Part 26

_Ma._ Poor _Frank_, How gladly would I entertain thy love, And meet thy worthy flame, but shame forbids me:

If please her Ladyship[s] dwell here with _Guenith_, and learn to spinn and card ull, to mage flannells, and linseyes ulseis, fall tawgco'd urds to her Ladyships urships for her. [_The tears flow from him._

The tears of true affection, woe is me, Oh cursed love that glories in maids miseries, And true mens broken hearts.

_La._ Alas I pity him, the wench is rude, and knows you not, forgive her.

_Ma._ Wy[n]e your nyes [p]ray you, though was porn in Walls 'mong craggy rocks, and mountains, yet heart is soft, look you hur can weep too, when hur see men mage prinie tears and lamentations.

_Ha._ How hard she holds me! Just as _Maria_ did, weeps the same drops, Now as I have a living soul, her si[gh] too; What shall I think, is not your name _Maria_, If it be not, delude me with so much charity To say it is.

_Ma._ Upon her life, you was mighty deal in love with some podies, your pale seekes and hollow nyes, and pantings upon her posom, know very well, because look you, her think her honest sentilman, you sall call her _Maria_.

_Ha._ Good Madam, think not ill I am thus saucy.

_La._ Oh no Sir, be you not angry with the wench.

_Ha._ I am most pleas'd.

_1._ Lets interrupt him, he'll be mad outright else.

_2._ Observe a little more.

_Ha._ Would I could in your language beg a kiss.

_Ma._ If her have necessities of a kiss, look you, dere is one in sarities.

_Ha._ Let me suffer death, If in my apprehension two twinn'd cherries Be more a kinn, than her lips to _Maria_'s: And if this harsh illusion would but leave her, She were the same, good Madam, shall I have Your consent now?

_La._ To what?

_Ha._ To give this Virgin to me.

_La._ She's not mine, this is her kinswoman, And has more power to dispose; alas, I pity him. Pray gentlem[e]n prevail with him to goe; More that I wish his comfort than his absence.

_Ha._ You have been always kind to me, will you Deny me your fair Cosin?

_Nu._ 'Twere fit you first obtain'd her own consent.

_Ha._ [He] is no friend that wishes my departure, I doe not trouble you.

_1._ 'Tis not _Maria_.

_Ha._ Her shadow is enough, I'll dwell with that, Pursue your own ways, shall we live together?

_Ma._ If her will come to morrow and tauge to her, her will tell her more of her meanings, and then if her be melancholy, her will sing her a Welch Song too, to make her merries, but _Guenith_ was very honest; her was never love but one sentleman, and he was bear her great teal of good-ills too, was marry one day _S. Davy_, her give her five pair of white gloves, if her will dance at her weddings.

_Ha._ All I am worth, And all my hopes this strange voice would forsake her, For then she shud be--prethee stay a little, Hark in thine ear, dissemble not, but tell me, And save my life; I know you are _Maria_: Speak but as I doe, ten words to confirm me; You have an _English_ soul, do not disguise it From me with these strange accents--She pinch'd hard Again, and sigh'd.

_La._ What ails the Wench? [_Exit._

_Nur._ Why, _Guenith_.

_Ha._ She's gone too.

_2._ Come leave this dream.

_Ha._ A dream? I think so; But 'twas a pleasing one, now I'll obey, And forget all these wonders, lead the way. [_Exeunt._

_Actus Quartus. Scæna Prima._

_Enter_ Wildbrain _and_ Toby.

_Wild._ Honest _Toby_?

_To._ Sweet Mr. _Wildbrain_,--I am glad I ha met w'ye.

_Wild._ Why, did my Aunt send for me?

_Tob._ Your Aunt's a mortal, and thinks not on you For ought I can perceive.

_Wild._ Is my cosin alive agen?

_Tob._ Neither, and yet we do not hear That she's buried.

_Wild._ What should make thee glad then?

_Tob._ What should make me glad? have I not cause, To see your Princely body well, and walk thus, Look blithe and bonny, and your Wardrobe whole still?

_Wild._ The case is clear, and I ha found a Mine, A perfect _Indie_, since my Aunt cashier'd me; What think'st of this?

_Tob._ Oh delicate bells.

_Wild._ Thou puttest me in mind, We are to ring anon, I mean[t] to send for thee; Meet me at the old Parish Church.

_Tob._ Say no more.

_Wild._ When thy Lady is a bed, we ha conspir'd A midnight peal for joy.

_Tob._ If I fail, hang me i' th' bell-ropes.

_Wild._ And how? and how does my Aunt?

_Tob._ She's up to th' ears in Law; I do so whirl her to the Counsellors chambers, And back again, and bounce her for more money, And too again, I know not what they do with her; But she's the merriest thing among these Law-drivers; And in their studies half a day together; If they do get her with _Magna Charta_, she swears, By all the ability of her old body, She will so claw the Justice, she will sell The tiles of the house she vows, and Sack out o'th' Cellar, (That she worships to Idolatry) but she'll hang him.

_Wild._ I would she could: but hark thee honest _Toby_. If a man have a Mistriss, may we not, Without my Aunt's leave, borrow now and then A Coach to tumble in, towards the Exchange, And so forth?

_Tob._ A Mistriss?

_Wild._ She may be thine when we are married.

_Tob._ Command, I'll carry you both in pomp; And let my Lady go a foot a Law-catching, And exercise her corns: where is she Master _John_?

_Wild._ 'Shat see her.

_Tob._ Shall we ring for her?

_Wild._ And drink her health?

_Tob._ Drink stifly for five hours.

_Wild._ We'll drink fifteen.

_Tob._ To night? we will ha twenty Torches then, And through the streets drive on triumphantly; Triumphantly we'll drive, by my Lad[y]es door, As I am a Christian Coachman, I will rattle you And Urine in her porch, and she shall fear me: If you say more, I shall run mad outright, I will drink Sack, and surfeit instantly; I know not where I am now. [_Exit._

_Enter_ Lurcher.

_Wi._ Hold for thy buttons sake, the knave's transported.

_Lur. Jack Wildbrain?_

_Wild._ Honest _Tom_, how thrives the fellonious world with thee now?

_Lur._ You look and talk as you were much exalted.

_Wild._ Th'art i'th' right _Tom_. I'll tell thee first, I ha shook off my Aunt, and yet I live still, And drink, and sing; her house had like to ha spoil'd me; I keep no hours now; Nor need any false key To the old womans Cabinets, I ha money Upon my word, and pawn no oaths to th' Butler. No matrimonial protestations For Sack-possets to the Chambermaid, I praise my Fate, there be more ways to th' wood _Tom_.

_Lur._ Prethee release my wonder.

_Wild._ I'll increase it, wipe thine eyes, Here is a chain worth money, and some man had it, A foolis[h] Diamond, and other trifles--

_Lur._ The very same, Oh Gipsey! Infidel! All that I sweat, and ventur'd my neck for, He has got already; who would trust a strumpet:

_Wild._ This? This is nothing to what I possess At home.

_Lur._ What home?

_Wild._ A house that shall be nameless; The Mistriss of it mine too, such a piece For flesh and blood, added to that so loving--

_Lur._ Is she married?

_Wild._ I know not, nor I care not; But such a prize, so mounting, so delicious, Thou wilt run mad, I'll tell thee more hereafter.

_Lur._ Nay, prethee a word more.

_Wild._ I took no pains to find out all this Paradise, My destiny threw me upon't i'th dark, I found it Wanting a Lodging too.

_Lur._ No old acquaintance?

_Wild._ Never, never saw her; But these things happen not in every age: I cannot stay, if thou wilt meet anon At my own randevow, thou knowest the Tavern, We'll sup together, after that a company Of merry lads have made a match to ring.

_Lur._ You keep your exercise, i'th' old Church?

_Wild._ No other, There is no Musick to the Bells, we wo'd Have Bonfires if we durst, and thou wo'd come It shall cost thee nothing _Tom_, hang pilfering, And keep me company, in time I may Shew thee my wench too.

_Lur._ I cannot promise; but you will be there?

_Wild._ We'll toss the Bells, and make the Steeple Roar boy, but come to supper then.

_Lur._ My hand, and expect me: Yes, I will come or send, and to some purpose; Art come boy?

_Enter Boy with Gown, Beard, and Constables staff._

Excellent, Knave, how didst thou purchase these?

_Boy._ The staff I stole last night from a sleeping Constable; The rest I borrowed by my acquaintance with The Players boyes; you were best to lose no time, Sir.

_Lur._ So, so, help boy, 'tis very well, do I not look Like one that breaks the Kings peace with authority? You know your charge, prepare things handsomely, My diligent boy, and leave me to my office.

_Boy._ There wants nothing already; but I fly Sir. [_Exit._

_Lur._ Now Fortune prove no slut, and I'll adore thee. _Within. Ser._ Whose there? [_Knocks._

_Lur._ A friend wo'd speak with Master Justice.

_Ser._ Who are you?

_Lur._ I am the Constable.

_Ser._ My Master is not at leasure to hear business.

_Lur._ How? Not at leasure to do the King service; Take heed what you say, Sir; I know his worship, If he kn[e]w my business, would no excuse.

_Ser._ You must go to another Justice, I'll assure My Master is not well in health.

_Lur._ I know not, But if your worshipful be not at leasure To do himself a benefit, I am gone Sir, An infinite benefit, and the State shall thank him for't; Thank him, and think on him too; I am an Officer. And know my place, but I do love the Justice; I honor any authority above me: Beside, he is my neighbor, and I worship him.

_Ser._ You have no Books, nor Ballads, Mr Constable, About you?

_Lur._ What should I doe with Books? does it become A man of my place to understand such matters? Pray call your Master, if he please to follow me, I shall discover to him such a plot, Shall get him everlasting fame, I'll be hang'd for't, And he be not knighted instantly, and for reward Have some of the malefactors Lands, I'll bring him too; But I cannot d[all]y time. [_Within._

_Ju._ Who's that?

_Ser._ A Constable Sir, would speak about some business, He says will bring you Fame, and mighty profit.

_Lur._ Please your worship come down, I'll make you happy; The notabl'st piece of villany I have in hand Sir, And you shall find it out; I ha made choice To bring your worship to the first knowledge, and Thank me, as you find the good on't afterwards.

_Ju._ What is it? Treason?

_Lur._ 'Tis little better, I can tell you I have lodg'd A crew of the most rank and desperate villains: They talk of robberies and waies they did 'em; And how they left men bound i[n] their studies.

_Ju._ With Books and Ballads?

_Lur._ That Sir, that, and murders, And thousand knaveries more, they're very rich Sir, In Money, Jewels, Chains, and a hundred more Devices.

_Ju._ Happy, happy Constable, I meet ye At the back door, get ready knaves.

_Lur._ Not a man I beseech you, I have privately appointed strength about me, They cannot start, your men would breed suspition; All my desire is, you would come alone; That you might have the hope of the enterprise, That you might hear 'em first, and then proceed, Sir.

_Ju._ I come, I come.

_Lur._ 'Tis very well. [_Exit._

_Ju._ Keep all my doors fast, 'tis something late.

_Lur._ So, so, and please your worship I[le] direct you.

_Enter Boy._

_Boy._ My Master staies, I doubt his lime-twigs catch not, If they doe, all's provided; but I all This while forget my own state, fair _Maria_ Is certainly alive, I met her in Another habit, with her Nurse, 'twas she: There is some trick in't, but when this is over, I'll find it out, this project for the Usurer May have good effect; however, 'twill be sport To mortifie him a little;

_Enter_ Lurcher.

He's come without him: Have you fail'd, Sir?

_Lur._ Prosper'd? my little Ingineer; away, He is i'th' next room, be not you seen, sirrah. [_Exit._

_Boy._ The pitfall's ready, never Justice Was catcht in such a nooze: e'er he get out, He shall run through a scouring purgatory, Shall purge him to the quick, 'tis night already. [_Exit._

_Enter_ Algripe _and_ Lurcher.

_Lur._ Come softly, yet Sir, softly, are you not weary?

_Ju._ Th'ast brought me into a melancholy place, I see no creature.

_Lur._ This is, Sir, their Den Where they suppose themselves secure, I am faint, With making haste; but I must be thus troubled, And therefore never go without a Cordial; [_Seems to drink._ Without this I should dye; How it refreshes me Already! will't please your worship? I might have had The manners to ha' let you drink before me; Now am I lusty.

_Ju._ 'T[h]as a good taste.

_Lur._ Taste? how d'ye find the virtue, nay Sir, spare it not: My wife has the Receipt, does it not stir Your Worships body? when you come to examine, 'Twill make you speak like thunder.

_Ju._ Hoy he.

_Lur._ It works already.

_Ju._ Is there never a chair, I was wearier than I thought, But who shall we have to take 'em. Mr. Constable?

_Lur._ Let me alone, when I but give the watch-word We will have men enough to surprize an Army.

_Ju._ I begin to be sleepy; what, hast a chair?

_Enter another with a chair._

_Lur._ They do not dream of us, 'tis early rising; Care, care, and early rising, Common-wealths men Are ever subject to the nods; sit down, Sir, A short nap is not much amiss; so, so, he's fast; Fast as a fish i'th' net, he has winking powder Shall work upon him to our wish, remove him, Nay, we may cut him into collops now And he ne'r feel; have you prepar'd the vault, sirrah?

_Boy._ Yes, yes, Sir, every thing in's place.

_Lur._ When [we] have plac'd him, you and I boy Must about another project hard by, his potion Will bind him sure enough till we return, This villany weighs mainly, But we'll purge ye. [_Exit._

[_Bells ring._

_Enter Sexton._

_Sex._ Now for mine ears, mine ears be constant to me; They ring a wager, and I must deal justly, ha boys.

_Enter Lurcher and Boy._

_Lur._ Dost hear 'em, hark, these be the Ringers?

_Boy._ Are you sure the same?

_Lur._ Or my directions fail; The coast is clear: How the bells go! how daintily they tumble! And methinks they seem to say; Fine fools I'll fit you.

_Sex._ Excellent agen, good boys--oh that was nought.

_Lur._ Who's that?

_Boy._ Be you conceal'd by any means yet, hark, They stop, I hope they'll to't agen, close Sir.

_Enter_ Wildbrain, Toby, _Ringers_.

_Wild._ A palpable knock.

_Ring._ 'Twas none.

_To._ Be judg'd by the Sexton then, If I have ears.

_Sex._ A knock, a knock, a gross one.

_To._ Carman, your gallon of wine, you ring most impiously, Art thou o'th' worshipful company of the Knights o'th West, And handle a bell with no more dexterity? You think you are in _Thames-street_ Justling the Carts: oh a clean hand's a Jewel.

_Boy._ Good speed to your good exercise.

_To._ Y' are welcome.

_Boy._ I come, Sir, from a Gentleman, and neighbor hard by, One that loves your Musick well.

_To._ He may have more on't, Handle a bell, as you were haling timber; Gross, gross, and base, absurd.

_Ring._ I'll mend it next peal.

_Boy._ To intreat a knowledge of you, whether it be By the Ear you ring thus cunningly, or by the Eye; For to be plain, he has laid ten pounds upon't.

_Wild._ But which way has he laid?

_Boy._ That your Ear guides you, And not your Eye.

_To._ Has won, has won, the Ear's our only instrument:

_Boy._ But how shall we be sure on't.

_To._ Put all the lights out, to what end serve our eyes then?

_Wild._ A plain Case.

_Boy._ You say true, 'tis a fine cunning thing to ring by th' Ear sure: And can you ring i' th' dark so?

_Wild._ All night long, boy.

_Boy._ 'Tis wonderful, let this be certain Gentlemen, And half his wager he allows among ye; Is't possible you should ring so?

_To._ Possible, thou art a child, I'll ring when I am dead drunk Out with the lights, no twinkling of a candle, I know my rope too, as I know my nose, And can bang it soundly i'th' dark, I warrant you.

_Wi._ Come, let's confirm him straight, and win the wager. [_Ex._

_Boy._ Let me hear to strengthen me; And when y'ave rung, I'll bring the money to you.

_Lur._ So, so, follow 'em; They shall have a cool reward, one hath gold of mine, Good store in's pocket, [_Ring._ But this will be reveng'd in a short warning. They are at it lustily; hey, how wantonly They ring away their cloaths, how it delights me.

_Boy._ Here, here, Sir.

_Enter Boy with cloaths._

_Lur._ Hast _Wildbrain's_?

_Boy._ His whole case, Sir; I felt it out, and by the guards This should be the Coachmans, another suit too.

_Lur._ Away boy, quickly now to the Usurer, His hour to wake approaches.

_Boy._ That once finished, You'll give me leave to play, Sir: here they come. [_Ex._

_Enter_ Wildbrain, Toby, _and Ringers_.

_Wild._ I am monstrous weary.

_To._ Fie, how I sweat! Reach me my cloak to cover me, I run to oyl like a Porpise; 'twas a brave peal.

_Sex._ Let me light [my] candle first, then I'll wait on you.

_Wild._ A very brave peal.

_To._ Carman, you came in close now.

_Wild._ Sure 'tis past midnight.

_Ring._ No stirring in the streets I hear.

_To._ Walk further, was that a pillar? 'tis harder than my nose, Where's the boy promis'd us five pounds?

_Wild._ Room, I sweat still; come, come, my cloak, I shall take cold.

_Enter Sexton._

_Sex._ Where lies it?

_Wild._ Here, here, and all our cloaths.

_Sex._ Where, where?

_Ring._ I'th' corner.

_To._ Is thy candle blind too, give me the bottle, I can drink like a Fish now, like an Elephant.

_Sex._ Here are the corners, but here are no cloaths; Yes, here is a cuff.

_Wild._ A cuff? give me the candle, Cuffes wonot cover me--I smell the knavery.

_Tob._ Is't come to a cuff? my whole suit turned to a button?

_Wild._ Now am I as cold again as though 'twere Christmas; Cold with my fear, I'll never ring by the ear more.

_To._ My new cloaths vanish'd?

_Wild._ All my cloaths _Toby_.

_Ring._ Here's none.

_Tob._ Not one of my dragons wings left to adorn me, Have I muted all my feathers?

_Wild._ Cheated by the ear; a plot to put out the candle; I could be mad; my chain, my rings, the gold, the gold.

_Tob._ The cold, the cold I cry, and I cry truly, Not one sleeve, nor a cape of a cloak to warm me.

_Wild._ What miserable fools were we!

_Tob._ We had e'en best, gentlemen, Every man chuse his rope again, and fasten it, And take a short turn to a better fortune, To be bawds to our miseries, and put our own lights out!

_Wild._ Prethee Sexton lets have a fire at thy house. A good fire, we'll pay thee some way for't, I am stone cold.

_Sex._ Alas I pity you, come quickly Gentlemen.

_Wild._ Sure I ha been in a dream, I had no Mistriss, Nor gold, nor cloaths, but am a ringing rascal.

_Tob._ Fellows in affliction, let's take hands all, Now are we fit for tumblers.

_Enter_ Lurcher _and others_, bringing in Algripe.

_Lur._ So, so, presently his sleep will leave him. And wonder seize upon him, Bid 'em within be ready.

_Ju._ What sound's this? What horrid dinne? what dismal place is this? I never saw before, and now behold it; But by the half light of a Lamp, that burns here: My spirits shake, tremble through my body; Help, help,

_Enter two Furies, with black Tapers._

Mercy protect me, my soul quakes, What dreadful apparitions! how I shudder!

_1. 2. Fu. Algripe._

_Ju._ What are you?

_1._ We are hellhounds, hellhounds, that have commission From the Prince of darkness, To fetch thy black soul to him.

_Ju._ Am I not alive still?

_1._ Thou art, but we have brought thee instruments Will quickly rid thy miserable life, Stabb.

_2._ Poyson.

_1._ Hang thy self, this choice is offer'd.

_2._ Thou canst not hope for heaven; thy base soul is Lost to all hope of mercy.

[_1._] Quickly, quickly, The torments cool.

[_2._] And all [the Fiends] expect thee. Come with us to that pit of endless horror, Or we will force thee.

_Ju._ Oh, oh, oh.

_1._ Groans are too late, sooner the ravisher, Whose soul is hurl'd into eternal frost, Stung with the force of twenty thousand winters, To punish the distempers of his blood, Shall hope to get from thence, than thou avoid The certainty of meeting hell where he is. Shall murderers be there for ever dying, Their souls shot through with Adders, torn on Engines, Dying as many deaths for killing one, Could any imagination number them, As there be moments in eternity: And shall that Justice spare thee, that hast slain, Murdered by thy extortion so many?

_Ju._ Oh, oh.

_2._ Do execution quickly, or we'll carry thee alive to hell.

_Ju._ Gently, gentle devils, do not force me To kill my self, nor do not you do't for me; Oh let me live, I'll make amends for all.

_1._ Tell us of thy repentance? perjur'd villain, Pinch off his flesh, he must be whipt, salted and whipt.

_Ju._ Oh misery of miseries!

_Recorders 1. 2._ Tear his accursed limbs, to hell with him, ha! A mischief on that innocent face, away. [_Creeps in._

_Enter Boy like an Angel._

_Boy._ Malicious furies hence, choak not the seeds Of holy penitence.

_Ju._ This must be an Angel, How at his presence the fiends crawl away! Here is some light of mercy.

_Boy._ Be thou wise, And entertain it, wretched, wretched man; What poor defence hath all thy wealth been to thee? What says thy conscience now?

_Ju._ Be my good Angel, here I promise thee, To become honest, and renounce all villany; Enjoyn me any pennance, I'll build Churches; A whole City of Hospitals.

_Boy._ Take heed, There is no dallying, nor are these impos'd.

_Ju._ Name any thing within my power, sweet Angel; And if I do not faithfully perform it, Then whip me every day, burn me each minute, Whole years together let me freeze to Isicles.

_Boy._ I'th' number of thy foul oppressions; Thou hast undone a faithful Gentleman, By taking forfeit of his Land.

_Ju._ Young _Lurcher_, I do confess.

_Boy._ He lives most miserable, And in despair may hang or drown himself; Prevent his ruine, or his blood will be More sin in thy account: hast thou forgotten He had a sister?

_Ju._ I do well remember it.

_Boy._ Couldst thou for Mammon break thy solemn vow, Made once to that unhappy maid, that weeps A thousand tears a day for thy unkindness, Was not thy faith contracted, and thy heart? And couldst thou marry another?

_Ju._ But she is dead, And I will make true satisfaction.

_Boy._ What do I instance these that hast been false To all the world.

_Ju._ I know it, and will henceforth Practice repentance, do not frown sweet Angel; I will restore all Mortgages, forswear Abominable Usury, live chaste; For I have been wanton in my shroud, my age; And if that poor innocent maid, I so abus'd, Be living, I will marry her, and spend My days to come religiously.