Chapter 3

I can remember a time when priests in long, linen tunics, bending low, spoke to us and humbly tried to comprehend our chanted utterance. Know, dog, that it is not _we_ who have changed! It may be, there are days when I'm more myself, when everything offends me, and justly; a brusque gesture, a vulgar laugh, the banging of a door, your odor, your inconceivable impudence when you touch me, or encircle me, jumping and yelping ...

TOBY-DOG, (_patiently, to himself_)

He's having one of his attacks.

KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_with a start_)

Did you hear?

TOBY-DOG

Yes, the kitchen door, and the door into the dining-room ... and now the drawer where the spoons are kept. At last! At last! aaah! (_He yawns_.) I can't stand this any longer. _Where_ is She? I don't hear the gravel creaking ... night's coming on!

KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_ironically_)

Go find her.

TOBY-DOG

And how about Him? He usually worries, and comes in asking, "Where is She?" But He's scratching still. He must have drunk up all the violet-colored water in the muddy little pot by this time. (TOBY _carefully stretches his legs_.) Ah! I feel lively ... and empty. We're going to eat soon! Just smell the good kitchen-smells that come under the door!... Let's play!

KIKI-THE-DEMURE

No.

TOBY-DOG

Run, I'll chase, without touching you.

KIKI-THE-DEMURE

No.

TOBY-DOG

Why not?

KIKI-THE-DEMURE

I don't want to.

TOBY-DOG

Oh! but you're tiresome! Watch me jump and arch my neck like a little horse and try to catch my stubby tail. Now I turn 'round and 'round--and--heavens! the whole room spins!--It's--st--opping--now.

KIKI-THE-DEMURE

Insufferable creature!

TOBY-DOG

Insufferable yourself! Look out, I'm going to run at you as She does, when She's merry, crying "Ha, cat!"

(KIKI-THE-DEMURE, _without rising, puts up a paw bristling with claws and spotted underneath with rose color and black; it looks like a thorny flower_.)

If you dare!...

TOBY-DOG, (_in a frenzy_) I do dare! Bow-wow-wow! Ha, cat! ha, cat!

(KIKI-THE-DEMURE, _exasperated, gives a spring and hangs on the table-cloth, slowly dragging it down. A lamp and various things fall to the ground. Terrified silence. The two animals, crouching under an arm-chair, await punishment_.)

HE _appears at the study door, holding a pen, like a bit, between his teeth_.

Thunder and blitzen! What is it now? This cursed menagerie has overturned everything! Where's your Mistress? What a place this is to be sure! Dinner never on time!... (etc., etc., etc....)

(_The two guilty ones, who well know the harmlessness of such outbursts, laugh quietly to themselves and lying flat as bed-room slippers, look at one another through the fringes of the chair. The garden gate opens_.

SHE _comes in carrying a basket, full of fragrant plums; her hands are sticky from their sugariness, her hair tumbled_. SHE _stands horrified, before the disaster_.)

SHE

Oh! They've been fighting again, have they? (_Without conviction_.) Dear _me,_ what nasty creatures! I'll give them away! I'll sell them!!--I'll _kill_ them!!! (_But the cat and dog, groveling in exaggerated humility, crawl up to her, and speak together_.)

KIKI-THE-DEMURE

Purr-rr-rr!...There you are!...It's very late ...Toby attacked me; it's he who's broken everything. I believe he went mad from hunger.... You smell good, of grass and the twilight. You sat down on some wild thyme. Come!...Tell your Master to carry me on his shoulder--the meat will be overdone, I'm afraid. You'll carve the chicken very quickly, won't you, and you'll keep the browned skin for me? If you wish I'll stretch out my paw like a spoon, which knows how to take up the littlest morsels, and carry them to my mouth with that human gesture that makes you laugh so--you and He.... Come!

TOBY-DOG Hiii ... hiii ... there you are at last! I'm so unhappy when you're away. You banished me ... you didn't love me ... The lamp fell down all by itself ... Come! I'm awfully hungry, but I'll gladly go without dinner, if you'll promise to take me with you always wherever you go ... yes, even out in the twilight, though it makes me sad, I'll willingly follow you there ... my nose close, close to the hem of your dress....

SHE, (_disarmed and quite indifferent to the cataclysm_)

Do look how pretty they are!

SHE IS ILL

_A bed-room in the country-house; autumnal sunshine filters in through closed blinds_. SHE _lies on a couch, apparently asleep, dressed in a white woolen gown_. KIKI-THE-DEMURE _makes his toilet on a narrow console-table_. TOBY-DOG, _on the carpet, in a sphinx-like attitude, watches_ HER _and at the same time, is attentive to the words of his master, who is leaving the room on tip-toe._

HE, (_in a very low voice to the two animals_)

Sh! Don't wake her. Be good. I'm going downstairs, to write.

(_He closes the door noiselessly after him_.) TOBY-DOG, (_to_ KIKI-THE-DEMURE)

What did He say?

KIKI-THE-DEMURE

I don't know. Something vague. Directions, like: stay there, good-by.

TOBY-DOG

He said, "'Sh!" _I'm_ not making any noise.

KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_ironically_)

They're astonishing! They say "no noise," and thereupon walk off with a step a deaf rat could hear two miles away.

TOBY-DOG Some truth in that. (_He looks at the sleeping figure on the couch_.) Her face still looks very small. She's asleep. If you jump down from that table don't land with a big thump.

KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_stiffly_)

Ah, you're teaching me to jump now, are you? Oh, worthy counselor! (_quoting_) Put a beggar in your barn and he'll make himself your heir.

TOBY-DOG

What's that?

KIKI-THE-DEMURE

Nothing. An Oriental proverb. If I wished, dog, to disturb the silence of this room I'd be clever enough to choose a rickety chair; its feet would pound out a regular tic-toc, tic-toc, tic-toc, in time with my tongue as I washed myself. It's a means I've invented to gain my liberty. Tic-toc, tic-toc, says the chair. She happens to be reading or writing, is easily irritated, and cries, "Be quiet, Kiki!" But I go on unconscious of any wrong-doing; tic-toc, tic-toc. She jumps up distracted and opens the door wide for me: slowly, like one exiled, I cross its threshold and once outside, laugh to find myself so superior to them all.

TOBY-DOG, (_who hasn't been listening, yawns_)

What a sad week, eh? I don't know what it is to take a walk any more. I haven't taken any pleasure in eating either, since She fell from her horse.

KIKI-THE-DEMURE

Heavens, one can love people and care for one's stomach too.

TOBY-DOG, (_with ardor_)

Not I! When She screamed and fell from her horse, I felt the heart crack inside me.

KIKI-THE-DEMURE

That affair couldn't have ended otherwise. One doesn't go climbing up on a horse! People don't do such things! I see nothing but extravagance around me. To begin with, a horse is a fearful monstrosity.

TOBY-DOG, (_indignantly_)

Did one ever hear the like!

KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_peremptorily_)

I happen to have had the opportunity of making a very close study of one....

TOBY-DOG, (_aside_)

He makes me laugh!

KIKI-THE-DEMURE

... It was the farmer's horse that grazed in the meadow. My life, for a whole month, was embittered by that roving mountain. Lying under the hedge, I could see his heavy feet disfiguring the ground. I breathed his vulgar odor and heard his strident cry shaking the air. Once when he was eating the lower twigs of the hedge, I saw myself--the whole of me--reflected in one of his eyes! I fled ... and from that day my hatred was so strong that I wildly hoped to annihilate the monster. I'll go up to him, thought I, I'll plant myself firmly in front of him, and the desire of his death will be so strong in my eyes, that perhaps, he'll die when he meets my look ...

TOBY-DOG, (_diverted_)

And then?

KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_continuing_)

I carried out my plan. But the horse I had waited for in fear and trembling, just blew through his nostrils a long jet of foul-smelling vapor, and _I_ fell back in atrocious convulsions.

TOBY-DOG, (_Inwardly writhing with laughter_)

You don't exaggerate?

KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_serious_)

Never! And She must needs go climbing on a horse's back, holding fast to four cords, one leg this side and the other that. ... Strange aberration!

TOBY-DOG

We don't think alike, Cat. For me, the horse is, after man, the most beautiful thing in the world.

KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_vexed_) And where do I come in?

TOBY-DOG, (_evasive and courteous_)

Oh, you're a _Cat_. But a horse, and with Her on his back! What a beautiful picture they make, high up in the blue air! To gaze on it, I have to throw my head 'way back on my thick neck. The horse lends her his speed. Now at last, She can race with me when I go off on a mad run. Sometimes I'm ahead, ears floating back and tongue hanging out like a little flag--the angular shadow of the horse on the road in front. If I follow her, a fragrant dust blows back at me. It smells of warm leather, moist beast, and a little of her own perfume too. The road runs under me, like a ribbon that someone is pulling. Oh, what joy it is to be so little and so swift, running along in the shadow of a great galloping horse! When we halt, I pant like a motor, between the legs of my friend, who snorts and in the kindliest way puts down his fettered mouth and sprinkles me ...

KIKI-THE-DEMURE

I know, I know! The horse "with long mane ashake; hoofs, heavy with tumult; eyes, glimmering white." ...You are the last of the Romanticists.

TOBY-DOG

I'm not the last of the Romanticists. I'm a little bull-dog that came into the world one evening, almost under the feet of a chestnut mare. She didn't lie down all night long, she was so afraid of crushing my mother and her puppies. A little bull-dog like me is almost the child of a horse. I lay in the warm straw against her warm flanks, I drank out of the stable pails. I used to get up when I heard the sound of hoofs coming in and I took an interest in the washing of the carriages, until the day She came and picked me out--_me_, the best-looking, the most snub-nosed, the stockiest of the litter. (_Sighing_.) And there She lies, so dreadfully quiet! It makes me sad to see her with that little cloth still 'round her ankle. You remember when He picked her up in his arms? He held her--and She's a lot bigger than I am--just as if She were a little dog that he was going to drown....

KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_bitterly_)

I remember. I was at the top of the stairs irritated by the noise, but curious. He came up and pushed me aside with his foot, as he would have done if a piece of furniture had happened to be in his way.

TOBY-DOG

Is that why you stayed away from this room--her room--for three whole days?

KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_hesitating_)

Yes ... and for another reason too.

TOBY-DOG

What reason?

KIKI-THE-DEMURE

Because of the fever.

TOBY-DOG, (_carried away by his love_)

Her fever smells better than other peoples' good health! KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_shrugging his shoulders_)

And they talk of a dog's scent! Truly the convictions of Two-Paws are based upon childish fables. You know of course that fever--

TOBY-DOG, (_in a low tone_)

Makes one afraid, yes.

KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_in a low tone_)

Makes one afraid, gives one cold shivers down one's back, distaste for everything and uneasiness all over. One hesitates on the threshold of a room where there is fever, searching fearfully some hidden thing.... She was in bed and burning hot. I looked at her a long time, ready to run, saying to myself: "Who can be with her there--behind the curtains--who is it stifles and torments her and makes her moan in her sleep?" TOBY-DOG, (_frightened retrospectively_)

There wasn't anyone, was there?

KIKI-THE-DEMURE

No one but He--and the fever. He, the most intelligent of Two-Paws, was leaning over her listening to her breathing, dimly aware of an invisible presence. I overcame my aversion and looked at her. I was melancholy and jealous. He must love her, thought I, to go so near and defend her, to kiss her, imbued as She is with the evil charm. Would He hold me to his heart, if I--

TOBY-DOG, (_imperatively_)

'Sh!

KIKI-THE-DEMURE

What?

TOBY-DOG

She stirred.

KIKI-THE-DEMURE

No.

TOBY-DOG, (_alert, looking at her_)

No ... She didn't stir, but her thoughts did. I felt them. Continue.

KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_who has recovered his equanimity_)

I don't know now what we were talking about.

TOBY-DOG

The fev--

KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_quickly_)

Enough. Don't recall it. Fever is the beginning of the thing one never speaks of.

TOBY-DOG, (_shivering_)

Yes, I know.... I don't like an animal that can't move. You know what I mean ...

KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_laughing cruelly_)

Nor do I. I can only eat live birds, and as for the tiny mice, I prefer to swallow them, squeak and all....

TOBY-DOG

Why does it amuse you to horrify me? You've a certain vanity that I can't understand. It consists in exaggerating cruelties that are already real enough. You call me the last of the Romanticists, aren't you the first of the Sadics?

KIKI-THE-DEMURE

Oh dog, poisoned with literature! An eternal misunderstanding separates us. "I'm a little bull-dog," you replied just now, with that stupid sincerity which disarms me. Let me say to you in my turn, "I am a Cat." The name is sufficient dispensation. There is in me a hatred of pain and ugliness, an overmastering detestation of all that offends my sight, or my reason. When the concierge's cat dragged around his wounded paw, I threw myself upon him, fired by a righteous anger, and until he stopped his whining I--

TOBY-DOG, (_supplicatingly_)

Don't tell me!

KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_getting angry_) Understand then, once and for all--if the pale recital of what I did upsets you--that I wished to abolish, to annihilate in that bleeding animal the suggestion of my own inevitable death ...

(_They are quiet for a little while_.)

KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_shuddering_)

This confinement does us no good. I would gladly go out into the soft sunshine and do "the bayadeer's dance," as He calls it, on the dry gravel among the leaves, which look like fried potatoes. Everything is yellow out-of-doors. My green eyes would reflect the golden sun and the flaming woods and so turn yellow too.... Now I'll think only of what is joyous and yellow, the beautiful, cold Autumn, the rosy dawn that leaves its colors in the foliage of the cherry-tree ... Come, let's prove the strength of our legs and enjoy to the full the consciousness that youth has only just begun for us ... Who knows, death may never come ...

(_He jumps down from the console-table, without making the least noise_.)

TOBY-DOG, (_stopping him_)

What are you going to do?

KIKI-THE-DEMURE

Scratch at the door, and strike up the "Hymn of the Sequestered Cat."

TOBY-DOG, (_indicating the figure on the couch_)

And doubtless waken Her?

KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_stubbornly_)

I'll sing in a very small voice.

TOBY-DOG

And you'll scratch with your tiniest claws, I suppose? Stay here quietly, He commanded it when He went away.

KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_loftily_)

Does He command me? He beseeches me, and that's my only reason for obeying him.

(_He sits down again, apparently resigned, and yawns slowly_.)

TOBY-DOG, (_yawning_)

You make me yawn.

KIKI-THE-DEMURE

On the contrary, it's you who bore me. (_Temptingly_.) You're thinking what a good thing freedom is, aren't you?... A hen has probably escaped from the chicken yard--what sport you're missing!

TOBY-DOG

You really think so?

KIKI-THE-DEMURE

I said: probably.... Have you finished exploring that rabbit's hole?

TOBY-DOG, (_disturbed_)

No ... it's so very deep! I almost buried myself, hollowing it out yesterday. The earth that stuck to my muzzle had some of the animal's fur in it....

KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_more and more satanic_)

I suppose you'll finish that to-morrow ... or some other day. TOBY-DOG, (_sadly_)

Why not say next year, while you're about it?

KIKI-THE-DEMURE

What's the matter with you? Your shiny black lip hangs down an ell, and your froggy eyes glitter with tears. Are you crying?

TOBY-DOG, (_sniffling_)

No ...

KIKI-THE-DEMURE

Poor, sensitive heart, console yourself. You'll have your pleasures and your friends again. At this very moment the farmer's dog is crunching bones in the kitchen ... to beguile the long wait for you.

TOBY-DOG, (_overcome_)

Oh! oh! the farmer's dog!

KIKI-THE-DEMURE

She's not alone either; that great dane, the watch-dog, keeps her company.

TOBY-DOG, (_rebellious_)

That's not true!

KIKI-THE-DEMURE

Go see.

TOBY-DOG, (_after one bound toward the door_) No, that would make noise.

KIKI-THE-DEMURE

You're right, it would.

(_A mournful silence follows_. TOBY _curls himself up like a turban and closes his eyes, because he feels like crying. His breath comes in little sobs_.)

KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_absently, in a low, monotonous chant_.)

The dog ... the little dog ... the bones, the little dog ... the rabbit ... the great dane, the rabbit's hole ...the little dog, the mutton bones ...the rabbit's skin ...

TOBY-DOG, _at first endures the torture heroically; then his nerves betray him and lifting his head he howls--the long plaint of the abandoned dog_.

Wooo--oo--oooooo!

KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_from the top of the console-table_)

Will you be quiet!

TOBY-DOG

Wooooooooo!!--oo--oooo--oo!

KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_aside_)

That's it! That's it!

(SHE _wakes bewildered, still captive of her dreams, while the Cat listens patiently to the approaching step on the stairs, which means liberty for him and punishment for_ TOBY-DOG.)

THE FIRST FIRE

_Because it is raining and an October wind chases wet leaves through the air, She has lit the first fire of the season in the great chimney-place_. KIKI-THE-DEMURE _and_ TOBY-DOG, _in ecstasy, side by side on a corner of the warm hearth-stone, contemplate the flame with dazzled eyes and address their meditations to it_.

KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (_looking very like a cushion; no paws visible_)

Oh Fire, how splendid you are! You have come back more beautiful than my memory of you! You are hotter and nearer than the sun! The pupils of my eyes contract in your light, their lids half close, modestly hiding the joy I feel at seeing you again, and my inscrutable countenance shows but the semblance of a thought painted there in fawn color and black.... Your crackling drowns the soft sound of my purr. Don't snap too much. Be merciful, O inconstant Fire! Don't sputter sparks on my fur. Allow me to adore you without fear ...

TOBY-DOG, (_half baked; eyes blood-shot; tongue pendant_)

Fire! Divine Fire! Here you are again! I am still very young, but I remember how awe-struck I was the first time Her hand woke you in this same chimney-place. The sight of a god as mysterious as you are was most impressive to a baby-dog just out of the maternal stable. Oh Fire, I've not quite gotten over my fear! Hiii!... You spit at me, something red that smarts ... I'm afraid ... Well, it's gone now. How beautiful you are, Fire! Out from your ruddy center shoot tatters and shreds of gold, sudden spurts of blue, and smoke that twists upwards and draws queer shapes of beasts ... Oh, but I'm hot! Gently, gently, sovereign Fire, see how my truffle of a nose is drying up and cracking, and my ears--are they not ablaze? I adjure thee with suppliant paw. I groan ... ah ... I can endure it no longer!... (_He turns away_.) Nothing is ever perfect. The east wind coming under the door nips my hind-legs. Well, it can't be helped! I'll freeze behind if I must, provided I can adore you face to face.

KIKI-THE-DEMURE

I am a Cat and therefore aware of all that you bring in your train, O Fire! I foresee winter; its coming both troubles and pleases me. I've already begun to thicken and embellish my fur-coat in its honor, the darker stripes are becoming black, my white tippet swells into a dazzling boa, and the fur on my belly surpasses in beauty anything that has ever been seen. What shall I say of my tail, broad as a club, with alternate rings of fawn-color and black, or of the sensitive, priceless aigrettes which spring from my ears? My ear-rings She calls them.... What cat could resist me! Ah! the January nights, the serenades under a frosty moon, the dignified wait on the pinnacle of a roof, the encounter with a rival cat on the narrow top of a wall!... But I feel quite sure of my superior strength. I'll swish my tail, put back my ears, sniff tragically as one does before vomiting, and then lift up my voice--its modulations are infinite. I'll make it strong enough to waken all the sleeping Two-Paws. I'll vociferate, I'll whimper, pacing up and down the garden, my body distended, my legs bent outward, feigning madness to terrify the tom-cats!

TOBY-DOG

I know something of the changes and pleasures you foretell, Fire--for I'm a Dog. Already, it is raining in the garden. I suppose it's raining on the road too, and in the woods. The falling drops are not warm, as they were in the summer storms when my truffle, gray with dust, delighted in the damp smell that came from the west. The sky is troubled and the wind has grown strong enough to blow my ears out straight, like little flags. A sharp cry, such as I make when I beg, comes under the door. You'll be shining here every day, Fire; but I'll have to suffer for the right to worship you. For She'll continue to wander about, her head covered with the pointed hood which changes her so, that it frightens me. She'll put on wooden shoes too, and carelessly crush the puddles, the little heaps of mud, and the weeping mosses. I'll follow her, since I've promised to do so my life long (and also because I can't help it), I'll follow her, a forlorn and piteous object, shining wet, my belly covered with mud, until, through very excess of misery I'll forget, and ramble in the coppice, interested in every undulation of the grass, eager to revive the drowned scents in it.... She'll become communicative when she sees me hurrying along and we'll talk: "Ha, Toby-Dog," she'll say, "ha! ha! a bird! There on the branch! Look! you booby! Now he's gone." She'll condole with me then, until I'm on the verge of tears. "Oh, my little black boy, my sympathetic cylinder, my batrachian love, how cold you are, how wet, how sad, how you suffer, oooo!" And before I'm able to judge of the sincerity of her pity, the tears will overflow, my throat contract, and we'll wail in unison....

Ah, but what delirious joy when the capricious wooden shoes turn again toward the house, hurrying to rejoin Him whom we've left scratching paper! They don't go half fast enough for me then! I jump 'round her, barking with delight to see the hill diminishing, our climb at an end, to smell the good stable smell and that of burning wood as we near the house. At last you shine forth, O Fire, O Sun, through the misty window pane!... I shall hardly have crossed the threshold when an overpowering sleepiness will dash me to the floor in front of you--you, who will reduce the mud on my belly to fine powder and change the water of the roads to smoky vapor.