Chapter 15

Lord DARCEY to the Honourable GEORGE MOLESWORTH.

_Barford Abbey_.

I envy not the greatest monarch on earth!--She is return'd with my peace;--my joy;--my very soul.--Had you seen her restorative smiles! they spoke more than my pen can describe!--She bestow'd them on me, even before she ran to the arms of Sir James and Lady Powis.--Sweet condescension!--Her hand held out to meet mine, which, trembling, stopt half way.--What checks,--what restraint, did I inflict on myself!--Yes, that would have been the decisive moment, had I not perceiv'd the eyes of Argus planted _before, behind_, on _every side_ of Sir James.--God! how he star'd.--I suppose my looks made some discovery.--Once more I must take thee up, uneasy dress of hypocrisy;--though it will be as hard to girt on, as the tight waistcoat on a lunatic.

Never has a day appear'd to me so long as _this_.--_Full_ of expectation, _full_ of impatience!--All stuff again.--No matter; it is not the groans of a sick man, that can convey his pain to another:--to feel greatly, you must have been afflicted with the same malady.

I suppose you would laugh to hear how often I have opened and shut the door;--how often look'd out at the window,--or the multiplicity of times examined my watch since ten this morning!--Needless would it likewise be to recount the impatient steps I have taken by the road-side, attentive to the false winds, which would frequently cheat me into a belief, that my heart's treasure was approaching.--Hark! I should say, that must be wheels;--stop and pause;--walk forwards;--stop again, till every sound have died upon my ear.

Harrass'd by expectation, I saunter'd a back way to Jenkings's;--enquired of Mrs. Jenkings, what time she thought her husband might be home; and taking Edmund with me to my former walk, determined to sound _his_ inclinations.--I waved mentioning Miss Warley's name till we had gone near a quarter of a mile from the house; still expecting he would begin the subject, which at this juncture I suppose particularly engaged his attention; but perceiving he led to things quite opposite, I drew him out in the following manner.

So you really think, Edmund, your father will not be out after it is dark?

I have not known, my Lord, that he has for many years; rather than venture, I believe, he would stop the night at Oxford. Very composedly he said this, for I watched his looks narrowly.--

Edmund, confess, confess _frankly_, said I; has not _this_ day been the longest you ever knew?

The longest I ever knew! Faith your Lordship was never more out: far from thinking so, I am startled to find how fast the hours have flown; and want the addition of at least three, to answer letters which my father's business requires.

Business, _Edmund!_ and does _business_ really engross so much of your attention, when you know _who_ is expected in the evening? Ah! _Edmund_, you are a sly fellow: never tell me, you want to lengthen out the tedious hours of _absence_.

_Tedious hours of absence!_ Ho! ho! my Lord, I see _now_ what you are at; your Lordship can never suppose me _such_ a fool as to--

Fool!--My supposition, _Edmund_, pronounces you a man of sense; but you mistake my meaning.

I do not mistake, my Lord; surely it must be the height of folly to lift my thoughts to Miss Warley. Suppose my father can give me a few thousands,--are these sufficient to purchase beauty, good sense, with every accomplishment?--No, no, my Lord, I am not such a vain fellow;--Miss Warley was never born for _Edmund Jenkings_--She told me _so_, the first moment I beheld her.

_Told you so?_ what then, you have made pretensions to her, and she told you _so?_

Yes, my Lord, she told, me _so_.--That is, her _eyes_, her whole graceful _form_, spoke it.--Was I a man of family,--a man of title, with a proper knowledge of the world,--I would not deliberate a moment.

How comes it then, Edmund, that you are so assiduous to oblige her?--You would not run and fly for every young lady.--

True, my Lord, it is not every one would repay me with smiles of condescension. Suffer me to assure your Lordship, when I can oblige Miss Warley, my ambition is gratified.--Never, _never_ shall a more presumptuous wish intrude to make me less worthy of the honour I receive from your Lordship's notice.--

This he spoke with energy;--such energy,--as if he had come at the book of my heart, and was reading its contents. I knew his regard for my dear amiable girl, and the danger of betraying my secret, or should have treated him with unbounded confidence:--I therefore only applauded his sentiments;--told him a man who could think thus nobly,--honour'd me in his friendship;--that mine to him should be unalterable; call'd him brother; and by the joyful perturbations of my soul, I fear I gave him some idea of what I strove to hide.

The curtain of night was dropping by slow degrees, when a distant sound of wheels interrupted our conversation.--We stood listening a moment, as it approach'd nearer. Edmund cry'd out,--They are come; I hear, Caesar's voice; and, taking a hearty leave, ran home to receive them.--I directed my course towards the Abbey, in hopes the chaise had proceeded thither, and found I had steer'd right, seeing it stand at the entrance.

Mr. Jenkings did not get out; Lady Powis refused to part with Miss Warley this night. Whilst I write, I hope she is enjoying a sweet refreshing sleep. O! Molesworth! could I flatter myself she dreams of me!--

To-morrow Lord and Lady Allen, Mr. and Mrs. Winter, dine here; consequently Miss Winter, and her _fond_ admirer, Lord Baily.--How often have I laugh'd to see that cooing, billing, pair? It is come home, you'll say, with a vengeance.--Not so neither.--I never intend making such a very fool of myself as Lord Baily.--Pray, Madam, don't sit against that door;--and pray, Madam, don't sit against this window.--I hear you have encreased your cold;--you speak hoarse:--indeed, Madam, you speak hoarse, though you won't confess it.--In this strain has the monkey ran on for two hours.--No body must help him at table but Miss Winter.--He is always sure to eat whatever is next her.--She, equally complaisant, sends her plate to him;--desires he will have a bit of the same.--Excessively high, my Lord;--you never eat any thing so well done.--The appearance of fruit is generally the occasion of great altercation:--What! venture on peaches again, Miss Winter?--Indeed, my Lord, I shall only eat this small one;--that was not half ripe which made me sick yesterday.--No more nuts; I absolutely lay an embargo on nuts,--No more, nonsense: I absolutely lay an embargo on nonsense, says Molesworth to

DARCEY.