Part 6

“I was stationed at Deolai, and shared a tent with Lieutenants Le Mare, of the 1st Royal Irish Fusiliers, and R. MacDonald, of the Yorkshire Regiment. To us there came one day a slim young native accompanied by a grey-bearded assistant, carrying a couple of baskets of snakes and magic paraphernalia. After the ordinary stock of tricks had been performed, such as the basket, mango tree, vanishing ball, etc., the juggler said in his broken English, ‘Sahibs give two rupees, I show good thing.’ When the rupees were produced the juggler took the larger of the two baskets, containing the python, and placed it upon a large cloth, the four corners of which he knotted together with a strong thin rope. At the end of this rope were affixed two little hollow leaden cups.

“These cups the man placed over his eyeballs in such a manner that a vacuum was created; then he shut his eyelids firmly over the outside of the cups, and, rising up from his former squatting position, he lifted the heavy basket containing the snake by the grip of his eyelids and the suction on his eyeballs alone.

“After the feat was finished and the cups had been removed, to the accompaniment of a horrid sucking sound, I examined the man’s eyes, which were horribly bloodshot; moreover, he seemed to have difficulty in seeing for a few minutes, and the tears streamed down his cheeks.

“I have never heard of this feat being performed before or since but I vouch for its authenticity, for both Mr. Le Mare and I took several snapshots which I enclose.”

* * *

“WORDS, WORDS, WORDS”

Hamlet, Act II, Sc. 2

The English language is quite frugal with the letters of the alphabet as compared to the prodigality of foreign tongues. How the Germans do squander the alphabet!

What is the longest word in the English language? Who knows? Here are, however, a few that have posed for the time being as the longest words in the language.

The word most frequently cited is _honorificabilitudinity_, which is to be found in Shakespeare’s “Love’s Labor Lost,” act 5, scene 1, line 44. To the Puritan divine Byfeld we owe _incircumscriptibleness_. Doctor Benson is credited with _antidisestablishmentarions_. To William E. Gladstone we owe _disestablishmentarianism_.

An examination of any treatise on chemistry will reveal several like these: _paraoxymentamethoxyallylbenzene_, and _tetrahydroparamethyloxyquinoline_.

Among modern German words of cumbersome formation is _Schützengrabenvernichtungsautomobile_, which contains thirty-six letters to express what the English indicate by the word “tank” in its military sense.

There is also the “Turkish Association of Constantinopolitan Bagpipe Makers,” which is designed in German by _Constantinopolitanischedudelsackspfeifenmachergesellschaft_.

Bismarck always spoke of a druggist as _Gesundheitswiederherstellungs- mittelzusammenmischungsverhältnisskundiger_. When he was angry he vented his spleen with this expletive--_Himmelherrgottkreuzmillionen- donnerwetter!_ _Damenmantelschneiderinnungskrankenkassenhauptvor- standsmitgliederversammlung_ is a nice German way of saying “Assembly of the all-highest direction of the sick fund of the union of female cloak tailors.” And there is a club of Vienna called _Donau- dampfschifffahrtselectricitaetenhauptbetriebswerkbauunterbeamtenge- sellschaft_, which contains 81 letters.

You can give your tongue a rest by pronouncing this little Czech phrase--_Strc prst skrz krk._ That twister is literally translated into “thrust finger through neck.”

This one should be easy for you--_Chrzaszcz szumi w trzcinie._ It is the Polish way of saying that “the bug buzzes in the reeds.”

* * *

Here is the longest 12-word telegram. It won a prize in London in 1904:

_Administrator-General’s counter-revolutionary intercommunications uncircumstantiated Stop Quartermaster-General’s disproportionableness characteristically contradistinguished unconstitutionalist’s incomprehensibilities Stop._

* * *

A Revenue Agent in Germany is called by this name _Obertranksteuerdonativcautionszinsgelderhauptcassir_ which may be literally translated “First Main Cashier of Duty on Drinks and Bail Rent Moneys.”

* * *

Madame Schwartz, of Berlin, could understand a speech with the words pronounced backwards.

* * *

There is a river “Aa” in Pas de Calais, France. There is a lake called “Oo,” and a town called “Oo” in the Dept. of Haute Garonne.

* * *

HINTERLADUNGVETTERLIGEWEHRPATRONENHÜLSENFABRIKARBEITERVEREIN

“Society of workers in the factory of bullet cartridges for back loading Vetterli rifles.”

* * *

“PARAMINOBENZOYLDIAETHYLAMINOAETHANOLUMPHYDROCHLORICUM”

--ought to be in every medicine chest. Advertisement in a French newspaper.

* * *

Mons. Wzs is a native of the village of Ws, in France.

* * *

THE 1792 FAMILY

1792 is not a number but a name. The 1792 family is living in Coulommiers, France. There are four sons--and each is named after the months. January 1792, February 1792, March 1792, and April 1792.

March 1792 died in September 1904.

* * *

EPIGRAM UPON NOTHING

U O A O but I O thee, O O no O but O O me; Let not my O a mere O go, But O my O I O thee so. You sigh for a cipher but I sigh for thee O sigh for no cipher but O sigh for me; Let not my sigh for a mere cipher go, But sigh for my sigh, for I sigh for thee so.

_Composed by Rev. R. Egerton, Warburton._

* * *

CAN YOU PUNCTUATE THIS SENTENCE?

That that is is that that is not is not but that that is not is not that that is nor is that that is that that is not.

That, that is, is; that, that is not, is not; but that, that is not, is not that that is; nor is that, that is, that that is not.

* * *

“THAT” WORD USED 7 TIMES IN SUCCESSION

It is true for all that, that that that that that that signifies, is not the one to which I refer.

* * *

Enough of that.

* * *

Can you put a comma between--“The king and and and and and Queen”?

* * *

IT’S THE KATZ

The oldest surname in the world is KATZ (the initials of the two words--Kohen Tsedek). Every Katz is a priest, descending in an unbroken line from Aaron the brother of Moses, 1300 B.C.

* * *

Short sentences containing all the letters of the alphabet:

A quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog.

Pack my box with five dozen liquor jugs.

* * *

_Machoumearobilengmonoolemongametsoarobilengmonoolemong_ means “99” in the language of the Bassoutos tribe of Africa.

* * *

* * *

The longest name yet wished on a helpless infant was bestowed some years ago upon the little daughter of Arthur Pepper, a Liverpool laundryman. The child’s initials exhausted the alphabet, and her christening occupied half a day. They called her Anna Bertha Cecilia Diana Emily Fanny Gertrude Hypatia Inez Jane Kate Louise Maud Nora Ophelia Prudence Quince Rebecca Sarah Teresa Ulysis Venus Winifred Xenophon Yetty Zeno Pepper. She was usually called Alphabet Pepper for short.

* * *

Ed Ek, of Brockton, Mass., owns the shortest name in the United States.

* * *

There is a city called “A” in Sweden, and a city in Wales called _Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgerychwyrndrobwllgerdysiliogogogoch_. I have been in a bay called “Y” in the Zuyder Zee, and on a Lake called _Chargoggagoggmanchaugagoggchaubunagungamaug_ in Connecticut--which means in the Indian language, “You fish on your side, I fish on my side; nobody shall fish in the middle.”

* * *

THE LONGEST WORD IN THE WORLD CONTAINS 184 LETTERS

This word is found in Aristophanes, Ecclesiazousae 1169. It means “hash.”

_Lepado-temacho-selacho-galeo-kranio-leipsano-drim-hypotrimmato- silphio-karabo-melito-katakechymeno-kichl-epikossypho-phatto-perister- alektryon-opto-kephallio-kingklo-pepeio-lagoio-siraio-baphe-tragano- pterygon._

* * *

THERE ARE 58,366,440 DIFFERENT WAYS OF SPELLING THE WORD “SCISSORS”--(PHONETICALLY)

The vocal (phonetical) value of the word scissors is S-I-Z-E-R-S.

There are 17 ways to spell the sound S in English. „ „ 36 „ „ „ „ I „ „ „ 17 „ „ „ „ Z „ „ „ 33 „ „ „ „ E „ „ „ 10 „ „ „ „ R „ „ „ 17 „ „ „ „ S „

On this basis it is merely a question of mathematics to arrive at the stupendous number of 58,366,440 possible ways of spelling the word.

You will find “all the justifiable forms” of reproducing the 6 sounds S-I-Z-E-R-S in the _“Plea for reformed spelling” pages 35-39 by Alexander John Ellis_.

* * *

THE AUTHOR WHO NEVER READ A BOOK

Pierre Loti, on the occasion of his initiation ceremony as a member of the French academy in 1892, addressed his fellow members as follows: “_Je n’ai jamais rien lu. Par paresse d’esprit, par une frayeur inexpliquée des choses avant d’avoir commencé je n’ai jamais rien lu._” (I have never read anything. Through laziness of the spirit, an unexplained fright of things before I start, I have never read anything.)

When interviewed by a representative of the “_Revue des deux Mondes_” in 1900 he reiterated this statement and called it “the only truthful one of all legends connected with my person.”

* * *

AN AMERICAN PALINDROME

N O M A D O C A N A M A D A M A N A C O D A M O N

Doc. Applegate.

* * *

ANTIPERICATAMETAPARHENGEDAMPHICRIBRATIONES

Is the title of a book by Rabelais.

“_Aldiborontephoscophornio_, where left you _Chrononhotonthologos_?” is a burlesque pomposo in Henry Carey’s farce.

When traveling in Argentina, I met a man in Buenos Aires whose name was Señor Don Juan Iturriberrigorrigoicoerotaberricooechea.

Pe Maung, in his “The Glass Palace Chronicle of the Kings of Burma,” mentions the name of King Siritaribhavanadityapauaraanditasudhammarajamahadhipatinarapatisithu. His subjects were compelled to pronounce the entire 69 letters whenever they were permitted to address him.

The thirteenth holder of the title of “Living Budha,” or Dalai Lama, of Lhassa, Tibet, was called “Ahwangloputsangtoputanchiatachichiawangchuchuehlelangschieh.” This name was comparatively easy for his worshipers as it only contains 58 letters.

Mark Twain speaks of a Holy Man in Benares, India, who had 109 names--the last of which contained 58 letters. He writes it this way Sri 108 Matparamahansaparivrajakacharyaswamibhaskaranandasaraswati.

* * *

A little Honolulu lady bears this appellation: Miss Kalani Kaumehamehakahikikalanynakawahinekuhao.

The late Western Empress Dowager, of China, that ancient Dame who hated the “Foreign Devils” with such celestial severity, was named: Tzu-hsi-tuan-yu-kang-hsi-chao-yu-chuang-cheng-shou-kung-chin-hsien- chung-hsi-huang-tai-hou. A careful count reveals 72 letters--all important.

If the old Chinese Empress possessed the longest appellation, then just as surely does one of her many millions of subjects possess the shortest of all names. Meet Mr. “I,” of Hangchow, China. Philologists all declare this name the shortest as it is only one letter long and that letter displaces less space than any other in the alphabet. Mr. I is a graduate of the Johns Hopkins Medical School in Baltimore.

THE MENTAL MARVEL

Elijah, the Gaon, Chief Rabbi of Lithuania, possessed such a prodigal memory that he never forgot a book once he read it. Prof. Graetz, noted contemporary historian, states that the Gaon committed to memory 2,500 volumes. He knew by heart the Bible, Midrash, Mekilta, Sifre Tosefta, Seder Olam, the Talmuds (Babylonian and Jerusalmi), the Zohar, the Code, Rashi, Rambam, etc. and could quote any passage at will.

This venerable scholar resided in Vilna, the ancient capital of Lithuania, which at the time was the largest Jewish settlement in the world. His memory is revered to the present day by the Jews of Eastern Europe, and the above ancient print of the Gaon is prominently displayed on the Eastern wall of almost every orthodox dwelling.

HOT LIPS

Beauty, of course, is a matter of personal opinion, but surely nowhere in the world do people have stranger opinions than among the Saras-Djinges in Africa. The distorted lips of these Central-Africa belles are one of the most astonishing customs in the world. Their lips are pierced with wooden discs of increasing size until the lower lip is distended to such an extent that 14-inch soup plates can be worn. The enormous overgrowth of lip makes chewing of food impossible, so these women must live almost entirely upon a liquid diet. Speech is almost impossible and so difficult that they do not make anything but the most necessary splutters.

When a girl is about four years old her future husband makes a hole in the centers of her upper and lower lips with a rough knife and small pegs of wood are placed within. Gradually the size of the wooden pegs are increased until by the time she has reached womanhood her lips are things of beauty and a joy forever.

At night the Djinges wife sleeps with her huge lower lip on her husband’s shoulder. This enables him to feel sure that his wife is with him, that she has not been stolen, or run away from him in the darkness.

* * *

PILLAR SAINTS

A man may be too foolish for his own good--but not for mine. Their folly is my fortune. I’ll get rich off the ridiculous yet. As long as they have ‘Bunion Derbies,’ Marathon Dances, Non-Stop Coffee Drinkers, and Pole-Sitters, the “Believe It or Not” business will prosper.

For instance, if someone had told you some time ago that a man in his right mind would climb a pole and sit on top of it for more than two weeks without once descending you most likely would not believe it.

Of course you know better now. You have grown accustomed to that particular and peculiar swarm of Koo-Koo birds who have been infesting the flag poles of our nation for some time past.

“Shipwreck” Kelly began it with a well-sat record of 12 days and 12 hours. “Spider” Haines clambered up a pole in Denver and stayed there four days longer than “Shipwreck Kel.” Soon all the available flag-poles in the country were inhabited. The city of Los Angeles was topped by a girl--even the air is elevating out there. Miss Bobby Mack, age 21, perched herself aloft for nearly three weeks.

I am not quite sure which one of these nuts is the nuttiest--but I think “Hold ’Em” Joe Powers, of Chicago, who stayed on top of the Morrison Hotel flag pole, 637 feet above Randolph Street, for 16 days, 2 hours and 35 minutes, is deserving of the crown of razzberries--or whatever they give the winners of sitting contests.

Let me add a comment from a Chicago paper just to give you an idea of fun at top-mast.

(Chicago Tribune Press Service)

Chicago, July 16.--“Hold ’Em” Joe Powers, a dusty, dirty, frazzly, frowzy creature, came down from his flagpole.

Six teeth were gone; his legs were swollen; little needles of nerves burned into the soles of his feet when he tried to walk; his hair was snarled and matted; his beard was long; his face was black; his neck was sunburned.

But life had its compensations.

Joe had the memory of a record sixteen days, two hours and thirty-odd minutes on top of the flagpole which is on top of the roof which is on top of the tower which is on top of the Morrison Hotel.

But no matter what you do, whether it is sitting on top of a flag pole or on a tack there seems to be someone who has done you one better at some time or other. Now Sitting Joe and “Shipwreck” Kelly to all intents and purposes did some tall sitting; but I have seen better!

I saw a man who had been sitting on a bed of sharp spikes for 18 years. (I have already told you about him on page 9.)

And there was that man Savan. Savan’s sitting amounted to something. He is the only sitter that I have ever heard of that had a practical idea behind him--or I should say under him. Savan was a soldier in Napoleon’s army in Egypt. He went AWOL or something. You know the women out there all wear veils and maybe Savan got curious. The veil is the great beauty secret of the Orient. The heavier the veil the greater the beauty. I haven’t the same faith in Oriental beauty since I have been out there. And particularly since I discovered that Cleopatra was fat and black and 46 years old and married to her brother when she met Mark Antony, who was 60 himself and wore a full set of whiskers. But as I was saying, Savan was ordered to do K.P. work but demurred. Nap called him in and asked him “Qu’est-ce que ça?”

“I am not able to work,” said Savan. “I am too weak to do anything more than just sitting around.” So they took him at his word and gave him just such a job. They fixed up a nest of hen’s eggs and placed Savan on it--and kept him sitting there, mad as a wet hen, until he hatched 3 broods of chickens!

But a word about Simon. Here was a man who really could sit. They called him Simon of the Pillar. Maybe he was a forefather of the illustrious Simple Simon of nautical fame. But Simon could sit. He was a Syrian ascetic who sat on top of a marble column in Alexandria for 69 years--without descending one time. Simon clambered up the column when a young boy and remained seated on this narrow space of less than 3 feet in diameter until his death years later.

This man belonged to a school of “Pillar-Saints”--a class of ascetics who sat atop various columns or rocks in the Near East, in the expectation of catching the first glint of the second coming of Christ, in the 5th and 6th centuries.

St. Simon the Elder, who is the subject of Tennyson’s “St. Simon Stylites” (he spent 37 years sitting on top of a column) and St. Simon the Younger who remained aloft for 69 years, are the two best known.

During my several trips to Egypt and Syria I saw many standing columns, especially around Antioch, and they all bore some kind of a legend about some such “Saint” or other, who sat atop them for various lengths of time.

Food and drink were passed up to them, and the climate, as you know, is very mild in the Near East.

_I refer you to the following books: “Die Säulen Heiligen im Arabischen,” by Dr. Ignatz Weinzieher; “St. Simon Stylites,” by René Aldoni; “Stylites or Pillar Saints,” by Herbert Thurston._

* * *

TWO SCANDINAVIANS ROWED ACROSS THE ATLANTIC OCEAN

Just thirty years ago two Norwegians rowed--actually _rowed_--across the Atlantic from New York. They made no great fuss about it. They were in New York. The weather was fine. They reckoned that they would row home and see how the old folks were getting on. Of course one ought to have a good, reliable rowing-boat, not a second-hand craft, so, like most wise cockleshell cruisers, they built her themselves, of well and truly seasoned cedar-wood. Eighteen ft. long was she, clinker built, with a 5-ft. beam and a depth inside of 35 in. _Fox_ was her name. She dropped down the river from New York, on the outgoing tide, at five o’clock on the afternoon of June 6, 1896.

For more than a month the life of the rowers was relatively uneventful. The sun shone. The hills of swell went rolling majestically by. The oars were steadily plied, shift after shift. One ate. One sang. One slept.

Then things began to happen and their trip the rest of the way was a nightmare. God was good to them, however, and eventually they made the port of Havre where they landed sixty-two days after leaving New York. By examining their log-book and talking with them, Dr. Chancellor, the at first openly sceptical American consul at that port, ascertained that this astounding feat had indeed been accomplished.

* * *

WEDDED FOR 147 YEARS

All records for a long and happy wedded life belong to Janos Roven and his good wife Sara. They lived together as man and wife for 147 years--and almost saw their third golden jubilee.

Janos and Sara were born in the little village of Stradova, Comitat (County) Casanseber, Banat (Province) of Temesvar, Hungary; and they both died there--Janos being 172 years old and Sara, 164.

The aged couple attracted considerable attention during the later years of the wedlock, and the Dutch envoy in Vienna visited them and had their pictures painted. This painting is now in the possession of William Bosville, the trustee of the Earl of Northumberland, who also has the original documents of their marriage.

Janos and Sara died almost on the same day in 1825. Their son, aged 116 years, and his two great-great-grandsons, were at the bedside.

* * *

THE LAND OF THE HUMMING BIRDS

Early one morning--Oh! earlier than one wants to get up in indolent weather--we approached La Boca del Dragon--the Mouth of the Dragon, and squeezed in among the teeth-like islands onto the peaceful bosom of placid Paria and slid silently and quietly down along the ever-green shore of Trinidad.

“_Rocklets of ocean, so bright in your green, Bosomed on Paria’s stormless breast, How many mem’ries of times that have been Linger around ye, sweet Isles of the West._”

Trinidad!--“The Trinity.” So named by Columbus when he first sighted it--not only on account of its formation, but in fulfillment of a vow he had made when in dire distress on the unknown sea with his wine, water, and food all gone.

Since we have all the wine and food we want (and we can get water) I prefer the appellation “Iere” as the Caribs called it--the “Land of the Humming Birds”--a well-merited name from the myriads of winged gems that fly like glowing sparks in the deep green forests that pile up so picturesquely on the starboard. Glittering Paradise!

Nature is nowhere more charming than on this warm, sweet isle. My arborist friend tells me that among the effulgent efflorescence of Iere there grows the _Tecoma Serratifolia_--the _Borassus Flabelliformis_, the _Corypha Umbracilifera_--the _Pithecolobium Saman_, and the _Couroupita Guianesis_. But they are rare and beautiful just the same.

Columbus and Raleigh wrote home to their girl friend, Isabella, about “the oysters that grew on trees; crabs that climb their branches; trumpet fish that tooted their own fish horns; and about the Cascadura fish that wore a coat of mail.”

Isa only laughed and said “Creelo ó no.”

And I suppose you will say so too when I tell you about the Burning Birds of Huevos. Huevos is that little egg-shaped island off toward Venezuela where there is a cave full of whirring birds that suck goats and grow so fat that the natives of Paria stick wicks through them and use them for candles.

We were only 10 degrees from the equator--that magic line where nature is the strongest and man is the weakest. Here the earth grows vigorous and man grows lazy. The land turns green and the people turn black.

Kipling said something about East is East and West is West and never the twain shall meet, but Rud forgot about the Port of Spain. East Indians and West Indians meet and mix. The island is one-third Hindoo and the mixture is well seasoned with Chinese, Japs, Syrians wearing their turbans and saroongs, shirts and pants. The singular Singhalees and the Trinadadians act like brothers under their black skins.