and help Boys and Girls of the so-called working classes to recognize their duties to God and their neighbour, and to use on the side of right the powers and opportunities which God has given them.

It seems to the author that advice given to the so-called lower orders, often partakes too much of patronage, and too little of the brotherhood, that should be a sign of Christians. "Do as you are told and be thankful," is too much the tone of the advice, instead of explaining duties, pointing out opportunities, and recognizing them as fellow-labourers in the great work.

In God's household everyone has his place assigned to him by the master, some to govern, and some to serve, but still all are fellow-servants of that one Master, and brethren in Christ.

BOYS.

What a curious fellow a boy is. I wonder if boys ever think about themselves. A young monkey is full of mischief, a young puppy is full of play, a young kitten is always ready for fun, but a boy seems to combine the qualities of all three, and to have a stock of his own to jumble up with them. A boy has so many sides, not only an outside and an inside; he is a many sided being. See him at one time and you would hardly suppose him to be the same creature that you had seen a little while before. Now he is a bright nice spoken lad, in a few moments he is a bullying tyrant, now he is courteously answering those who speak to him, now words come from his lips that shock the hearer. Now he would scorn to have his word doubted by a comrade, now he does not hesitate to lie to escape punishment. Now fearless, now a coward, now full of spirits, now in the depths of woe--sunshine or joy, wind and calm, silence and tumult, all seem to have their place, and to make up that incomprehensible and yet delightful animal a boy.

Now boys, I want you to think of yourselves--not to think how good or how bad you are--what fine fellows you are, and what important persons, but what you are capable of becoming. You will not remain boys always--you are now, in the midst of all your oddities, forming your character, and shaping your future course, drawing out of the midst of all your contradictions the character that will make you honest God-fearing men, like in your degree to the perfect pattern of manhood which God has set before us in Christ--or you are letting yourselves be moulded into the selfish sensual being, which too often degrades the name of man.

Thinking, I know, is not much in your line at present, but you will perhaps spare me a few minutes, and give me a little of your attention while I try to point out to you the way in which you may, if you will, turn your powers to account, and avoid the dangers which have been the shipwreck of many a lad's bright prospects.

HOME AND SCHOOL

I shall take it for granted that you care for your parents and home, or at any rate that you would like to have a comfortable home. Well, then, make it so yourself. You can do a great deal towards it. Honour and obedience is your first duty towards your parents. There is nothing manly in disobedience. Honour and obey, readily and cheerfully. Not simply obedient to father because he might thrash you; and disobedient to mother because she cannot compel you. No, the truest honour in a boy is when mother can thoroughly trust him--trust him to obey her because she is mother.

Brothers and sisters are often a trouble. "How those children do nag?" "Never can leave those boys together." "He's sure to teaze her if I leave them alone." Don't be a bully either to your brothers or sisters. Don't be selfish and claim all you can for yourself. Share and share alike should be the rule, and gentleness towards the girls and little ones.

School will help to take the nonsense out of you; you cannot have it all your own way there. Boys will be boys, is a very common expression, and it would be very funny indeed if boys did not turn out to be boys, but that is no reason that boys should be rude or cruel, and in fact "little cubs." Quarrels there will be sometimes--very often for no real reason, sometimes for a good cause. If you have one fight it out then and there, and bear no malice afterwards. I would rather see a fair fight and have done with it, than keeping up a nasty quarrel, and trying to spite one another in little mean ways. There is too often a want of real honour amongst boys. Telling tales of one another seems to be the fashion, and the favourite way of paying off old scores. There are of course times when a boy must speak out against wrong, even at the risk of being counted a sneak, but, as a rule, boys who delight in telling tales, and who have not the sense of honour to stick by one another are a very poor lot.

Do your school work thoroughly. Idleness is not only wrong but foolish. There is a time for work and a time for play. Learn as much as you can and learn thoroughly if you want to be of any use in after life. A boy's religion is not a thing that shows very much on the surface, or that he is very likely to talk much about, but it must be in him if he is any worth.

Boys and girls alike should learn from their mother to say their prayers night and morning, and when they become too old, or mother too busy for them to say them at her knee, they should never omit to say them by themselves. I heard the other day of a rough labouring man, who on his death bed sent for the priest of his parish. He said he had never been inside a Church since he had been a man. He had done his work honestly, and lived steadily, but had altogether got out of the way of going to Church. There was one thing, however, that he had always done. Long years ago, as a lad, he had promised his mother never to get up in the morning or go to bed at night without saying his prayers. This promise he had kept faithfully. Night and morning that rough strong man had knelt and said the same prayers which he had first learnt at his mother's knees. Those prayers had been heard and had brought their blessing to him. Church going on Sunday is as important as daily prayers. A Sunday morning should never be allowed to pass without seeing you at Church. Lie a bed on Sunday morning is the devil's version of the fourth commandment. There is plenty of time on Sunday for Church as well as for walks and talks. Sunday is not to be a miserable day, or all Church and prayers, but God first and then ourselves. Sunday school you will most likely be sent to as long as you go to day school, and you will be wise not to give it up as soon as you are what you would call your own master.

Both home and school ought to have their pleasures as well as their work. Do your work thoroughly, and do your pleasures thoroughly also. Share your pleasures with the others, and with father and mother. You can give much pleasure to father and mother, as well as to yourselves, if you try.

Love God and love your home--be obedient, truthful, and plucky--standing up for the right, and not ashamed to refuse to join in the wrong; and your home and school days will train you well for your work in life.

GOING TO WORK

What are you going to be? is a question that has to be settled very early in life--earlier amongst the so-called working classes than any other. It must be settled at about thirteen years old. Fortunately for you it is not whether you shall do anything for your living or not, but in what way you shall earn your living. Some people seem to look upon work as if it were a degrading thing, and only to be used until they can afford to live without it. Life is not worth calling life that is not downright honest work, and a man is hardly a man at all who is not a working man--working either with his hands or his brain, or both.

In determining what your calling in life shall be you must consider two things, 1st. Whether the calling you wish to follow is an honest and lawful one. 2nd. Whether you are fitted for it.

If you can say yes to both these questions, then, provided your parents approve, follow out your natural inclination. A lad is far more likely to succeed in life if his heart is in his work, than if he has to work against the grain. On the other hand, you will never deserve success if you go against your parents' wishes. If they see reasons against the particular calling you wish for, (and perhaps are really fitted for), your duty is to follow their wishes, and bide your time. If your inclinations really point to that to which God calls you, He will show you the right way to it in His time, and your obedience to your parents will not have been wasted time.

There are certain occupations which are not honourable, but by which men gain a living, which are not to be considered for a moment, as _e.g._, gambling and betting. There are certain for which you would not be fitted by education or ability. Whatever calling you choose seek God and His righteousness first, _i.e._, choose that which will make you fit for the next world as well as that which will make you comfortable here. Honest work thoroughly done here will be no bad passport for another world. When you have once chosen your calling stick to it, carry it out thoroughly, and with a determination to get on. Never be in a hurry to change, and never do so without a good reason. Never rest satisfied that you have done enough, or think that you cannot do better. It is told of a celebrated sculptor, that he said, "I shall fail in my next effort, for I am satisfied with this."

Aim high and do your best. Every shop-boy may not become a Lord Mayor, but every one who aims at getting to the top of the tree, and goes steadily at it, will find himself at last a good way from the ground.

Now supposing you have made your choice and started in work you will find a great difference between this and school life. You will mix with elder people and a different set; you will have more freedom, and possibly a little more money.

Don't think you are a man all at once, because you are nothing of the sort, and nothing makes a lad look more ridiculous than to see him trying to be a man before his time. You know the story of the toad and the ox.

You have much to learn yet. Stick to classes and learn all that you can. Sunday classes as well as night classes. There is nothing manly in giving up religious duties; quite the contrary, it is cowardly. Do your work honestly and thoroughly, even though it be the custom to do otherwise. Boys are pretty sure to have some hobby of their own, and a very good thing too. A boy is all the better for a hobby, even if he takes it up and drops it again. It is a good thing for a lad to have some private interest of his own. If therefore your hobby is not anything harmful follow it out with a will.

RELIGION.

I had some doubts about the heading of this chapter: Religion ought not to be a separate thing from daily life, and, therefore, all remarks on the subject ought to come under one or other of the chapters which treat of the different duties of life. There are, however, certain definite religious duties which may perhaps be spoken of more clearly in a separate chapter. I would ask you always to bear in mind that no religious duties are of much value that are not a regular part of our daily life, and that there is no line to be drawn between natural and religious duties. "Whether, therefore, ye eat or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the Glory of God."

_Prayer_, private and public. What I have said in a former paper holds good now. No boy can safely neglect his morning and evening prayers and his public worship on Sundays. Prayer should include daily self-examination: no one can get on in the world unless he looks after his own affairs, and reckons from time to time how he stands. So with our daily life--we should try it day by day, and see if we are keeping straight. Each night we should look back over the day, see what has been wrong, what imperfect--seek pardon for the wrong, and determine, by God's help, to amend it.

_Public Worship_ once a Sunday, _i.e._ in the morning, is the duty of every Christian: whether we go oftener is a matter of choice, but less we cannot do without failing in our duty. Attendance at the full morning service, _i.e._ the celebration of the Holy Communion, is the prayer-book rule, whether we observe it or not.

_Regular Communion_ is absolutely necessary. How frequently it is advisable to come must depend upon circumstances, but speaking generally I should say, in the words of one whose opinion carries great weight, that "monthly Communions are the very fewest which anyone seeking to serve God devoutly can make."

I have taken it for granted that you have been confirmed, which will probably have taken place about the time of leaving school. Confirmation ought to make a marked change in your life. Firstly, because you are more directly responsible for yourself, and, secondly, because it brings you into closer relation, for a time at least, with your clergyman. Before your first communion the prayer book speaks to you very distinctly about personal advice and intercourse with your parish priest. Neither your first or any subsequent communions are to be made unless you are satisfied as to your own fitness to come to it. If you are in doubt you are advised to go to God's minister, lay before him those sins that make you afraid or doubtful of coming, and seek his advice. This is not pleasant, but it is useful. Many people speak against it, but it is Christ's appointed way. If you feel that this will help you, go as often as you need, and do not be stopped by any foolish remarks of people who do not understand it, or by any thought of its being a weak and unmanly thing to do. It requires courage, perseverance, and a true estimate of oneself to do it, and these are not generally considered unmanly qualities. Some of the best men, some of the bravest soldiers, have not been ashamed of using this means of grace. Knights of old were accustomed to confess before they went into battle. Read the life of Henry V. of England. He was no milksop, or, as people would say now-a- days, priest-ridden king, but he did not look upon it as an unmanly thing. You are free to choose, or free to refuse it; only pray to be guided aright by God's Holy Spirit to do that which shall be most to His glory and your soul's good.

_Almsgiving_. Whatever money you have of your own some portion--a tenth, if possible,--should be given to God in some way or other.

_Bringing others to God_. We must not be selfish in our religion--if God has made known the truth to us we must do our best that others may share it also. You can do much in a quiet way, not only by example: you can get a word in where others have not a chance. Many a youngster would gladly keep from wrong, and go on steadily, if he had only someone to stand by him. It is not enough to be good, we must do good, and never laugh at another for his religion. Many years ago a thorough change was worked in a school by the courage of one little boy. He came fresh from home, where he had been accustomed to say his prayers. He knelt down in a school dormitory, as he had been used to do at home, by his bedside. There was a sudden silence, the boys were astonished. Then some began to bully and try and stop him; others stood up for him. But the battle was won. The better minded boys saw what cowards they had been to give up what they knew was right for fear of chaff--one by one they gradually followed his example, and before that lad left school it was the rule and not the exception for the boys to say their prayers.

_Fasting_. People understand feasts and are ready enough to keep them, but fasting is quite another matter. Feasts should be kept, and the more the great festivals are recognized the better. Fasting, however, is quite as necessary. Appointed times in which to remember more particularly Christ's suffering for us, to deny ourselves lawful pleasures, and to make us think more of our sins and how to conquer them. They keep us from getting careless, and letting our religion become a sort of Sunday clothes, to be put on at certain times, but to have no real effect upon our daily life.

One thing more. God has given you brains and the power to use them. You are bound then to try and learn about God, and the duty you owe to Him. Every year you ought to advance in knowledge, and not be content with the little you were taught as a child. Read your Bible--think it out for yourself--pray for understanding, and study such books as will help you to a better knowledge of it.

COURAGE.

Boys and men are great cowards. There is hardly any accusation that an Englishman or boy resents so much as to be called a coward. Still I venture to make the accusation, and will try and make good my words. I do not mean that you are cowards in the sense of being afraid to attempt any act of daring. You have pluck enough to tackle a fellow half as big again as yourself, pluck enough to endure pain without a word, pluck enough to risk your life to save another, but too often you have not pluck enough to say no, or to brave a laugh. That is what I mean by saying that men and boys are cowards. You will let the worst fellow of the lot be the leader and give the tone to conversation because you have not the pluck to say boldly that it is wrong, and that you will not join in it. This want of moral courage makes a lad give up little by little his hold on what is right. Sunday school, Church-going, prayers given up because Jem chaffs so about them. If he chooses to neglect them that is his look out. You have as much right to your opinion as he has to his. Why should you let him show more courage in doing wrong than you in doing right. Are you afraid of him? No. Well then, stick to your duty.

I said just now that going to work throws you in with a different set of companions. Here, specially, comes the test of your courage. Are you going to follow bad leaders, or have you the courage of your own opinions. There is one particular subject where courage is most needed, and where it most often fails. A young lad naturally wants to seem to be manly--has a sort of feeling that he would like to show that he is not just a little boy and bound to do as he is told. He is tempted to show his manliness by neglect of home commands, rough and rude manners, bad language and bad talk. I have remarked before how home obedience and true manliness go together; here I want to speak more particularly about bad language and bad talking, and the evil it leads to. S. Paul speaks about it very plainly when he says, speaking of the things that should not be named amongst Christians, "neither filthiness nor foolish talking nor jesting, which are not convenient." Now, boys, all indecent words and conversations are wrong--they are sinful, unmanly, degrading. I know you cannot help hearing much that is wrong. Shame, be it said, to the men of England--yes, men who talk of advancement and freedom, men who are fathers of families, that they too often make or allow the talk of the workshop to be such that no boy can work there without hearing words and jokes which are not fit, I do not say for Christians to hear, but not fit to be spoken. Hearing words of evil you often cannot help. To join in them you can and must refuse, and unless you do so refuse you are a coward and false to your profession. I do not speak here of actual deeds of sin--no one can do or join in an impure deed without knowing that he is sinning, but many think that there is no great harm in listening to and laughing at what others say. Be warned in time, it is but a very little step from laughing at to joining in bad conversation, and a very small step from words to action. The same want of courage that joins in the laugh will make it difficult to say no when tempted further. Never, with companions of your own sex, and still more with those of the opposite sex, let any corrupt communications proceed out of your mouth. If it is necessary for you to speak upon such subjects ask advice of those older than yourself, and not of companions of your own age. You know lads that you love your mother and care for your sisters. You would be furious if anyone spoke to or of them as you sometimes hear women spoken of. What would be an insult to them is an insult to any woman. Stand up for the honour and respect due to others as you would for your own mother or sister. You would not talk like that before your mother. Make it a rule never to do or say anything that you would be ashamed to say in her presence, or in the presence of anyone you respect. Courage is what you want here and plenty of it, but if you will only make a stand for the right, strength, not your own, will be given you. I can tell you of one who did so try and do the same. Bishop Pattison, who died some years ago, when he was fearlessly doing his duty in the islands of the Pacific, was, once a boy, face to face with this difficulty. He was in the cricket eleven of his school--a good player and very fond of the game. It had become the custom at cricket suppers for bad talk to be indulged in. Pattison one evening rose up at the table and said, "If this conversation is to be allowed I must leave the eleven. I cannot share in this conversation--if you determine to continue it I shall have no choice but to go." They did not want to lose him, and the foul conversation was stopped.

MONEY.

The love of money is the root of all evil. Nevertheless, money in a civilized country is a necessity. How to make it is one of the great questions, and how to spend it aright is one of the great difficulties.

Money is power. It is power, if we use it aright, it overpowers us if we use it badly or even carelessly. It is a great mistake to want to make your money too quickly, and a still greater mistake to think that you are likely to do so. Money that is the result of honest labour will, if rightly used, be a blessing to you and yours.