Category: Humour
This is the fourth book that I have published in response to the clamorous appeals of the public. I had long hoped to publish a larger, better, and if possible a redder book than the first; one that would contain my better thoughts; thoughts that I had thought when I was feeli...
This is the fourth book that I have published in response to the clamorous appeals of the public. I had long hoped to publish a larger, better, and if possible a redder book tha...
2. Part 2Archimedes, whose given name has been accidentally torn off and swallowed up in oblivion, was born in Syracuse, 2,171 years ago last spring. He was a philosopher and mathematica...
3. Part 3My friend says that he feels sure you would not have done so if you had fully realized how he felt about it. He claims that in the first week of your administration you have bas...
4. Part 4That is why I say that the profession of medicine should not be allowed to conflict with the solemn duties of the coroner. They are constantly clashing and infringing upon each...
5. Part 5I got acquainted with the porter, and he blacked my boots in the night unbeknownst to me, while I was engaged in slumber. He must have thought I was your father, and that we rol...
6. Part 6All the bitter and irreverent remarks of Bob Ingersoll have fallen harmlessly upon the minds of our people. The flippant sneers and wicked sarcasms of the modern infidel, wise i...
7. Part 7Over at Kasota Junction, the other day, I found a living curiosity. He was a man of about medium height, perhaps 45 years of age, of a quiet disposition, and not noticeable or p...
8. Part 8"No, William," he said sadly, "worse than that. I stopped at a seaside hotel. Had I gone to New York City and hunted up the gentlemanly bunko man and the Wall street dealer in l...
9. Part 9If I had a little more confidence in my longevity than I now have, I would go down there to the Valley of the Jordan, and I would gird up my loins, and I would write with that l...
10. Part 10I then decided to light the gas and fight it out. You have no doubt seen a man scratch a match on the leg of his pantaloons. Perhaps you have also seen an absent-minded man unde...
11. Part 11They are not using a very good grade of the weed in the lumber regions this winter. When I say lumber regions I do not refer entirely to the circumstances of a weak back. (Monke...
12. Part 12Throughout a long and disastrous war, sometimes referred to as a fraticidal war, during which this fair land was drenched in blood, and also during which aforesaid war numerous...
13. Part 13It is said that our government officials are not sufficiently paid; and I presume that is the case, so it became necessary to economize in every way; but, why should wives conce...
14. Part 14Taking different classes of food, I have set them to music in such a way that the meal, for instance, may open with a Soup Overture, to be followed by a Roast Beef March in C, a...