SCENE II.--_Another part of the Fair.

_Enter OVERDO, disguised like a Porter._

OVER. This latter disguise, I have borrow'd of a porter, shall carry me out to all my great and good ends; which however interrupted, were never destroyed in me: neither is the hour of my severity yet come to reveal myself, wherein, cloud-like, I will break out in rain and hail, lightning and thunder, upon the head of enormity. Two main works I have to prosecute: first, one is to invent some satisfaction for the poor kind wretch, who is out of his wits for my sake, and yonder I see him coming, I will walk aside, and project for it.

_Enter WINWIFE and GRACE._

WINW. I wonder where Tom Quarlous is, that he returns not: it may be he is struck in here to seek us.

GRACE. See, here's our madman again.

_Enter QUARLOUS, in TROUBLEALL'S clothes, followed by DAME PURECRAFT._

QUAR. I have made myself as like him, as his gown and cap will give me leave.

PURE. Sir, I love you, and would be glad to be mad with you in truth.

WINW. How! my widow in love with a madman?

PURE. Verily, I can be as mad in spirit as you.

QUAR. By whose warrant? leave your canting. Gentlewoman, have I found you? [_To mistress Grace._] save ye, quit ye, and multiply ye! Where's your book? 'twas a sufficient name I mark'd, let me see't, be not afraid to shew't me.

GRACE. What would you with it, sir?

QUAR. Mark it again and again at your service.

GRACE. Here it is, sir, this was it you mark'd.

QUAR. _Palemon!_ fare you well, fare you well.

WINW. How, Palemon!

GRACE. Yes, faith, he has discovered it to you now, and therefore 'twere vain to disguise it longer; I am yours, sir, by the benefit of your fortune.

WINW. And you have him, mistress, believe it, that shall never give you cause to repent her benefit: but make you rather to think that in this choice she had both her eyes.

GRACE. I desire to put it to no danger of protestation.

[_Exeunt Grace and Winwife._

QUAR. Palemon the word, and Winwife the man!

PURE. Good sir, vouchsafe a yoke-fellow in your madness, shun not one of the sanctified sisters, that would draw with you in truth.

QUAR. Away, you are a herd of hypocritical proud ignorants, rather wild than mad; fitter for woods, and the society of beasts, than houses, and the congregation of men. You are the second part of the society of canters, outlaws to order and discipline, and the only privileged church-robbers of Christendom. Let me alone: _Palemon_ the word, and Winwife the man!

PURE. I must uncover myself unto him, or I shall never enjoy him, for all the cunning men's promises. [_Aside._] Good sir, hear me, I am worth six thousand pound, my love to you is become my rack; I'll tell you all and the truth, since you hate the hypocrisy of the party-coloured brotherhood. These seven years I have been a wilful holy widow, only to draw feasts and gifts from my entangled suitors: I am also by office an assisting sister of the deacons, and a devourer, instead of a distributor of the alms. I am a special maker of marriages for our decayed brethren with our rich widows, for a third part of their wealth, when they are married, for the relief of the poor elect: as also our poor handsome young virgins, with our wealthy bachelors or widowers; to make them steal from their husbands, when I have confirmed them in the faith, and got all put into their custodies. And if I have not my bargain, they may sooner turn a scolding drab into a silent minister, than make me leave pronouncing reprobation and damnation unto them. Our elder, Zeal-of-the-land, would have had me, but I know him to be the capital knave of the land, making himself rich, by being made a feoffee in trust to deceased brethren, and cozening their heirs, by swearing the absolute gift of their inheritance. And thus having eased my conscience, and utter'd my heart with the tongue of my love; enjoy all my deceits together, I beseech you. I should not have revealed this to you, but that in time I think you are mad, and I hope you'll think me so too, sir?

QUAR. Stand aside, I'll answer you presently. [_He walks by._] Why should I not marry this six thousand pound, now I think on't, and a good trade too that she has beside, ha? The t'other wench Winwife is sure of; there's no expectation for me there. Here I may make myself some saver yet, if she continue mad, there's the question. It is money that I want, why should not I marry the money when 'tis offer'd me? I have a license and all, it is but razing out one name, and putting in another. There's no playing with a man's fortune! I am resolved: I were truly mad an I would not!--Well, come your ways, follow me, an you will be mad, I'll shew you a warrant!

[_Takes her along with him._

PURE. Most zealously, it is that I zealously desire.

OVER. [_stopping him._] Sir, let me speak with you.

QUAR. By whose warrant?

OVER. The warrant that you tender, and respect so; Justice Overdo's. I am the man, friend Troubleall, though thus disguised (as the careful magistrate ought) for the good of the republic in the Fair, and the weeding out of enormity. Do you want a house, or meat, or drink, or clothes? speak whatsoever it is, it shall be supplied you; what want you?

QUAR. Nothing but your warrant.

OVER. My warrant! for what?

QUAR. To be gone, sir.

OVER. Nay, I pray thee stay; I am serious, and have not many words, nor much time to exchange with thee. Think what may do thee good.

QUAR. Your hand and seal will do me a great deal of good; nothing else in the whole Fair that I know.

OVER. If it were to any end, thou shouldst have it willingly.

QUAR. Why, it will satisfy me, that's end enough to look on; an you will not give it me, let me go.

OVER. Alas! thou shalt have it presently; I'll but step into the scrivener's here by, and bring it. Do not go away.

[_Exit._

QUAR. Why, this madman's shape will prove a very fortunate one, I think. Can a ragged robe produce these effects? if this be the wise justice, and he bring me his hand, I shall go near to make some use on't.

_Re-enter OVERDO._

He is come already!

OVER. Look thee! here is my hand and seal, Adam Overdo; if there be any thing to be written above in that paper that thou want'st now, or at any time hereafter, think on't, it is my deed. I deliver it so; can your friend write?

QUAR. Her hand for a witness, and all is well.

OVER. With all my heart.

[_He urges her to sign it._

QUAR. Why should not I have the conscience to make this a bond of a thousand pound now, or what I would else? [_Aside._

OVER. Look you, there it is, and I deliver it as my deed again.

QUAR. Let us now proceed in madness.

[_Exeunt Quarlous and Dame Purecraft._

OVER. Well, my conscience is much eased; I have done my part, though it doth him no good; yet Adam hath offered satisfaction. The sting is removed from hence! Poor man, he is much altered with his affliction, it has brought him low. Now for my other work, reducing the young man, I have followed so long in love, from the brink of his bane to the centre of safety. Here, or in some such-like vain place, I shall be sure to find him. I will wait the good time.

[_Exit._