Chapter 3

"Isn't that a shame, To spoil their little game, To stop their dancing And their prancing, Who do you think's to blame?"

"You are, you two bad foxes," said Billy Bunny, but he didn't come out of that hollow stump. No, sireemam, he staid inside and so did the little lady rabbit, and by and by the two bad foxes went away and told their father, Daddy Fox, all about it, and he said, "Don't make any excuse.

"You are very poor hunters if you can't catch a rabbit when he's dancing the Fox Trot." And I guess he was right, for Slyboots and Bushy Tail were so ashamed that they didn't dare look in their mother's looking-glass for two days and three nights.

And in the next story if Billy Bunny gets out of that hollow stump before I see him, I'll ask Robbie Redbreast to tell me what he does so that I can write to-morrow's story for you to read.

STORY XVIII.

BILLY BUNNY AND RAGGED RABBIT.

Robbie Redbreast told me this morning he saw Billy Bunny hop out of the hollow stump where he had hidden with the little lady bunny, you remember in the last story, to escape from the two bad foxes.

Well, after he had looked all around to make sure they were gone, he said good-by to Miss Rabbit. And then, so Robbie Redbreast told me, he looked at his gold watch and chain, which his dear, kind Uncle Lucky had given him for a birthday present, and it was just thirteen o'clock.

"That's my lucky number," exclaimed the little rabbit; "maybe I'll find my fortune to-day." And he looked all about him, under a stone and behind a bush, but there wasn't any fortune in sight, not even a twenty-dollar gold piece. So he wound his watch and started off again; and by and by, not so very far, he came to a castle where lived a giant bunny whose name was "Ragged Rabbit" because he always wore torn and tattered clothes.

And when he saw Billy Bunny hopping along, he said, "Ha, ha. Ho, hum, I'll eat that little bunny as sure as I'm a foot high!" And as he was twenty-one feet high less or more, he surely thought he would.

"What did you say?" asked Billy Bunny, for his quick ears had caught the sound of the Ragged Rabbit's voice, but not the words.

"Oh, never mind," answered the Ragged Giant Rabbit. "Come and I'll show you my castle." And, oh, dear me. Billy hopped in and the big Giant Rabbit closed the door with a bang, and all the pictures on the walls almost fell down and the chandelier rattled like a milk wagon full of empty cans. But the little rabbit wasn't frightened. And could you guess what he did if I let you guess until to-morrow night?

Well, sir, that brave little bunny took his popgun out of his knapsack and shot it off, and it made a dreadful loud pop, and the big Ragged Rabbit said, "Oh, my! Was that a cannon?"

And then he laughed so loud that he broke a window pane and had to telephone right away to the plumber to have one put in.

"That's my pop-gun, Mr. Giant," said Billy Bunny, "and if you try to hurt me I'll shoot you." And then the Ragged Giant Rabbit laughed again, and this time the picture of his grandfather fell down and made a big dent in the floor.

"If you don't stop laughing," said the little rabbit, "you'll deafen me. Please only giggle." So the Giant Rabbit grew very polite indeed and only smiled, and then of course nothing was broken.

"Tell me who you are and where you are going and what time it is," he said, "and then I'll give you something to eat."

But before the little rabbit could reply a loud knocking came at the door, and so you'll have to wait to hear who was there until to-morrow, for I've no more room in this story.

STORY XIX.

BILLY BUNNY AND TAILOR BIRD.

You remember in the last story somebody was knocking at the door of the Ragged Rabbit's castle, don't you? The Giant Rabbit, who always wore torn and tattered clothes because he had no wife to mend them and wouldn't pay his tailor's bills?

Well, who do you suppose was on the other side of that door? Just wait until the Giant Rabbit opens it and you shall see. Now open your eyes, if you have shut them, and see Uncle Lucky, as sure as I am writing this story and you are reading it.

Yes, sir. There stood the dear old gentleman rabbit, and oh, dear me, didn't he look worried? I suppose he thought he'd find Billy Bunny inside the giant. But when he saw Billy Bunny standing there, safe and sound and happy, with his popgun in his hand and a smile on his face, he began to laugh.

"Whew!" exclaimed the old gentleman rabbit, greatly relieved, which means to feel much better. "I'm glad to see you, my dear nephew. And also to make your acquaintance, Mr. Ragged Rabbit Giant. My name is Mr. Lucky Lefthindfoot. Howdy!" and he put out his right front paw and shook hands with the giant, who had to lean way down to reach Uncle Lucky's paw.

"But, goodness me!" said the old gentleman rabbit after looking at the giant for some moments, "you need a tailor. Let me call the Tailor Bird to mend your clothes. You are too nice a rabbit not to be well dressed."

And kind Uncle Lucky went to the telephone and told the Tailor Bird to bring a spool of thread a mile long and a needle as big as a spear for he had a giant customer for him with holes in his clothes as big as a circus ring. The Tailor Bird said he'd try to, but wouldn't promise unless he could send in a bill as big as a newspaper spread out flat.

"Will that be all right?" asked Uncle Lucky after he had explained matters to the ragged Giant Rabbit.

"Certainly," said the Giant Rabbit with a grin, "and tell him I'll pay him with a dollar bill as big as a Turkish rug or a crex carpet."

And then they all sat down and told funny stories, and Billy Bunny sang a song that went something like this, only much nicer, but I can't quite remember it all:

"Oh, you're a raggerty, taggerty man, In a castle big and old, And I'm a Billy Bunny boy With a heart that's brave and bold. You can't scare me with your thunder laugh Or your club like a telegraph pole, So you'd better allow the Tailor Bird To sew up each raggerty hole."

And then the Tailor Bird commenced and it took him until half-past fourteen o'clock to mend that Giant Rabbit's clothes. "I might just as well have made you a new suit," he said, as the last inch of the mile-long spool of thread was used up. "I declare I never had such a job before."

And I guess he spoke the truth, for I never met a Giant Rabbit in my tailor's shop, although I once had a giant bill from my tailor.

STORY XX.

BILLY BUNNY AND PARSON CROW.

Well, after the Tailor Bird got his money from the Ragged Giant Rabbit for mending his clothes, he thanked Billy Bunny and Uncle Lucky and said he must be going for he had to make a suit of clothes right away for Parson Crow.

"If you'll wait a minute you can go with us," said kind Uncle Lucky; "we'll take you home in the automobile."

Of course the Tailor Bird was only too anxious to get a ride, although he did have a good pair of wings. But the needle was pretty heavy and, anyway, Tailor Birds don't often have the opportunity to ride in automobiles.

Well, after a little ways, not so very far, the Luckymobile came to a stop and, of course, Billy Bunny had to get out to see what was the matter, and he hunted and hunted all over the machine, but couldn't find out what was wrong. By and by he saw one of the numbers had dropped off the little license plate that hung down from the rear axle.

So he hopped back, and by and by, just as he was going to give up looking for it, Parson Crow flew by, and when he saw Billy Bunny he stopped and said: "What are you looking for, little rabbit?"

And when Billy Bunny told him, he took the number 7 out of his pocket and handed it to the little bunny. "Here's your number," cawed the black crow, although I never heard of a white one except once, and that was a bad bird who had been whitewashed by a colored painter because he ate up all the corn.

"That's my lucky number," said Billy Bunny. And then the crow said in a mournful voice:

"It's mine, too, and I just hate to give it up."

"Well, if you can get me another number, I don't care if you keep it," said the little rabbit. And then what do you think that crow did? Why, he got a nice smooth little chip and made a lovely number 3 on it with a red pencil and handed it to the little rabbit.

And as soon as he had tied it on the Luckymobile, would you believe it if I didn't say so, that Luckymobile started to go all by itself. And if Billy Bunny hadn't been mighty quick he would have been left behind.

"Where are you two rabbits going?" asked the crow as he flew alongside of the Luckymobile. "Because if you are not in a hurry, why don't you come with me to the meeting house to-night and hear me preach?"

"We will," said kind Uncle Lucky, "and I'll drop a carrot cent in the collection box if you want me to." So after a while they stopped near a tall pine tree and Parson Crow sat on a limb and waited for all the little people of the forest to come to the meeting. Well, after they were all there, he began:

"Now, listen to the words I say, And do your duty every day. Be always good and most polite And do the things you know are right. Oh, never say an angry word To any animal or bird, So when the night comes 'twill be good To feel you've done the best you could."

And after that Uncle Lucky dropped a carrot dollar in the collection box and drove home with Billy Bunny.

STORY XXI.

BILLY BUNNY AND JACK-IN-THE-BOX.

Oh, I'm a rollicking Jack-in-the-Box, And I'm not afraid of a bear or a fox, For every one's scared when up I pop, And the little girl cries, "Oh, stop! oh, stop!" I'm the bravest thing you ever saw, I'm not afraid of my Mother-in-Law!

Well, sir, I suppose you'll think Billy Bunny was frightened and that Uncle Lucky lost his breath and the automobile a tire. But nothing of the sort happened. Instead, the old gentleman rabbit laughed so hard that his collar button fell out and it took him fifteen minutes and half an hour to find it. And then he never would have if the Jack-in-the-Box hadn't seen it first. And where do you suppose that ex-as-per-a-ting, which means teasing, button was? You'd never guess, so I'll have to tell you without asking you again.

It was in the old gentleman rabbit's waistcoat pocket where he kept his gold watch and chain and pocket knife and pencil with a rubber on the end and a toothpick.

"How did you see it pop into my pocket?" he asked the Jack-in-the-Box. "I'll never tell you," said the Jack-in-the-Box, "but what does that matter? You've found your collar button, and that's enough."

"If I come across your cousin Jack-in-the-Pulpit," said Uncle Lucky, after he had buttoned up his collar and wound his watch, "I'll tell him how kind you were to find my collar button for me," and then the old gentleman rabbit took off his old wedding stovepipe hat and bowed to the Jack-in-the-Box and drove away in the Luckmobile down the road, and when he came to a bridge he said to his little nephew, "Do you think we're on the right road?"

"I don't remember this bridge, do you?" And then a voice cried out, "Don't be anxious, Mr. Lucky Lefthindfoot. This is the road to Lettuceville.

"Keep right on after you cross the bridge until you come to a little red schoolhouse and then turn to your left and then turn to your right and if you don't get home until morning you've made a mistake."

"Thank you," said Uncle Lucky. "And if I make a mistake I'll come back and give you a scolding," and after that they crossed the bridge, and just as they came to the first turn in the road they heard a dreadful loud noise in the woods close by.

"What's that?" asked Billy Bunny, and he turned up his left ear and his coat collar so that he could hear better.

"It's an old friend of yours," answered a deep growly kind of a voice, and before the two rabbits could wonder who it was their friend, the good-natured bear jumped out of the bushes.

"Take me with you, please," he said, "for I've run a splinter in my foot and it hurts me to walk." And in the next story you shall hear of another adventure which the two little rabbits had.

STORY XXII.

BILLY BUNNY AND DR. DUCK.

You remember in the last story how the good-natured bear asked Billy Bunny and Uncle Lucky to give him a ride in the Luckymobile because he had run a splinter in his foot.

Well, as soon as he had climbed into the automobile, and it took him almost 23 1/2 seconds to do it, for the splinter was so long that it caught on the door, Uncle Lucky started off and by and by they came to the house where the good Duck Doctor lived.--Dr. Quack, you remember.

"Now, I'll go in and get him to come out and look at your splinter," said Billy Bunny, as he hopped out of the Luckymobile and rang the front door bell, and in a minute, less or more, a nice looking lady duck came out and said, "The Doctor is away on his vacation. He's gone to the Lily Pond for two weeks. But you can call him up on the telephone if you like. The number is Waterville, 2 3 umpty eleven."

So the little rabbit called up the number and when the doctor heard what was the matter, he said, "You had better come to see me.

"You have the automobile right there, and it's a dangerous thing to have so large a splinter as that. Tell Mr. Bear he'll have a dreadful corn if it isn't taken out at once."

So they all hurried away and pretty soon they came to Lily Pond, and there was Dr. Duck swimming around among the pond lilies and the frogs, having a lovely time. And wasn't he sunburnt? Well, I should say he was. His bill was as dark as a little brown berry and his nose was as red as a little choke cherry.

"That looks very serious to me," said he, putting on his glasses and looking at Mr. Bear's injured feet. "I'll have to get a saw and cut off your foot." And then Mr. Bear gave a dreadful howl. "Oh, please don't saw off my foot. It's sore enough already."

"I didn't mean to saw off your foot," said Dr. Duck. "Did I say that? I mean to saw off the splinter and then put on a poultice and draw out the pain."

Well, it took a long time to do all that, and the poor Bear cried several times, for it hurt the splinter dreadfully, you know, to be sawed off that way. But by and by the poultice began to draw, and pretty soon out came the splinter, and Mr. Bear felt ever so much better. That is, until the doctor said, "It will cost you a million dollars, for that was a very serious operation."

"I've never even seen a million dollars," said the Bear. "Nor even a million cents. You'll have to mail me a corrected bill," and then he jumped into the automobile and asked Uncle Lucky to drive away.

"Stop, stop!" cried the Duck Doctor, but Uncle Lucky paid no attention to him, any more than the Bear paid the bill. "You send a corrected bill to my friend," said the old gentleman rabbit. "And, mind you, you had better correct it three times and a half if you ever want it paid."

And in the next story you shall hear of an exciting adventure which the two little rabbits had with a fretful porcupine.

STORY XXIII.

BUNNY AND THE FRETFUL PORCUPINE.

Oh, never tease a porcupine, For reasons I'll relate, He's like a cushion full of pins That stand out stiff and straight. And if you stand too close I know He'll stick one in your little toe.

Well, that's just what Uncle Lucky did, and of course he got stuck with one of those prickly, stickery porcupine needles and it was an awful bother to get it out.

And the fretful porcupine laughed and this made Billy Bunny very angry, and he took his popgun out of his knapsack and hit the porcupine on the end of the nose with the cork bullet, and this made the prickly animal run away.

And after that the two rabbits started off again in the Luckymobile and by and by they came to a little village where they made lollypops by the million. And the first thing Uncle Lucky did was to buy a big box full of them and put it in the back of the Luckymobile, "for," said the kind old gentleman rabbit, "we may run across some boys and girls and then we'll have something nice to give them."

Wasn't that kind of him? But he was always doing nice things, was dear, kind, generous Uncle Lucky.

Well, after a while they came to some woods where a picnic was being held. There were lots and lots of children playing under the trees and the women were sitting around talking and telling their troubles, and the men were making whistles and bows and arrows for the boys and telling how they used to shoot with them when they were little boys.

"Helloa there, children!" cried Uncle Lucky, while Billy Bunny honked the horn. "Don't you want some lollypops?" And in about five hundred short seconds there wasn't a lollypop left in that big box, and Uncle Lucky was a hero, or a Santa Claus, I don't remember which. And then one big boy said, "Let's give three cheers for the two rabbits and one more for the Luckymobile."

And you never heard such a noise in your life. One little boy got so excited that he swallowed a raspberry lollypop and his mother had to reach down his throat and pull it out by the stick.

"Now be good until I see you again," said the kind old gentleman rabbit as he drove off, and by and by Billy Bunny saw something moving among the trees.

"What's that?" he said to his rabbit uncle. But before the old gentleman rabbit could reply, a big stone hit one of the lamps on the automobile and broke it to splintereens.

"Stop that whoever you are!" shouted Billy Bunny. "If you do it again I'll shoot!" and he held his popgun up to his shoulder just like a soldier boy in battle.

And if the little canary in my room doesn't wink at me all night so that I can't hear the alarm clock in the morning, I'll tell you another story.

STORY XXIV.

BILLY BUNNY AND DANNY BILLYGOAT.

Well, my little canary bird didn't wink at me all night, as I feared it might in the last story, and my alarm clock said "good morning" to me at half-past fourteen o'clock, so I got up in time, and here is the story I wrote before I went out into the garden to eat raspberries with Robbie Redbreast.

One evening as Uncle Lucky and Billy Bunny were driving along in the Luckymobile, who should they come across but a little billygoat named Danny.

He had a little beard that hung down from his chin and two little horns that stuck up from his head, and he was playing on a flute while he sat cross-legged on a stone by the roadside. And when he saw our two small friends in their machine, he began to play:

It's not so far to the twinkle star In the little white boat of sleep. So list to my tune, like a breeze in June, Where the honeysuckles creep.

Over the sky, way up high, In the little white boat of sleep. Ever so far to the twinkle star Way up in the sky blue deep.

"Where did you learn that lullaby," asked kind Uncle Lucky, brushing a tear from his eye, for he remembered just a little song his mother used to sing when he was a little boy rabbit, you know.

"I don't know," answered Danny Goat. He pulled on his goatee and smiled, and then he began again:

"Up in the sky when the sun is high The white cloud boats go sailing by, And the summer breeze in the tall, tall trees Is singing a song the whole day long. And this is the song they sing: We ring the bell in the cool damp dell That grows on the lily's stalk, We bend the ferns in the river's turns And the tail of the great gray hawk; And the foamy spray in the big deep bay We blow on the great boardwalk."

"That reminds me of Atlantic City," said Uncle Lucky. "Let's drive down there and go for a swim."

"Just the thing," said the little rabbit; "I've got my bathing suit in my knapsack. I'm ready."

So off they went, and by and by they came to the seashore. But there wasn't a hotel in sight, so of course they knew they had made a mistake. They didn't care, especially Billy Bunny, for not very far from land was the big good-natured whale who had taken him for a sail a long, long time ago. "There's my friend the Whaleship!" cried the little rabbit.

And in the next story, if that whale doesn't swim away, I'll tell you something more about Billy Bunny and his kind Uncle Lucky.

STORY XXV.

BILLY BUNNY AND THE WHALE.

You remember in the story before this that Billy Bunny and Uncle Lucky were at the seashore, and out a little ways from the land was the good-natured Whale.

Well, as soon as he saw the little rabbit he swam up to the beach and said "Hello." And then Billy Bunny introduced him to Uncle Lucky, and after that the Whale said:

"Don't you both want to go for a sail?" and as the old gentleman rabbit had never been on a whaleship in his life, he said yes right away, and so did the little rabbit.

Then the Whale pushed his tail up on the sand and the two little rabbits hopped over it just like a bridge, and then they sat down, and away went the whale with a swish of his tail that spattered the spray all over the bay.

"Goodness me!" cried the old gentleman rabbit, "I'll have to wipe off my spectacles," and he took his polka-dot handkerchief from his pocket, and after that he tied it over his old wedding stovepipe hat, for he wasn't going to lose that hat, no siree, and a no sireemam, not even if he had to tie the anchor to it. By and by, not so very long, they heard a sweet voice singing, so they looked everywhere, but the only thing they saw was the big green ocean.

"I wonder who is singing?" said Uncle Lucky, and he took his spyglass out of his waistcoat pocket and twisted it around and around until he could see distinctly, which means plainly, you know.

"There she is!" cried the old gentleman rabbit, and he got so excited that he looked through the wrong end of the spyglass and then he said, "No, she isn't!" for he couldn't see anything at all that way, you know.

"What did you see?" asked the little rabbit, and he pushed forward Uncle Lucky's old wedding stovepipe hat to keep it from falling over his left ear.

"A mermaid!" cried the old gentleman rabbit, and before he could turn the spyglass the other way a lovely mermaid swam up and handed him her card, and on it was written in lovely purple ink:

Miss Coral Seafoam, Oceanville, U. S. A.

"Pleased to meet you," cried the old gentleman rabbit most politely. "This is my nephew, William Bunny, Brier Patch, Old Snake Fence Corner, and my name is Mr. Lucky Lefthindfoot and I live in Lettuceville, corner of Carrot and Lettuce streets," and then he tried to take off his hat, but he couldn't, for it was tied down tight, you remember, with his blue polka-dot handkerchief.

And after that the mermaid asked them to visit her coral island, where she and her sisters sold coral beads and scarfpins. And in the next story you shall hear--well, I guess I won't tell you now, but let you wait and see.

STORY XXVI.

BILLY BUNNY AND THE MERMAID.

Well, now we'll commence by saying that as soon as Billy Bunny and Uncle Lucky reached the coral island, where the lovely mermaid lived, for she had asked them to call, you remember, they got off the Whale, and, after asking him to wait for them while they made a little visit, sat down on the sand, and pretty soon the mermaid brought them each a lovely coral scarfpin, and the one she gave to Uncle Lucky was a little image of herself and the one she gave to Billy Bunny was a little fish.

Then the little rabbit opened his knapsack and took out a lovely apple pie and gave it to her. And she was so pleased that she ate it all up, and then she said, "I'll give you a lovely breast-pin made of beautiful coral for your mother, Mr. Billy Bunny, if you'll give me another pie."