Chapter 5

201. “I would rather forget what I owe to myself than what I owe to others.”

(To Frau Streicher, in the summer of 1817.)

202. “I never practice revenge. When I must antagonize others I do no more than is necessary to protect myself against them, or prevent them from doing further evil.”

(To Frau Streicher, in reference to the troubles which his servants gave him, many of which, no doubt, were due to faults of his own, excusable in a man in his condition of health.)

203. “Be convinced that mankind, even in your case, will always be sacred to me.”

(To Czapka, Magisterial Councillor, August, 1826, in the matter of his nephew’s attempt at suicide.)

204. “H. is, and always will be, too weak for friendship, and I look upon him and Y. as mere instruments upon which I play when I feel like it; but they can never be witnesses of my internal and external activities, and just as little real participants. I value them according as they do me service.”

(Summer of 1800, to the friend of his youth, Pastor Amenda. H. was probably the faithful Baron Zmeskall von Domanovecz.)

205. “If it amuses them to talk and write about me in that manner, let them go on.”

(Reported by Schindler as referring to critics who had declared him ripe for the madhouse.)

206. “To your gentlemen critics I recommend a little more foresight and shrewdness, particularly in respect of the products of younger authors, as many a one, who might otherwise make progress, may be frightened off. So far as I am concerned I am far from thinking myself so perfect as not to be able to endure faulting; yet at the beginning the clamor of your critic was so debasing that I could scarcely discuss the matter when I compared myself with others, but had to remain quiet and think: they do not understand. I was the more able to remain quiet when I recalled how men were praised who signify little among those who know, and who have almost disappeared despite their good points. Well, pax vobiscum, peace to them and me,--I would never have mentioned a syllable had you not begun.”

(April 22, 1801, to Breitkopf and Hartel, publishers of the “Allgemeine Musik Zeitung.”)

207. “Who was happier than I when I could still pronounce the sweet word ‘mother’ and have it heard? To whom can I speak it now?”

(September 15, 1787, from Bonn to Dr. Schade, of Augsburg, who had aided him in his return journey from Vienna to Bonn. His mother had died on July 17, 1787.)

208. “I seldom go anywhere since it was always impossible for me to associate with people where there was not a certain exchange of ideas.”

(February 15, 1817, to Brentano of Frankfurt.)

209. “Not a word about rest! I know of none except in sleep, and sorry enough am I that I am obliged to yield up more to it than formerly.”

(November 16, 1801, or 1802, to Wegeler. In Homer’s “Odyssey” Beethoven thickly underscored the words: “Too much sleep is injurious.” XV, 393.)

210. “Rest assured that you are dealing with a true artist who likes to be paid decently, it is true, but who loves his own reputation and also the fame of his art; who is never satisfied with himself and who strives continually to make even greater progress in his art.”

(November 23, 1809, to George Thomson, of Edinburgh, for whom Beethoven arranged the Scotch songs.)

211. “My motto is always: nulla die sine linea; and if I permit the muse to go to sleep it is only that she may awake strengthened.”

(October 7, 1826, to Wegeler.)

212. “There is no treatise likely to be too learned for me. Without laying claim to real learning it is yet true that since my childhood I have striven to learn the minds of the best and wisest of every period of time. It is a disgrace for every artist who does not try to do as much.”

(November 2, 1809, to Breitkopf and Hartel, of Leipzig.)

213. “Without wishing in the least to set myself up as an exemplar I assure you that I lived in a small and insignificant place, and made out of myself nearly all that I was there and am here;--this to your comfort in case you feel the need of making progress in art.”

(Baden, July 6, 1804, to Herr Wiedebein, of Brunswick, who had asked if it was advisable for a music teacher and student to make his home in Vienna.)

214. “There is much on earth to be done,--do it soon! I must not continue my present everyday life,--art asks this sacrifice also. Take rest in diversion in order to work more energetically.”

(Diary, 1814.)

215. “The daily grind exhausts me.”

(Baden, August 23, 1823, to his nephew Karl.)

THE SUFFERER

216. “Compelled to be a philosopher as early as my 28th year;--it is not an easy matter,--more difficult for the artist than any other man.”

(October 6, 1802; the Heiligenstadt Will.)

217. “Compelled to contemplate a lasting malady, born with an ardent and lively temperament, susceptible to the diversions of society, I was obliged at an early date to isolate myself and live a life of solitude.”

(From the same.)

218. “It was impossible for me to say to others: speak louder; shout! for I am deaf. Ah! was it possible for me to proclaim a deficiency in that one sense which in my case ought to have been more perfect than in all others, which I had once possessed in greatest perfection, to a degree of perfection, indeed, which few of my profession have ever enjoyed?”

(From the same.)

219. “For me there can be no recreation in human society, refined conversation, mutual exchange of thoughts and feelings; only so far as necessity compels may I give myself to society,--I must live like an exile.”

(From the same.)

220. “How great was the humiliation when one who stood beside me heard the distant sound of a shepherd’s pipe, and I heard nothing; or heard the shepherd singing, and I heard nothing. Such experiences brought me to the verge of despair;--but little more and I should have put an end to my life. Art, art alone deterred me.”

(From the same.)

221. “I may say that I live a wretched existence. For almost two years I have avoided all social gatherings because it is impossible for me to tell the people I am deaf. If my vocation were anything else it might be more endurable, but under the circumstances the condition is terrible; besides what would my enemies say,--they are not few in number! To give you an idea of this singular deafness let me tell you that in the theatre I must lean over close to the orchestra in order to understand the actor; if I am a little remote from them I do not hear the high tones of instruments and voices; it is remarkable that there are persons who have not observed it, but because I am generally absent-minded my conduct is ascribed to that.”

(Vienna, June 29, 1800, to Wegeler. “To you only do I confide this as a secret.” Concerning his deafness see Appendix.)

222. “My defective hearing appeared everywhere before me like a ghost; I fled from the presence of men, was obliged to appear to be a misanthrope although I am so little such.”

(November 16, 1801, or 1800, to Wegeler, in writing to him about his happy love. “Unfortunately, she is not of my station in life.”)

223. “Truly, a hard lot has befallen me! Yet I accept the decree of Fate, and continually pray to God to grant that as long as I must endure this death in life, I may be preserved from want.”

(March 14, 1827, to Moscheles, after Beethoven had undergone the fourth operation for dropsy and was confronting the fifth. He died on March 26, 1827.)

224. “Live alone in your art! Restricted though you be by your defective sense, this is still the only existence for you.”

(Diary, 1816.)

225. “Dissatisfied with many things, more susceptible than any other person and tormented by my deafness, I often find only suffering in the association with others.”

(In 1815, to Brauchle, tutor in the house of Countess Erdody.)

226. “I have emptied a cup of bitter suffering and already won martyrdom in art through the kindness of art’s disciples and my art associates.”

(In the summer of 1814, to Advocate Kauka. “Socrates and Jesus were my exemplars,” he remarks in a conversation-book of 1819.)

227. “Perfect the ear trumpets as far as possible, and then travel; this you owe to yourself, to mankind and to the Almighty! Only thus can you develop all that is still locked within you;--and a little court,--a little chapel,--writing the music and having it performed to the glory of the Almighty, the Eternal, the Infinite---”

(Diary, 1815. Beethoven was hoping to receive an appointment as chapelmaster from his former pupil, Archduke Rudolph, Archbishop of Olmutz.)

228. “God help me. Thou seest me deserted by all mankind. I do not want to do wrong,--hear my prayer to be with my Karl in the future for which there seems to be no possibility now. O, harsh Fate, cruel destiny. No, my unhappy condition will never end. ‘This I feel and recognize clearly: Life is not the greatest of blessings; but the greatest of evils is guilt.’ (From Schiller’s “Braut von Messina”). There is no salvation for you except to hasten away from here; only by this means can you lift yourself again to the heights of your art whereas you are here sinking to the commonplace,--and a symphony--and then away,--away,--meanwhile fund the salaries which can be done for years. Work during the summer preparatory to travel; only thus can you do the great work for your poor nephew; later travel through Italy, Sicily, with a few other artists.”

(Diary, spring of 1817. The salaries were the annuities paid him for several years by Archduke Rudolph, Prince Rinsky and Prince Lobkowitz. Seume’s “Spaziergang nach Syrakus” was a favorite book of Beethoven’s and inspired him in a desire to make a similar tour, but nothing came of it.)

229. “You must not be a man like other men: not for yourself, only for others; for you there is no more happiness except in yourself, in your art.--O God, give me strength to overcome myself, nothing must hold me to this life.”

(Beginning of the Diary, 1812-18.)

230. “Leave operas and all else alone, write only for your orphan, and then a cowl to close this unhappy life.”

(Diary, 1816.)

231. “I have often cursed my existence; Plutarch taught me resignation. I shall, if possible, defy Fate, though there will be hours in my life when I shall be the most miserable of God’s creatures. Resignation! What a wretched resort; yet it is the only one left me!”

(Vienna, June 29, 1800, to Wegeler.)

232. “Patience, they tell me, I must now choose for a guide. I have done so. It shall be my resolve, lastingly, I hope, to endure until it pleases the implacable Parca: to break the thread. There may be improvement,--perhaps not,--I am prepared.”

(From the Heiligenstadt Will.)

233. “Let all that is called life be offered to the sublime and become a sanctuary of art. Let me live, even through artificial means, so they can be found.”

(Diary, 1814, when Beethoven was being celebrated extraordinarily by the royalties and dignitaries gathered at the Congress of Vienna.)

234. “Ah! it seemed impossible for me to leave the world until I had produced all that I felt called upon to produce; and so I prolonged this wretched existence.”

(From the Heiligenstadt Will.)

235. “With joy shall I hasten forward to meet death; if he comes before I shall have had an opportunity to develop all my artistic capabilities, he will come too early in spite of my harsh fate, and I shall probably wish him to come at a later date. But even then I shall be content, for will he not release me from endless suffering? Come when you please, I shall meet you bravely.”

(From the Heiligenstadt Will.)

236. “Apollo and the muses will not yet permit me to be delivered over to the grim skeleton, for I owe them so much, and I must, on any departure for the Elysian Fields, leave behind me all that the spirit has inspired and commanded to be finished.”

(September 17, 1824, to Schott, music publisher in Mayence.)

237. “Had I not read somewhere that it is not pending man to part voluntarily from his life so long as there is a good deed which he can perform, I should long since have been no more, and by my own hand. O, how beautiful life is, but in my case it is poisoned.”

(May 2, 1810, to his friend Wegeler, to whom he is lamenting over “the demon that has set up his habitat in my ears.”)

238. “I must abandon wholly the fond hope, which I brought hither, to be cured at least in a degree. As the fallen autumn leaves have withered, so are now my hopes blighted. I depart in almost the same condition in which I came; even the lofty courage which often animated me in the beautiful days of summer has disappeared.”

(From the Will. Beethoven had tried the cure at Heiligenstadt.)

239. “All week long I had to suffer and endure like a saint. Away with this rabble! What a reproach to our civilization that we need what we despise and must always know it near!”

(In 1825, complaining of the misery caused by his domestics.)

240. “The best thing to do not to think of your malady is to keep occupied.”

(Diary, 1812-18.)

241. “It is no comfort for men of the better sort to say to them that others also suffer; but, alas! comparisons must always be made, though they only teach that we all suffer, that is err, only in different ways.”

(In 1816, to Countess Erdody, on the death of her son.)

242. “The portraits of Handel, Bach, Gluck, Mozart and Haydn in my room,--they may help me to make claim on toleration.”

(Diary, 1815-16.)

243. “God, who knows my innermost soul, and knows how sacredly I have fulfilled all the duties but upon me as man by humanity, God and nature will surely some day relieve me from these afflictions.”

(July 18, 1821, to Archduke Rudolph, from Unterubling.)

244. “Friendship and similar sentiments bring only wounds to me. Well, so be it; for you, poor Beethoven, there is no outward happiness; you must create it within you,--only in the world of ideality shall you find friends.”

(About 1808, to Baron von Gleichenstein, by whom he thought himself slighted.)

245. “You are living on a quiet sea, or already in the safe harbor; you do not feel the distress of a friend out in the raging storm,--or you must not feel it.”

(In 1811, to his friend Gleichenstein, when Beethoven was in love with the Baron’s sister-in-law, Therese Malfatti.)

246. “I must have a confidant at my side lest life become a burden.”

(July 4, 1812, to Count Brunswick, whom he is urging to make a tour with him, probably to Teplitz.)

247. “Your love makes me at once the happiest and the unhappiest of men. At my age I need a certain uniformity and equableness of life; can such exist in our relationship?”

(June 7, 1800 (?), to the “Immortal Beloved.”)

248. “O Providence! vouchsafe me one day of pure joy! Long has the echo of perfect felicity been absent from my heart. When O, when, O Thou Divine One, shall I feel it again in nature’s temple and man’s? Never? Ah! that would be too hard!”

(Conclusion of the Heiligenstadt Will.)

WORLDLY WISDOM

249. “Freedom,--progress, is purpose in the art-world as in universal creation, and if we moderns have not the hardihood of our ancestors, refinement of manners has surely accomplished something.”

(Middling, July 29, 1819, to Archduke Rudolph.)

250. “The boundaries are not yet fixed which shall call out to talent and industry: thus far and no further!”

(Reported by Schindler.)

251. “You know that the sensitive spirit must not be bound to miserable necessities.”

(In the summer of 1814, to Johann Kauka, the advocate who represented him in the prosecution of his claims against the heirs of Prince Kinsky.)

252. “Art, the persecuted one, always finds an asylum. Did not Daedalus, shut up in the labyrinth, invent the wings which carried him out into the open air? O, I shall find them, too, these wings!”

(February 19, 1812, to Zmeskall, when, in 1811, by decree of the Treasury, the value of the Austrian currency was depreciated one-fifth, and the annuity which Beethoven received from Archduke Rudolph and the Princes Lobkowitz and Kinsky reduced to 800 florins.)

253. “Show me the course where at the goal there stands the palm of victory! Lend sublimity to my loftiest thoughts, bring to them truths that shall live forever!”

(Diary, 1814, while working on “Fidelio.”)

254. “Every day is lost in which we do not learn something useful. Man has no nobler or more valuable possession than time; therefore never put off till tomorrow what you can do today.”

(From the notes in Archduke Rudolph’s instruction book.)

255. “This is the mark of distinction of a truly admirable man: steadfastness in times of trouble.”

(Diary, 1816.)

256. “Courage, so it be righteous, will gain all things.”

(April, 1815, to Countess Erdody.)

257. “Force, which is a unit, will always prevail against the majority which is divided.”

(Conversation-book, 1819.)

258. “Kings and Princes can create professors and councillors, and confer orders and decorations; but they can not create great men, spirits that rise above the earthly rabble; these they can not create, and therefore they are to be respected.”

(August 15, 1812, to Bettina von Arnim.)

259. “Man, help yourself!”

(Written under the words: “Fine, with the help of God,” which Moscheles had written at the end of a pianoforte arrangement of a portion of “Fidelio.”)

260. “If I could give as definite expression to my thoughts about my illness as to my thoughts in music, I would soon help myself.”

(September, 1812, to Amalie Sebald, a patient at the cure in Teplitz.)

261. “Follow the advice of others only in the rarest cases.”

(Diary, 1816.)

262. “The moral law in us, and the starry sky above us.”--Kant.

(Conversation-book, February, 1820.)

[Literally the passage in Kant’s “Critique of Practical Reason” reads as follows: “Two things fill the soul with ever new and increasing wonder and reverence the oftener the mind dwells upon them:--the starry sky above me and the moral law in me.”]

263. “Blessed is he who has overcome all passions and then proceeds energetically to perform his duties under all circumstances careless of success! Let the motive lie in the deed, not in the outcome. Be not one of those whose spring of action is the hope of reward. Do not let your life pass in inactivity. Be industrious, do your duty, banish all thoughts as to the results, be they good or evil; for such equanimity is attention to intellectual things. Seek an asylum only in Wisdom; for he who is wretched and unhappy is so only in consequence of things. The truly wise man does not concern himself with the good and evil of this world. Therefore endeavor diligently to preserve this use of your reason--for in the affairs of this world, such a use is a precious art.”

(Diary. Though essentially in the language of Beethoven there is evidence that the passage was inspired by something that he had read.)

264. “The just man must be able also to suffer injustice without deviating in the least from the right course.”

(To the Viennese magistrate in the matter of Karl’s education.)

265. “Man’s humility towards man pains me; and yet when I consider myself in connection with the universe, what am I and what is he whom we call the greatest? And yet here, again, lies the divine element in man.”

(To the “Immortal Beloved,” July 6 (1800?).)

266. “Only the praise of one who has enjoyed praise can give pleasure.”

(Conversation-book, 1825.)

267. “Nothing is more intolerable than to be compelled to accuse one’s self of one’s own errors.”

(Teplitz, September 6, 1811, to Tiedge. Beethoven regrets that through his own fault he had not made Tiedge’s acquaintance on an earlier opportunity.)

268. “What greater gift can man receive than fame, praise and immortality?”

(Diary, 1816-17. After Pliny, Epist. III.)

269. “Frequently it seems as if I should almost go mad over my undeserved fame; fortune seeks me out and I almost fear new misfortune on that account.”

(July, 1810, to his friend Zmeskall. “Every day there come new inquiries from strangers, new acquaintances new relationships.”)

270. “The world must give one recognition,--it is not always unjust. I care nothing for it because I have a higher goal.”

(August 15, 1812, to Bettina von Arnim.)

271. “I have the more turned my gaze upwards; but for our own sakes and for others we are obliged to turn our attention sometimes to lower things; this, too, is a part of human destiny.”

(February 8, 1823, to Zelter, with whom he is negotiating the sale of a copy of the Mass in D.)

272. “Why so many dishes? Man is certainly very little higher than the other animals if his chief delights are those of the table.”

(Reported by J. A. Stumpff, in the “Harmonicon” of 1824. He dined with Beethoven in Baden.)

273. “Whoever tells a lie is not pure of heart, and such a person can not cook a clean soup.”

(To Mme. Streicher, in 1817, or 1818, after having dismissed an otherwise good housekeeper because she had told a falsehood to spare his feelings.)

274. “Vice walks through paths full of present lusts and persuades many to follow it. Virtue pursues a steep path and is less seductive to mankind, especially if at another place there are persons who call them to a gently declining road.”

(Diary, 1815.)

275. “Sensual enjoyment without a union of soul is bestial and will always remain bestial.”

(Diary, 1812-18.)

276. “Men are not only together when they are with each other; even the distant and the dead live with us.”

(To Therese Malfatti, later Baroness von Drossdick, to whom in the country he sent Goethe’s “Wilhelm Meister” and Schlegel’s translation of Shakespeare.)

277. “There is no goodness except the possession of a good soul, which may be seen in all things, from which one need not seek to hide.”

(August 15, 1812, to Bettina von Arnim.)

278. “The foundation of friendship demands the greatest likeness of human souls and hearts.”

(Baden, July 24, 1804, to Ries, describing his quarrel with Breuning.)

279. “True friendship can rest only on the union of like natures.”

(Diary, 1812-18.)

280. “The people say nothing; they are merely people. As a rule they only see themselves in others, and what they see is nothing; away with them! The good and the beautiful needs no people,--it exists without outward help, and this seems to be the reason of our enduring friendship.”

(September 16, 1812, to Amalie Sebald, in Teplitz, who had playfully called him a tyrant.)

281. “Look, my dear Ries; these are the great connoisseurs who affect to be able to judge of any piece of music so correctly and keenly. Give them but the name of their favorite,--they need no more!”

(To his pupil Ries, who had, as a joke, played a mediocre march at a gathering at Count Browne’s and announced it to be a composition by Beethoven. When the march was praised beyond measure Beethoven broke out into a grim laugh.)

282. “Do not let all men see the contempt which they deserve; we do not know when we may need them.”

(Note in the Diary of 1814, after having had an unpleasant experience with his “friend” Bertolini. “Henceforth never step inside his house; shame on you to ask anything from such an one.”)

283. “Our Time stands in need of powerful minds who will scourge these petty, malicious and miserable scoundrels,--much as my heart resents doing injury to a fellow man.”

(In 1825, to his nephew, in reference to the publication of a satirical canon on the Viennese publisher, Haslinger, by Schott, of Mayence.)

284. “Today is Sunday. Shall I read something for you from the Gospels? ‘Love ye one another!’”

(To Frau Streicher.)

285. “Hate reacts on those who nourish it.”

(Diary, 1812-18.)

286. “When friends get into a quarrel it is always best not to call in an intermediary, but to have friend turn to friend direct.”

(Vienna, November 2, 1793, to Eleonore von Breuning, of Bonn.)

287. “There are reasons for the conduct of men which one is not always willing to explain, but which, nevertheless, are based on ineradicable necessity.”

(In 1815, to Brauchle.)